Became an Academy Spearman - Chapter 807
807. [Western Front] – What only I can do (83)
***
Slurp.
As I slowly lowered my head, I felt a sense of guilt, as if I had committed a crime.
however. That hesitation was short-lived.
‘Don’t hesitate.’
If you decide to do it, you should do it. If Ensign Sabrina can wake up, there will be a price to pay for this, whatever it may be.
“… … .”
I cupped Lieutenant Sabrina’s face, who seemed to be sleeping soundly, with one hand and pressed her lips to mine.
side.
As I kissed the unconscious Lieutenant Sabrina, I tried to erase all my thoughts. It’s as if she’s in a fighting stance and her mind is solely focused on the fight.
I thought that what I was doing now was also like that.
I’m not doing this out of selfish interest.
Even if they tell you everything later and teach you what to do now, you have to do it unconditionally.
A slight possibility.
It doesn’t matter if it’s just an accident.
After gently kissing him, he opened his mouth and carefully killed his heart.
“… … .”
He is kissing a woman who is not his lover. And through my mouth, my saliva is flowing little by little into her mouth.
Even though I had never behaved like this, even with a lover, I struggled to suppress my shame and continued the behavior.
‘I don’t know when Lieutenant Neril will arrive.’
So, more… … I had to do as much as I could.
If my saliva is really that effective as Ariya assured, it will be able to give Ensign Sabrina at least a little stimulation.
… … .
Saliva continues to drip out of the open mouth.
And even as I felt it slowly enter Ensign Sabrina’s mouth, my whole body felt tense.
An unfamiliar kind of guilt that I felt for the first time tightened my heart.
No matter how hard I tried to pull myself together, I couldn’t feel at ease because I had a strong feeling that I was doing something I couldn’t do to the unconscious Lieutenant Sabrina.
Sreuk!
However, I held my other hand tightly and tried to suppress the desire to move my head away.
‘sun.’
It wasn’t something I should do, it was something I had to do.
Although others may not understand, I could have done this dozens of times if I could make Lieutenant Sabrina conscious.
If only she could regain consciousness and lead a normal life. She thought that this level of behavior was really nothing.
“Hmm.”
At the same time, he became increasingly dazed and his eyes lost focus.
And before I knew it, I was recalling a completely different memory. The moment when I was sealed by the clones of the past nine apostles.
… … When I was alone and isolated in waves of terrible darkness.
I could only look at Eustea’s memories as if I was floating on a vast ocean. But even thinking about it now… … I thought it was a miracle.
‘I don’t know what state unconsciousness is like.’
I was able to calm my mind by looking at the memory of Eustea and the unknown enemy called the Apostle of the Beginning.
In the midst of this feeling of extreme loneliness and solitude, I was able to at least figure out what to do and gather my thoughts. Because I was able to see the memories that Eustea showed me as the path forward for me.
The absolute will he showed.
As I watched his spear technique that seemed to reproduce the intangible will of indomitability with almost mythical power, I realized several things.
however.
Ensign Sabrina is now… … He might not have been either.
I might have just been sleeping alone, in a state of loneliness, with a transparent consciousness.
And that’s why it was important.
‘External stimulation.’
A little helping hand. Or the fact that someone is trying to help me.
It didn’t matter what it was.
With Ariya’s help, I was able to break free from the apostle’s seal, like cracking an egg and awakening. The emotion I felt at that time was simply gratitude, endless gratitude.
I just… … That I wasn’t alone.
The relief that comes from knowing that someone was so willing to help me.
In that sense, I wanted to be that kind of strength to Lieutenant Sabrina, who said she had a different story.
“ha… … .”
As saliva continued to flow, my breathing became increasingly difficult.
This was my first time doing something like this, so it wasn’t easy to breathe out or maintain this posture. But I didn’t want to give up.
‘I told you to believe it.’
Everyone told me that. If you trust Ensign Sabrina and wait, she will definitely wake up.
I didn’t think that their thoughts and beliefs were wrong. Because there’s nothing else we can do.
But now I have a different ‘number’.
‘Yes, I am different.’
Gulp.
I tried to swallow my saliva unconsciously, but finally stopped.
As I struggled to swallow the saliva that flowed out of my mouth, I regained my composure a little.
‘You don’t have to just trust and wait.’
I have a way to do it. This is not an absurd idea, and there is even a solid basis in Ariya’s words. Then you have to put it into action.
Shame of this moment.
