I Became the Master of the Empress - Chapter 188
188 – 192
In the evening of the State Council day.
-Creak.
“He’s out.”
As I enter the room, Theodora meets my gaze as she reads a book on the bed.
“You’re here?”
“Yeah, I’m a little tired.”
As I say that, I lie down on the sofa and loosen my tie.
“Are you very tired?”
“Yeah, I feel like I’m going to die.”
I feel like I might actually die from overwork these days, wondering why there is so much to do.
As I close my eyes and feel like I’m going to fall asleep.
A hand gently strokes my head.
As I feel good about the touch.
I hear a sweet voice above my head.
“Can’t you trust me a little more?”
I reply to her slightly sad voice.
“I always trust you.”
To be honest, I don’t trust her.
Because the political world is like a sheet of ice.
Yesterday’s enemy can become today’s comrade, and yesterday’s friend can become today’s enemy…
Because it is the politics of the empire.
“Fi, liar. If you really trusted me… you would have told me the truth.”
At those words, I feel a pang inside and try to find a lame excuse.
But she speaks first.
“I’m sorry.”
I don’t understand her sudden apology.
I wonder what she is sorry for and ask her.
“What?”
“Just…everything. Insulting your mother-in-law who passed away protecting you that day…, and everything I said then.”
That time…
That day.
That day, the crying her and me, who was holding her by the hair.
And her, who cursed and swore at me.
Me, who left her there without a care.
The memory of that day.
She and I have both intentionally avoided mentioning that day until now.
“Is that why you can’t trust me?”
“That’s… no.”
Her soft touch.
Her trembling voice in contrast to that.
“Then why don’t you tell me anything?”
“What… should I tell you?”
“The reason you’re still leaving the protesters alone, and what Savinelli saw that night. Are you not going to tell me?”
I shut my mouth at her words.
Because I have nothing to say to her.
This is the best way, for now.
How many strong people have I broken with the way I’ve done things up until now?
I’ve taken down Valorang, the strongest knight in the Empire with no equal, and King Johannes, the head of the strongest force in the Empire, who had acquired three kingdoms.
And I did all of that by thoroughly controlling my emotions.
I close my eyes and suppress my wavering heart as much as possible.
“Alright, if you can’t say anything first, I’ll speak.”
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What is she going to say?
“You may not know this, but after you said you were going to make Savinelli the Minister of Justice a little while ago, there was a banquet held by the Imperial faction.”
I know about that.
The Intelligence Agency had tapped that banquet because it was a situation where the bigwigs of Roman were gathering, and I was given a report on the important things that were said.
Was that when it was? When the Imperial faction noticed that I was working in the shadows?
“At that time, a count by the name of Delahaye insisted that you should be assassinated.”
I received a summarized report of that conversation.
Count Delahaye, who said he would kill me, and Theodora, who punished him.
“I scoffed at his absurd words. If you were to die, it’s obvious that your soldiers would run wild.”
What is she trying to say?
“But Count Delahaye said this. The reason he can’t assassinate you is because if you were to die, command of the Grand Army would pass to Princess Mary and there would be chaos… He said that he would assassinate you once you and I had a child.”
– Flinch.
My body trembles without my permission.
“Hm?”
When I flinched slightly, she made a curious sound, and I hurriedly changed the subject.
“So?”
I have to stay calm.
My body reacted instinctively to the fact that she had learned the thing I fear the most.
Pretending to be nonchalant… pretending to be magnanimous.
Because I don’t know what she’ll do if she finds out I’m afraid.
I need to leave her purity intact, annul the marriage, and leave.
If I sleep with her and leave, it will complicate the succession issue of this empire.
I forcefully suppress my emotions while thinking such cold thoughts.
“Ugh… I’m very angry at those words. I feel unbearably humiliated that you are trying to use the fruit of our love politically.
Her words give me mixed feelings.
Is this her trap? Could this be a mixture of truth and falsehood, saying that something like this happened?
On the other hand, it could be her true feelings.
What should I do?
What is her true intention?
I slowly open my eyes, wanting to know her true intentions.
Theodora is looking down at me.
When I look at her, her gaze is a little strange.
As if faced with a difficult situation, a sense of wonder is reflected in her red eyes.
