Black Badger - Chapter 347



Only Noblemtl

347. Sasha (3)

It would be a lie if I said I never had a single defeat.

Of course, Seunghyun also experienced defeat. When he was young, it was frequent, and as he got older, it became rare. After his second growth phase, he rarely lost, but he was not invincible.

But every time I lost, I saw the top.

This way, I could see that if I tried again, I would win.

So, I would fill in the missing parts and then win.

This time, I couldn’t even tell which direction the summit was.

Seunghyun was shocked and pushed the ground with his arms.

Then I saw a man standing alone in the wide training ground.

The man was rubbing his neck.

He glanced at the soldiers lying on the ground and made a “hmm.”

“You’ve really gathered some pretty solid guys.”

quite?

Those including Seunghyun opened their mouths in shock.

They are all people who have been called monsters by those around them.

It was the first time he heard a simple comment like, ‘It has quite a lot of substance.’

“If you train them, some of them could really be useful.”

How many people?

Is it worth using?

“Let’s see what your limits are.”

The man took off his outerwear and threw it into a corner.

After putting on short sleeves, he took out a hair tie from his trouser pocket and tied his long hair into a ponytail.

A face that shows neither passion nor excitement.

Someone shouted and rushed at the white-haired man, perhaps feeling insulted by the series of actions of tying up his hair with a cool expression.

Seunghyun watched the man calmly move his body.

What scared Seunghyun was that he neither looked surprised nor amused.

The author thought it was only natural that those who had been knocked down would get up and run again.

He said he would have been disappointed if he hadn’t come at me again.

What a disappointment.

Seunghyun, shocked, jumped up from his seat.

And I tried not to acknowledge the feeling of defeat that I was feeling for the first time, and I ran towards the man like a squirrel.

***

On the second day of training, two people did not come to the training ground.

The man who had beaten the soldiers so mercilessly that it reminded him of the time he had been beaten by the vice-principal of the daycare center wasn’t surprised to see the empty space.

A man whose name was Hildebert.

He looked at the empty space and spoke coolly.

“It’s broken.”

It was a tone that suggested that he had seen many of these types of people.

“It’s not bad to give up at the beginning. It takes courage to clearly know your limits and give up.”

Seunghyun knew very well the context in which he was saying this.

That was the thought he had every time he saw people who lacked talent.

“You may find your way somewhere else.”

But you say this while looking at them?

“Don’t be too frustrated if you feel limited here.”

Looking at them who were selected from each country based on their skills?

“Everyone has their own innate talent. For example, I have no talent at all in drawing.”

What do you mean?

Everyone looked at Hildebert blankly.

But Hildebert seemed oblivious to the venom and vengeance seeping from the soldiers’ bodies.

It seemed as if he didn’t even realize that he was trampling on their pride.

“Anyway, shall we start today?”

This time I’m going to smack him in the face and stop him.

I let my guard down the first day, but today is different.

Everyone prepared to rush towards the man in front of them with the same determination.

That day too, I got hit without any power.

***

That period was the brightest time in Lee Seung-hyun’s life.

There was Sasha and there was Hilde.

Although we were not rich, we did not go hungry and had a place to sleep without being guarded.

Seunghyun thought that he didn’t need anything else.

I wish life could just go on like this.

He loved Sasha and admired Hilde.

Hildebert was the first truly teacher-like teacher that Seunghyun Lee met.

Outstanding skills and unwavering composure.

A distant being that remembers the characteristics of each and every one of the idiots and responds accordingly.

Lee Seung-hyun knew very well that he would never be able to shine as brightly as he did, but he wanted to at least reach his level in terms of skill.

It’s a strange feeling to adore someone.

A mysterious feeling different from love.

Oh, Seunghyun married Sasha.

It was a more shabby proposal than others.

Still, I did it as a surprise. After suggesting that we take a picture in front of the Christmas tree, I left my phone on the tripod with the timer set and returned. While Sasha was posing for the camera without any sense of humor, I turned around and got down on one knee.

Sasha looked back at herself after the flash.

Lee Seung-hyun remembered her eyes growing incredibly wide.

I also remember her looking down at me blankly, then starting to jump up and down in the air.

Sasha, who was jumping up and down without being able to speak, soon collapsed into his arms.

“good!”

Sasha, in my arms, laughed and cried.

“i love it!”

I have to protect you for the rest of my life.

It’s a cliché, but that’s what Seunghyun thought.

Even if something happens to Sasha, even if her heart changes and she starts to despise him, he won’t care and will protect her forever.

Seunghyun made a promise, running his gnarled hands through his thin brown hair.

It will allow you to sleep peacefully for a long time.

No matter what happens….

***

Sasha had a child.

The baby didn’t give the mother much trouble during pregnancy.

But as the due date approached, Seunghyun became more scared than ever.

Have you ever been this scared in your life?

Seunghyun was by Sasha’s side to the point where Sasha had a hard time telling him that she really needed some time alone.

We had this conversation as our due date approached.

“If any problem arises, the mother will be given priority unconditionally.”

Sasha opened her eyes wide.

Seunghyun looked straight at the person who was making an expression as if asking if he really had to say something like that.

“You are much more precious than an unborn child.”

“Don’t worry. We’ve been doing well so far without any major difficulties.”

“I know. I know it’ll happen that day. But I’m telling you this just in case.”

Sasha blinked and looked at him.

As I held her hand stubbornly, her bewildered expression disappeared after a moment and she smiled bitterly.

A smile filled with affection and sadness.

“Yeah. Okay, then.”

The woman who Seunghyun loved with all her life held Seunghyun’s hand and spoke.

“That won’t happen, but if you have to make that choice, then do it.”

***

The reality was exactly the opposite.

***

I don’t remember the time it collapsed.