The guilt of this moment.
Putting all that aside for a moment, if you can help, even if you can just give a small helping hand, that’s enough.
Maybe my actions now would mean nothing in the end, but I didn’t care.
“… … .”
The saliva flowing down my lips in a daze now felt sticky.
It felt a little unnatural to keep my mouth open, and this ritual to let the saliva flow was a bit mind-boggling. Strangely enough, a small smile escaped my heart.
-For whom are my actions now?
I felt at ease just because there was a clear answer to that thought.
ㅡChoi Seon.
As long as I did the best I could, that was enough.
However, my consciousness was now extremely focused near the door.
… … Some time has already passed since Lieutenant Neril left his bed.
It wouldn’t be surprising if Lieutenant Neril came back at some point, and the worst misunderstanding could lead to a bad situation. So, I also had to think about getting myself together.
‘It might not work once.’
Maybe do this every day. I might have to repeat this until Ensign Sabrina wakes up.
Then I had to be more careful.
And soon after, when I felt a figure approaching near the door of the infirmary, I quickly pulled my head away and collected myself.
Chureup.
Finally, I pressed my lips together hard to add saliva and straightened the appearance of Ensign Sabrina.
And that was the moment when I put my clothes on and took off my body.
Crash.
“… … ah.”
When I opened the door and saw Lieutenant Neril pause, I felt like my heart was going to drop.
‘why… … Are you stopping?’
I definitely did my best.
Lieutenant Sabrina’s appearance, and my current appearance, will definitely come together properly and there will not be any major changes. But why is Lieutenant Neril so surprised?
“Lieutenant Han Tiansheng. “Are you really tired right now?”
“yes… … ?”
“No, it’s because my face is red. And the reason his eyes are a little blank is because his complexion looks very bad.”
At the words that followed, I unconsciously touched my face. And then, with an effort, he twisted his expression and smiled.
“… … Ahaha. I just feel a little tired. Thank you for taking the time to leave. “Then I’ll just head back.”
“yes. Let’s go back and get some rest. “It’s okay to worry like this, but you also have to take care of your own body, right?”
“sure. “I will take more care of my body.”
From noble mtl dot com
Tuk.
Lieutenant Neril gently patted my shoulder and gently moved out of the way, so I was able to leave the infirmary.
Crash.
Even as I very carefully closed the door, my heart was pounding like it was going to burst.
“… … .”
I felt dizzy.
I felt like my entire body, not just my head but my heart, was losing strength.
An indescribable feeling filled my heart, including the feeling of guilt that my actions were almost caught, or that I kept kissing Ensign Sabrina’s lips.
But that wasn’t the biggest problem.
“This… … .”
I have to do it again tomorrow… … .
To be honest, I didn’t feel at peace.
Still, I was determined. That is, because I directly kissed it and poured my saliva into it.
But once I started, I knew I couldn’t stop this behavior.
‘A miracle… … It doesn’t happen easily.’
There was no miracle of Ensign Sabrina opening her eyes or regaining consciousness right away after receiving quite a bit of my saliva.
Sreuk!
I clenched my hands tightly and tried to straighten my shaking heart.
“… … let’s do it.”
He said it as if he was promising me, and there was no going back anymore.
Once you start, you have to see the end. Moreover, if you decide to lend a helping hand, you also have to be prepared to take responsibility until the end.
“Oh, you’re the youngest!”
My heart seemed to sink again at the sudden voice I heard.
I turned my head, and sure enough, it was different.
“Lieutenant Rune… … .”
“Did you come out to see Sabrina?”
Seeing Lieutenant Rune’s appearance under the sunset-colored hair, my heart was greatly shaken again.
“Yes, I am.”
Even though I nodded awkwardly, I felt very strange. I’ve barely kissed her when she’s in a contract relationship, but she’s kissed her for a lot longer with Ensign Sabrina, with whom she has no relationship.
“You are truly sincere. Is this really okay though? “I think the longer this goes on, the more difficult it will be for you.”
My lips were trembling for no reason as I saw her quickly approaching me.
“Because I am acting within what I can tolerate.
“I see. Oh, that… … Yes. “If the time is right, would you like to go to the terrace?”
The emotion in her eyes as she spoke softly seemed strangely large to me.
And I couldn’t refuse.
“Of course.”
“Thank you, youngest child.”
When I saw Lieutenant Rune really happy with my answer, I twitched my hand for no reason.