A Stuffed Cheonma in my Head - Chapter 136



Only Noblemtl

Episode 136. Not bad.

After that, I was receiving treatment and fell into a deep sleep.

In my sleep, I could hear Linda making a fuss, telling me not to die, but I didn’t have time to pay attention.

Because I sank into the sea of ​​sleep without any time to do anything.

… … I had a dream.

In my dream, I was with Tina.

They endured the cold night by roaming the dirty back alleys, finding food, sharing it, and keeping each other warm.

I tried to become strong to protect her, but in the end I couldn’t protect her.

Because I was too weak. I had to become stronger.

Could it be that, without me knowing it, that this became the basis of my desire to become stronger?

Why do I dream of times I tried so hard to forget and erase from my mind?

I buried Tina in my heart.

There were many times when just thinking about it made my heart ache, so I just forgot about it and lived on.

But she always seemed to remain in my heart.

It seemed to be shining brightly white all alone in the midst of total darkness.

It was only after losing her that I began to believe in heaven and hell.

Heaven wants her to be at peace even after death. Hell wants those who killed her to suffer in hellfire for the rest of their lives.

Perhaps heaven and hell were created by those who lost their loved ones.

She was the whitest thing I had ever had.

Is it because of that guy that my heart wasn’t completely dyed black?

… … .

It seemed like I slept for a long time because the dream continued.

This time it was a different dream.

I was looking at the moon reflected in the calm pond.

A half-split moon was floating in the pond.

“… … .”

I stared blankly at it and when I raised my head, a dazzling night sky spread out before me.

In the pitch-black sky, countless stars were twinkling as if they would pour down at any moment, and a small crescent moon was floating among them.

A soft breeze blew, ruffling my hair.

[Are you here?]

I turned my head at the familiar voice and saw Cheonma walking out from between the trees.

I got up from my seat and greeted him politely.

“Are you here, Master?”

[Okay.]

The horse walked slowly and rested its butt on a rock across the pond.

[Sit down.]

“yes.”

I tried to sit on a rock, but there was no rock on my side.

I had no choice but to sit on the floor.

[… … .]

“… … .”

We stared at the pond in silence for a while.

Suddenly, Cheonma looked at the pond and asked.

[Do you know where this is?]

I answered calmly.

“It must be in my imagination.”

[This pond?]

“You could say it’s the internal energy stored in my danjeon.”

[hmm.]

“It was as dry as a desert, but it has gotten quite warm. That’s fortunate.”

My inner energy was like a trickling stream, then a small but deeper pond, then a lake.

Originally a lake, it became a desert while fighting against the royal knights, and then a pond again.

Cheonma looked at the pond and asked.

[But why are you suddenly using formal language?]

“It’s my heart.”

The devil glared at me.

It could have just been a glance, but to me it felt like a glare.

I immediately closed my eyes and pretended to stare at the pond.

“What’s wrong with using honorifics to a master you respect so much?”

Cheonma found fault.

[So, you’re saying that you didn’t respect him normally?]

“No way.”

I replied in a calm tone.

“I felt a great sense of respect today, so I naturally followed suit.”

[… … .]

I found myself naturally using polite language with Cheonma before I realized it, but upon thinking about it, I realized later that I was using polite language because I thought I would get in trouble.

Even though I was so angry and tried to stop him, he still ran into the darkness like a frightened deer.

I broke out in a cold sweat at the feeling that I was going to get beaten up.

How much would the absolute’s fist hurt?

Cheonma, who had been staring blankly at me, raised one hand.

Wince!

Cheonma snorted as he watched me quickly raise my guard.

[Don’t hit.]

“Really?”

[okay.]

I let down my guard and sighed in relief.

bang!

My eyes flashed, the heavens and the earth shook, and the sky and the earth were reversed.

Has the world turned upside down? No. It was me who was turned upside down.

But it wasn’t entirely wrong, because what I was seeing was my world. If I die, won’t the world disappear with me?

… … What does this mean?

‘Wow… the performance is definitely there.’

