Became an Academy Spearman - Chapter 803
803. [Western Front] – Heartbreaking and heartbreaking (79)
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“Princess Rachel… … .”
It sounded like a calm voice.
No, it was a soft, friendly voice.
That’s what it sounded like to Rachel.
“… … .”
Two eyes looking directly at you.
And when I met those two eyes filled with strong power that seemed to have made up my mind, I felt like my heart stopped for a moment.
‘answer… … ?’
What kind of answer will he give me?
I couldn’t imagine that, and my heart was greatly shaken.
I did not come to this Western Front to hear answers to past remarks. So even though his words were so sudden, I couldn’t say anything.
“I kept thinking about how noble the royal family are. “And I tried to understand the situation by repeatedly thinking about where I was.”
“… … Now, wait a minute. you.”
“And I could finally make a decision. As I said a moment ago, this, like my period of service, is entirely my opinion and my decision, so I have no hesitation.”
Seeing him repeating what I said over and over again, my vision was shaken without me realizing it.
I felt dizzy.
however… … .
I had an intuitive feeling.
‘He’s already made his decision.’
Now, no matter what I say, he has no intention of changing his mind.
I felt this in the past as well, but he was a man who tried to carry out his decision at all costs the moment he made it. He couldn’t give in to external pressure or easily change himself based on someone else’s opinion.
So I was more afraid of that.
‘No… … going to be.’
I denied it without realizing it.
I denied to myself that the answer he was about to give me would not be the answer I disliked.
“… … That’s why I think I’m still lacking a lot compared to Princess Rachel.”
I felt like my heart was falling as he heard the words that followed.
“… … .”
While my eyes were blurry, I unconsciously bit my lip.
We should immediately open our mouths and refute that this is not the case at all and deny it. It was as if my mind was covered in pitch-black darkness, and no thoughts or words came out of my mouth.
Sreuk.
In a daze, my hands lost strength.
“No matter how much I proved my worth and received recognition, my thoughts did not change much. Princess Rachel is so much more to me than anything else, and she is an infinitely beautiful and lovely person. “I feel that way even more now, as I face the princess like this.”
“Then why… … “Why on earth are you saying that?”
And all I could get out was a question.
―Not a denial, but a question.
If I look as beautiful and lovely as he said, wouldn’t it be okay if he wanted to have me himself?
And I, not anyone else, expressed my feelings to him first.
She even put down her supreme status as a princess and said that she would give me and have me.
Our last meeting before we parted ways. It is no exaggeration to say that I really gave up everything at that time. Actually, I was thinking of giving my body as well.
But now we have a long-awaited reunion.
“… … .”
Without realizing it, a great regret arose in my heart.
If it was going to be like this, I wouldn’t have tried to meet you.
If I was going to get this answer, I wouldn’t have come to the Western Front… … .
It would have been better if it had been that way.
‘this… … ‘I wouldn’t have had to hear an answer I didn’t want to hear.’
It felt as if everything had lost meaning to me now.
“Princess Rachel.”
“… … why.”
Even as I answered, my body continued to feel weak.
The blurry vision became even blurrier and hazy. Without realizing it, I lowered my head.
Now it just felt like everything was over.
And it suddenly occurred to me how ugly I must be showing up right now.
I felt stupid.
I felt stupid.
And it was miserable.
I was worried about him and cared about him from a long time ago, so I took such a long step to come here.
Despite opposition from the imperial family.
By using the charm trait, which I had been cautious about before, my influence within the imperial family has increased beyond comparison.
My ‘clique’ was formed.
A faction caused only by me.
People who recognized my value started saying my name one by one.
‘… … ‘Why did I come here?’
A thick breath escaped from the corner of my mouth.
My hands were shaking without realizing it.
Now it was different from the first time.
It was really very different.
When he first rejected me and told me he couldn’t accept me, even though I was shocked, I understood.
Various situations he had.
And he rejected me because he was embarrassed.
“… … Lady. “Princess Rachel?”
Suddenly, I was awakened from my thoughts by a voice calling me repeatedly.
“ha… .”
With a deep sigh, I unconsciously wiped my eyes. It was damp. And I couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that I was already crying.
“Well, I haven’t given you an answer yet.”
A blank laugh kept coming out of his embarrassed voice.
‘I already gave you the answer indirectly.’
How can people be so cruel?
Now, to the point where I wonder if he is the person I know, his attitude all feels cold.
Are you really trying to drive a nail into my heart like that when you see my disgrace right now? … .
It was a moment when I raised my head in a daze.
Slurp.
“… … !”
The hand that carefully caressed the area around my eyes took my breath away for a moment. And just like that, my body stiffened.
The person who was supposed to be facing me was no longer in front of me.
It was right next to me.
