Having Reincarnated a Million Times I Won’t Let My Guard Down Even in a Peaceful World - Having Reincarnated a Million Times I Won’t Let My Guard Down Even in a Peaceful World chapter 56

56: Contract Completion, Renewal

To be honest, I can’t find “love” beautiful.

I want to die.

Completely, I want to die.

The “perfect death” where I won’t be reincarnated is my desire.

What should I do to achieve the “perfect death”?

“Living out a natural lifespan” is the only way―― that’s the proclamation from the so-called “God,” the “omniscient and omnipotent being.”

Each time I’m reincarnated, the omniscient and omnipotent being, who appears as “the appearance that I love most passionately at that time,” speaks in a sweet and gentle voice that melts my heart.

“I love you.”

Because of love, it keeps me alive.

Because of love, it makes me repeat life.

Because of love―― due to its pure desire to “let me experience a long and happy life,” it makes me redo my life over and over again, it says.

It seems like I saved her.

Of course, I have no awareness of that.

She seems to want to make me happy.

However, she doesn’t listen to any of my opinions.

She seems to only wish for my happiness.

But she doesn’t understand **people** at all.

There was a difference in perception between us due to the difference in existence.

And yet, even in such a situation, it is possible to love the other person.

Being constantly exposed to such a troublesome “love,” how can I think of “love” as something beautiful and noble? It’s impossible to think so—love is something selfish that is imposed without considering the circumstances here.

From noble mtl dot net

So, well, what?

That’s how it is, Milim-san.

“…What do you mean?”

It had been over half a year since the end of the trial period as lovers.

In the first place, the relationship between Milim and me was a promise of “until I graduate from high school.”

But after that, without parting ways or transitioning from the trial period to the actual usage period, our relationship continued aimlessly, without any particular event.

I am not the adventurous type.

That surely won’t change no matter how many times I am reincarnated.

However, now, I am being asked to make a decision—a decision to continue or to stop.

But this is not a question released from a desire to escape responsibility—of course, there may be a bit of such a despicable cowardly heart—but there was something that bothered me.

Is it okay for Milim?

First of all, was the decision-making power on my side?

“I don’t know.”

Eh…

“I thought it would be just right to date Rex because I was tired of being confessed to by guys…”

It seems she was confessed to by girls, or she confessed to them.

Milim told me about a side of her that I didn’t know.

The high popularity among the underclassmen (of course, Milim also had underclassmen. I was terribly surprised by that for some reason).

The many who approached her out of curiosity about the beast race.

There were also love affairs within the student council, and it was just annoying for Milim.

At that time, being my girlfriend was just right for her.

I am famous (huh?), and if it’s about Rex, he is recommended as the top person in the “people you shouldn’t go against” ranking, so when I say “Rex is my boyfriend,” most people tend to back off.

Wait.

Am I a famous person?

“……I was the student council president in middle and high school, so it’s impossible for me not to be famous…

With excellent grades (intelligence), the position of student council president (power), and a reputation for brawls with Martin (strength), I seemed to have left a sense of awe in the academy.

For me, who has lived by the motto ‘blend in’, this was a shocking revelation as if lightning had struck.

That’s a lie… How much effort do you think I put into not standing out?

Specifically… I really tried hard.

In other words, we were in a mutually beneficial romantic relationship.

It’s dry. And comfortable.

I don’t find ‘love’ enjoyable at all. I even think clear mutual interests are more preferable.

From lovers to marriage.

Surely, there are various dramas for different people.

It must be a bittersweet memory of youth. Like, sharing the story of how they met and such at the wedding.

I—

—Need that? I doubt it.

Mutual interests are great.

Being dry is the best.

It’s much more reliable than something vague like ‘love’.

My mind is made up.

Milim—

Continue, please.

“Can we be together forever?”

Yes, forever.

And like that, we officially became lovers.

It should have been a dry contractual relationship—

But both Milim and I couldn’t help but smile strangely.