As expected, the fist of the Heavenly Demon is different.

Even one hit will make you start talking nonsense.

I can’t even guess how far it has flown.

As I was lying on the ground muttering nonsense, the Heavenly Horse came trudging towards me.

[Never let your guard down.]

“… … .”

[Are you sick?]

“yes.”

[How much does it hurt?]

“It hurts so bad.”

[Shut up. It hurts me more.]

I looked at the Cheonma, who was lying on the ground, looking down at me while carrying a backpack on his back.

“Master, why are you sick?”

[Even if something like you hurts, is it more painful than the heart of a teacher who beats his disciple?]

“aha.”

Cheonma looked into my eyes and said.

[Are you awake?]

“I think so.”

[Get up, you loser. You’re really moving your hands a lot.]

I stood up, holding the hand that Cheonma extended.

After taking off my clothes, I followed the horse towards the pond.

I followed the horse in silence and then broke the silence.

“So, what happened?”

Although he suddenly switched to informal speech, Cheonma paid no attention and answered while walking with his luggage on his back.

[What are you talking about?]

“Vandyke of the Iron Cage. A knight with a large frame who could stand against a large army alone. A fearsome monster. A deadly man who swings his sword like a spear. How did he win? I heard that I cut off both his arms in an instant.”

Cheonma answered nonchalantly.

[What could have happened? This time, it must have been because he let his guard down.]

“… … I don’t think it can be explained that simply.”

The iron bar’s Van Dyke was a cautious man, despite his size.

It was unlikely that someone like that would have both arms cut off simply for letting his guard down.

More than that, let alone my physical condition, at that time, I had absolutely no internal energy left in my danjeon.

Because I scraped together everything I had and used it all to make moonlight. Even that ended up being useless.

But how was it possible for him to move enough to cut off Van Dyke’s arms?

Cheonma walked in silence for a while and then asked.

[Do you know what is meant by innate energy?]

“Huh.”

I was embarrassed.

It was something I clearly learned from Cheonma, but I couldn’t remember it.

I instinctively raised my guard, but Cheonma just looked at me with pitiful eyes.

[… … What are you doing?]

I answered calmly.

“The best defense is a predictable defense.”

[Not an attack?]

“I don’t think so now.”

[Excellent.]

“No problem.”

[Not a compliment.]

“… … .”

Cheonma surprisingly didn’t hit him, but clicked his tongue once and explained it kindly again.

[Innate energy is the true energy that a person possesses from birth. It is several times more pure than general internal energy.]

I had a question.

“Master, I don’t have even a speck of energy.”

I remember clearly.

That’s exactly what it said.

I remember it clearly because I was slightly hurt at the time.

“I told you that even if you look hard, you can’t find it.”

[I?]

“How can this be? No matter how humble your talent is, it’s something you’re born with, no matter how small. Have you ever seen such a beggarly talent?”

Cheonma looked at me with a bewildered face.

[… … Did you still remember that?]

I didn’t avoid eye contact.

“The perpetrator doesn’t remember.”

[… … .]

Cheonma let out a short sigh.

[Innate energy is another word for vitality.]

“vitality?”

[The fundamental life force that humans possess. Since you are using the only life force, it is only natural that it is much more powerful than normal internal energy.]

“oh.”

The devil glared at me.

[You idiot. You won’t like it. It’s called vitality. This incident drained some of your vitality. Your lifespan has been shortened.]

“……omg!”

I hung on Cheonma’s arm.

“Master. Am I going to die? Am I going to die like this? I haven’t even kicked those mercenary bastards’ butts yet.”

Cheonma frowned and slapped my arm away.

[Get out of here. What are you doing? You’re being so obscene.]

I sat down like a humble woman and pounded the ground.

“Oh my… I’ve been fighting like this and I’m going to die in vain. I was born a man and I’ve never had a proper relationship and I’m going to die like this. Does that make sense? What kind of pitiful life is this?”

Cheonma grimaced and kicked my stomach.

