A Stuffed Cheonma in my Head - Chapter 54



Only Noblemtl

Episode 054. Crazy Linda

* * *

I opened my eyes.

Before my eyes was crazy Linda.

No, to be exact, there was a crazy Linda who was as cloudy as clear water.

I asked her.

“Crazy bitch?”

She furrowed her brows.

“Don’t call me a crazy bitch.”

“Don’t call a crazy bitch a crazy bitch. Then what do you call her?”

The crazy bitch laughed.

“Those people who called me crazy. Do you know what happened to them?”

“What should I know?”

“They’re all dead. So watch your mouth. If you don’t want to die.”

I nodded.

“Okay, you crazy bitch.”

“… … .”

“What are you looking at, you crazy bitch.”

Transparent Linda tore off a piece of my body and threw it at me.

Crunch!

I immediately kicked my seat and ran away.

Chewy!

The place I was in was melting away.

“Ooh.”

Transparent Linda clenched her fist.

Between the fingers were sharp needles that looked like the claws of a devil.

“Wow, this is brutal.”

Transparent Linda swung her arms.

Pissed!

Transparent needles flew in.

I dodged quickly, then kicked her in the jaw.

Crunch!

Liquid Linda’s chin flew off.

Instead, my feet melted too.

Chewy!

“What the heck!”

A terrible pain came rushing in.

The skin melted and the bones were exposed.

Linda, her jaw missing, lunged at me, screaming in a strange way.

“It hurts, you crazy bitch!”

Since she was already melted, she attacked Linda by kicking her here and there with her melting feet.

Every time he attacked, a part of his body would fly off.

“That’s right!”

I realized it intuitively.

If I blow up this guy’s body, I win.

If I melt before that, I lose.

I attacked her with kicks as best I could before my feet completely melted.

Then he jumped on one foot and started punching her remaining body parts.

“Yaaaah!”

Pubberbug! Cheek!

My hands were melting and I was in terrible pain, but I didn’t stop.

It was a do-or-die situation.

When my hand suddenly melted and I couldn’t strike, I jumped on one foot and threw a body-slam.

“Hehehe!”

I don’t know why, but it made me laugh.

Am I crazy?

I felt like I couldn’t stand it without going crazy.

Before I knew it, only a handful of Linda’s transparent, murky body remained.

A piece of her head, the last of her remains, was floating, glaring at me.

I leapt towards Linda and delivered a one-footed dropkick.

“Ah-choo!”

Crunch!

Linda is gone.

I snapped out of my reverie, screaming, “I won!”

“… … .”

A refreshing breeze blew, tickling my hair.

I slowly opened my eyes.

I was in a daze.

A clear poison was dripping from his fingertips.

Only then did I come to my senses.

I was staring blankly into space, feeling the wind blowing, then I came to my senses and looked around.

Across the table, I saw the real Linda.

She still had her head on the table, motionless.

The masked men lined up on both sides of the table looked at me with surprised eyes.

Among them, the man who was pouring tea spoke to me as a representative.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded.

“I killed Linda with a clear liquid and survived.”

“……yes?”

“It’s nothing.”

I sat up straighter in my slumped position and looked at Linda, who was motionless with her head down, and asked.

“Is that thing dead?”

“For now, it seems like that.”

“For now?”

If you’re dead, you’re dead. ‘For now’, you say.

The masked man explained.

“Mac is not running.”

“Then he’s dead.”

“But since you’ve woken up like that often before, I can’t be sure.”

“Could that be?”

“That has happened.”

“… … This is ridiculous.”

I laughed in vain.

He looked blankly at the masked men and asked.

“But why don’t you kill me?”

“yes?”

“You’re being dragged around by that bitch. I’ll take this opportunity to kill you for sure. Why are you just sitting there?”

The masked man who was pouring tea answered.

“We ate Linda’s poison.”

I looked into his eyes again.

“You look okay?”

The masked man nodded.

“Right now, yes. But in a week or so, no.”

“aha.”

It seemed to be a type of poison that slowly eats away at the body.

You could call it a latent poison.

When I think about it, it’s strange. Even though it’s poison, it’s still hiding?

