Having Reincarnated a Million Times I Won’t Let My Guard Down Even in a Peaceful World - Having Reincarnated a Million Times I Won’t Let My Guard Down Even in a Peaceful World chapter 81

81: Words to Give

“I’ve been asked a lot about how high school life was.”

Graduation is imminent. The day for the third-year students to enter high school is approaching.

From noble mtl dot net

Going to a higher education institution inevitably means ‘leaving the familiar environment and being in a new environment’. It’s natural to feel anxious about it, and it’s also understandable that one would want to alleviate that anxiety if possible.

However, when asked about high school life by Alex, who is close to graduation, I had no words to answer.

Unease…

Unease…?

…I can’t remember at all the unease that I would have felt before high school life!

There’s no way I wouldn’t have felt it.

I have been reborn a million times – in other words, I have died a million times. I have lived with the awareness that there are “enemies” in the world, and I have lived with the conviction that those “enemies” will eventually take my life.

There’s no way I wouldn’t feel unease.

I desperately tried to remember. Something uneasy, something uneasy… but my middle school life was already about ten years ago.

Huh, seriously…? Ten years went by quickly, right? Well, even though it hasn’t been ten years since graduation from school, it feels like time flies subjectively. It feels like ten years, twenty years could pass in the blink of an eye.

It’s delightful.

If I can peacefully live my life without any disturbances and say, “Ah, life went by in a flash,” it would be the best.

But at the same time, I felt unease.

Of course, it was related to the “enemies,” and it was the thought that “Could it be that I have been brainwashed to perceive ten years as a short period of time?”

Ten years.

This was a length that couldn’t be ignored. For me, who has lived every day in fear for my life, it should have been the days that I could recall delicately when I closed my eyes.

And yet, the ten years in my memory are strangely vague, and only a few big topics come to mind sporadically, not even in chronological order.

This is strange – I have good memory. Rather, it would be more accurate to say that “I have diligently compensated for my bad memory.”

Certainly, compared to when I lived as an information terminal, this physical body is not suited for the act of “remembering,” but even so, it is unthinkable that I can’t remember the middle school days which should have been deeply memorable. Such a thing is impossible.

Even now, I’m being watched.

I remember feeling nervous after a long time – the “enemies” are everywhere. They are blending into my daily life, trying to turn me into a convenient existence.

To resist that, I can only live consciously.

…That’s right.

I will decide on the “things to be cautious about in high school” to tell Alec who is graduating.

Alec –

There is something watching you.

Be careful of it.

“Huh? W-What do you mean?”

I can’t explain it in detail. But you are being watched. It might not just be you, it might be all of humanity that is being watched.

They are observing every single one of your actions, and if you take any noticeable actions, their sinister hands will reach out to you immediately.

So – live in a way that cannot be criticized.

You can think whatever you want in your heart. Just on the surface, live as if you are obedient.

Be obedient, well-behaved, excellent, and live obediently.

If you do that, surely…

No, let’s avoid wishful thinking.

Anyway… Alex.

You are being watched.

Always, at all times…

“I-I understand… I’ll do my best in studying…”

Yes, that’s good.

As long as you are excellent, no matter what “enemies” you face, they won’t be able to touch you.

Until the day you obtain true freedom, please be excellent and obedient.

However, do not submit within your heart.

“It’s a difficult conversation, huh? But the words just now were like those of a teacher.”

I am indeed a teacher, so it’s natural for it to sound like a teacher’s advice, but… hmm…

I feel like something isn’t quite fitting together.

Leaving behind a subtle feeling of indigestion, Alex and the others graduate.

I strangely feel a sense of loneliness.

Even though many of them are only advancing to the higher grades within the same school, this feeling that subtly spreads in my heart is too strong to ignore.

…This is a bit of a necessity to reconsider my mindset.

Because even though I didn’t become their homeroom teacher, their graduation is really stirring up my emotions.

Starting from the next academic year, I will have my own class…

Will my heart be able to endure the graduation of those students I will be responsible for?

Considering once again that the heart is not logical at all and easily surpasses reason, maybe I should think about what it means to “become a homeroom teacher.”