I Can’t Run Away From the Girl Who Saved Me - I Can’t Run Away From the Girl Who Saved Me chapter 29

29 – Family (1)

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Returning to the cabin with the fainting Ash in her arms, Sylvia walked inside without even looking at Ash’s bed as soon as she opened the door.

Her footsteps headed straight for her room.

Carefully putting Ash on her bed, Sylvia took care not to make a sound dragging on the floor, pulled up a chair, and sat quietly looking at Ash’s face.

It feels like the sound of his breathing, which was originally light, is heard more faintly today.

Sylvia put her finger under the fainting Ash’s nose just in case, and her feeble breath tickled Sylvia’s fingertips.

He seemed to have fallen asleep.

Well, even with the exception of Sylvia’s last attack, Ash moved enough to be exhausted today.

With a relieved expression on her face, Sylvia put her fingers back and carefully ran a hand through Ash’s hair.

“I was wrong until now.”

Sylvia reversed the past judgment that Ash had no talent.

He obviously had a talent.

He may not have the talent as an adventurer, but his talent as a mage is definitely outstanding.

Of course, it is by no means as good as Maria, who was his colleague, but Ash is also a good enough wizard to be refined.

If he hadn’t come to this forest, he probably would have chosen a career as a sorcerer and built a pretty successful career.

Thinking so, a question arose.

‘Why did Ash say he had no special talent?’

Despite his lack of practical experience, Ash’s talent was clearly visible enough to be noticed with a little guidance from a proper educator.

Even at the academy, where children from aristocratic families had been educated since childhood, few showed such talent.

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Of course, Maria is on a completely different level, so even if it’s out of the field.

“…you said you only studied theory.”

The reason he didn’t know his talent until now was probably because of his overwhelming lack of practical experience.

He seems to have said that even if he learned magic in the first place, there were not enough opportunities to use it.

You wouldn’t have dreamed of attending an academy where you have to pay expensive tuition, and you probably invited outside lecturers to learn a few times a week.

Everything else is self-taught.

But it is also a great talent.

Is it possible to learn advanced magic only by studying theory?

It took a long time to calculate, so although it was said that it was not practical, Ash said that he could definitely use some advanced magic.

If that’s not a talent, what is it?

You could criticize him for simply being good at studying, but being good at studying was definitely a talent worthy of envy.

‘No, that’s not what’s important right now.’

Sylvia stopped thinking about Ash’s talent.

Ash’s talent or not was a topic that had nothing to do with the many problems that complicate her feelings now.

Sylvia began to slowly organize her thoughts in the stillness she wanted, even fainting Ash.

‘…What do I have to think about first?’

It was already difficult to decide on one topic first among the thoughts that were swirling chaotically in my head without being organized.

All the concerns were all important, but the topics were subtly intertwined with each other and at the same time sporadically fragmented, making it all the more confusing.

Sylvia first grabbed the first thought that came to her mind and began to solve it.

When untying a knot in a complex tangled ball of thread, it is better to shut up and start from the place where you can reach your hands while you have time to think about where to start.

“If Ash becomes as strong as this…”

It’s never a bad thing for him to be strong enough to defend himself.

But what if Ash grows to the point where he doesn’t need Sylvia’s help?

If Ash could protect himself from the wild animals and monsters of this forest, then Sylvia would no longer need to stand by him, so in fact, the two expressions were equivalent.

Sylvia looked at Ash’s face and wrinkled her face.

She knew empirically.

Fun comes when people can feel that their abilities are growing.

When you have fun, the effort becomes relatively easy.

It grows rapidly like a fire kindled in a wildfire.

Especially when the goal is clear.

Besides, Ash was clumsy because he didn’t know how to do it, but it seemed like he was already used to working hard.

It’s probably because of his mental power that doesn’t usually show up well, but at some point, it sparks and burns.

The day after Ash first appeared, Sylvia visited the scene of the carriage accident.

Even for her, a warrior with no limbs, the accident site was a distance that seemed far from the cabin.

Seeing that he had walked such a long distance with his dying body, Ash’s mental strength was by no means normal.

