A Genius Actor Who Brings Misfortune - Chapter 499



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The genius actor who brings misfortune (499)

‘When do kids usually have their first kiss?’

I wasn’t even interested, let alone curious about it.

Isn’t that obvious?

Anyway, I don’t belong among the ‘normal kids’.

Not only did I have a high-profile job as an actor, but I was also in an environment that was not suitable for dating.

‘It’s impossible until you remove the black stone.’

What kind of love is this when your survival is at stake? It’s so extravagant.

There was only one thing I was obsessed with right now.

‘What if I have trouble filming a romance movie later?’

Alice is right.

If it’s this hard to grab the waist of a person of the opposite sex, how are you going to do even more intimate skinship?

‘Ugh.’

What should I do? Should I actually try it?

I already knew that many kids my age were exposed to sexual experiences early on.

Who wrote the script for ‘Guide to Minors’ in the first place?

At that time, it took more than a month just to research the data.

Research has shown that more children have sexual experiences during their teenage years than we might think.

If the standard were lowered from sexual intercourse to something like a kiss, the age range would go down even further.

In that context, I wasn’t at an age where it was particularly strange for me to kiss someone of the opposite sex.

‘but….’

That’s just research data.

That doesn’t mean I have to have my first kiss in high school.

After all, I decide my own life.

But contrary to my rational thought process, I kept feeling anxious.

‘(That’s true, but it’s uncomfortable to act.)’

Alice’s words continued to ring in my ears.

That’s right. It’s not too late to think about it after you become an adult, but anyway, there are limitations to acting.

When filming a romance, a certain amount of skinship is an essential element of acting.

It’s hard to even touch someone’s waist right now, so how do you do something more intimate?

I don’t know if it’s an adult film, but at my age, I could probably film a kissing scene where we just touch lips.

‘But can I do that now?’

The deliberations were brief and the conclusion was clear.

‘No, I can’t.’

It’s awkward just thinking about it, but what can I do?

Ha, how do I do this… No, don’t worry too much.

‘It’s not like you have to do method acting all the time.’

In the web drama ‘Hello, My Summer’, I was really immersed in the character of Ho-yoon, who likes Hanna.

It was at that time that I gave Han Se-young a light kiss on the cheek.

I have never had any experience of liking anyone sexually, then or now.

Still, considering that I acted fairly well, there was no need to worry so seriously about it.

‘… … But can I really act like that?’

Suddenly, I remembered the movie ‘Late Night’ that my older brother Jeong-hyeon had filmed.

That was… on a whole different level from a cheek kiss.

I vaguely thought that someday when I became an adult, I would be able to make a movie like that.

The problem that was right in front of me was bleak.

‘stop.’

He shook his head quickly.

Anyway, I’m not at an age where I can take pictures like that.

Why are you so impatient? If you actually do something like that later, you’ll get used to it.

‘Yeah, you’ll get used to it.’

How do you get used to it?

There was only one answer I knew now.

Practice. That’s right, practice will do the trick.

‘… … .’

I blinked my eyes slowly.

‘Who should I practice that with?’

I was in a huge mess.

* * *

‘Ugh.’

From my experience so far, I know that keeping your worries to yourself doesn’t help much.

I wanted to confide in someone about my struggles, and I spent some time wondering who would be appropriate.

‘I guess it would be better to ask someone my age.’

Seong I-jun was of course left out.

Then to Noh Bi-hyeok and Lee Eun-taek… .

‘Tsk.’

I clicked my tongue without realizing it.

‘I’d rather ask a telephone pole than ask them.’

The two were walking the typical male idol route.

Recently, Naed appeared on a public broadcasting entertainment show, and a girl group of similar age appeared with Naed.

People’s reactions at the time were roughly like this.

―? Did someone put a cast on Bihyeok’s neck?

└ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋAh, this is so funny, I can’t even look to the left when I dieㅋㅋ

―The kids as a group are fixated on the MC. Hahaha. It seems like they can only look to the right.

―Lee Eun-taek is real. He only looked at the MC for over 50 minutes.

└Isn’t that like having a crush on MC?ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

└Lee Eun-taek must be like that too

└It was a joke… .

– I support their idol talents

They were not people I could confide in about my concerns about physical intimacy with the opposite sex.

So after much thought, I asked Jinbae.

“Brother, have you ever kissed?”

And then my brother ran away.

No, are you kidding me?

“brother.”

“… … .”

“Brother, where are you going?”

I slowly followed behind Jinbae, who was running away.

‘Why are you acting like that when we’re in the same room anyway?’

It was both absurd and funny.

“I told you to ask me whenever you feel comfortable.”

Now you’re trying to avoid it.

When I snickered, Jinbae hyung grumbled.

“I didn’t know I would be asked this question.”

“Stop jogging and sit down. You can skip the difficult questions.”

I sat on the sofa and slammed the seat next to me.

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Jinbae hyung sat down next to me, watching me closely.

“Why did you suddenly ask that question?”

“I was curious.”

“So why is that…?”

I stared at Jinbae, who had an embarrassed expression on his face.

Jinbae was a strong manager and family member to me.

Although it was cute how he would blink whenever he got flustered like that, he had a strong image of being an adult.

‘There must be some people who see Jinbae hyung sexually?’

