I Became the Burden of a Conscienceless Party - I Became the Burden of a Conscienceless Party chapter 182

182 – Side story 2. The story after, Release (1)

The story after, Release (1)

Looking back, it all started with a mistake.

The illusion led me to believe that Jim had something special and I had to act accordingly.

In that situation, Lilith couldn’t help but feel a twinge of emotion as she watched Jim respond kindly.

A world that returns to the discipline of power.

He rose to a high position in the Demon King’s army not through power, but through connections.

I was out of breath.

There were many times when she wanted to quit, but if she did, Belphegor would have to take charge of this huge group alone.

She had made Belphegor the Demon King, and the sight of Belphegor reigning supreme with his small body seemed so precarious that there was nothing she could do.

So she did the best she could.

In such a situation, it is inevitable that you will become interested in a kind and understanding man whom you meet as if by fate.

so…….

‘… … I wanted to meet you.’

Emotions and expectations began to sprout from the voices heard across the communication tunnel.

They gradually grew bigger and eventually developed into a situation where I wanted to meet them at least once.

The moment we met like that. The expectations had grown so large that it couldn’t be helped even if the bean pods were peeled off…

‘Like a prince.’

Instead of breaking, it became stronger.

I guess it’s because we had such high expectations when we met.

The prince who saved me from danger.

I had no idea that the crisis was brought about by the warrior party.

With her confusion, fear, and her tightly-wound bean pods clenched, Lilith had no time to care about such things.

Yes, she was in love.

Rather than saying it was love at first sight, it was a love that was like something that had been building up for a long time exploding all at once.

but…….

‘It was all a mistake.’

It also means that the luggage is special.

The first impression was like a prince on a white horse.

Through conversation and exchange, the husk began to peel away.

In fact, there were doubts. No matter how much I thought about it, Jim’s easygoing appearance seemed far from the point of view of hiding some huge secret.

Of course, in the end, Jim was indeed special. However, it was far from the specialness that Lilith had thought.

So what was it like after that illusion was resolved?

What will be left when the tangled web of illusions begins to unravel, one by one?

‘It’s a pity.’

The correct answer was ‘nothing has changed’.

Yes, her feelings still took the form of a heart-fluttering love when she saw Jim.

Even though everything was an illusion, the flower that began to sprout in the midst of the nutrients of illusion was not fake.

At that moment, Lilith realized.

It doesn’t matter whether the first meeting was special or dramatic.

Lilith had already come to like Jim as a person.

If it were her in the past, she would have unconditionally taken Belphegor’s side, but because she had feelings for Jim, she was able to act in a way that seemed to betray Belphegor. Because she could think that it was an action for her own good.

It was from then on.

Even I could understand it myself.

Lilith is to a man named Jim… … .

‘Yes, I definitely… … .’

That you have excessive fantasies.

That must be the cause of all this. Lilith blamed herself.

***

“I’ll pretend I don’t know.”

The words that came out of Lilith’s mouth were those of guilt.

Excessive expectations towards luggage.

That was because Jim continued to live up to her expectations.

Unlike Belphegor, he checks the documents as soon as they are submitted. He seriously thinks about policies for the Demon World and listens to the opinions of those around him.

Yeah, Jim was competent.

He was a better king than Belphegor, who spent at least half the day asleep.

That’s because the anti-teacher, Belphegor, was so cruel and because he had experience as a king in the past.

In Lilith’s eyes, he looked like a superhuman. A superhuman who could do anything and solve all kinds of difficult problems with ease.

But Jim ran away.

The work was too much and she ended up running away. At that moment, Lilith realized how high her expectations had been.

Because he was forced to follow such ideals, Jim became exhausted and wanted to run away.

It’s your own fault.

At least Lilith looked back on her own mind and came to that conclusion.

“I guess I pushed Jim too hard. It’s natural for people to want to rest when they’re tired… … I didn’t think about that.”

“… … Release.”

“So, Mr. Jim, I’ll pretend I didn’t see it for now. I didn’t see anything, so you can do whatever you wanted to do.”

That’s why Lilith decided to trust what Jim wanted to do.

I wanted him to do what he wanted without forcing his expectations on her.

And if that’s leaving… … .

