I Was Sick of Loving You

32 – alcohol

I wake up in a room with no light coming in by covering the window with a black cloth. In a hazy mind, I look around. Empty bottles roll around. Looking at the bottles, he realizes that, as usual, he fell asleep while drinking.

After realizing it, the energy of sleep disappears, and the mind returns a little. Then came the curse that eats me.

My head is ringing. My wife’s plaintive cries echo in my head. It’s been more than ten years, but I can’t get away from my wife’s death every day.

every day is hell I’d rather die. I’m tired and want to let go of life, but I can’t let go of my daughter who looks like her.

That’s why I can’t die and drink strong alcohol. Because his body was pickled as he was supposed to be, he could no longer feel the scent and taste of alcohol. The body beyond human limits drives away the spirit of alcohol. I don’t like it.

I’m cursed and have to spend my life in screams, but my body, which I trained needlessly, can’t even give me a handful of help.

It’s okay though. It’s okay because the useless accumulated wealth provides enough alcohol to kill the body. I reached out my hand for the rotten liquor and poured it into my mouth.

A faint alcohol that will soon disappear runs through your body, and the sound of crying subsides. Then I turn my head a bit. Now that I’m feeling a little better, I have to work.

what were you going to do…

I don’t remember very well. it was something important This is the problem. I can’t hear the sound of crying when I drink, but my memory is hazy. Looking around to try to remember what to do, I see papers lying among the bottles. My daughter’s handwriting catches my eye. Only then does the memory come back a bit.

Yes, the witch’s abode. there was something like that

A drunken mind reacts to the word witch, and the heart is stirred. Emotions that I have not felt other than sadness are ignited. And it quickly turns off.

The broken ones have nothing left to burn, so the fire cannot burn any more. Another feeling of helplessness weighs me down. Thoughts of wanting to get rid of them all come to mind, but I struggle to put those thoughts aside and go through the papers.

In the daughter’s report, it was written about the library she saw in the witch’s dwelling, the bodies and relics of dead gods, and the witch’s diary.

It’s a troublesome story one by one, but it’s not bad. You may find a clue to break this damn curse. There is a possibility that he will do something for his daughter who has not done anything for the last time.

“Is that so?”

The voice of the woman I want to kill rings out. Emotions return and a voice that is heard once in a while. witch’s thoughts.

The witch’s thoughts passed, and my head rang again. The broken reason screams. Reason screams, but you have to hold on a little longer. It’s already broken enough to break, but it shouldn’t be completely broken. The hope she has known so far is in front of her, so it must not be shattered just yet.

In order to stop passing this pain on to her daughter who has not been able to do anything for her, she clutches at her broken spirit and pours in alcohol.

Forcibly rolling his head soaked in alcohol, he makes plans for an expedition to send to the witch’s residence. As I was struggling with burning the few leftovers in my heart, I heard a knock.

“Come in.”

The door opens, and a man with no reason to come here enters. daughter’s fiancé. Alik Norman comes in and sits in front of me.

The look of it frowns a little. And that frown didn’t last long.

Pale complexion, eyes full of despair, unstable breathing. It looks like a person who is starting to break down.

weird. When I saw him not long ago, he seemed bold and upright. He didn’t look like a person who would collapse in just a few days, so why do he look like a person who is breaking down?

While thinking so, he opens his mouth.

“I’m here to get the drink you recommended the other day.”

He reveals that he has come to receive a friend of the crumbling ones. That’s not a very good sign. However, people with faces like that throw alcohol because they know they can’t survive without alcohol.

He takes the drink and drinks it hastily. Strong alcohol goes to the bottom in an instant. It looked just like us.

I don’t like the fact that the person my daughter has a crush on is acting like this, or that she’s similar to me when I was starting to break down.

And I sympathize with you because I know how you feel.

Take out a lot of alcohol and stretch it out. Seeing him holding a bottle in his hand and drinking nonstop makes me feel strange and it seems wrong to work.

Put the papers to the back and have a drink. A drink that has no taste is bitter. It’s the bitter taste I felt when I first drank it. I don’t like it, but I just drink. In the room, only the sound of putting down an empty bottle and drinking lingers.

