Became an Academy Spearman - Chapter 539



539. Feeling for the first time

***

There is a saying that ‘words’ are a mirror that reflects the ‘heart’.

There is a high possibility that the words that come out of one’s mouth contain one’s own feelings or are implicitly expressing one’s feelings even if one is not conscious of it.

And in a broader sense, actions were no different from words.

Everyone can put their heart into it.

However, ironically, there were times when such words and actions had the opposite effect.

There are times when you don’t even realize that your mind has changed, as if you are already being influenced by your words and actions… .

In that sense, Rachel is now.

He felt the change in himself more than anyone else.

“……”

“……”

There was a strange silence in the space.

Now, no one is saying anything to each other. Strangely enough, the silence wasn’t uncomfortable.

I actually came to enjoy that atmosphere a little, to the point where it felt natural.

‘When I think about it, when did it start?’

I also found it strange that I was like this.

When I used the trait called fascination and approached Han Tiansheng and attempted to make skinship with him, I had no special feelings in my heart.

That much I could say with certainty.

I didn’t do that because I liked Han Cheon-seong, and I approached him with a clear purpose.

Because he will become great in the future,

Because it is essential to this empire,

With that in mind, I contacted him with the mindset of sacrificing myself a little.

I tried to use charm to somehow keep him from getting away from me.

I thought that it would be too much of a waste of talent and power if it were to be exploited or used by another faction of the royal family… .

however.

Now, everything felt different.

Rather than thinking about the purpose and meaning of such actions, I just look at him as he is.

Before I knew it, I saw a man named Han Cheon-seong… … .

There was me watching.

“…Princess Rachel.”

“Say it.”

I gently opened my mouth and made careful eye contact.

There he was, giving me a strange look, as if he felt awkward even making eye contact with me. And just by that sight, my heart was definitely reacting.

‘Should I express this… as excitement?’

Even though we were just looking at each other, my heart was shaking like a big rolling wave.

It was different from before, different from who I was at any time.

You become more conscious and see him as himself.

“I think the princess knows something about me without me having to explain it to her.”

“that’s right. “I already know about you.”

From noble mtl dot come

I answered willingly, but I didn’t want to lie.

Pretending not to know.

Pretend you didn’t know.

I ended up answering as is without choosing to do anything.

“…I know this may seem profane, but I already have a lover. I also gave my heart to them and received their heart as well. “I guess it’s not that surprising.”

“Yes. “I knew that fact even when we reunited at the Magic Tower.”

I continued to agree, but kept it in my eyes.

The way he hesitates, the look in his eyes that worries and agonizes over me.

“And yet… are you talking to me like that?”

The voice that spoke to me carefully was shaking.

As if it was hard to believe that I was like this, as if I hadn’t expected it. I could see all of his cautious appearance.

“Do you think I shouldn’t have said that?”

So I asked in reverse.

“How could I think that? However, I can only say this because I cannot understand the princess’s feelings. I believe that the princess is in an extremely noble position and has received a lot of love. But in the eyes of the princess, how could I be… … .”

I couldn’t stop laughing at the sight of him blurting out his words at the end.

‘It must be strange.’

It will be difficult for him to understand me even when he looks at me.

Because it makes no sense for a princess to express her feelings to a man who has several women. It was no exaggeration to say that it was extremely unrealistic and impossible.

Even if there was no line of succession to the imperial throne, the royal family was definitely the imperial family.

He is incomparable to any other noble, and his very existence commands a lot of envy and respect.

Even if there is a harem system, it is natural that no noble family applies it to the royal family.

and… .

Even I felt strange like this.

Because I didn’t approach you because I liked you. The reason I touched him was not at all due to those feelings.

“Just as you find it difficult to understand me, I honestly feel the same way right now.”

Even though I was expressing my feelings, I just laughed.

Han Tiansheng, it was probably inevitable that he would like me, it was just something that had to happen.

Charm was used without any restrictions.

Before I knew it, I had taken for granted actions that I had never done to anyone else.

Then, no matter when, he had no choice but to fall for me.

