Having Reincarnated a Million Times I Won’t Let My Guard Down Even in a Peaceful World - Having Reincarnated a Million Times I Won’t Let My Guard Down Even in a Peaceful World chapter 40

40: Love and Society

“Rex, you’re really an idiot.”

What does it mean to be an “idiot”?

I believe that considering grades when questioning whether someone is an “idiot” or not is meaningless.

From noble mtl dot net

Honestly, studying at school is a matter of motivation.

Although I am at the top of my class, I don’t think my intelligence is superior compared to others.

What sets me apart is the enthusiasm to “fulfill my natural lifespan this time,” the conviction from the experience that it’s better to study (something that many people in this world are pursuing) in order to fulfill my natural lifespan, and the competitive spirit of “never losing to someone like Sheila.”

Therefore, if the word “idiot” is used to mean “low intelligence,” I believe that grades should not be considered. So even if I, as the top student, am treated as an idiot, I don’t find it strange.

However, it is also true that I feel dissatisfied when I am suddenly treated as an idiot.

I am particularly proud of the fact that I am the “top student,” and the moment I am called an idiot, the thought “Well, I am the top student” immediately crosses my mind. This suggests the possibility that I unconsciously associate good grades with being “smart.”

That’s not good, not good at all.

Well, I am at the top of my class, though.

Now, let’s consider the circumstances surrounding Martin calling me an idiot.

Why did Martin, who had worse grades than me and was not particularly liked by girls, treat me as an idiot?

The flow of the conversation was like this—Martin and the others didn’t come to the movie screening the other day. I asked him the reason for that.

Then Martin evaded the question and asked, “How was the movie with Sheila?”

Don’t answer a question with a question. What’s with the “instead of that”? You canceled at the last minute and now you’re acting all nonchalant—such words came to mind, but I am a 16-year-old who can perfectly control my emotions. I decided to answer his question kindly by just giving him a punch to the body.

I was studying at the cafe.

And then I was called an idiot.

“Rex, you…you don’t have anything other than studying, right? More like, this…”

It seems that Martin really didn’t want us to study.

So I put my arm around his shoulder and said this. You were studying too, right?

“No, I wasn’t.”

You should have been.

It’s a bit disappointing that he set a trap to take away our study time and didn’t study himself—I felt a slight disappointment.

When you trip up your opponent, you must also move forward with the same momentum.

However, Martin was satisfied with just tripping us up and didn’t take advantage of that momentum—we had our study time taken away, but he didn’t study himself.

In that case, the gap won’t close. If you seriously aim to be the top student—study.

“No, no, no… It’s not about aiming to be the top student… It’s, you know, what? What do you and Sheila have?”

I wasn’t good at this kind of “sensing” thing.

When approached with an attitude like “You understand, don’t you?” I couldn’t help but want to retort, “Understand? Yeah, right!” even though I knew that it would be better not to provoke a confrontation.

It’s the pressure to conform often exerted on social beings.

There’s this atmosphere as if there’s a “common understanding” and that “you must know it,” creating a sense of invisible common sense authority, and being treated authoritatively based on that, I felt more than anything else, sickened by it.

But sadly, there are many individuals who rely on this authority of common sense.

I believe it’s something that happens unconsciously, whether consciously or not—those who are authoritative don’t behave that way with malice. It’s just that they don’t even realize that they are being authoritative, and that’s why they end up being authoritative.

Martin and I are close friends, so we don’t hesitate to point out each other’s unconscious or conscious disclosures.

So I gently cautioned Martin. The current “sensing” attitude, in some cases, might lead to an armlock☆

Saying that, I reached my right hand toward Martin’s right hand. It was to put him in an armlock.

“Do you really not understand…?”

Martin took half a step back from me, but the emphasis in his “Do you really not understand?” was a bit high on the armlock scale, so I closed the distance by a step.

“No! I’m not making fun of you! I mean, how do you feel about Sheila?”

I expressed my honest feelings about Sheila. She’s definitely funny, pretending to be the representative of the external group. I mean, she was only in junior high—

“No, not that… damn, I don’t know if I can say this, so I can’t say more…”

It seems that Martin has some sort of taboo, and the awkward words just now were probably his best effort to avoid violating that taboo.

I am moved and I apologize. Sorry. I withdraw the armlock point.

Brainwashing.

Martin is being brainwashed in some way. And yet, he’s trying to bring me information… I see, his “sensing” attitude all the time was to avoid violating the prohibitions engraved in his brain due to brainwashing. I guess I’ll just have to sense that.

But I don’t understand… if he set a trap for me and Sheila, what’s the meaning beyond taking away our study time?

Me and Sheila… Do we have anything in common other than “good grades”… I don’t know. The reason he wanted to keep us away from studying as a pair…

“Rex, is there nothing in your life besides studying?”

Of course there is.

In addition to studying, I also do not neglect exercise.

I know well that “health is the essence of survival.”

And, I also knew that no matter how much of my armament was taken away, my physical strength would not be taken away.

That’s why I never neglect studying and muscle training. And, aware that the body is capital, I also paid attention to my diet.

Since I’m aiming to be self-sufficient, cooking is useful for that, and I’m also studying general housework in parallel. Now, I can fold three shirts at once in an instant… yeah, like magic.

“…”

Martin was at a loss for words.

Why did his gaze, I wonder, seem so gentle? He tilted his head and looked at me with affectionate eyes.

From noble mtl dot net

“Hey Rex, love is important, you know.”

Of course, I knew that. Well, maybe I should say that I recently realized it after living for sixteen years.

In this life, I can’t live alone—it’s a matter of functionality. Why do living beings belong to society? It’s because “living without society is difficult.”

If you try to live alone, taking care of food, cooking, eating, excreting, cleaning up waste, and doing various things… If you seriously think about “living alone,” life would just end by trying to survive.

Such a precarious life can end with a slight illness. In other words, mutual support is the basis of a more efficient life. And love is something “necessary to receive pleasant support from others.”

When Martin heard this perfect theory, he fell silent.

Then, he looked at me with a gaze filled with affection, patted my shoulder gently, and said:

“No, that’s not it.”

Martin didn’t say anything more.

I thought it must be a forbidden topic.