I Became the Burden of a Conscienceless Party - I Became the Burden of a Conscienceless Party chapter 154

154 – The Turning Point (5)

Turning Point (5)

Lacrima opened her eyes in pain.

“… … .”

The first thing she saw was a familiar-looking tent. It was her circus tent.

I tried to stop the second somehow, but failed.

I crawled over there and tried to grab his ankle, but that also failed.

“haha.”

Did he ever feel a sense of satisfaction with his own appearance?

In reality, it was so miserable to see myself as if I had fainted in place, unable to move even an inch.

I didn’t even grab the second’s ankle, but I felt proud of crawling on the ground trying to grab that ankle.

But even that was just a fantasy, a lie she had dreamed up.

Isn’t that funny?

“If it was going to be like this, it would have been better to just die… … .”

Lacrima couldn’t hide her tears. She couldn’t put her mask back on, so she started to sob.

And then.

“Then should I do it like that?”

Bang!

The holy sword sank into the ground, grazing her neck as she lay there.

“I let you live because I needed information and I couldn’t leave you alone, but if that’s what you want, then there’s no reason I wouldn’t do it.”

It was Esmeralda who had been watching Lacrima’s struggles from the beginning.

Esmeralda knows. She understands better than anyone what Lacrima’s struggles mean now.

It must be painful. It must be so hard that you want to give up on everything.

She too has fallen and gotten back up again and again, so she knows the pain very well.

And that’s why I know very well how to deal with that pain.

What Lacrima needs now is not comfort.

“Do you really want to die? Are you sure you want to end it all like this?”

That is awareness.

To overcome despair, you must first clearly understand what you want to do.

“……no.”

And as she expected, Lacrima shook her head.

It must have been true that he wanted to die.

However, she cannot accept death hastily because there was a reason why she should not die, a reason so desperate that she was struggling.

“I won’t die.”

Lacrima immediately sprang to her feet and glared at Esmeralda.

“Because there was someone who wanted me to live, even in this miserable state. So I’ll live, even if it’s miserable.”

“Well, that’s a good excuse.”

Esmeralda faced Lacrima without avoiding her gaze, which was glaring at her.

To begin with, there were only two people in this tent: her and Lacrima.

She had already overwhelmed Lacrima before, but that was because it was a 1:1 situation.

Due to the nature of Lacrima’s abilities, the more people there are against her, the more difficult it is likely to be.

It might be okay for her and Tina, but it would be difficult for anyone else to see through Lacrima’s illusions.

That’s why she stayed behind so that she could definitely subdue Lacrima in case something happened.

“Would you like to tell me, Commander Third? Who made you like this? What do you want to do about it?”

“… … .”

Lacrima stared at Esmeralda and played with her hands.

Before she knew it, a dagger, a knife, and other extremely ominous weapons appeared in her hands.

Lacrima, who had been glaring at Esmeralda with blatant hostility in her eyes, soon let out a deep sigh and said.

“Call me Lacrima, not Third. That’s my name now.”

That also meant that she had accepted that she was no longer a member of the Demon King’s Army.

‘Wait, Robeno. I won’t give up just like this. No matter how much you run away.’

But her pledge is…

‘I will be with you by any means necessary.’

It felt a little dangerous.

***

While Esmeralda was interrogating Lacrima, the other members of the group were each taking a break.

For the warrior party that hadn’t had a proper rest in the past few days, Lacrima’s tent in the middle of the forest was a great help.

It wasn’t just a tent that could block outside intrusion.

“Something feels off.”

Garnet was creeped out.

A tent located in the middle of the forest.

The traces of life in the circus arena, built in a place where no one visits, belong only to Lacrima.

However, there was not just one room.

The daily necessities prepared in each room looked somehow shabby.

For the guests who will come someday? No, she knows.

“Do you miss your kind?”

Trickster. A tearful clown who is banished from among them.

Lacrima, despite being a demon with no family, missed those who had banished her.

Yes, she rode the lonely road. That’s why she was labeled as weird.

Despised, bullied, and driven out.

And yet, she misses them. That feeling overflowed into the tent, which was too large for Lacrima to live in alone.

“Huh.”

Garnet thought as she lay down on the soft bed in her room.

It’s a really comfortable place. It’s perfectly prepared for guests who come to visit.

And the more that comfort stood out, the more Lacrima’s situation became apparent.

“really…….”

Even though there is such a comfortable place, Lacrima sleeps in the middle of the stage.

He sleeps curled up in the middle of a hard, worn-out stage.

The girl, who was used to being bullied by others, still puts herself in discomfort and waits for them.

Just like a child who has been abused by his parents still loves them.

“I feel so bad that I no longer even want to seek revenge.”

A clown with a lack of affection and a tearful face.

That’s why I long for love.

