I Was Sick of Loving You - I Was Sick of Loving You chapter 47

47 – Encroaching Curse

The day I was drowning in my dreams. His warmth saved me, and I stopped dreaming.

It was happy, but strangely bothered. I lived my life with such complicated emotions settled in a corner of my heart.

The day when those complex emotions were diluted with time and forgotten. A small change has occurred.

A woman’s laughter began to be heard in the absence of anyone. The sound of unknown laughter lingered in my ears for a while before dissipating. At first I didn’t care too much. However, as the days went by, I heard that laugh more often, and a strange feeling came.

Feelings that were too heavy to be called drowsiness and light to be called emptiness piled up in my heart drop by drop, slowly staining me.

As time passed as those strange feelings piled up, I slowly felt that something was wrong.

I felt strange for the first time during tea time with Alik.

The incense that comforted the weary spirit is no longer fragrant. The warmth and pounding of that time had faded.

At first, I thought it was because I often enjoyed tea time. And that thought didn’t go far.

a sunny day. I called him on the pretext of inspecting people’s livelihood and went around the city.

Normally, overflowing warmth should fill me, but it did not fill me. It was strange, and when I held his hand, my heart, which should have been beating like crazy, calmed down.

They denied and ignored the phenomena that were different from usual. And the things I ignored gradually piled up, making it impossible to look away.

The time spent with Alik began to fade, and the warmth that filled his heart began to lose its warmth.

Along with those phenomena, emotions were blunted.

The annoyance and annoyance that gave me headaches are gone. The joy that sweet desserts used to provide is gone. The feeling of pride and satisfaction after completing training is gone. The sadness that his father’s shady face had given him was gone.

The pounding that had been given by waiting for Alik faded. Memories with him, which I chewed over every day, faded and became blurred. His warmth could no longer fully color my heart.

Even as all those things piled up, I denied them over and over again. However, denial did not cover the reality.

My denying mind lost its power, and I accepted reality.

Thanks to the time I had with him, the curse I had forgotten for a while began to eat away at me. That’s the reality.

The moment I realized the reality, I heard the laughter that had been ringing in my ears every day again. The laugh sounded like a mocking sneer.

I didn’t want to hear it, so I covered my ears, but the laughter didn’t go away. Rather, it grew bigger and shook my dull heart.

The strange laughter disappeared, and the voice of a woman filled with horror and ominousness heard in the dream resounded.

‘I’ll feel comfortable soon.’

The voice dissipated, and a strange feeling of emptiness filled my heart. Her heart, soaked in that emotion, vomited out colors and became cloudy.

Confusion faded in the clouded mind, and peace came. Even though peace has come, I don’t like it.

If you leave your body in that peace, it will be calm and calm like the world before meeting him. If that happens, there will be no more sorrow and no more suffering.

But, what does that mean?

As if a bird in a cage that knew freedom could no longer live in the cage. Knowing happiness and his warmth, I cannot live in such a world.

Knowing that, I put everything off and spent all my time looking for clues to break the curse.

With that time, emotions continued to wear out, and the world lost its color.

I couldn’t think of anything about that scene, but the fact that even my time with Alic had almost lost its color made me a little sad.

On the day I felt a handful of sadness, I arrived at the land of revelation where not even a handful of water could be found.

As if the land were rejecting us, it gave us intense sunlight and hot sand winds.

They are insignificant, but today I often hear the sound of a woman’s laughter, and my mind is hazy. In the midst of those sensations, I moved on in a daze.

While such worthless time passed, I heard a sound other than laughter in my ears.

“Iris, are you okay?”

The vagueness dissipated a little at the sound of his voice calling my name.

“It’s fine.”

I answered as soon as I heard his voice, but for some reason he looked at me with worried eyes. Then he opened his mouth again.

“It doesn’t look okay at all.”

“I’m really fine, don’t worry.”

He answered his question in the same way, and soon after, his gaze was withdrawn. As soon as his gaze disappeared, a thick haze spread over me and swallowed me.

In the midst of the hazyness and the constant laughter, I arrived at the resting place as I moved my steps. We prepared the night there, and meal time came.

A nice aroma wafted from the stew he was making. However, the appetite did not turn.

It’s normal to be hungry because your stamina is consumed in the first environment you encounter, but I didn’t and I was just in a daze.

