Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols - Chapter 165



Only Noblemtl

| Episode 165. Mind Control (1)

How long have I had my eyes closed?

At a moment when I couldn’t tell if I was in a light sleep or not, I heard a familiar voice in the darkness.

“Anyway, young people these days are mentally weak. Their minds are corrupted. How are you going to live your life if you’re so weak?”

A rough, blunt, and emotional tone.

It was something that Manager Nam always said.

Even without looking, the atmosphere in the office was vivid. Manager Nam was reading an internet article alone and muttering, and everyone else was just doing their own thing, pretending not to hear.

Someone whispered right next to me. It was Deputy Manager Ahn’s voice.

“I heard that one of the employees in the nearby office died. He heard about that and he’s acting like this.”

The vice president swallowed a sigh.

“I’m sick of those young people talking. They talk about people like they’re losers. How long do they all struggle to live?”

It was a time when even the vice president’s team members were quitting one after another. And Vice President Ahn was one of the few people who did not swear at employees who were leaving.

“That’s what it’s like these days. They say that if they quit their job, they feel like something big will happen, so they think about extreme things. They’re on the defensive. No matter how much people around them tell them to take a break, how can they hear it? When your mind is tired, your thinking becomes dull… … .”

The vice president spoke calmly, with deep and dark words.

“But the world is big. The company isn’t just here. So.”

That day.

The first day I went back to work after seeing my older sister off.

I remembered the last words the vice president said to me as he consoled me.

“Manager Kim, don’t do that.”

A chill seeped under my feet. I could hear the faint sound of water.

When I opened my eyes, I saw a bright night view in the distance.

The few tall buildings that still had their lights on were splendid.

‘Hannam Bridge?’

Since I saw it often coming and going, it was easy to know where it was.

However, there was something different than usual. There wasn’t a single car in sight on the bridge that was usually jam-packed during rush hour.

The road was empty, and the streetlights blinked in the damp morning air.

The night sky was pitch black.

‘What time is it… … .’

As I rummaged through my pockets, my cell phone came into my hand.

It was 4:10 in the morning. The first bus hadn’t even left yet.

As I walked on the pavement, my arms felt cool. As I ran my arms down, I felt the rustling material of my shirt.

Suddenly, I turned around and checked the direction I was walking from. I saw buildings with almost all of their lights off. About an hour away along that road was Hanpyeong Industrial Complex.

The moment when you turn your body back to face the original direction.

My whole body was cold. My chest felt tight and stuffy.

The wind was blowing, but I couldn’t breathe.

Beyond the narrow railing, a dark, wide sky was visible.

It was so dark that you couldn’t tell where the river was and where the sky was.

My stomach felt nauseous. The hand covering my mouth was shaking. I had to hold on to the railing with all my might because my steps were unsteady. I felt like I was going to fall.

Without realizing it, words came out of my mouth without my conscious thought.

“Sister.”

The other hand also turned to the railing. The black river flowed gently.

The scenery I had seen when I was twenty-eight unfolded before my eyes.

The ‘erased feelings’ that I had forgotten weighed on my heart.

“Should I continue to live like this?”

At that time, I asked myself at the riverside without an answer.

I can’t say I’ve lived hard, but I haven’t lived lazy either.

Even though I didn’t have a dream, it’s not like I didn’t have hope.

I just thought I was living fairly well.

Life was turned upside down in an instant. I had been living by inertia since the unexpected accident.

Open your eyes when the alarm rings, go to work on time, and don’t feel motivated even when you get scolded.

Then, when the time comes, I return home and live a life of sleeping alone.

Everyone said they would live a changed tomorrow, but I was the only one who remained the same, like a stone stuck in the ground.

Because he didn’t like that kind of appearance, he was often picked on here and there. He hated that, so he continued to hide underground. He only put down roots in barren places and didn’t move.

I have no motivation, no desire to do anything. I have no thoughts.

Someone came in through the gap in my defenses. I didn’t fight back even as he poked at my wounds.

I gave up thinking. I had no confidence that I could live a better future.

The more I realize it, the more I feel the empty space. Because there is no future for me, my older sister.

Because it’s painful.

My older sister was the only one who told me to live well. Now, there’s no one who gives me courage.

Because I can’t breathe.

I let out my choked breath. A rough sound came from my throat. My breathing was ragged.

I bowed my head for a long time.

Even though the wind blew my hair so hard that it almost covered my face, I didn’t straighten it. I didn’t straighten my back either.

He lowered his gaze downwards, as if trying to see the bottom of an invisible river.

At that moment, a small vibration came from my pocket.

Familiar save names, familiar speech patterns. And… … .

Manager

[I’m going to work at a business partner tomorrow]

[Mr. Kim, please do some onboarding for new employees]

[Come early and set up]

… … The treatment I thought I would receive for the rest of my life.

The night view was so far away, but the light from my cell phone was so close. It was like I was going blind.

I took a step back from the railing.

I feel like the heart that supported me has died.

At the age of twenty-eight, when everything was burnt down and only the shell remained, I gave up on Kim I-wol’s human life.

Kim Yi-wol stared at the text message that arrived around 4:30 in the morning for a long time.

Then he smiled with a sad face.

Kim Iwol muttered.

“Life is so hard, sis… … .”

Kim Yi-wol took a step. It was a heavy, unsteady step, without any will or purpose.

And then I woke up from my dream.