“Ugh!”

[Get up, please. What the hell are you doing?]

I lay there muttering in vain.

“… … They say life is worth living. What value can there be in a life that is nothing but a fight?”

Cheonma said, clicking his tongue.

[You won’t die. You won’t die, so wake up.]

“What?”

I jumped up and looked at Cheonma.

“I’m not dying?”

[Yeah. Are you kidding me because my innate ability is a little off? I won’t die.]

“then?”

[It must hurt so much that you feel like you’re going to die. You probably won’t wake up for a while.]

“… … .”

Cheonma walked ahead, carrying a load on his back.

I followed along, wondering whether I should like it or be sad.

[But fortunately, I came back in time. If I had gone just a little further, I would have crossed the line of no return, to the point where recovery would have been impossible.]

Now that I think about it, I remember Cheonma getting angry because Seon was not far away.

So, the deeper I went into the darkness, the more I slowly died.

If I had crossed the line, I would have fallen into the abyss that was lurking beyond.

I was able to survive thanks to Tina grabbing me and turning me back into the light.

The devil looked at me.

[Do you understand? The magic of the coin is this scary.]

I nodded silently.

After experiencing it firsthand, I could truly feel the horror of the magic pill.

He was a scary guy who could easily fall into the abyss with just one mistake.

Only then did I realize how dangerous a technology the bloody world was.

And why did Cheonma tell you to restrain yourself?

It is also said that the season is on the border of being possessed by a demon.

So, all this time, I was dancing with the devil in my heart, on the edge of possession by the devil.

Without fear.

How dangerous it must have seemed from Cheonma’s perspective.

They say ignorance is bliss, and that was exactly what happened to me.

[No matter how strong you become, the demon of the mind will still come to visit you from time to time. The demon of possession is a battle with yourself. Always be on guard and careful.]

“yes.”

We walked along a quiet forest path.

Cheonma spoke in a mumbling tone as he walked forward.

[Life is worth living… … .]

Cheonma seemed lost in thought for a moment, then nodded and muttered.

[Good point.]

I agreed.

“That’s a good point. I’ll have to look into it a bit more to see if it’s true.”

[Disciple.]

“Yes, Master.”

[I guess that white guy was the one who drew the line in your heart.]

I nodded.

“That must have been it.”

Cheonma didn’t ask any more questions.

We then walked a while further back to the pond.

Cheonma approached the rock he had sat on before and sat down on his buttocks, and I sat down on the ground opposite him.

[Disciple.]

“Yes, Master.”

[Do you know where the path we have walked is?]

I tilted my head.

“In my mind?”

Cheonma nodded.

[Yes. It’s in your imagination. Also, it’s the path you were running away from, being chased by the devil.]

“… … !”

I looked back with startled eyes.

Cheonma continued speaking in a calm tone.

[If you go deeper here, you will come across the darkness you were wandering in. That place was also in your imagination.]

Cheonma looked at my shocked face blankly and asked.

[What has changed?]

“……nothing.”

Cheonma nodded slowly.

[Yes. Nothing has changed.]

“… … .”

[However, your mindset will be different now than it was then.]

“yes.”

[Even if you walk the same path, it will look completely different depending on your frame of mind. If you think that you are being chased by someone, it will only feel darker. Right?]

“I think so.”

Cheonma looked at me with quiet eyes.

[Disciple.]

“Yes, Master.”

[It’s not the situation that creates the attitude. It’s the attitude that creates the situation.]

“… … .”

[Choose the right attitude in any situation.]

“I will keep that in mind.”

Cheonma looked around and said.

[Look. How is it?]

I looked around following the horse.

This is in my imagination.

This quiet pond must be my inner strength.

The pitch-black night sky would be the night sky, the stars scattered about like salt would be stars, and the white moon would be the month.

The cool breeze blowing is like a flying kite.

“Hey… … .”

It was beautiful.

Don’t I have a pretty great mind?

What was it that made you wander in the darkness so afraid?

“Not bad.”

I smiled faintly.