I later heard that those who had trained with him indirectly helped him after hearing his story.

It must be thanks to them that he didn’t die. Seunghyun couldn’t remember how he ate or slept, how he went through all the procedures and returned home.

I couldn’t even understand why there was a newborn baby in my arms.

Who found a nanny for the child he brought back with him?

Why is Sasha’s ashes in a small container?

I didn’t even understand how I survived.

It will probably always be like that.

I will never understand or remember it.

***

I couldn’t love her just like that.

Even though I tried to love her only, the existence of the child was eventually connected to Sasha’s death. I don’t know how hard I tried to think of them separately. Sasha’s death is death, and the child is a child. Think rationally.

That couldn’t be done.

The presence of the newborn acted as a catalyst to stir his emotions.

Seunghyun’s feelings towards Yehyun were always extreme.

When I saw the child’s gentle eyes or gentle nature, sometimes my affection for the child would surge to a point where I couldn’t hold it back.

There were times when the child looked so cute that I momentarily forgot about Sasha’s death.

There were also times when the opposite was true.

Why is this here and not Sasha?

I wish I hadn’t had children.

If only things hadn’t been like that, everything would have been the same. Sasha had also told me to put her life first.

Why did you stay in the end?

When such thoughts came to mind and anger and desire rose, Seunghyun would hurriedly leave the place.

I was afraid that I would strangle the child while losing my mind.

I knew full well that my reaction was not normal.

But it is out of control… .

Will it get better if I get counseling?

But he didn’t have the money or time to seek counseling. Seung-hyun was always struggling financially because he had to pay for two nannies.

Will distancing make things better?

It didn’t get any better. The fact that the child resembled Sasha drove him even crazier.

Both positive and negative emotions were so intense.

Sasha wouldn’t want him to do this… .

But what good is her wish? She is already dead and no longer in this world.

Shouldn’t we cherish even the last piece she left behind?

But what good would that do? It’s not like she’ll come back.

Isn’t this completely crazy?

When he realized that, Seunghyun Lee decided to completely cut ties with the child.

Then, I thought that the emotions that tend to go to extremes every time I see my child would calm down a bit.

That would be good for the kid too.

There is no one more difficult to deal with than a fickle person.

It would be better if that kind of person didn’t exist around you.

Because children grow up without parents.

So, from that moment on, Seunghyun didn’t look back at the child.

I decided to think of the child at home as one of the many orphaned children I encountered at the daycare.

Then I won’t go crazy one day and kill my child.

“If you cry, give you formula or put you to sleep… You know better than me.”

A life of leaving your child with a nanny and never looking back.

Seunghyun spent six years like that.

***

It was only when I rolled up my sleeves and saw the child grabbing my own trouser leg that I realized what was happening.

Bruises covering his arms.

Crying that shows no signs of stopping.

Seunghyun knew these traces well.

He was a child who grew up in violence.

“wait.”

But why was the familiar violence so shocking all over again?

He was half out of his mind when he spoke while listening to Ye-Hyeon.

“Just wait a moment.”

Lee Seung-hyun ran to the hospital.

I ran down the street without even knowing that my leg, where I had surgery, was bursting.

***

Lee Seung-hyun lost his mind.

It was a life without a center. He approached the child while hating himself for neglecting the child. He watched the child closely and felt irrational anger. When he vented his anger that had nowhere to go as irritation, the child naturally became scared, and after the anger subsided, Seunghyun Lee regretted getting annoyed. And he thought. It was right to keep his distance.

Of course, there were times when I felt affection for the child.

A small creature that turns around when he calls it Yehyun.

When I hug her sometimes, she smiles faintly.

It was all a matter of his mental illness.

However, I didn’t have the money to get treatment and I didn’t know how.

I tried treatment several times, but it didn’t help.

So we lived lives that were not good for each other’s spirits.

still….

I was concerned that Ye-Hyeon would have a better life than the one she had growing up in the orphanage.

No more starving or being humiliated by others because of lack of money.

So that you don’t get hit and not be able to wake up the next day.

I didn’t raise my hand until the child started to rebel.

I started rebelling like crazy from the middle school days, and from then on I would occasionally raise my hand. I was able to control my strength enough to stand up.

Having grown up in a world of violence, he knew how much of a beating could leave a person unable to get up the next day.

Ah. But it would have been better if we had never met in the first place.

If I had been adopted by good parents when I was a newborn, I would have grown up much happier.

Lee Seung-hyun longed for the child to hate him comfortably so that they could be comfortable with each other.

Because he knew that no matter how much time passed, he would never be able to show pure love to his son.

She herself would go back to before she gave birth to Yehyun, if only she could choose.

So I will choose to live a life where I can live with Sasha for as long as possible.

“Relay… .”

But unfortunately, Ye-Hyeon craved his affection at every moment.

“I got first place.”

A plaque placed hesitantly on the table.

Lee Seung-hyun never learned how to react in times like this.

It was heartbreaking to realize the resemblance to Sasha.

Seunghyun stared at the award and pushed it aside.

“Eat dinner and go to sleep.”

I had to grit my teeth to avoid getting annoyed at the child.

Yehyun bowed her head and sat quietly at the table.

After eating in silence, he locked himself in his room as he had been told, but Seunghyun was shocked when he heard a small sob coming from the room.

Why are you crying?

You didn’t compliment me?

Why would you be stuck like that and cry over something like that?

[hey!]

Seunghyun, who had been roughly explaining what had happened so far, blinked at Hilde’s shout.

He squinted his eyes and listened to the voice coming from the other end of the phone.

[Are you calling that a word now?]

Hildebert, who had called himself right away, lost his temper at Core 15.

[As soon as you have time, come in front of me, you idiot!]