He Is a Master Who Can’t Handle a Slave Properly - He Is a Master Who Can’t Handle a Slave Properly chapter 38

38 – Please, choose me.

The outing, which I thought would be long, ended in an instant.

If it was the way it was, if I’m right,

She picks out clothes for Mr. Felter and puts them on.

Show me the look and test me.

And then, well, I would have bought the other things I needed, and if I remember correctly I would have bought the aphrodisiac.

But all of that was destroyed at once.

“Huh, uhh… ugh, uhh… uhh…”

Shivering as if caught by a bad cold, cooling his hotly heated head with a wet towel,

She wiped off her cold sweat, which was like water from melted ice, with a warm towel.

“Uhhhhh…”

As she continued to make noises of pain, she grabbed my hand that I had put under the covers and held it with both hands.

But I didn’t say anything out of my mouth.

I am not an idiot to the extent that I do not know her condition and do not care.

If he had known that her love was deep in the first place, he would not have touched her planting to this extent.

I thought what she had was a simple desire for dominance, but when I saw her complexion turning blue…

Literally, really.

The blood had gone, and indeed I saw her face take on a shallow bluish tint.

I felt responsible for it.

I felt my heart keep getting heavier.

My head ached as if I had done something bad to her.

“Here… I brought you warm water.”

She was given a temporary clean cloth to cover her mouth.

She said that breathing through the cotton was a bit cramped, but her coughing was noticeably reduced.

“Thank you. Can you put it over there?”

“Give me cold water – grunt…”

There’s nothing wrong with a small body.

When I got up and tried to listen to it instead –

“No, no -!”

There she stood up and grabbed my waist.

“Don’t go, don’t go, please, stay by my side, please-“

A voice that sounded like a scream, screaming with a voice that had already become hoarse,

In an instant, he shrugged his arms, lowered his head, and apologized to me.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!

I somehow hid her body shaking and crying in my arms, shaking my head at Mr. Felter.

She quietly bowed her head and walked lightly out of the room.

…with a wagging tail.

After following it with my eyes for a while, I turned my head towards her and kissed her on the cheek and forehead.

“I’m not going anywhere, Ellie. I’m here.”

“Ah, ah, ah…”

The clothes are tightly gripped and pulled tight.

How long will it take to sniff out of your arms like that…

Slowly, she leaned on me and fell asleep once again.

He carefully laid her down and covered her with a blanket.

…I didn’t know that love could be this heavy.

Maybe she wants to cling to me because she knows me like this.

At some point, wouldn’t it be like taking off the mask as if everything was acting, and returning to the alluring woman once again?

As much as it would be nice if all of her was acting, I felt my heart ache.

For once, as soon as she noticed that I was attracted to someone other than her, she was furious with me.

But more than that, as soon as she saw the fear I saw on my face, she broke down.

Seeing her falling asleep exhausted after crying over and over again asking me not to leave, seeing her earnestly calling my name with her already rested throat.

But that didn’t mean that he could just throw away Mr. Pelter, who had already been harvested.

She needed a break, and if I threw her out, she’d be thrown out without anything.

I didn’t want to.

…sh*t.

I could see that he was too indecisive, and he was an idiot who couldn’t make a single decision properly.

In the end, I couldn’t draw a clear line with her, so I was swung by her.

I made a stupid choice because I didn’t clearly show rejection to her.

And even now, one person collapsed because they couldn’t make a decision,

The other was dependent on me, waiting for orders.

It was pathetic. Sadly, I was pathetic to myself.

I was disillusioned with my appearance.

Even so, I had no choice but to kiss and stroke the head of this rabbit who was trembling in front of me and suffering again.

All I had to do was hold her back in my arms after I had laid her down, and pull her ears back to neatly lay her hair while tightening my arms.

Now, I started to feel more anxious about her not being able to properly listen to anything no matter what she did.

…I thought I had to go to the hospital right away, even tomorrow.

***

“Master, Michelle…”

“I’m sleeping. I think I’m feeling a little better now.”

I carefully put her in a deep sleep, left the room, and talked to her quietly in front of the door.

“sorry…”

She even lowered her head in front of me, her ears drooping.

Burton’s hand caught his eye.

“My hand is hurt.”

“Oh, this… yes.”

It must have been the wounds caused by wringing a towel to cool her down while soothing her crying.

In her hand, she hurriedly pulled out a silver coin from the money bag, which was no longer heavy and flimsy.

“…Do you know how to write?”

“I’m clumsy… but yes, I’m good at writing, but at school to some extent…”

“Please send the letter to yesterday’s hospital.

“I’m fine-“

“It’s not okay.”

Perhaps it was because of the slightly harsh voice, she shook her head and nodded.

A long sigh stretched out.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Ellie became like that. Maybe I became a little nervous.”

A rustling sound was heard in the room.

Mr. Felter’s head jerked back to the room.

“…Marcus? Mr. Marcus?!”

The first call was a question.

The second cry was a scream.

I immediately opened the door and went into the room and closed the door.

“Ah, ahaaa – uh, where did you go… uh-“

Again she buries her head in my arms.

Again, she hugs my back tightly.

Again I was tied to her, but for some reason.

At that time, I believed that I could shake it off, but now it seemed like I couldn’t even shake it off.

Either this way or that way… I was destined to be bound by her.

***

When he is there, when he is looking at me,

When he was by my side, when he allowed me to embrace him,

Something’s going on in the brain – like little marbles bursting,

Just like putting a very sweet snack, a delicious fruit in your mouth and swallowing the water,

I feel the pleasure dozens of times more than that with my whole body.

When he’s not there, as if darkness had fallen on the world, as if the sunlight had disappeared,

because it looks so cold

Do you think that someday he might really hate me?

Now greatly grateful for the fact that I can simply hug him – but also scared once again.

His affections are no longer taken for granted, now I am so afraid,

He’s by my side every moment, but I’m afraid the time without him will be long.

Affection lasts only for a moment and then vanishes,

Loneliness will stay by my side forever.

A warm feeling, a sweet feeling is only for a moment,

The coldness and anxiety that enveloped her body did not disappear even while he was there.

I already gave him my all, but he will – I’m not even sure.

Today, I desperately rub my cheeks and lips against the scruff of his neck, trying to cover my scent somehow, but

why, why?

Why does it feel so light?

Why do I feel like I’m not enough?

If you’re greedy, it’s sure to be a nuisance to him, but if you’re greedy, you’re sure to be hated.

why am i like this

Will you still love me in this way?

I can’t live without you, but you don’t

I hate it so much, but if I say it out, you’ll be afraid of me forever.

Even at this moment I need more love, but I lost everything in an instant.

Because of my greed, because I don’t understand you.

Because of my greed, I made a gap for the stray cat to crawl in.

Unhappiness puts a hand on my shoulder even though I’m hugging you because you already have a little bit of that nasty smell in your scent.

Do you, who are hugging me now, know the touch of loneliness and its cold breath?

I hope you know.

If you knew, you would only look at me, you would love me, and you would only value me.

But… you’re not that kind of person.

If you live through this misfortune, if that day comes,

Will you ever find me?

If only you would find me, if only you would allow me to embrace you, I would gladly give you everything.

…You, would you?