I Joined the Sentai Heroes Who Were Beautiful Girls Other Than Me but the Heroines Were All Yanderangers - I Joined the Sentai Heroes Who Were Beautiful Girls Other Than Me but the Heroines Were All Yanderangers chapter 87

87. The Girl Named Kwarehibashi Hinawari 3

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Lately, I’ve been having strange dreams.

The dream from that day, but it’s a slightly different dream.

In the closet of the house of the ‘fake family’ where I used to live, I’m huddled up small, holding my breath, and I’m terrified of something. I’m supposed to be unable to hear the creepy sounds coming from the other side of the cheap, splintered wooden planks. All I can do is tremble in fear that I don’t know when it will end.

When I close my eyes, I can picture an even scarier scene. My fake brother hurting me, and my fake father and mother looking down at me with pity in their eyes. The pitch-black reality was scary, but the unpleasant memories of that time, crumpled up in the corner of my memory, were also scary, and I gave up and looked into the darkness.

When I’m unable to do anything, when I have nothing, and when all I can do is endure, when I’m unable to open the closet door no matter how long it takes, a light suddenly shines in. And there, my older brother is standing.

My older brother spreads his arms and says, “Hinawari,” and I start to cry tears of relief and joy, and I can’t help but hug him. Then, as always, my older brother strokes my hair with his warm, large hands. I’m incredibly happy that my older brother’s arms curve gently to fit the roundness of my head, and I don’t ever want to leave my older brother’s arms, and then, I always wake up there.

“I… like to rely on my older brother.”

My real family, who I had been searching for all this time. My gentle older brother who taught me that my love was wrong. He doesn’t abandon me, he doesn’t hurt me, and he cherishes me even though I’m no good. My older brother is the most important person to me. My only family.

But lately, my chest hurts when I think about my older brother. It’s a strange pain, like I’m hiding something bad, like I want to keep it a secret from everyone. I can’t sleep much at night either.

The first time it hurt was probably when I found out that Tokiwa Uguisu was my older brother’s bride. When I imagined my older brother, who was supposed to be happy, for some reason I felt incredibly miserable. The fact that I wasn’t in my older brother’s happy scene made me miserable, and I wanted to destroy it. I tried to endure it, but I couldn’t.

When I heard that the relationship between my older brother and his bride was a lie, my pain disappeared for a moment. And then I realized something: maybe this painful and miserable feeling was ‘jealousy.’ I shouldn’t have such feelings, but this feeling sometimes appears and keeps me from sleeping.

I have only one older brother, but he has many girls. I hated the fact that I knew it, and I wanted to punish myself for thinking that way. My body belongs to my brother, so I can’t do that, which is frustrating. Only my brother is allowed to hurt me. My brother will not hurt me. That’s why I’ve always been happy. But now, I don’t know if I’m happy.

I finally met the real older brother I had been waiting for. He was very kind to me and even worried about my body. I don’t have to be my brother’s number one. If my brother touches many people, makes them happy, and gives me a little bit of what’s left, that’s enough. I was supposed to be satisfied. Before I knew it, I was so happy that I wanted more happiness.

It’s my fault. I’m selfish. I’ve become a bad boy who thinks it’s nice to have an older brother who works hard for me and doesn’t want to see his older brother help others. I hurt other heroes, caused a lot of trouble, and strangely enough, I have feelings that I’t have, like “I want to be your bride.”

I’ve come to like Sora-nii so much that I want to monopolize him.

I was troubled. It was the first time I had such a clear feeling that I couldn’t argue against. I didn’t know what to do because I had never felt so strongly before. It was the first time I had felt this kind of “like,” so I didn’t know how to erase it or hide it.

It’s a betrayal of my brother as a family member for me, his sister, to fall in love with him. I must never betray my brother. I shouldn’t have any secrets. My whole life is based on my brother.

That’s why I needed to confess. It doesn’t matter what I want to do or what I want to be. I have to tell my brother how I feel now, what I think now, and ask him what to do. If I have changed, I want to explain it to my brother exactly as it is and let him decide. And if it’s a nuisance, I want him to tell me how to get rid of this feeling. It seems that this feeling is not weak enough for me to handle on my own.

“…But if I were your bride. I would definitely love you more than anyone else.”

I love my brother the most. So if possible, if it could come true, if my brother would be troubled to think about it, I would like to be a candidate to be my brother’s bride. I will do anything that makes my brother happy , and I will support him even if he tries to conquer the world.

“So, won’t you choose me?”

I really want to be loved the most, but if that’s not possible, I don’t need to be loved. I just want you to choose me. If that’s not possible, I’ll be second or third, but I want to be by your side. Even if my brother finds someone really important, I want him to keep me by his side as a precious sister. I love him very much, but I think I can stop being selfish if I can be by my brother’s side.

I’ll try my best to be patient with the leftovers this time.

“So hurry up, I want to hear your answer, brother…”

I checked my watch over and over again at the station entrance, three hours after our scheduled meeting time.

The number of people in suits gradually decreased, and the lights in the station’s bookstore and delicatessen went out. I noticed the word “last train” on the electronic bulletin board beyond the ticket gate and moved outside the station.

I was “waiting” for my brother in the middle of the night when I couldn’t see the moon.

My brother didn’t show up even when the first train came.

“I want to see you soon.”