But on the other hand, the fact that I fell in love with Han Cheon-seong… was actually close to something that shouldn’t have happened.

But like some kind of twist of fate, it all came together.

“Princess… .”

Seeing him still confused, I gently touched the teacup.

Even as I looked at my pure white hands, I honestly felt conflicted.

‘Can I choose?’

There will definitely be a huge storm.

And I know that I will get all kinds of gossip. Since this is unprecedented, it will become an even bigger rumor.

But now, I was starting to feel like I had to make that choice.

“I know why you are hesitating now, I know why you are hesitating.”

Because there is another woman I love.

No matter how much confusion and anguish he was in, he came to me to express his will.

“yes. “I came here prepared to give up this feeling.”

Afterwards, my heart was greatly shaken as I watched him say these big words as if he were declaring them.

“……”

I suddenly realized this while my eyes were shaking.

Why did I fall in love with this man? I may have become more aware of him and started thinking more sincerely about him without even realizing it.

That’s exactly what it looked like.

And it was will.

It was different compared to anyone else.

My instincts now told me that I would never see a man like him again.

‘It can be said that the fascination has been fully revealed.’

Additionally, the intensity of that fascination is probably stronger than ever.

The various appearances he showed yesterday meant that. Because I’ve all seen him react greatly to my every word and action, as if he’s in love.

That’s why he probably wants and desires me more now than any of his previous vassals.

Now, if I raised my body and came even a little closer to him, I could see that he would somehow try to overlap me.

It was easy to guess that he was craving me somehow and begging for me.

‘Han Cheon-seong… .’

It was no exaggeration to say that I had already had him in my hands.

however.

He was talking to me now.

He came to me with the intention of giving up his feelings for me, and he was telling me as if he had such great feelings for me.

Even as we made eye contact, a strange smile escaped me.

It felt like a small crack was forming between my shaking heart.

…Even that was strange.

It was a feeling I also felt for the first time.

Even when I had someone look at me with fascination, I never felt happy at all. Because all of that is a lie anyway.

Because it makes you look at me with a false mind.

But when it became related to a man named Han Cheon-seong, everything was different.

When he really looked at me yesterday, I was purely happy to see him bewildered by his feelings for me.

He was the first person to make me feel this way. And now, my heart feels broken.

Even though he had such great feelings for me, he came to me prepared to give up on me… … .

So I was able to decide at once how to act and what choices to make.

“Han Tiansheng.”

“…Yes, princess.”

“I have everything I always wanted. “No matter what I wanted, I was able to take it all for granted.”

He continued speaking calmly while making eye contact.

Even if his feelings were fake due to fascination, he still had feelings for me.

And ironically, I truly fell in love with him.

So, there was nothing rough.

“I want you too now.”

There was no hesitation as the words came out.

From now on, the only person who will change my heart like this is that man, and so I have made up my mind to the point where I accept that he is my fate.

“Rachel… Princess…”

Strangely, I laughed as I watched him continue his speech as if it were interrupted.

My heart grew bigger and bigger, to the point where my cracked heart became insignificant.

I felt it now just by looking at it.

It felt like I had been harmed.

Even though I was the one who used charm, it was as if he was using charm on me.

Now I was hoping for him even more.

“I don’t want to tell you to break up with the other woman you are currently in a relationship with.”

Even though he said what I was most hoping for, my heart… was actually relieved.

“…!”

Even though I saw him with his eyes raised for a moment, I had no choice but to make a choice.

Of course I wanted to monopolize him.

For the first time, I fell in love with someone and had them in my heart.

However, I couldn’t judge everything based on my feelings alone. Because that was my nature, I knew it even more.

Why did he make such a big decision to give up on me?

‘that.’

…Unlike how I made him love me by lying.

It was because there were people he truly loved.

And I already knew that it would be virtually impossible to make them give up.

Despite this strong fascination, he came to me with the determination to give up his feelings.

“I’ll give up a lot because I think that way… I can have you.”

As I spoke, I wondered if this was love.

The emotions that make me make such absurd choices… .

If it’s not love, what else?