Became an American Retro Novelist - Chapter 154



Only Noblemtl

154.

Kate Moore wore a mask that was nearly perfect.

“Oh, really? I’ll definitely go next time! Thank you for the recommendation.”

Where did his sullen attitude in front of me go? He perfectly played the role of a beloved freshman, smiling brightly among his club mates.

When I entered college, I changed my appearance and image, so the male upperclassmen were always around to make me laugh or help me out, and the female upperclassmen just thought I was cute.

As I was watching the scene from time to time, a senior student came up to me.

“Hello, you said you were coming today······.”

“Oh, it’s Shin Han. Just order whatever you want.”

While answering appropriately and moving the luggage that was entrusted to me, I continued to secretly watch Kate.

If I were to express it in words alone, it would seem like it was an action with some sinister intentions, but it was ultimately just something done for the sake of writing a new work.

In such a friendly atmosphere, the social service club went out to do volunteer work at a nearby daycare center.

“Come on, let’s all work hard and rest!”

“yes!”

“Cheer up today too!”

As if it was a scene from a campus drama, we got into a good mood and the twelve club members, including me, split up into our respective roles and started helping out at the daycare center.

From laundry and cleaning, to helping with cooking and playing with the kids.

I was in charge of laundry and got some work done.

‘Somehow, it feels very college-like.’

It’s just an activity to add a line to your resume.

Kate said so, but even if that were true, it was a great thing. Who would come out and do such a good thing as volunteering at a daycare center during college when they are busy studying and playing?

Kate herself was actually doing her best.

I finished my laundry and went outside to hang the clothes out in the sun. Then I happened to spot Kate Moore playing with the kids in the nursery.

To be exact, she is wearing bizarre makeup like the Joker from Batman.

Taking off the glasses, the skin was literally painted ‘white’.

Bright red lips and dark black eye makeup.

“······.”

“······.”

Our eyes met.

Oh my, I’ll dream about you.

“Sister! Sister! Your makeup is really pretty!”

“Oh, thank you~.”

Kate laughed along with the girl in front of her, who was holding a crayon and smiling brightly.

I thought desperately.

‘Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh.’

“······hey.”

“Phuhu!”

I couldn’t stand it.

Kate Moore glared at me with her eyes wide open, and I couldn’t help but blurt out, “Why so serious?” so I hurriedly left.

***

Kate Moore declared.

‘Seriously, I really, really hate that guy!’

It was talking about God.

‘Is that the original guy? Huh? Was he originally like that?!’

As Kate began to learn more about the guy she didn’t know much about in high school, the quiet anger in her heart began to burn brighter and brighter.

What was most frustrating of all was that sly attitude.

I couldn’t explain it in detail, but for some reason, I felt like I was ‘losing’ whenever I talked to him.

And what Kate Moore hated more than anything was losing.

Among them, complete defeat in a state where one cannot fully express one’s feelings.

The more I got involved with God, the more often this happened.

It was the same today too.

“I have a different opinion.”

This happened in my Social Psychology 1 class.

Usually, auditors would just listen quietly, but God was different.

He actively participated in class and expressed his opinions, and whenever he did, the professor listened to him carefully. He was one of the few Asian students in class, and the professor seemed to be fond of him because he always gave sharp opinions.

The problem was that today of all days, I was opposing Kate’s opinion.

[How can we change others?]

Kate heard several opinions about the topic the professor raised in class today.

Someone said, why don’t you just let them know that you are truly at fault?

Someone else said that giving material rewards would suffice.

Amidst the conflict between emotions and material things, Kate, who had finished her worries, began to think that it was time to give her opinion.

She usually listened to class relatively quietly, but when the professor raised a topic and led a discussion, she did not hesitate to speak up if she thought her argument could become mainstream.

So Kate said,

“I don’t think you can truly change others. Change is a matter of personal will. I think you can induce it, but I don’t think you can make a decisive contribution.”

An opinion that defeats the point of debate while at the same time being acceptable to everyone.

Kate often showed her sharp side while pretending to be innocent, trying to impress upon her classmates that she was not someone to be taken lightly.

But at that very moment, God raised his hand.

There are other opinions.

“Oh, God. What is it?”

As usual, the professor looked back with a smile. This was because at such times, God always gave interesting opinions.

Kate wiggled her eyebrows once, and her classmates sitting next to her muttered as they looked at the god.

“I heard he’s the novelist ‘SEEN’?”

“Oh, really? You really are an Asian.”

A look of curiosity.

And Kate’s hateful(?) gaze.

Amidst all the pouring gazes, God spoke nonchalantly.

“Isn’t there a good method called brainwashing?”

In an instant, the classroom was filled with laughter.

“Poohahahahaha!!”

“What is he talking about?!”

