I Was Sick of Loving You - I Was Sick of Loving You chapter 41

41 – Resounding voice and confession

The woman whom I loved enough to give my life was written down.

The fallen woman coughed up blood and struggled to move her mouth. No voice came out of the woman’s mouth. Only the lips moved.

Not even allowed to speak, the hard mouth produced a single word.

‘Run away.’

Those words pierce the pathetic me.

what am i here for…

With the ominous feeling surrounding me, I followed because I couldn’t let her go alone. I wanted to help. I didn’t want to send her to limb. In a life where nothing was protected, I wanted to protect her.

However, I was of no help. Rather, it became a burden to receive help, and did nothing.

That fact rips me apart. heart is torn Longing for happiness, I am being torn apart. The me who loved her is torn apart.

Even as they are being torn apart, they are caught in the hands of monsters and cannot do anything. that’s my reality

Reality oppresses me, and a voice echoes from deeper than my heart.

‘Did I regret and deny my past life for this reality?’

not. I just wanted to be happy.

‘Are you frustrated by burying children in your heart for this reality?’

not. With what mind did I bury my children, would I have hoped for a reality like this?

‘For the sake of this reality, did I love her again while ignoring the scars?’

not. I didn’t fall in love again just for the sake of this reality, ignoring the pain.

‘Then, am I weak enough to be frustrated by reality?’

not. To deny the terrible reality, the life of struggling is my life.

‘Then why are you frustrated?’

I don’t know. I can’t remember the pain tearing me apart.

‘Then don’t think. Raise your sword.’

no sword

‘Don’t think stupid things. Raise your sword.’

A strange feeling surrounds me at the sound of a deep voice. The sensation made my body move. I stretched out my hand and drew a line. The line, which did not contain even a handful of mana, cut through the red light and cut off the monster’s hand.

With the monster’s surprised expression, freedom came to the hand that was being held.

‘Raise your sword.’

I reached out my hand to that voice that kept ringing. With a sense of something familiar, a blue light came into my hand. The two daggers of blue light are combined to become one sword.

A blue light is added to the strange sensation, and a hazy feeling as if walking in a dream comes. I swing my sword in haze. The blue light adds strength to the sword, pushing away the red light and cutting it.

At the same time as cutting it, it forgets its imprinted unapproachable presence. And the past life passes by, and is contained in the sword.

The sword imbued with pain extends while crying. My life touches the monster, cuts it. Red rain scatters, and screams resound.

The scream echoes in my head, and countless red lines attack me. My life drew the moon in blue light and cut off the red line. The red lines scatter, and red thorns grow in the scattered places to stab me.

My life depicts the spring I dreamed of. A blue wind blows, and red and green flowers bloom and scatter. Flames engulf the world where petals scatter.

In order to quench the sparks that interfere with the overall picture, I stretched out the light. Lights and flames intertwine, explode, and lingering fire strikes me.

hot. The heat burns me, but since a greater pain is already there, the heat becomes infinitely smaller.

Ignoring the infinitely smaller heat, I stretched out my life once again. The red rain was scattered, and the rain rose and created a red cup.

The red river flows from the red cup, and the world is colored. The world threatens my life and tries to devour it.

I hate the world that threatens and denies my life, and draws a line. A weak line collides with the world and breaks. Looking at the broken line, I drew a line again. I added another line to the drawn line and added life.

The world is fragmented in the blue light added with life, and the red color is scattered. Blue light fills the place where red is scattered.

In a world with blue light, the only remaining red light attacks me. Swallowing everything, not avoiding the tearing light, I moved forward and stretched out my life.

The red light meets my life, and an irresistible force oppresses me. Even if I bite my teeth hard and support it, it is pushed away little by little.

‘Is that all of you?’

A voice echoes again, and the question of the voice is denied.

not. My life is not light enough to be crushed and pushed away by evil.

In order not to be pushed out, life stretches forward. And a strange sensation pushes me. With the pushing force, life stretches and moves forward.

The blue light, which had only been pushed out, shone brightly, pushing out the red light. And a momentary gap was created, and I denied red with my life.

Red cracks and blood splatters. Cracked, the fallen red vomited a curse.

“What do you think will change if you do this? Your life has already been doomed by a curse, and the curse cannot be lifted.”

The curse of the monster’s evil overtook me, and the voice that echoed from the deepest depths borrowed my mouth.

