I Was Sick of Loving You - I Was Sick of Loving You chapter 49

49 – Life and Trials I’ve Wanted So Much

The place where my pain and happiness permeate unfolds, and my heart is shaken.

A sense of bewilderment at the sight of a future that has suddenly unfolded and turned into a dream. Unforgettable sights, painful feelings rising from scars. Longing comes from the children in the portrait, and the emotions mix and fluctuate.

When I was confused in those emotions, I heard unforgettable voices along with the sound of the door opening.

“Dad, please read this today!”

“Brother, today is my turn.”

The driving force of my life and the voices of children who were my happiness. When I turned my eyes to the voice, I saw children who couldn’t even reach my chest, carrying books in their pajamas.

In the sight I thought I would never see again, the buried emotions come up and eat away at me. Those heavy emotions paralyzed reason and made me move.

He reached out to the children and stroked their hair. You can feel the soft hair and warmth of children in your hands. Those touches caused more ripples in my heart.

My body trembles from the ripples that ripple loudly. The trembling body bent its knees and hugged the children. Warmth came from his arms, and he whispered that this moment was not a lie.

I didn’t care if the whisper was false or not. No, I didn’t even think of that. I just wanted to be immersed in this warmth, so I didn’t think about anything.

“Dad, I’m choking.”

Hearing Ellie’s words in his ears, he released the children from his arms. Then reason began to return.

The returned reason denied the present scene and whispered that even this would be an ordeal. The whispers sounded so cruel.

After that cruel whisper, the heart whispered.

‘If not now, when will I see you? Just enjoy the moment.’

The whisper was so sweet, I couldn’t resist.

“I’ll read to you both, so don’t quarrel.”

As I said that and stroked the children’s heads, laughter bloomed. Even though that figure was unparalleled loveliness, a melancholy surged from a corner of her heart.

Feeling the bizarre feeling of happiness and melancholy, I took the children’s hands and went to bed. I let go of the warm and soft hands of the children and read the books they brought.

The laughter and reactions of children bursting out while reading books stimulated old memories and emotions, drawing me into the past.

Drenched in the past, I enjoyed the moment, and the children fell asleep as I reminisced about the happy times. He brushes the heads of sleeping children. The warmth that I feel in my hands makes my heart and head complicated.

‘For what kind of trial are you showing me this kind of scene?’

The question for which the answer could not be found resounded hollowly inside and scattered. That question dissipates, and a strange feeling overtakes me.

That strange feeling created haziness, and haziness blurred reason and memory. In a world where reason and memory are fuzzy, only emotions are clear. Time passed in such a strange state.

That time was entirely spent with the children, and that time erased complicated emotions and filled only with warmth.

The mind that the complexity was gone made me enjoy the time only. More than I dreamed of came true.

A life of waking up in the morning and greeting children with a smile.

A life of making food for the children to eat, cutting the food into bite-sized pieces, and placing it in the children’s bowls.

A life where you sit your children on your lap and read to them.

A life of taking a walk with your children in a flowery garden and telling them the names and language of flowers.

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Life holding children’s hands and traveling.

A life of giving a lap as a pillow to sleepy children.

A life of kissing children’s foreheads before going to bed and telling them to have a good dream.

A life that records time with children who grow up day by day.

It’s not special, it’s ordinary, but the time I longed for so much has passed and the children have grown up.

The children, now grown enough to leave my arms, grabbed my hands while covering my eyes. Holding the children’s hands, they walked as they wished. I stopped walking and the children removed the blindfold. The sight in my eyes that gained freedom soaked my heart.

Food that looks like the children made it themselves and a large phrase “Thank you for raising me, father!” written in children’s handwriting. And letters and boxes in the hands of children. The children put them down for a moment and hugged me.

“I was born as my father’s son and lived a life that no one envied. Thanks to our father who always thinks of us, we were able to grow up like this. My father is the greatest blessing and happiness in my life. If there is a next life, I want to be born again as my father’s son.”

“I was born as my father’s daughter and lived a happier life than anyone else. Thanks to my father who devoted himself to us every day, we were able to grow up like this. Dad, thank you so much and I love you! Please be our father again in the next life.”

