I can enter Hogwarts in the end of the world - #177 - Chapter 177 The biggest existential crisis

Slowly walking down the astronomy tower, this time he did not choose to let Phoenix take him to apparate back to his dormitory.

There was no reason, just pure thought, a pure will, and he chose to follow this wish.

The journey was uneventful, without any accidents. All that was left was his attachment to magic, and he almost stopped for a few seconds in front of each portrait.

“After energy comes information…” Ian thought to himself as he looked at these portraits.

Ten minutes later.

North Tower, in front of the Ravenclaw Common Room. He finally understood why he had the idea of ​​walking just now.

“Asleep? Is your phone dead? You asked me a question.” Ian knocked on the bronze door knocker and said with some confusion.

Yes, he only thought of Dumbledore, but ignored his natal Head of House – Rowena Ravenclaw.

He had obviously thought that the door knocker was a Ravenclaw arrangement, but he actually ignored it when he needed it most.

“Thank you, ma’am,” Ian said softly.

At this moment, the bronze door knocker, which had been silent for a long time, woke up again.

“How do you prove your existence?”

What came to my ears this time was no longer the original mechanical sound of the door knocker. It is a female voice, ethereal, gentle, sweet, and cold…

Although it was only at a normal volume, when it fell to his ears, it was no less than a sound of thunder in the clear sky.

“Prove your existence?” Ian repeated this sentence unconsciously.

Facing Rowena Ravenclaw’s direct questions, he found that all the opportunistic Zen knowledge he had in his previous life had disappeared.

This is not to say that Zen Buddhism cannot answer this question. Zen Buddhism can basically explain many things. If you are in a hurry, you can also use a large number of moves, remain silent and smile.

Ian’s inability to answer is because he does not really possess this knowledge of Zen Buddhism. He couldn’t even call it “knowledge” when it comes to the unity of knowledge and action. Those things before could only be called – carrying and retelling at best.

Therefore, facing this kind of question that pointed directly at his heart, he was speechless.

“How to prove that you exist? You can’t!” This is the only answer in Ian’s heart, but… he understands this wrong answer.

He knows that if he wants to prove his existence, he must first see the objective reality, not the pseudo-reality of human beings through self-perception.

The body’s senses receive various information from the outside world and the inside, and then transmit it to the brain through nerves, which stimulates the brain to form a certain kind of cognition.

It’s just that… he knows very well that this thing is just bioelectricity generated by nerve conduction. They are all false, but this also becomes a paradox. Does it prove true within the false? It’s simply impossible to prove.

At this moment, Ian thought of the famous time turner.

At this moment, if I turn on the time turner and see myself in the past, can I prove my existence?

But he quickly shook his head and denied it, because the ‘moment’ when he had this idea had already become the ‘past’.

A Time-Turner can see another self, no doubt about it. But…what you see is not necessarily yourself in this time and space, just like a parallel universe.

This also explains why Dumbledore once said that the time turner cannot change what has already happened, because the parallel universe cannot affect another time and space, and it is even less possible to break through the time and space sequence, and it cannot change what has happened in this time and space. matter.

Ian’s brain was running overload at the moment, but the more he did it, the more clearly he realized his own insignificance and ignorance.

Time passed by, and I was thankful that it was curfew time, and the Ravenclaw students didn’t have the habit of wandering at night.

a long time……

A tired and decadent voice sounded.

“I don’t know, can you let me go back? I’m only in the fourth grade. I just want to go back to the dormitory and sleep…”

If Ian had a mirror at this moment, he would definitely be able to see the huge changes in his body, as if all his energy had been taken away, making him sluggish, tired, and weak.

Even when he traveled to the Leaky Cauldron for the first time, he was only vigilant and defensive, not as… helpless as he is now.

Because in his thinking just now, he had denied the existence of the entire world, including himself.

If you can’t prove your existence, you can only deny everything in disguise. And…in HP, a world composed of energy and magic, a world where all your wishes come true, you deny your own existence? This price…

At this moment, the pale golden eyes seemed to have turned black again, and the flame that continued to burn in the pupils was only a tiny point of light.

“As you wish!” Rowena Ravenclaw’s voice sounded again inside the bronze door knocker.

At the same time, the door to the common room opened.

A person walked through the lounge hall and slowly walked towards his dormitory. Ian had a vague feeling that someone was saying something to him, or saying hello.

But he turned a deaf ear to this. In his current knowledge, the world cannot prove it, let alone anything else.

He returned to his bed, put down the dark blue velvet bed curtains, and fell asleep almost directly next to the pillow under extreme exhaustion.

…

He slept for almost 12 hours. Fortunately, he had applied for a break from classes before, which saved him from all kinds of interruptions.

After sitting up from the bed, Ian did not wash up and change clothes as usual. Instead, he continued to sit on the bed in a daze. A night of deep sleep did not relieve his mood. On the contrary, as time went by, he now extremely doubted the authenticity of everything around him.

“We can’t go on like this… we have to move at least.” Ian warned himself silently in his heart.

Although he didn’t feel hungry at all, he still chose to take out the food he had stored before, a piece of hard dry cheese from the dragon skin pocket, and then took a glass of water in the bathroom, and ate it bite by bite.

Although I was eating, it was as if I had lost my sense of taste, like chewing wax without any taste. At the moment, it’s just eating for the sake of eating.

After eating the cheese, he still sat upright on the bed. He didn’t want to do anything, such as reading in the library, walking by the black lake… he was not interested in anything, and even some familiar faces gradually became blurred.

Ian knew that this was because he had lost his desire. All motivation comes from the expulsion of desire, including walking, standing, sitting and lying down.

Although he was aware of it, he was unable to do anything about it because he had denied the existence of the world and had a strong sense of separation. This is not an agreement between children. The scoundrel can just say “I regret it” and start over.

He understands that his state is very dangerous. If he cannot prove his existence as soon as possible, he will eventually become desireless until even the last trace of self-awareness disappears.

“I can only rely on myself…” At this moment, Ian regretted extremely. He should have directly approached Dumbledore at that time instead of stupidly looking for Rowena Ravenclaw.

But no matter how much he talks now, it won’t help. In his current state, there is nothing Merlin can do even if he is alive, let alone finding Dumbledore. The whole world has denied it, and nothing the people living in this world can say can change him.

ps: Sorry everyone, these two chapters are a bit brain-burning. The main reason is that Xiaodi wants to pave the way for the next awakening of the soul, so that it does not seem so abrupt, and also serves as a primer for the fifth awakening.