In the haze, Rachel and his brief conversation came and went. Perhaps because of the haze, their conversation could be heard indistinctly.

In the blur, I accepted the vessel he handed over. And the mouth moved on its own.

“thank you for this food.”

“thank you for this food!”

Rachel’s and mine’s voices intertwined. The sound dissipated, and I ate the stew.

I didn’t feel any taste in the stew today, and since I wasn’t hungry, the stew didn’t go over well. However, I don’t want to leave it because it’s food with his sincerity.

When I finished emptying the bowl with that thought, I heard his voice.

“Would you like more?”

Seeing him talking while looking at me, I pondered for a moment before opening my mouth.

“It’s okay. I have had enough of this.”

After I finished speaking, his eyes were filled with concern.

“Tomorrow you have to walk more than today, so you should eat more for your physical strength.”

I knew that, but I didn’t want to. However, seeing his worried eyes, I couldn’t refuse.

“Then give me a little more.”

With that said, I passed the bowl to him. The bowl he turned over was filled with stew. My mouth opened on its own at the sight.

“I said just a little bit.”

“I just gave you a little.”

At his firm words and lingering concern, I forced the stew over. As I forcibly passed the stew, the haze grew a little thicker.

In the thick haze, I passed the bowl to him.

“I ate them all.”

After saying that, I moved on and headed for the tent. Because of my hazy consciousness, I threw myself into the tent and stared blankly into space.

When I was immersed in that hazy, worthless time, I heard his voice and the haze faded.

“Iris.”

Hearing the voice ringing in my ears, I turned my eyes to see his face closer. The vagueness faded with the sense of close distance.

“When did you come?”

“I just came.”

Because of the closeness, the emotions displayed on his face were clearly visible. That feeling that could be easily grasped was worry.

It lessened the haze and brought back a little of the lost color.

“Iris, please answer honestly. Are you really okay?”

At his words full of worry, I couldn’t lie like I said during the day and stayed silent. The silence lingered for a moment and then his mouth opened.

“The answer is sufficient. Iris, I won’t ask you any more questions that are hard for you to answer. However, if it is difficult, always tell me.”

His words, filled with warmth, permeate my heart.

“Sure.”

Feeling that warmth, he answered sincerely, but the worry that was buried deep in his face did not disappear.

“Iris, going to the place where the miracle rests is important, but less important than you. We still have a lot of time…”

He tried to say that he had a lot of time, but his colorless heart stirred and his mouth moved.

“No!”

Without even thinking about it, my heart came out strongly. That intense heart came out, and the lost embarrassment came. And the fact that I screamed at him who worried about me, I felt sorry.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you all of a sudden.”

“No, thanks.”

He said that, but the feeling of regret and embarrassment did not disappear from my heart. He calmed down his fluctuating hearts and opened his mouth.

“I don’t want to lie to you, so I will be honest. It’s not in good shape.”

Concern grows on his face. Holding his hand, I spoke my mind.

“But it’s not bad enough to give up the journey now, so don’t worry too much.”

Even with those words, the worry did not disappear from his face. For some reason, seeing it warmed my heart. The warmth completely melted away the vagueness that remained.

“I’m glad you said that.”

He said that and smiled. In that smile, the colors of the faded world returned. Thoughts and hearts bloomed in that color.

The desire not to easily miss the returned color and the desire to leave a trace of this heart on him.

I opened my mouth to those blooming thoughts and hearts.

“Is what you said last time still valid?”

“Always valid.”

His soft reply gave me warmth and relief.

“Then, just close your eyes for a moment and be still.”

I hugged him with his eyes closed and savored his warmth. And to leave something a little bigger, I tiptoed over and kissed his cheek.

The warmth that comes from your mouth makes your face hot and your heart beats violently. You feel them, and you engrave this moment and this emotion into your heart.

As he cared so much, his eyes opened. Feeling ashamed of the situation, he covered his eyes with his hands.

“I haven’t told you that you can open your eyes yet. Just close your eyes for a little while longer.”

I said that out of shame.

“Today’s night watch, I will stand first, and you will stand last.”

After saying that to buy time to calm down this embarrassment, I hurriedly moved and ran away.

I fled because of my shame and leaned against the wall of the ruins, and I carved that shame into my heart as well.

Meanwhile, sadness came.

Knowing that even these engraved feelings and memories would soon fade, it was extremely sad.