There was only pitch-black darkness, like water.

“ah…….”

I’d rather not remember it.

I should have just forgotten about it.

It would have been better to live my whole life without ever knowing about the time when I didn’t want to do anything.

“Ah, ah… … .”

My emotions were stirred.

I bit my lips hard and pressed my palms to my eyes, trying to calm my throbbing heart.

But nothing changed. Neither the pain nor the deep depression.

I searched through my carrier like crazy. Then I took out the headache pills I had hidden away and took some.

I didn’t even have time to go get water, so I swallowed it with my saliva. Then I fell asleep as if escaping from reality.

* * *

The morning dawned.

I wanted to give up everything. My shoulders were heavy.

As I was sitting quietly on the bed, Lee Cheong-hyeon came down the stairs and greeted me.

“good morning!”

My older sister was reflected on that face.

“Hey, you’re here early?”

The first day I returned, my face was just blurry. But when I opened that one memory data, my face became much clearer.

That’s why it was more painful. The hand hidden under the blanket was shaking.

Contrary to my feelings, the smile that had been engraved on my face reflexively appeared.

I’m a newbie.

“Oh, good morning.”

A tall man. An idiot. A fool.

Whether you feel good or not, you just try to put on a smiling face in front of others, and you can’t say anything about what you like or what you don’t like, and you get buried in it.

You stupid bastard who only does what others tell you to do without any sense of humility.

* * *

“Brother, are you done eating?”

Kang Ki-yeon asked after seeing my salad container. There was about half a salad left without any sauce on it.

“huh.”

“… … Where does it hurt?”

Park Joo-woo, who was the one reporting the news, also looked at me.

“I feel sick because I only eat salad. Why?”

“That’s true.”

Lee Cheong-hyeon agreed. Choi Je-ho… … Judging from the fact that he was finishing his third salad by himself, it seemed like he had no sympathy for what I was saying.

“But bro, you didn’t eat anything this morning either.”

“Are you guys watching me?”

“Isn’t it stranger to not know each other when we’re eating at the same table?”

Kang Ki-yeon squinted his eyes and scolded him.

If I were to bake bread, I would lie and say I ate a piece while baking. Unfortunately, I haven’t been given permission to bake bread yet.

“Still, you should eat something to feel better. You need to take your medicine, hyung.”

Even Jeong Seong-bin tried to persuade me with affectionate words that made people unable to ignore me.

“Thanks to your loving nagging, I feel like I’m getting better without taking medicine.”

“So you’re not taking your medicine now?”

“I am also a person who takes my medicine well.”

How I hate headaches. After having one a long time ago, I realized how precious refreshing brain activity is.

My head is better now, but I’m still taking eight weeks’ worth of medication.

‘Ah, slowly… … .’

While I was making a lame joke, I felt a sour taste in my mouth.

I said I would get up first and got up, carrying the salad bowl and the trash.

I came out of the practice room, separated the trash, and went straight to the bathroom.

Then he went into the last room and locked the door.

“Ugh.”

I feel like vomiting. The salad I just ate has just come back to me.

That’s why I can’t eat anything. Even if I eat something, I’ll just throw it all up, so what’s the point of eating it?

I would have rather starved if I didn’t have to eat with those Spark guys.

“Ugh, ugh… … .”

My stomach has been like this for days. Whenever I put food in, I feel like vomiting within a few minutes. I feel like I’m just wasting precious food by vomiting.

This happened a lot around the age of twenty-eight. It felt like not only my head’s memories but my body’s memories were coming back.

‘It’s fortunate that there is some trick to it.’

On the first day, I briefly forgot about the past and sprinkled some oriental sauce on it, but I threw up and my nose almost got messed up. Since then, I’ve been forced to eat the Kang Ki-yeon diet.

After hitting his chest a few times with his fist, the swelling subsided a little.

This was starting to take its toll. Maybe it was because I hadn’t eaten anything but my energy consumption was still the same, but my head was getting dizzy.

‘But if you show that you are not okay at work… … .’

I felt like the river was rising beneath my feet. When I turned around, I thought I would see the straight road leading to Hanpyeong Industrial Complex.

“Whew!”

My hands went back to the toilet. I retched until I felt dizzy, and then I could barely raise my head.

The system was floating above the bathroom wall.

+

[SYSTEM] Correction effects are applied according to performance.

▷ The ‘Attendance Management’ is recognized as the best and receives high evaluations.

+

It was a phrase I had seen before. I think something similar was first activated when attendance management was 18 points.

I think I benefited from the monthly evaluation because my sincerity was recognized.

When I opened the resume, the numbers had changed little by little.

+

Performance Evaluation (100)

─ Vocal proficiency: 11/20

─ Dance proficiency: 9/20

─ Self PR: 17/20

─ Attendance management: 20(▲)/20

─ Adaptability within the organization: 15/20

─ Cumulative fatigue: 15%

+

The accumulated fatigue level that I had finally managed to lower to 0% had already increased again. It seems that this is because I had been moving around without eating anything.

The attendance management in question was perfect.

‘If you give a one-time benefit for excellent attendance, what effect does it have when attendance is the best?’

As I was staring blankly into space, a new phrase was added to the bottom of the system.

+

▷ To perform tasks smoothly, minimize the perception of negative emotions.

+

I guess the system really wants to help me.

It looks like it gives me exactly the features I need.