So, now, that clown who could do anything for that and accomplished everything, but was eventually abandoned.

What are you thinking?

***

As Garnet, the strongest ally of the warrior party, fell asleep, the sun set and the other party members also began to fall asleep.

However, there was still someone who could not fall asleep, and one of them was… … .

“… … .”

Now that I can finally rest, I am starting to have a lot of thoughts.

Since the death of the extra, it has been a forced march.

I took the fastest route to fulfill Esmeralda’s wish, but I became impatient and didn’t think about the dangers of this forest.

Thanks to this, we were able to advance at a rapid pace for several days without resting.

“Was that right?”

Things that had not come to mind because of his busy schedule were now disturbing Jim’s mind.

Jim thought, What he did then was definitely right.

The position of the feet of the gods. They perform miracles, but if it is something that can be done by oneself, they teach the direction.

Teaching people to stand up on their own two feet.

That was definitely not wrong.

Wasn’t that the case with everything he’s done as a god up until now?

He tried to avoid performing direct miracles if possible.

Because the divine power he holds is not suited for this place. The more he uses it, the closer he gets to those he wants to stay away from.

That’s what I thought. Unlike those beyond me who feel nothing for the suffering of others, I wanted to care for and teach living beings.

“Lieutenant Colonel.”

The extras are dead.

Even if Jim had left it alone, it would have happened that way, but it’s not wrong to say that he accelerated the situation.

Because the extras had the potential to defeat the enemy with their own hands.

It taught me the possibility.

But what if he had intervened directly? What if he had saved the extras and taken down the Force?

“Am I being selfish? Or is this just because I am human?”

However, Jim respected the extra’s will. He just watched him through to the end, even though he knew he would die.

That came to mind later.

What does it mean to be human? Should we turn a blind eye to the death of our best friend just to avenge him?

Or should I force myself to stop running towards the edge of the cliff?

“Colonel, I haven’t made up my mind yet.”

Jim kept choosing.

I was putting various things on the scales in my mind and comparing their weights.

Will you stand on the side of humans or on the side of the demons?

From simple issues like that to more complex ones like whether we should honor their noble sacrifice or sacrifice their lives to save them even at the cost of their nobility.

That’s because he knows.

Because he suffered great embarrassment once due to his hasty judgment.

Because of that mistake, things have come to this point, with so many people fighting each other, believing in justice.

A person who shouldn’t have died has died.

Those who deserved to die survived.

Some have discovered new realms in the face of death, while others have lost their longevity because of that power.

It became so tangled and complicated that it was impossible to untangle it.

“Everyone thinks differently and values ​​different things.”

There is no such thing as a clear definition.

What may be a good deed to one person may be an evil deed to another.

The person he trusted was also like that.

“Was it a mistake for me to trust you?”

The Pope betrayed him.

When the Pope heard his fervent prayers and appeared to him, he fell into a trap, lost his power, and the world fell into chaos.

“Even in the face of death, you were undaunted. You never doubted that you were not wrong. What difference is there between the death you accepted and the death the lieutenant colonel accepted?”

The Pope wanted to save the world.

The problem is that it was an extreme form of the extinction of a race and territory.

But in some ways, that decision was right.

The demon race was slowly approaching destruction.

The land of death called the Demon Realm, which gradually expanded its territory to a point where even the holy relics of the Cheonshin Church could not resolve it.

For now, we can say that the Pope’s choice is extreme.

But, 100 years from now? 1000 years from now? Will that choice still be extreme?

If the human world is tainted by the demon world and everyone dies because the area has narrowed.

If it’s unavoidable.

“What is the difference between you and me?”

The Pope’s decision may have been extreme, but it was certainly the right path.

Then, the Pope, who stood between the two races, humans and demons, and tilted the scales, and decided between the world and one race.

What the heck is the difference?

If so, he is… … .

smart.

At that moment, a sound was heard that interrupted Jim’s thoughts. A guest had arrived.

“Mr. Jim, are you still awake?”

“yes…….”

“Hehe, you must be tired, but you’re still awake?”

“I have something to think about.”

“may I come in?”

“Yes, it is open.”

Crunch.

Irina opened the door and entered the room after receiving Jim’s permission.

Jim, who was sitting on the bed, froze for a moment and held his breath when he saw Irina come in.

“Haha… … . Hmm… … . I hope I didn’t bother you.”

“Is that a nuisance? No, it’s not. It’s just… … .”

Irina’s clothes were short and thin, so thin that you could see through them.

Yes, she came into the room wearing only a pair of light lingerie.

“If you come here looking so defenseless, people will think you’re tempting them.”

“Have you ever been that way?”

Irina muttered, scratching her cheek and avoiding eye contact.

Her face had been bright red for a long time, and her clenched hands were trembling, showing how embarrassed she had been to get to this place.

“You came here to seduce me, right?”