“Well… I told you a secret I’ve been keeping from you. So… shouldn’t you tell me your secret too?”
My firm determination wavers at her earnest expression and tone.
No… The reason I’ve won so far… is because I’ve been thorough in my security.
If I had accidentally leaked a secret, Johannes might have taken the throne.
Or my neck might have been cut off by Balorang.
I can’t make a mistake in the future because of a moment of emotion.
“I have no secrets.”
At my words, Theodora’s eyes narrow suspiciously.
“Are you sure there aren’t any demon worshippers active?”
I nod at her words.
“Yes, I’ve never received a report like that. Maybe Savinelli saw something wrong.”
She shakes her head at my words.
“That’s a lie. You’re scared right now.”
– Flinch.
“You’re good at lying… but when you’re caught in a lie. You’re sloppy.”
I remain silent at her words, lost in thought, my head spinning.
She licks her lips slightly and speaks.
“But I think I know roughly what you’re hiding. I wont get in your way, and I won’t tell anyone.”
I sense something strange in her voice as the atmosphere changes in an instant.
-Smack!
“If you ever… change your mind, let me know. I’m your one and only wife, after all.”
I glance at her as she says that and heads towards the bed, closing my eyes.
I don’t know what’s going on anymore.
***
What is he… so afraid of?
Listening to his faint breathing, I fall into thought.
[However, that’s what Count Thera said. He can’t assassinate you because if you die, the command of the Grand Duchy’s army will pass to Princess Mary and there will be chaos… He said that if a child is born between you and me, he will assassinate it.]
-Flinch.
Strange, why did he react to those words?
Could it be that he thinks I’ll kill him if I have a child?
[Are the demon worshippers really not active?]
[Hmm, I’ve never received such a report. Maybe Savinelli saw something wrong.]
[Lies. You’re scared right now.]
-Flinch.
A very small reaction from him.
Is it because we’ve lived together as comrades for so long?
I can sense his habits a little.
I can tell that he feels fear when I mention having a child or the demon worshippers.
He is not a demon worshipper, but it is clear that he intends to stop them.
For some reason, he doesn’t want us to know that the demon worshippers are active.
Perhaps… it’s to bring down the demon worshippers.
His forte is deception.
His specialty is letting his opponent grow complacent and then making them fall into a pitfall.
Surely, he must be aiming for something by not giving us information.
Something’s bothering me.
Why is Debien doing everything alone?
Can’t he trust those around him a little more?
When he was young… was it because of that incident?
Debien’s childhood as I heard it from my mother.
I heard that he lost his mother to the betrayal of a trusted attendant.
Is it because of that incident? Is that why he doesn’t open his heart to me easily?
It’s sad and frustrating.
He fights the demon worshippers in secret and supports the empire alone.
He overworks himself every night.
I can’t tell what Debien is looking at or what he’s thinking.
I quietly get out of bed and walk towards the sofa where Debien is sleeping.
Debien curled up on the sofa, sleeping.
“You’re… fighting a very hard battle.”
If he had told us that the demon worshippers were active… he wouldn’t have been so insulted by Savinelli earlier…
Looking at his sleeping face, I press my lips to his cheek.
-Kiss.
“Lean on me a little more…”
He must be acting like a lone wolf because he’s aiming for something.
Because there’s no other time he acts like this.
When he succeeded in killing Balorang before, and during the civil war with Johannes.
There were times when his actions were difficult for me to comprehend.
He handed over Epirus and Egypt to Johannes, and imprisoned all the members of the Golden Knights, the Empire’s strongest military force.
Everyone denounced and criticized him… but in the end, his actions, despite the insults he faced, played a decisive role and ultimately turned the situation around.
As I looked at Debiane’s sleeping face, I found myself feeling a little resentful.
If only he had told me in advance… I wouldn’t have done it.
But he doesn’t confide in me.
If only he had trusted me a little more.
Come to think of it…
It’s like he’s afraid of being reborn…
Could he be thinking of what Count Della said?
“Oh, come on.”
Even now, I love him so much, how could I possibly kill Debiane, especially now that we have a child together?
I dismiss the ridiculous thought, thinking that it’s impossible.