Time passes and my mind gets a little hazy. I look at the man in front of me with slightly shaky vision. The pale face turned red, and the eyes that were filled with despair contained tears and sorrow.

The taste of the drink is off.

While thinking so, he opens his mouth.

“I think the Duke is right.”

It’s a fearless word. It sounds like the whining of a drunk. The emotion in that voice was too dark to ignore like that.

“I think I… ruined Iris’s life.”

At my words that emotions are useless, the one who was angry like a fire disappeared. What does he say because he saw it? can not understand,

It just annoys me. If you were going to say that, you shouldn’t arouse your daughter’s feelings in the first place… No, it’s all my fault. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t chosen him as my daughter’s fiancé. My daughter would live without knowing pain, with her emotions dead, and that young man would never have felt that kind of emotion.

There is no such thing as making the right choice.

A sense of wonder creeps in. That feeling weighs me down.

I can live with these feelings. Ruined the life of a loved one and made him die in sorrow. Unable to find a way to break the daughter’s curse, he brainwashed her into thinking that her emotions were useless and killed her family.

He suffers because he is such an ugly person, but that young man has no reason to do so. So open your mouth

“Stop the bullshit. My daughter’s life isn’t ruined yet.”

I deny his dark words and the words I poured out on him.

“Since you’ve been cursed, your daughter’s life has already been ruined.”

The witch’s thoughts whisper to me again and curse me. stab a broken heart My head is ringing.

“Stop whining about things that never happened!”

“It will happen soon.”

The witch’s thoughts continued to curse, and the pain in her head intensified.

“I don’t know what you see, what you think, and what you say. But, that doesn’t necessarily happen.”

“No, be sure to wake up.”

The voice of thought grows louder.

“So don’t get drunk, stop talking nonsense and get out of here!”

“It’s not bullshit.”

Beyond the sound of thoughts, the wife’s cries are heard. My head hurts like it’s going to break.

Grinding his teeth, ignoring the sound of his thoughts, his wife’s cries, and the crushing pain in his head. I ignore it, and spit out what I want to say to the man in front of me and to me.

“Don’t act like an idiot, do what you can.”

“There is nothing you can do.”

The man in front of me stares blankly at me. Several emotions pass through the man’s eyes. I can’t know all those passing emotions, but it’s better than the eyes of losers.

After a moment of silence, the man opens his mouth.

“sorry. I was talking nonsense.”

The man said that, got up, bowed his head to me once, and left the sick room. And from beyond the door, a word is heard.

“thank you.”

Ignore that. I don’t deserve any thanks. I didn’t want to see him pathetic, so I just spit out the things I wanted to say to him.

Thinking so, I looked around the messy room. A black cloth blocking the windows to prevent light from entering, countless empty bottles rolling on the floor, and a display case filled with bottles filling the walls. I don’t like everything. I don’t like it because it shows my sick condition as it is.

The time has come to clean up. Ring the bell to call the butler, and remove the black cloth blocking the window. A light that hurts the eyes comes in.

After a while, a knock is heard and the door opens.

“Did you call the Duke?”

“Okay, I need to clean this room. Throw away all the empty bottles, and distribute the alcohol to the knights and servants.”

At my words, the butler’s face shows embarrassment.

“Are you okay, Duke?”

There was concern in his voice. understand that heart My wife died and I couldn’t live without alcohol.

“Okay. So get it all out of my sight.”

“All right.”

The head butler goes outside to call the servants. He leaves and drives away the alcohol left in his body. The strong spirit of alcohol escapes from the body, and a disgusting smell wafts out.

As the alcohol drains from his body, his wife’s cries can be clearly heard. It eats me up and chokes me.

The feeling calls out that the spirit needs a drink. Ignore it. It will be comfortable if you are pickled in alcohol. However, those who are pickled in alcohol cannot hold on to hope. can’t draw the future

So better to hear it mothballing me. Even if I am crushed at the end, I have to endure the consequences of my sins because there is something I have to do.

As if he had read my thoughts, I could hear the laughter of thoughts. Emotions run wild at the sound of that goddamn laugh.

Ignoring the pain in my head and the sound of my thoughts, I use the fluctuating emotions as firewood to kindle a fire in my heart. And, drawing on her daughter’s happiness, she immerses herself in work.