Everyone laughed out loud at the sight of God presenting such ridiculous opinions.

But even in the midst of all this, Kate noticed the expression on the social psychology professor’s face was hard and sensed something ominous.

“Brainwash. So, how?”

Everyone was silent at the short and serious question the professor asked.

Because it meant that he took God’s opinion with interest this time too.

“I can’t say, ‘Isn’t there some kind of brainwashing tool being developed by the CIA?’”

God lightened the mood by throwing in another light joke and continued speaking.

‘Oh, I really hate it!’

Kate hated him for naturally dominating the crowd like that. It was something she had to do with a lot of effort, choosing the right words and timing.

But she couldn’t help but focus on the explanation that followed.

God said this.

For example, isn’t there religion?

And from there, it was expanded and explained as the concept of social brainwashing.

For example, if dozens, hundreds, or even all members of society say the same thing, wouldn’t we believe it as right and follow it?

The professor, after hearing his opinion, nodded, saying that if group control were possible according to someone’s intention, something truly scary could happen.

But Kate tilted her head, not convinced.

‘Do all members of society say the same thing to one person?’

I wondered what on earth he was talking about.

Are you a candidate who has been criticized in public? But have you ever seen such people bend their opinions out of hand?

For a moment she thought of a counterargument, and then she raised her hand without realizing it.

“No, they are acting under the pretext of ‘political promises’ rather than ‘themselves’. So it cannot be considered a proper counter-example. I was talking about a methodology for changing one’s ego according to the proposed thesis.”

But as soon as he brought up the example of an election candidate, God struck back.

And unlike when there were just the two of them, he continued his explanation in a very serious tone.

“Think about it. Even if it’s not something that everyone actually hears the same thing about, isn’t it something that happens more often in smaller groups? For example, a child who has grown up following the expectations of their parents since they were young. It’s something that happens when the ego isn’t fully formed, so I don’t think I can use it as the basis for my argument, but it’s something similar.”

The god said that and smiled meaningfully.

The friends next to me started muttering again.

“Wow, I’m convinced by his opinion.”

“Brainwashing. Simple and clear. Why didn’t I think of that?”

“I heard he got first place in his department this time.”

“I guess writers are different after all~.”

“······Huh huh.”

Kate smiled with interest as she watched the whole situation unfold.

And I thought to myself.

‘I wish I got hit by a car. Oh, and ‘About T’ is over.’

You were at the top of your class throughout high school, you dated the cheerleading captain who was overwhelmingly popular and was the prom queen, you’re doing well as a novelist, and you’re just taking classes in college and having fun. You never miss being the top student in your department, and now you’re hanging around doing interviews because you’re trying to write a new book?

‘This bad guy!’

For a moment, the blood rushed to the top of her head, but Kate calmly controlled herself by sweeping the hinges of her rimless glasses with her open palms.

Yes, he must have had his own hell. He must have been studying hard without sleeping properly. It was an absurd achievement that could never have been achieved without that.

And when I asked, “Is that so?” during a meeting after class, Shin tilted his head and answered like this.

“No, I sleep really well······.”

Kate recalled getting her driver’s license a little later than her peers, saying she wanted to focus on her studies.

I wanted to cheer him up myself.

***

Kate Moore was the epitome of a ‘hard-working college student’.

I feel like I’m one of the few people who will graduate from school in four years.

If I had to speak metaphorically, I would say she’s like Hermione.

As a Stanford University student, where admission is difficult and graduation is even more difficult, she balanced her studies with extracurricular activities, various study programs, competition programs, and club activities.

And in fact, that’s what most students at Stanford do.

Even during the busy times, parties were held quite frequently, and most of those who attended would drink moderately and then return to their rooms.

In fact, I’ve seen more than a few instances of John Smith returning from a party drunk only to sit down at his desk, unable to rest, to draft an assignment that’s due the following week.

When I asked why, this was the answer I got.

“I have to work hard. I finally got into a good university. Thanks!”

A guy who worked hard on his report while hiccups.

As someone who doesn’t give my all in college life to that extent, I felt a strange sense of unease seeing those students.

When I thought about it, it seemed like everyone was living in an excessively rushed manner.

The problem was that no one was forcing it. The idea that you had to earn 180 credits to graduate, get decent grades, and participate in a wide range of activities to get a good job was the dominant idea.

In Kate’s case, she just recognized it more clearly, but in fact, everyone else did the same.

They are talented people who are second to none in terms of intelligence, but it seems like their goal of learning and becoming better versions of themselves has been put on the back burner.

I started to translate the sense of foreboding I felt as I watched the actions of several college students, starting with Kate, into words in my head.

‘Everyone looks anxious. Just like many people in the future.’

Am I doing well right now?

I wonder if I can do well in the future.