“You must take the antidote Linda gives you regularly to stop the poison’s effects. Only Linda can make the antidote… … .”

I nodded.

“I understand.”

“Yes. Therefore, we must desperately block you from attacking Lady Linda.”

Click.

The man took off his mask, revealing his bare face.

“Please understand our position… … .”

His mouth was smiling, but his eyes were crying.

No, when I looked again, his mouth was also forming a sad smile.

‘Please save me.’

The man’s eyes spoke to me once again.

“… … .”

I stared blankly at the man, then turned my gaze to Linda across from me.

It was because her hands were twitching.

“Hehehe… … .”

A creepy laugh was heard, and she suddenly sat up.

The man wore a road mask.

“Heeheehee!”

She looked off into space for a moment, laughing, as if she had lost her mind, and then she looked at me and her eyes lit up.

A color came to his pale face.

“Devil! As expected! You survived!”

I nodded.

“I won’t die from this kind of poison.”

“Hehehe! How does it taste?”

I answered with a sly smile.

“It was thrilling.”

“Right? Right? This feeling of death coming. Feeling the waves of death crashing down on me. Feeling like I’m licking the raw taste of death. Is this the true taste of death? It’s so sweet! Ah, isn’t it so good?”

Linda looked rapt as she strangled me.

Since it was a crazed review, I didn’t really respond.

She, who had been in a state of ecstasy alone, looking up at the sky, soon lowered her gaze and looked at me with sparkling eyes.

“Devil! You’re the first person who’s ever enjoyed a tea party with me until the end! I finally found a friend! Let’s be friends! Are we friends now? Are we friends? Yes? Right?”

She asked excitedly, jumping up and down in place.

But I shook my head coldly.

“no.”

“What? Why?!”

Linda’s face looked as if the sky had fallen.

She asked again as if she was about to burst into tears.

“Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why on earth?”

I explained it kindly, as if I was soothing a child who was running wild.

“Friendship is something that is decided by mutual consent. I passed your friend test, so it’s only fair that you pass mine.”

“Oh, I see.”

Linda was easily convinced.

She, who had been jumping around, quietly sat down on the chair.

Then he said in a voice full of enthusiasm.

“What kind of test is it? I’ll take it right now!”

“Before that. I think you poisoned those masked men. Is there an antidote? Not an antidote that slows down the spread of the poison, but an antidote that completely eliminates it.”

Linda nodded.

“Yeah, I have it! Should I give it to you?”

“Give it to me.”

“okay!”

She said, turning around in her arms.

“Yeah! I already found a friend! I don’t need it anymore!”

Linda rummaged through her bag, pulling out several bottles of medicine one by one.

“Yeah, not this one. Not this one either… … Ah, I found it!”

He took out a small glass bottle and threw it at me.

widely.

While I was getting the antidote and looking at it, Linda explained.

“Just dilute it in warm water one drop at a time and drink it! It’s very strong!”

I threw the antidote I received at the man on the road.

“Take it.”

The masked man accepted it in a dazed manner.

“Did you hear that?”

“……yes.”

“Then get out. Don’t say a word. If you open your mouth, I’ll kill you.”

“… … .”

The masked men stared at me blankly, bowed their heads slightly, and disappeared somewhere.

Linda looked at me and asked, not even glancing at the masked men.

“So, what’s the test?”

“My test is simple.”

I answered, holding on to the end of the long table.

“Not dying.”

I lifted the table and overturned it.

* * *

Wow!

The tea sets on the table spilled over.

As soon as I threw the table up, I fired a shot at Linda.

A long table slowly rose into the sky, making way for me.

When I reached her, a table that was straight up towards the sky stood like a wall between me and her.

I grabbed the hilt of the knife.

At the same time as the sword was drawn, the table was raised vertically and cut.

Chomp!

The table split apart and the scenery beyond came into view.

Linda wasn’t there.

Only after the red-aura sword had sliced ​​through the table did Linda peek her face through the gap.

“Not dying? You want me to avoid attacks?”

Tea sets that had been raised high into the sky along with the table fell to the floor, and a loud crashing sound could be heard from all directions.

I answered calmly in the middle of that chaos.

