I Was Sick of Loving You - I Was Sick of Loving You chapter 46

46 – Deserts and worries, a beating heart

A month has passed since the day I started calling Iris by name. In the meantime, some of the contents of the revelation handed over by the princess were shared with Iris, Rachel, and the former father-in-law, and they succeeded in finding out the location of the revelation.

A land of sand where even a handful of water is hard to find located in the east, a miracle sleeping there.

It was easy to identify the sandy ground. Speaking of the land of sand to the east, there was nothing but the desert in Newdel Kingdom.

However, the process of specifying the location of the miracle was a bit difficult. Despite mobilizing all the information power of the duchy and receiving help from the princess, who became a symbol of state religion, the location could not be identified.

In the middle of such a bleak time, the search team was able to find the clue in the book found by the search team searching the witch’s residence.

In the book titled “Traces of the Creator”, there was a description of the Creator’s prank and mercy in the sea of sand. I devoured that part and the book several times, organized and copied the necessary information.

Based on that, we made plans and prepared to visit the place. And today, I set foot on a land where even a handful of water could not be found.

The environment that welcomed us was a bit cruel.

The steps taken diligently are sinking, gnawing away at the stamina, and a dry wind brimming with heat blows. The wind leaves behind heated sand as if leaving traces of itself.

As I brushed off the traces of the wind that stimulated my skin along with the heat, the sunlight that was covered by my clothes stung my skin. And the sunlight and heat that provided the sting made his mouth burn and gnawed at his stamina.

The environment, where not even a trace of the season in which the world freezes, can be found, was very unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Enduring the inconvenience, I diligently moved on, checking the enchanted map that showed me the way from time to time.

“Brother, give me some water.”

He said he wanted to check out the miracle, and handed the canteen to Rachel, who had followed him, and opened his mouth to ask for it.

“Drink sparingly.”

“yes~.”

Rachel replied with her tail stretched out, taking it as if stealing a canteen, and then gulped down. I brought plenty of water, but I sighed at the sight of ignoring the request I had just made.

I sighed and looked at her to nag, but I didn’t even have the energy to nag at the sight of her wiping her mouth with a refreshing expression. I took my eyes off of Rachel, who made people feel excited, and looked at Iris, the furthest behind.

Her expression, a little dazed, catches my eye. She’s been making that face for days and I’m concerned about her. That emotion spurred his mouth and made him move.

“Iris, are you okay?”

“… uh, that’s fine.”

Because of the one-beat slow response and powerless voice, it didn’t look okay at all.

“It doesn’t look okay at all.”

“… It’s really okay, don’t worry.”

She forced a smile and pretended to be okay, which made me even more concerned. The feeling made me think that I should hold her and talk to her, but I had to hurry to get to a place to rest before nightfall, so I put that thought aside for a moment and looked ahead.

In a world where only hot heat and sand spread out, I moved a step full of worries. Time passed without anything special besides the chatty Rachel complaining that she was bored, and they arrived at the ruins, the first day’s resting place, before the day was over.

It is a worthless ruin to have all the resting places collapsed, but unlike the sandy world, there are fixed footings and walls to block the wind, so it was enough to take a rest.

There we put our things down and prepared for the night to come soon.

I pitched my tent where the strongest-looking wall was, and checked my surroundings for a moment to see if there were any threats.

As a matter of course, there was nothing but the decaying remains of the ruins, let alone threats.

When he checked all the surroundings of such empty ruins, darkness gradually spread and the sun-heated air began to cool rapidly.

In the rapidly cooling air, I changed into the thick clothes I prepared in advance and lit a fire. As the fire was lit and dinner was prepared with plenty of water and ingredients, the darkness gradually covered the world.

A cool wind blew through the dark world.

“Ugh, it was hot just a moment ago, but it gets cold right away.”

“Sure, that is. I confirmed it in the literature, but it is amazing to experience it.”

He agreed with Rachel’s words while sweeping her arms as if making a fuss, and handed the finished stew to Rachel and Iris.

“thank you for this food!”

“thank you for this food…”

A lively voice mixed with a weak voice echoed, and silence came. In the silence, I passed the stew roughly and checked the condition of Iris.

I was still so concerned about the blank look and the slow way the stew was passing, that I couldn’t even properly taste the stew passing by in my mouth.

“Brother, give me more.”

“yes.”

I poured more stew into Rachel’s bowl and talked to Iris.

“Would you like more?”

“… that’s fine. I have had enough of this.”

Seeing her saying that she had enough without eating even half of her usual amount of food, her concern turned into worry and anxiety.

“Tomorrow you have to walk more than today, so you should eat more for your physical strength.”

“… then, give me a little more.”

I took her bowl and filled it up.

“I said just a little bit…”

“I just gave you a little.”

She weakly took the bowl and emptied it at a slow pace. Seeing her struggling to empty at a slow pace, the worry and anxiety grew in size without diminishing.

“I ate them all.”

The meal ended with her words. I cleaned up and went to see her.

She stared blankly into the air from inside the tent, not even noticing that I was approaching.

“Iris.”

“Oh, when did you come?”

“I just came.”

The figure that I only noticed after calling her and the powerless voice keep scratching my heart.

“Iris, please answer honestly. Are you really okay?”

“…”

She couldn’t answer my question. However, it was also the answer.

“The answer is sufficient. Iris, I won’t ask you any more questions that are hard for you to answer. However, if it is difficult, always tell me.”

“… I guess.”

At her helpless reply, the anxiety increased. Feeling insecure, he opened his mouth again while holding her hand and making eye contact with her.

“Iris, going to the place where the miracle rests is important, but less important than you. We still have a lot of time…”

“No!”

She suddenly screamed and cut me off. A disturbed expression passed across her face, and a puzzled expression took its place.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you all of a sudden.”

“No, thanks.”

Putting aside my embarrassment, I answered her apology in a calm voice. Even in my answer, her expression did not resolve, and complex emotions passed through her eyes.

And her mouth opened and closed for a moment, repeating. I waited patiently for her words. After a while, she opened her mouth.

“I don’t want to lie to you, so I will be honest. It’s not in good shape.”

I felt relieved by her honest words, but at the same time I felt uneasy.

“But it’s not bad enough to give up the journey now, so don’t worry too much.”

After saying that, he held my hand and smiled lightly.

“Still, I feel that you care about me, so I feel a little better.”

“I’m glad you said that.”

Feeling the warmth in his hands, he smiled. After a while, the warmth went away. The warmth that escaped from my hands twitched, and her mouth opened.

“Is what you said last time still valid?”

It’s a bit rambling, but I could tell it was the promise of the day she cried.

“Always valid.”

“Then, just close your eyes for a moment and be still.”

As I closed my eyes at her words, I felt the fragrant scent and the warmth of my arms. The warmth lingered in his arms, and after a while the warmth spread along with a soft touch to his cheek.

The touch slowed my thinking and stimulated my heart to beat.

The sensations opened my eyes spontaneously, and her hand covered mine.

“I haven’t told you that you can open your eyes yet. Just close your eyes for a little while longer.”

I heard her voice tremble a little, and I saw her reddened figure between her fingers. Seeing that, the beating of his heart grew stronger.

“Today’s night watch, I will stand first, and you will stand last.”

Forgetting the fact that there was no need for a vigil because it was a desert without anything, she said that and hurriedly ran away from my sight.

I stared blankly at her quickly disappearing, and lost myself in the aftertaste that lingered on my cheek.