You’re going to reject me,
By lowering myself like that,
Why are you coming next to me now and wiping my eyes?
“… … “What is it?”
Even as he spoke, his voice was filled with tears.
Like a fool, I felt his touch was warm right now.
And it felt extremely soft.
… … The person who tries to reject me will be the last person to show me acceptance.
Even that small touch felt so great to me.
“I said such mean things… … Did you do it?”
A voice asks blankly. And, little by little, his figure appeared through the outlined vision.
A really embarrassed look.
And then he carefully caresses my cheek… … .
It couldn’t have been that different.
‘Why is this happening?’
If you were going to reject me, you could have just rejected me on the spot.
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Why do you have to act like this?
It really only makes it harder for me.
“… … .”
I opened my mouth to speak, but then I closed my mouth again in a daze.
Sreuk.
And then I gently placed my hand on top of the hand that was cupping my cheek. He held her hand tightly and absentmindedly looked into his eyes.
He faced me with a very cautious expression, but endless negative thoughts filled my mind.
‘… … no.’
I really hated it.
Even at the moment of rejecting me, he approached me like this and let his guard down, and I hated him so much that I just couldn’t give up like this.
As if a strange resonance were ringing in my head, the moment I tried to develop fascination… … .
“Even if it’s like this, will the princess accept it?”
Tuk.
I blinked my eyes blankly without realizing it at the kind words that rang out.
“… … yes?”
“I asked if the princess would accept me, even though I have such shortcomings. I will not answer that I have this beautiful you or that I accept your heart. On the other hand, I want to hear the answer as to whether the princess would accept me like this.”
At the words that followed, I couldn’t believe my ears for a moment.
And as if my head, which had been filled with darkness, suddenly became brighter, a strange light seemed to explode.
“that… … No, that means… … “Are you confessing now?”
And even in the midst of interrupted thoughts, I managed to put words together and ask. He smiled softly and nodded his head.
“yes. I am now confessing to the princess. “I want to hear the answer to whether the princess would accept me like this.”
I opened my mouth and couldn’t say anything for a moment due to the immediate response without the slightest hesitation.
anything… … .
Something was completely different.
And then I realized that I was very mistaken.
“Joe, it’s good.”
Even as I answered in a daze, I couldn’t think of anything else.
“thank you. Princess.”
That face smiling softly, as if that was enough for my answer, is even more unfamiliar.
… … It was different.
His current smile looked completely different from the way he smiled at me before.
Slurp.
And as his hand gently caressed my cheek, heat rose to my face without me knowing.
‘ah.’
I am… … Was I thinking wrong?
From the beginning, I thought he was laying the groundwork to reject me in his speaking style and in the various words that followed. From the moment he compared his position with mine.
We can’t be together.
It’s impossible because the difference in status is too great.
You can’t accept my feelings… … .
So, he rejects me. Of course I thought so.
Considering his personality, I thought he would give that kind of answer.
But that wasn’t it.
“I think I said something wrong. I didn’t know you would be so hurt by my words. I should have expressed my feelings more directly… … “I think her beautiful face has been ruined because of me.”
Slurp.
His voice as he spoke while gently caressing my cheek was truly extremely soft.
And that’s why, like a fool, I was very sad and then felt happy.
‘… … What about me?’
What did I do?
He didn’t reject me, he was just trying to express his feelings very carefully.
Then, my face suddenly got hot, and I couldn’t say anything.
Slurp.
I just accept his gentle hand caressing my cheek.
Somehow, I fell into a huge delusion from his words,
crying alone,
I thought I was rejected alone,
I was so hurt like a fool that I was alone.
Anywhere is fine right now, so I just wanted to hide.
“Princess Rachel?”
“I’m sorry… … Joe, give me some time to compose myself. Me now… … “I feel so embarrassed that I feel like I’m going to die.”
Shame and embarrassment.
And I was completely embarrassed that I had shown such great indecency in front of my beloved lover, and that now I was delighted by his touch.
“You look so lovely right now, don’t you?”
“… … No, don’t make fun of me.”
I said blankly and lowered my head without realizing it.
But, as for my hand, which is now overlapped with his hand that is covering my cheek… … I didn’t want to separate it.
at las.
Because I am finally in a relationship.
Even though I felt shame like no other since I was born, this moment was more precious to me.
I hope this isn’t a dream… … .
Sreuk.
Instead, I held his hand even stronger.
“Are we lovers now?”
And I inadvertently wanted to check.
“yes. If Princess Rachel likes me. I will always be your lover.”
His sweet-sounding voice made my face heat up again.
“My heart… … “Don’t bother saying things like that when you know everything.”
That’s more than he likes me now,
Even if I hold on to a small amount of love for him, it will be several times greater.