Ash becomes stronger when he has a goal.

And Ash’s surroundings were full of things that could be targets.

Perhaps first a wolf, then a bear, then a monster,

Ash will continue to grow.

Of course, there comes a moment when you hit your limits and your growth slows down.

Most people would eventually kneel in front of such a wall of limitations and have their hearts broken.

So it might be too early to worry about Ash’s growth already.

But Sylvia knew instinctively.

Ash will easily overcome the wall that came to him.

just like he did

Sylvia, who unraveled the first thread, was immediately placed with a second bundle of tangled thoughts.

Let’s say it’s virtually certain that Ash will become stronger if he stays like this.

Then, should he stop Ash’s growth or should he encourage it?

The answer to this question came sooner than expected.

Assuming the worst of each situation, one was leaving Sylvia, and the other was Ash’s death.

Whether Ash voluntarily left Sylvia or died from the teeth of monsters and animals, the result was virtually the same.

Ash leaving his side.

“It’s better for Ash to leave… than to die.”

Sylvia muttered in a voice full of fear.

Sylvia took a moment to catch her breath and stroked her arm.

Now even the second tangled ball of thread is untied.

The conclusion so far is that Ash is better off growing up.

Then, the most important question remains.

How can I hold onto Ash so he doesn’t leave?

Sylvia looked at her hands.

His rough hands were full of calluses from holding a sword all his life.

It was a very different hand from Ash’s soft hand.

In fact, Ash’s entire body was soft and smooth, not just his hands.

Unlike himself, who kept washing himself in the river flowing in the forest, Ash had been living in the touch of civilization until 5-6 weeks ago, so it was not strange that he had soft and fair skin.

He didn’t have wide shoulders or strong muscles like a man, but Ash was much more charming and lovely to hold in his arms to Sylvia, who longed for human warmth.

This soft and fragile body was also the reason he needed Silvia, so Silvia liked Ash’s frail body even more.

However, if he refuses Sylvia’s protection after he gets stronger and leaves, how will Sylvia hold him back?

Sylvia was troubled.

Was there anything he could offer Ash besides protection from danger?

What kind of person was he to Ash in the first place?

Benefactor? Companion of the Curse? inmate? guardian?

All four of them would be correct, but none of them were enough to hold Ash firmly.

It is too despicable to plead for favors of benefactors.

If Ash says he will live in hiding to prevent the spread of the curse, there is no reason to stop him.

If he left, it meant that he would refuse to live together in the first place.

In that situation, Ash would already have no need for my protection.

“I already can’t do without you… you… don’t you?”

Sylvia said while carefully stroking Ash’s hair.

Sylvia wondered what value she had to Ash.

No, let’s think the other way around.

What does Ash mean to me?

He is hope and driving force.

It is a companion to accompany me on the long journey towards death that I am walking with this curse on my back, and a spiritual pillar to endure.

That’s why Ash was needed.

An existence that will prevent you from going mad and unleashing it into this world.

He was the one who made Sylvia stand as a brave warrior who sacrificed herself.

Would you rather reveal this heart honestly?

That without you I might go crazy

Without you, I might be broken enough to curse the whole world.

The kind Ash will surely say that he will stay by my side.

But, how long will that last?

I didn’t even know I would break like this.

I was the one who endured even if my arm was cut off, even if an iron skewer heated from hell fire stirred my insides.

Training close to torture, actual torture far more painful than the training.

Who would have known that the brave Sylvia, who endured all that, would collapse in loneliness and solitude in just four years.

The guilt of not protecting his comrades and the guilt of slaughtering the villagers tears his heart apart every night.

Who could have predicted that I, who had endured all the hardships in silence, would not be able to endure the mental pain to the end and shed tears like a little girl every night.

So, can Ash stand it?

The time that even I couldn’t stand?

Ash, like Sylvia, was also overcome with the pain and sorrow of losing his family and the guilt of not being able to protect his little sister, and was barely holding on to his torn, messed up mind.

Seeing him focus on cooking or training seemed like a struggle to forget the pain.

