Having Reincarnated a Million Times I Won’t Let My Guard Down Even in a Peaceful World - Having Reincarnated a Million Times I Won’t Let My Guard Down Even in a Peaceful World chapter 52

52: If I Were to Call the First Woman I Met the Main Heroine

Admiration changes people.

For example, about eighteen years ago, I hated and doubted the whole world, and I believed that no matter what world I was born into, there were no allies other than enemies.

“The battle begins the moment you’re born.”

This phrase, which starts to seem like a metaphor the longer you live in this world, was my motto and my reality.

From the moment I was born, the race had begun, and “someone dying” was the only way to extend my own survival time, or so I seriously believed.

But there was a woman who changed that.

Mama.

It was clearly thanks to her that I, just a few minutes old, could think “There is someone in this world I can trust.”

Looking back, whenever I was troubled, she always gave me advice, without saying anything. My troubles were things I had to solve myself, but she gave me hints, and that was Mama.

In the winter of my eighteenth year, when my personal growth was stagnating and I had no hints for a breakthrough, Mama contacted me as if it were a revelation.

“When you go to university, will you live alone?”

From noble mtl dot net

Those were truly unexpected words, and I was at a loss for how to respond for a while.

Living alone.

Certainly, I’ve heard that many people start doing that when they enter university. I don’t know the exact number since I haven’t collected data, but it seems that there are some people in my class who are starting to live alone.

There are various reasons why people start living alone, but “distance” is probably the biggest motivation.

Simply put, the distance from home to university is far, and it’s not convenient to spend two or three hours commuting, so many people rent apartments near the university.

But the university I’m going to is a facility within the same campus that I have been attending since nursery school.

The house I currently live in is not far away—meaning, there shouldn’t be any particular reason for me to live alone…

“You’ve always been such a well-behaved child without going through a rebellious phase… But even so, I can’t help but feel like living with your parents is causing you some discomfort.”

I never felt any discomfort like that at all.

In fact, I wanted to live with my parents for the rest of my life.

Of course, once I become a working adult, I’ll have to contribute some money to the household. Well, maybe not with these parents. They don’t seem like they would demand that. But anyway, I want to live with my parents even if it means paying for it.

Because living alone means “living in a new house” and that comes with additional things to deal with.

Yes—the paperwork!

Rent, utilities!

Communication expenses!

And other miscellaneous costs!

In this world, everything is based on contracts, and if you don’t write your name on the document and stamp it, you can’t even drink water.

What I’m afraid of is this “contract.”

I have a wide range of knowledge and skills for “living,” including housework, frugality, and even survival, and I’ve put some of it into practice…

But I’ve never entered into a contract for things like water supply.

I was afraid of contracts.

It felt like a weight pressing down on me from the moment I put my stamp on it.

The system that says you can’t change it for two years, and if you do, you’ll be charged a penalty, also stresses me out.

And then there’s rent, contract renewals, and even—security deposits and key money!

There are way too many systems in this world that “divide and take money in various ways.”

I’m the type who feels like my lifespan is being shortened every time I pay money, so I really don’t like paying money for social infrastructure and insurance, even if it’s a small amount in terms of the total.

No, I’m sure I’ll have to pay them eventually if I keep living… But in my current position, being financially supported, my father takes care of those procedures as the head of the household.

As long as my father does it for me, I just have to pay the money he vaguely asks for without experiencing any stress like, “Wow… they’re taking this much from me…? Why…?”

Even though the amount doesn’t change, it feels somewhat better to pay my father than to be taken by something I don’t understand.

The number of procedures directly affects the damage to my lifespan.

I don’t want to incur damage to my lifespan.

Therefore, I don’t want to give up the position of living with my parents.

But…

… However, my mom’s voice has always been like divine inspiration.

The topic of me living alone should be brought up by my dad, who runs a cram school and earns a living, rather than by my mom, who is currently a full-time housewife.

Yet, when it was spoken by my mom, I felt something like a great will.

　Great will. Destiny.

　Destiny was, in essence, an enemy. It was controlled by an all-knowing, powerless entity that kept reincarnating me a million times.

　Destiny took away various things from me and continues to do so even now.

　And yet, I feel no animosity towards the destiny that was revealed to me through Mama.

　It’s strange… It has always been like this. Her voice brings me the courage to make bold decisions and a mysterious resonance that makes me believe in the kindness of “this world.”

　If Mama says so, then it must be something necessary for my future. That’s how it feels.

　I nod.

　Understood. I will live alone—

“Then let’s discuss the details with your father, the three of us.”

By the way—

After I talked to my father about living alone, he was completely surprised.

Apparently, Mama brought up the idea of living alone on her own whim.

That’s just how my Mama is…

Well, both my father and I ended up laughing and saying, “If Mama says so, then there’s no other choice.”

Our family is weak when it comes to our mother.