Having Reincarnated a Million Times I Won’t Let My Guard Down Even in a Peaceful World - Having Reincarnated a Million Times I Won’t Let My Guard Down Even in a Peaceful World chapter 36

36: The Dignity of the Elder

“Yeah, actually, I had a fight with my dad about my future plans… and I said I was going to Rex-kun’s house and ran away,” Anna said.

If I were living alone, this would be an exciting moment, but I live with my parents as usual, and Anna-san even showed me a paper bag, saying, “This is a souvenir for your aunt.”

Anna-san relied on me with the assumption that my parents were there.

Rather, it’s not that she relied on me, she relied on my mom.

That’s right… I’ve known Anna-san for a long time. And between me and Anna-san, there’s also a long relationship between me and Millim.

We used to play at my house regularly.

Naturally, my mom and Anna-san also developed a long relationship.

This was unexpected.

Childhood memories. Memories of playing with just the three of us. There were only me, Millim, and Anna-san… Snacks and juice were provided by my mom, and when Anna-san and Millim got tired of playing and fell asleep, it was my mom who carried them to bed.

For now, I contacted my mom on my mobile device.

“Can you suddenly go on a trip with your husband?”

“Why?”

I received a reply from my mom with unclear stamps attached, so I sent back an equally useless stamp and ignored the question.

Or rather, are they idiots?

After a message that seemed to imply kicking my mom out, are they saying, “Anna-san wants to stay at our place!”?

I want to be alone with her!

I do want to! Just a bit!!

I liked Anna-san.

When asked if I love her, I wouldn’t frankly express such proactive feelings, but if she confessed to me by some mistake, I’d be happy, something like that. If I were to express it in a beautiful way, it would become “admiration.”

But if I were called out on the night of the Saintess’s Birth Festival, I’d think something was up, right?

I was a little angry. This anger didn’t stem from expecting something and being ignored, it was more like, hey, what? It’s cold, you know. Instead of meeting outside, you could have come directly to my place; it’s cold, something like that.

“Yes, but… suddenly intruding into someone’s home is a bit… oh, yes. Suddenly contacting someone and saying such things, I wonder what I’m saying…”

Anna-san lowered her eyes while fiddling with her blonde hair.

Sigh… beautiful.

I took a photo of Anna-san’s profile and sent it to Milim.

“Are you two together? I wasn’t invited.”

I received an immediate reply.

Whenever I go somewhere, Milim always wants to come along… no, maybe this time, she’s dissatisfied because it seems like Anna-san and I are a set, and she’s not included.

Or maybe I was just flustered.

Calm down. Regain composure. It’s okay, I’m a 16-year-old who controls emotions with reason.

I contacted about letting Anna-san stay over.

I thought I contacted Mom, but I mistakenly sent it to Milim.

“It’s fine.”

Is it really okay?

What should I do? Despite trying to calm down and taking deep breaths of the cold air, I’m just panicking.

But as a 16-year-old who can objectively view himself, I observed my flustered self objectively.

From noble mtl dot net

Haha, it’s funny—having a 16-year-old boy in a panic in front of a woman on a holy night, if it weren’t me, it would be a charming or amusing sight, but unfortunately, it’s me.

So, I informed her. Anna-san, you can stay. It’s the Milim family’s offer.

“Eh? Why at Milim-chan’s house…?”

It’s my mistake, but I didn’t want to further embarrass myself, so I decided to change the subject.

We argued about our career paths—Anna-san, who had been walking a smooth path in life, why did she do something that would upset a grown-up’s mood… that was bothering me.

“I want to pursue a career in music, but my father wants me to take over his business.”

Well, it’s understandable that parents want their children to choose a stable path like being a doctor rather than a musician…

If I were Anna-san’s child, I would have happily followed Anna-dad’s plan.

I love having my life laid out for me. If I can live to a ripe old age just by obediently listening to what adults say without any individuality, it would be a dream come true.

However, I can understand Anna-san’s deep consideration.

While a life on the rails is fine as long as there are rails, if you haven’t laid out your own rails, you never know when they might collapse.

In other words, it’s risk management. If you’re not doing something outside of the rails, you won’t be able to survive when the rails disappear.

But well, even if I don’t do things like managing a hospital, as long as I have a doctor’s qualification, I have an image of being able to make a living more than a musician. Maybe it’s not about risk management, maybe I just want to pursue music normally… Anna-san has been enthusiastic about the piano since a long time ago.

“Rex-kun, what do you think?”

Me? I like being a civil servant.

If I were to answer like that, it’s visible that my trust from Anna-san will decrease, so I pondered.

However, I prefer stability, so I can’t quite understand Anna-san’s passion to pursue a musical path by sacrificing stability… It’s troubling. I seem to be more inclined towards Anna-papa’s side.

Or rather, if Anna-san won’t ride it, I want to ride that rail…

Damn, is there no way for me to ride on the rail laid out by Anna-papa… I pondered taking over the family estate.

Legally, the only way to take over the Anna family’s estate is to marry Anna-san, right?

Marriage… marrying Anna-san… Hmm, I want to. I want a beautiful older wife. Even without the family estate…

But while I advocate stability supremacy, I have an irreconcilable contradiction of not wanting to use Anna-san for that, no matter how stable it may be.

These two principles are like the unequal scales of a balance, and the desire not to use Anna-san is so heavy that it does not balance no matter what is added to the stability supremacy side.

Hmm, it’s troubling… We started walking through the holy night city covered in falling snow.

It’s troubling. I want to say something cool here and show Anna-san the path she should tread…

I’m sixteen, Anna-san is eighteen. However, I am a sixteen-year-old who has lived a million times. The number of years I’ve lived is not even a hundredth of Anna-san’s.

As an elder, I should say something clever… Hmm. We continue walking. I’m lost in thought, silent, and so is Anna-san.

As we move away from the bustling city, the only sounds reaching our ears are the distant clamor and the crunchy sound of stepping on snow.

Hmm… as I worry, we entered a residential area. Some of the brightly lit houses are adorned with elaborate illuminations. “They’re doing a good job,” I think with a half-smile as we pass by that house. By the way, it’s my house. Mama likes these kinds of things…

Hmm… as I worry, we arrived in front of a house with a slightly different design. The strangely spacious garden belonged to Millim’s house.

I pressed the intercom. When Millim answered, I said, “It’s me, it’s me.” There wasn’t really a significant reason for why I was doing this scam-like thing.

Or rather, without saying anything clever, I ended up at Millim’s house!

This is not just because of the physical body. It’s a bad habit engraved in my soul—when things get difficult, I seek “stagnation.” This is inseparable from my desire for stability.

“Not taking a gamble”—I think the policy itself is not wrong, but if you don’t take a gamble, there are times when you just stand still and remain silent, and because of that, there have been times when I’ve lost my life.

But it’s incurable—yes, but, I’ve lived a million and one times. If I don’t change now, when will I? Now is the time! My inner cram school teacher’s soul screams.

Anna-san—

“Oh, Rex-kun, thank you. …I’m really sorry for getting you involved. I’ll make it up to you someday.”

Is that so? I’m looking forward to it!

I decided to part ways with Anna-san by waving my hand. …No, not part ways! I haven’t said anything yet!