“It’s a fight. Dodge and attack me. Be prepared to kill me.”

“What? I don’t want to kill the friend I finally found!”

Behind her, the table split in half fell with a thud!

I said, holding the red-tinged sword.

“Then you will die. Think carefully.”

“Ugh… … .”

Linda seemed to think carefully, then she made a suggestion to me.

“Then let’s do this! I won’t use a knife! If my friend had one arm or leg missing, I would feel upset every time I saw him.”

“Or so.”

“Is it okay to fight with the intention of killing in that state? Is it okay to die?”

“Don’t worry about that. Then I won’t use my sword either.”

As soon as I put my sword back in its sheath, I spun around and swung my fist at Linda.

In an instant, starlight sparkled at the tip of his fist, and a night sky spread out from his arm.

Instead of using a sword, I used my arm itself as a sword.

“Oh, this is black magic!”

Linda laughed and jumped back to avoid it.

Then he threw needles into the air.

“Yup! Take this!”

I cleverly dodged the needles by hiding in the scattered wild grass, and struck the rest with my fist.

As soon as Linda landed on the ground, he kicked off the ground and rushed at her.

Just before the starlight fist made contact with her face, her cheek suddenly puffed out and she spurted something out.

“… … !”

It was only after I turned it over that I could see what it was.

It was poison.

Chewy!

The poison she spewed out stank and burned my clothes.

However, it did not penetrate my skin.

That little shit will have an effect.

“Hehehe.”

I smiled because I was so proud.

“The invincible Ashvan is coming out! Hahahaha!”

I ran towards Linda, laughing happily.

“Your name is Ashvan? That’s a cool name!”

Linda quickly fled into the air, spraying poison, twisting her body and spraying poisoned needles… … .

He was no match for me.

Her movements were slower than Shushuruta’s, and the venom she poured out was no longer a threat to me.

Unless you can get some more creative poison from somewhere, it’s unlikely to kill me.

It was a little tingly, but there were no unpleasant incidents like numbness or anything like that.

But you must not let your guard down.

However, if I keep getting poisoned, it could become dangerous at some point, so I decided to end it quickly.

If you make fun of poison, you’ll be gone in an instant.

I dazzled Linda’s eyes with the flying wild grass every time I swung my arms, and I kept her in check with my sword every now and then, pushing her little by little towards the cliff.

After rushing around like that… … .

At the right moment, he extended his palm like lightning and sent out a star-like blast of tension.

puck!

“oh!”

Linda was hit with a flashing sword on her shoulder and sent flying towards the cliff.

I thought I would disappear down the cliff, but I barely managed to hold on by holding on to the edge of the cliff.

She struggled to climb up from the cliff, but she was unable to keep her body still, swaying like a leaf in the strong wind.

It was a very dangerous situation.

I approached her hanging from the cliff, smiled, and made eye contact.

My hair fluttered wildly like her swaying body.

She had a sad look on her face.

“Why… … .”

I looked into Linda’s eyes and said.

“Linda. What did I say earlier?”

“What? I don’t know! I don’t remember! I don’t want to die… … . I finally found a friend I can enjoy a tea party with! You devil! I’ll make a lot of delicious tea. Lift me up! Huh? The wind is blowing so hard that my body is shaking!”

I reached down the cliff.

The moment Linda blushed and reached out to grab my hand.

match!

I slapped Linda’s cheek as she continued to babble.

Linda looked at me with a surprised expression.

“Are you coming to your senses now?”

Linda answered bewilderedly.

“Uh, yeah.”

I spoke calmly to Linda, who had come to her senses.

“This test. I said it wouldn’t kill you.”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“Linda. This is a test.”

“huh?”

“The test I have given you is to not die. If you survive the fall from this cliff, I will be your friend.”

Linda’s eyes widened.

“really?”

“Then. Did you see me lying?”

“I don’t think I’ve seen it!”

I looked into Linda’s eyes as she answered with a bright smile.

Really… … they were the eyes of a madman.

I smiled faintly and said to crazy Linda.

“Okay, cheer up.”

“huh!”

Linda smiled happily and let go of his hand.

She quickly fell down the cliff.

“Devil! I’ll go find you!”