She has to let him go. That’s what she has to do, having made him suffer with her excessive expectations.

but…….

“But if I may be a little greedy, I hope you will come back someday.”

“… … .”

“I think it would be a little… no, a lot of loneliness not to be able to see Mr. Jim again.”

Lilith bowed her head quietly, hugging her arms.

Her own selfishness, and what it meant, was so obvious to her that she thought about it.

“Release… … .”

Watching such a release was quite difficult for Jim as well.

I never thought I would suffer this much over a simple escape.

A feeling of guilt that he had never felt before while escaping from the warrior party grabbed Jim’s ankles.

Originally, I had planned to pretend to escape, buy some time, and then quietly leave the Demon King’s Castle when things quieted down. However, I didn’t plan on never coming back, I just wanted to catch my breath for a moment.

“It’s not Lilith’s fault. I’m just… … a little tired.”

“……okay.”

Lilith nodded.

However, it felt more like a feeling of trust rather than an affirmation.

Jim could feel that feeling too, so he scratched the back of his head.

“Because I had a lot of work to do.”

“Yes.”

Eventually, Jim decided to speak out a little more.

“I am now an ordinary human being. It was burdensome for me to become the king of the Demon Realm, where power was the law until recently.”

“Because it was sudden… … . I understand that it was an unwanted position.”

I never intended to become the Demon King.

To be exact, my goal was to meet Demon King Belphegor and save her, and I didn’t think about what would happen after that.

Because Jim thought there would be no afterlife for him.

So I just accepted it.

Since I didn’t think about what would happen next, rather than refuse the position that was forced upon me, I decided to just accept it.

Because there was nothing I wanted to do and nothing left to do.

So I decided to accept the position for everyone.

Of course, there were parts of the method that were quite coercive and sudden.

He was forced to sit in that position without knowing anything, so he couldn’t help but feel burdened.

I tried hard though… … .

As time passed, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of that place.

And above all, the mental fatigue was too much. As the days went by, I felt more and more disillusioned and it was painful to be there.

“Although we are newlyweds, I was a little skeptical about being like this without even having a wedding ceremony.”

While being tempted by party members and being stopped time and time again.

I felt that the seven desires that existed inside Jim were growing bigger, but none of them were being satisfied.

That was painful.

“That’s why I wanted to take a break. Don’t you have times like that? Everyone feels like they want to run away because things are too hard.”

“Yes.”

Lilith smiled faintly.

She could understand what Jim had said. She also had a hard time being forced into the position of secretary by Belphegor.

She was the one who wanted to run away more than anyone else, so I could understand.

“… … Is there anything I can do for you?”

And because I understand, I wanted to help.

“Oh, or if I help Mr. Jim in the future… … would you reconsider this escape?”

And just as much as I wished the burden would never leave.

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If there is something I can do, I want to do it. If it doesn’t leave me with a burden, then that’s enough.

“If you want to pass on the work, it’s okay if I do it for you.”

I will grant Jim whatever he wants and do the things he doesn’t want to do.

Just from that alone, anyone can see how admirable Lilith’s heart is towards Jim.

The same goes for Jim.

Until now, everyone around him had a selfish side, but Liris didn’t have that.

That was admirable, but also a little disappointing.

Because it seemed like the only way to express affection was to share the pain.

“Lilith, that’s not it. Of course, I would appreciate it if you could help me… … but I don’t want to push things I don’t like onto you.”

“… … Then is there anything I can do for you, Mr. Jim?”

“For my sake? Hmm, just pretending not to see me like this would be enough… … .”

“There’s something I want to eat, or a book I want to read… … .”

Lilith began to list in front of Jim the ways she relieved stress when she was having a hard time.

Jim, who had been listening to Lilith’s stress relief method in an unexpected way, said with a soft smile.

“It’s really okay. Actually, I don’t have any wishes right now… … .”

“… … For example, if you want a physical relationship… … .”

“… … .”

“… … .”

Jim couldn’t help but remain silent for a while as he listened to Lilith’s words, which were spoken hesitantly but definitely.

Lilith simply lowered her head with a blush on her face, not knowing what the silence meant.

And then the words that came out of Jim’s mouth were… .

“… … That seems right.”

It was a sincerity that was more certain than anything else.