In fact, for the past week, he would spend a lot of time tending to his sister’s grave with a tired body every day while training to be beaten on the ice.

Occasionally, if you secretly hide and watch Ash, you could easily find him laughing and crying while talking to Lila.

Sylvia quietly brushed his cheek, thinking about the similarities between her and Ash’s circumstances.

At that moment, an idea quickly popped into Sylvia’s head.

It was a thought that had passed through her mind a few days ago.

A surefire way to make Ash never leave me.

There is nothing like that.

After all, we are bound by the same curse, he had nothing to do with me, and all she could offer Ash was protection that would last only as long as he was weak now.

but,

“Lyla.”

He will never leave RYLA.

He never leaves his family.

One day, his footsteps may become less and less likely to visit Laila’s grave, but the fact that Ash had a sister named ‘Laila’ does not disappear.

That relationship never goes away.

“family…”

Sylvia got up from her chair and slithered onto the bed.

“Ash… doesn’t leave the family?”

Ash didn’t answer.

just a faint breath.

“When we become a family… you won’t leave me, will you?”

sap, sap,

His breathing sounded like an affirmation.

yes,

Ash is a good kid.

I will never leave my family

And outside of this forest, he already had no family left.

“How can I… be a family?”

The stupid question she uttered wholeheartedly.

In a way, it was pure curiosity.

Sylvia had never had a family.

What is a family?

How are you a family?

If we live together and eat together, are we family?

So am I already family with Ash?

If that’s the case, are all my classmates who were trained the same way I was when I was trained as an enlisted soldier of an aristocrat?

Are the companions who tried to subdue the demon king together, the hired adventurers, and the soldiers all family?

Probably not.

Among his colleagues, Chris, who was a heavy warrior, had a family from a ducal family, and Archer Layty, who was an elf, also said that he had a family waiting for him in his hometown.

If we were a family, those adventurers wouldn’t have complained about wanting to have a family.

I don’t even know where the motives who trained together are now and what they are doing.

Even they are not my family, so it would be even more difficult to call Ash, who has lived together for a little over a month, even more difficult.

family.

How to become a family

Didn’t family usually mean blood ties?

How can I be related to Ash?

Should I adopt Ash?

Ha, living in the woods, where can I get an adoption certificate?

What should I do?

How can I become Ash’s family?

Sylvia was genuinely curious.

She was confused because she had never had a family or loved someone in her entire life, and the only close human relationships were friends and colleagues.

It is a contemplation that started to solve the confusion in the first place, but instead the confusion only grows.

In Sylvia’s head, the twisted impulses created by the chaos began to grow.

I want to be his mother, I want to be his sister, I want to be his older sister.

At least I wanted to be his relative.

However, I couldn’t figure out how to do that.

“…Ash, what should I do?”

Sylvia slowly spread her legs over Ash’s body and climbed onto it.

Then he slowly lowered his upper body and approached Ash’s face.

Her arms gripped Ash’s sleeping face tightly.

A sticky, unpleasant obsession leaked out of her red eyes.

She whispered softly enough not to wake the sleeping Ash.

“How can I be your mother? How can I be your sister? How can I be your sister? How can I be your aunt? How can I be your nephew? how do i do it how? how?”

Ash didn’t answer.

Sylvia thrust her nose into Ash’s nape slowly, just like it did on that day a few weeks ago.

The sweet, salty smell of flesh began to seep into her mind.

It felt as if Ash was entering his body.

Even so, she wanted to put Ash in her body.

I wondered if this was what I had to do in order to become related to him, who did not mix a drop of blood.

“Ha ha. Ha ha… Ash.”

As her mind became dizzy, Sylvia looked at Ash with wide open eyes.

Could it be because Sylvia’s body temperature rose?

His scent seemed to spread more and more intensely.

It’s so thick that it feels a bit strong.

Sylvia smiled twistedly, thinking that she could understand the fly’s feelings about the peach.

For some reason, a strange urge to eat Ash gradually took over her.

Sylvia covered the nape of Ash’s neck with her lips.

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