Those words, conveyed with the warmth of the children, washed away the scars I couldn’t remember anymore and disappeared. The children came in and wet my heart, and a warm heart overflowed. The overflowing heart flowed into the eyes.

I opened my trembling mouth with a heart that could not be controlled to the point of overflowing.

“I too… I am happy that you are my children. I was lacking and an ugly father, but you guys laughed without complaining about anything. Because of you, my life was able to be so happy. Evan, Elijah. I really love you. Be born as my children in the next life.”

Thanks to the children, I was able to convey emotions that I could not express in words.

I conveyed that feeling and hugged the children who made such a happy life. I embraced the warmth I did not want to let go of, and let go of the emotions that were still overflowing. When the emotions subsided a little, the children opened their mouths.

“Father, the food will be cold now.”

“that’s right. I worked really hard to make this, but I think it will be sad when it cools down and loses its taste.”

“Okay, let’s eat quickly.”

The food with the children’s sincerity was the warmest and sweetest thing in my life. All the food that was a waste to eat went into our mouths and the children stood up. The children who stood up came with small boxes and held them out to me.

“Dad, please accept the present we have prepared for you.”

“I hope my father likes it.”

“I don’t know what it is, but that alone is enough to satisfy me.”

At my honest words, the children smiled.

“Dad, don’t be shy about saying embarrassing things.”

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Looking at Evan nodding his head as if agreeing with Ellie who said that, he just smiled.

“Dad, open it faster than that! I had a lot of trouble choosing it with my brother.”

“It’s not cool to say all those things.”

“Your brother is too picky about things like that, so it’s a problem.”

“You’re not asking too much.”

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Laughter erupted at the sight of the children arguing. He calmed down the laugh and opened the box. In a small box, there was a ceremonial dagger with a beautiful pattern engraved on it.

When I picked up the dagger that took my eyes off of me, it stuck to my hand and gave me great satisfaction.

Seeing the sincerity and effort of the children who had been looking for such a beautiful and precious dagger made my heart wet.

“Thank you very much. It is the sword I like the most in my life.”

The children laughed at my words and pushed the box in again.

“Are there any more?”

“of course! For today, I prepared well.”

“I said it before, but it’s better not to say that.”

“Brother, stop arguing about things like that!”

“Ahhh, younger brother who doesn’t know how to look cool.”

Also, the way they were cuddling was so cute.

“Anyway, open it quickly. You will love this one too.”

Upon opening the box at Ellie’s urging, a decorative cup tinged with gold was found. The cup was also engraved with the beautiful pattern I had seen on the dagger, and it was truly beautiful.

“It is a beautiful cup.”

“It’s beautiful, but it also has fun features.”

Saying that, Eli took the cup, set it on the ground, and rubbed the cup. The rubbed glass increased in size, and it became unreasonable to see it as a glass.

“It’s interesting, but at this size, it’s impossible to use it as a cup.”

“It’s a set with a dagger, so it’s like they’re items used for ceremonies.”

“I see. This must be precious, but how did you get it?”

“That is a secret.”

Ellie smiled as she said that. I didn’t ask more. I just appreciate the sincerity of the children.

“Evan, Elijah, thank you. I like all of your presents.”

“If you say so, the hard work is worth it.”

“that’s right. The hard work is worth it!”

The smiles on the children’s faces fill the hearts that are already full.

“And finally, please read this.”

I received the letter from Ellie and read it on the spot.

“Challenger, the time of trial has come. With the sword given to you, fill the cup with one person’s blood and flesh. That is an ordeal given to you.”

Along with the contents of the letter, memories that had been forgotten because they were blurry came back. The returned memories and filled hearts met, and they reacted violently.

The heart filled with memories and letters was torn apart, and the filled heart denied reality. With those reactions comes a sense of nausea.

“Who would you choose, father?”

“Who will you choose, Dad?”

With those words, the children thrust in the daggers they had put down for a while. it tore me apart And Rachel’s words pass through my mind.

‘Oh, but if I have to tell you one thing, if it’s hard, just give up. I mean it.’

Those words were reduced to their worst form.