Something was strange.

There’s another side to my brother that I don’t know about.

It felt unfamiliar, but at the same time, I was curious.

‘What does it feel like to like someone sexually?’

It’s embarrassing to say, but I truly love my family.

And I still think fog was my first love.

‘But that’s my standard.’

First love, as it is commonly called, was a type of emotion I had not yet experienced.

It’s strange. There are so many people around me who would sacrifice their lives to protect me.

There is another kind of ending to this kind of affectionate feeling.

“Hey, do you remember the conversation we had in Hawaii?”

“Of course. How could I forget that?”

“My brother said that back then. There’s someone you meet sometimes. What exactly are your feelings for that person?”

Jinbae let out a faint sigh with an expression on his face that said he wanted to run away right away.

“As I said then, we are not in a serious relationship.”

“Yes, I know that.”

“And… it’s not fixed on one person either.”

aha.

‘I didn’t know that.’

Unlike me, who nodded without thinking, Jinbae had an expression on his face like he was going to confess in front of a priest.

“I am very satisfied with my life right now. As someone who really enjoys acting, I am happy that I can watch the actor’s acting up close.”

“Yes, thank you.”

“It’s nice to see the actor playing with his friends, and it’s nice to have a meal with actor Jung Hyun, but….”

Jinbae continued speaking hesitantly.

“Apart from that kind of satisfaction, there are times when I have a desire. I release it occasionally before it builds up, but it’s not an act that has much meaning.”

“I know what you want to say, hyung. But you must have some feelings at that moment.”

Even if the goal was simply to feel physical pleasure, it was difficult for me to imagine sharing that feeling with someone else.

In a situation where I can’t experience it right away, I wanted to hear as many experiences as possible.

But Jinbae looked embarrassed and answered like this.

“Well, I just… think it’s good.”

“… … That’s all?”

“As you know, actors, not all emotions can be expressed in words. There are some emotions that are difficult to express in detail.”

My brother just kept repeating that it was good.

‘I already know that.’

It was something I read in a book one day.

The brains of people in love show a pattern of activity very similar to that of drug addicts.

‘That means dopamine is secreted actively.’

I nodded quietly.

“I know that when you fall in love, the activity in the caudate nucleus, which has a lot of dopamine receptors, increases. Are the feelings you feel similar to this?”

“… … .”

Jinbae made an embarrassed face.

“Well, actor. I’ve never experienced the passionate love shown in movies or dramas, but love isn’t a feeling that can be explained by dopamine or receptors.”

“sure?”

“It’s probably just a momentary emotion. An emotion that doesn’t lead to any rational judgment.”

Although Jinbae looked very awkward talking to me like this, he did his best until the end of the conversation.

‘It didn’t really help much though.’

So the next day, I called Nam In-hu.

Luckily, he was still in a good relationship with his reunited girlfriend, and I was able to get detailed answers to the feelings I was curious about.

‘hmm.’

There are still many difficult things, but I understand this for now.

It’s an emotion that I can’t feel right away just because I want to experience it.

The more I listened to Nam In-hu, the more I realized that the emotions I felt when I was in love were fundamentally different from the love I had experienced so far.

‘Can I act out emotions I have no idea about?’

At that moment of anxiety, strangely enough, laughter burst out. Wow.

‘What should I do?’

It’s been almost 6 years since I started acting, but there are still things I don’t know.

It was exciting to realize that I still had a lot to learn, and that it would continue to be so for the foreseeable future.

‘Can it be this fun?’

Even though I’ve been doing this for 6 years, I don’t think I’ll get tired of it even if I do it for 60 years.

I chuckled while thinking about that.

‘Well, I guess I’ll have to try to see if I can act out emotions I don’t know about.’

Don’t be so anxious.

To be honest, I wanted to prepare a ‘countermeasure’.

From the beginning, I also wanted to create an environment where problems would not arise.

‘Yeonjae tends to be a perfectionist.’

‘Me?’

‘Yes, but keep in mind, you can’t control everything. You can’t have everything perfect.’

I took a deep, calm breath, recalling what the doctor had said a long time ago.

If you encounter difficulties while acting, it is not too late to find a solution.

‘Jeonghyun hyung is right next to me, what are you worried about?’

When I put aside my worries about romantic feelings, the problem of skinship with the opposite sex was also naturally resolved.

As I continued to film with Alice, I was able to grab her waist without hesitation without even realizing it.

Of course, it was only to the level of barely holding the waist.

‘Hey, I don’t know. Let’s think about it later.’

How can I prepare for each and every event in the future?

It was strange to even practice this in the first place.

Touching and making contact with someone’s body was a very important matter.

Asking someone to “can I touch your body for a second” just because you don’t want to make a mistake in your future acting is trash.

I blocked the fog that had overheard my worries from shouting, “Then practice on me—” with my hand.

Be quiet.

Because I don’t want things to get awkward with Han Haram.

* * *

One day, when filming for the movie ‘Ilya’ was going smoothly into the second half.

I went out to meet someone.

“(Bambi~! Long time no see!)”

“(hello.)”

Lily Sweety greeted me with a very bright smile.

Today is the day to pay off your debt.

That is, it was the first day of preparing for the collaboration with Lily.

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