Those who are driven into endless competition and cannot find their own happiness, and whose heads are filled with such brainwashing thoughts, only repeat the same tasks.

‘Now I see that American universities have the makings of a dystopia.’

As children grow into adults, this intangible pressure becomes more severe as they enter the future.

‘Because the comparison target expands wider and higher.’

People compare themselves to each other through the Internet, a large-scale, irregular discourse space, and, with the resulting sense of superiority or inferiority, disparage each other. As they become consumed by the resulting distrust and frustration, they gradually close their hearts.

As a result, the immature self-consciousness could only continue through reliance on idols or illusions.

‘If there was no one to rely on, more people would have committed suicide.’

But even so, in the end, they are cornered and die from the arrows of those who do not understand reliance.

Whether in the past or the future, society has continued to push people to extremes, with only the degree varying.

As if they were being controlled by someone. As if that was the way humans were meant to be.

As I came to terms with that realization, I felt the puzzle pieces that had been scattered in my head begin to fall into place.

A competitive society that forces us to endlessly compare ourselves to one another.

On the great track of life, those who fail to reach a certain level at a certain time are eliminated.

Those who are eliminated in this way have their thoughts castrated by the grand discourse that society must run happily, and live as cogs in the wheel.

Only then could I come up with a title.

***

December 17, 1984.

A long-awaited smile appeared on the face of Simon Carver, a reporter for Torrance New Media.

It was the first time in a long time that I met the new writer, who had left Los Angeles for his studies.

Since he started this job, Simon has realized every day that he really loves novels and enjoys interacting with writers more than anyone else.

That’s why I couldn’t hide my sadness inside when the days when I couldn’t meet God because of business problems became longer. It was really good that he was working for a better company, but I had a personal attachment to him.

Shin was the most successful writer he had discovered, and he was also the one who wrote exactly to his taste. In fact, there was almost no novel that Simon did not like, but it was definitely proven through several years of work that he found Shin’s work the most enjoyable.

Sometimes I thought about contacting him separately, but unless it was work-related, I suppressed my feelings for fear of being a bother to a student who was studying hard at university. Days passed by with that feeling for months.

And finally, the first fall semester of college came to an end, and the day of the promised meeting arrived.

It was a meeting to talk about the single volume of ‘About T’ that he had worked on at the request of Julia, but Simon was more interested in the salad than the main dish. He was curious about how he had been doing, what he had been thinking about while writing his recent work, whether he was writing a new work, and if so, what it was about.

It’s been a long time since Simon visited a cafe in Koreatown.

The two people greeted each other with bright smiles as if they were reminiscing about the past.

“Author~!”

“Simon, it’s been a while.”

“How have you been! Oh my! How long has it been!”

“I’ve always been fine. But it’s definitely different now that I’m studying in college. How about you? Are Remina and Hugo still the same? You’re not getting cursed at because of me, are you?”

“Hahaha! I figured it out!”

“method?”

“Sometimes when the boss comes to visit and starts complaining, I just imagine the author’s novel and it’ll be fine!”

“······I’m sorry.”

He was a god who apologized even though he had done nothing wrong.

Shin, who had set down his large backpack, befitting a college student, had a conversation with Simon about the past, and only then was he able to hear about the publication date of the book, which had been confirmed a while ago.

It was decided that the pilot episode of ‘About T’, which was almost finished being dramatized, would be aired exactly at the same time as the airing of the entire California. Shin nodded, saying that it was an acceptable schedule, as he was scheduled to attend an internal screening held at the broadcast station a few days later.

I was even more excited because I heard that Alexa was going to be participating in a fairly significant role among the extras.

“We’ve secured enough printing facilities to print the first edition! I’m excited to see how many copies will sell!”

“It has always exceeded our expectations. We are overwhelmed by the love our readers have shown us.”

“That’s because the author writes such good works. This one is no exception. It’s lovely and fun. Oh, I also enjoyed the story about the cheerleader girl and the nerd boy that started serializing a while ago. ‘About T: Reversal’. It was a great title that exquisitely represented the relationship that reversed the previous work and the positions of the two characters. How did you manage to write something like that while studying for school?”

“Still, compared to other people, I live a pretty relaxed life. That’s why.”

As a god who knew from years of experience that it was necessary to quickly cut off a string of compliments when talking to Simon, he took out a thick envelope from his backpack and handed it to him.

Simon’s eyes widened like a bear discovering a delicious pot of honey.

“Okay, author, what is this······?”

“Simon, would you be able to spare some time to work on a single volume? And also find a publisher?”

God explained to Simon, whose mouth was open, step by step about the novel he had been writing while attending school.

SF, dystopian.

30,000 words.

After putting it out on the market and seeing the response, I plan to write additional short stories for the contest.

The title was this.

“Country of losers.”

A land of losers.

End

(154)