“Even if I am destroyed because of the curse, I will struggle. Even if this life fails, I will overcome it even if I become a different person.”

“…then, I will await your destruction in death.”

With those words, the monster’s body melted into a handful of blood, and the red cup floating in the sky lost its light and fell.

They announced that the struggle was over.

Strange sensations and light scattered, bringing pain and physical screams. They rang in my head, but I ignored it and moved on.

My steps stopped in front of the painful love and I reached out my hand. You can feel the faint breathing and pulse at your fingertips. Gratitude for that fact, I poured the remaining potion into her mouth.

Even after pouring all the remaining potions, her pale complexion and feeble breathing did not change. it rips me apart

“Please wait a minute.”

The princess’s voice echoed in my head. I looked around at the voice, but the princess was nowhere to be seen. Several thoughts came up in that situation, but they were discarded because they were useless.

He waits impatiently for the princess, holding the dying girl in his arms. Even though it was a short time, a very long time passed, and a golden wave flowed down the stairs. The flowing water covered the space and embraced us.

A feeling of coziness and warmth flooded in, and the body that had been screaming fell silent. And as life faded, her pale face revived, and her faint breathing stabilized.

He hadn’t opened his eyes yet, but he could tell that the crisis had passed, so he embraced her happily.

“Because of me… I’m sorry.”

The voice of the weeping princess came from beyond the water. He resented the princess, who was the cause, but she was also a victim. Everyone here is a victim. Without reprimanding her, I opened my mouth to relieve her guilt.

“Your Highness, don’t feel guilty. Your Highness is also just a victim.”

“Even so…”

In order to cut off the princess who was about to say something remorseful, she opened her mouth.

“We are the ones who took up the sword ourselves and chose our responsibilities with our own will. So don’t beat yourself up. It makes their spirits fade.”

“… I know.”

The golden wave dissipated, revealing the red-eyed princess and her escort.

“Then, I will correct my words. Thank you for saving me. I will never forget this grace.”

It goes against the etiquette, but since the honest words permeated my heart, I didn’t point it out.

And she opened her mouth to hear what she was already sure of.

“Your Highness, I have something to ask you.”

“Anything I can answer, I will answer everything.”

“Have you received Armis-sama’s blessing?”

The escort’s expression turned pale at those words, but the princess ignored it and opened her mouth.

“Yes. I am undeservedly blessed by him.”

What I was sure of, became true. So, now is the time to check your hopes.

“Then, I have a request for you.”

“I will do everything I can.”

“Please cure the princess’s curse.”

After my words finished, a golden wave flowed from around the princess and wrapped around her. As time passed, the princess’ forehead became pale with beads of sweat, and golden waves scattered.

“sorry. It is impossible on my own.”

There is a sense of shame in those words. A ray of hope was dashed again. In the place where hope was broken, the conversations I had with unknown voices come to mind. I held on to the hope that those conversations would break down.

“Her Highness, the princess, I will leave for a while.”

“All right.”

With her quietly asleep in his arms, he moved to the assigned room. I laid her down on the bed, held her hand, and poured out my heart.

“I loved you. And I was sick of love. That’s why I pushed you away. I pushed it away, but I denied it even though I was shaken by your approaching appearance. I denied it, and I denied it again, and I was shaken again as I spent time with you.”

He cleared his trembling throat and opened his mouth again.

“In my fading consciousness, I abandoned my heart that was denied by your tears. You hurt me, but you weren’t the one who hurt me again, so I threw away my denial. And I have admitted that I love you.”

My throat is shaking again. Holding down his trembling neck, he continued his speech.

“I did admit it, but the wounds were too deep and I didn’t approach. I didn’t express my feelings. I was standing in an ambiguous position, accepting only your heart… After that time passed, I met today.”

It started to rain.

“And, seeing you fall down, I regretted it. The thought that I might not be able to convey my feelings and send you away weighed on me. Even though I was so crushed, the coward who was frightened by the wounds couldn’t convey it to you when you were awake. I confess while looking at you who are asleep.

“Iris, I love you.”

For the first time, he told her what he had said so much in the life he had left behind. I conveyed my feelings and borrowed the words of the voice that borrowed my mouth.

“Even if the curse swallows you, I will struggle to save you. Even if this life fails, I will come back to save you. my love.”

Holding her hand, I swore an oath of life.