I Was Sick of Loving You - I Was Sick of Loving You chapter 86

86 – Nightmare’s End

I fell asleep in the sunlight filtering through my closed eyes.

The only calm hour of my life was over and another day had begun.

that’s painful

I woke up after shaking off the remnants of my sleep because there was something I had to do even if I was in pain.

When I woke up, a cursed number greeted me.

[14-10-25]

I averted my eyes in despair at the number.

He rolled his eyes and reached for the bottle of wine lying next to him.

He poured the liquor into his mouth and emptied the full bottle.

The now familiar taste and aroma of alcohol spreads lightly, and there is a very slight spirit of alcohol.

It was embarrassing to call it alcoholism, and I heard her voice that I heard every day.

[I’ve lived together for over 10 years, but you never smile.]

The auditory hallucinations I hear every day break my heart again.

I am weighed down by my sinful karma.

Can’t stand it, look for alcohol.

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Looking for a drink but not seeing it.

[What do I mean to you?]

Her voice is heard again.

Her dead voice entangles me.

The strained voice reminds me of her sorrowful figure, and my already torn heart is torn apart.

Unable to bear it, I ran to the wine cellar.

Then, as you can see, the alcohol was poured.

[Just pretend you didn’t hear it.]

She pours in alcohol, but her voice doesn’t go away.

Still not enough alcohol.

The body that is pickled in alcohol every day is not satisfied with this much.

So I poured it in until I was satisfied.

It wasn’t until the empty bottles rolled around that I couldn’t hear her voice.

It wasn’t until I couldn’t hear the voice of the girl I loved that I was able to breathe.

that’s miserable

I, who can’t survive without alcohol,

I, who find my sin in the voice of my beloved and suffer,

It is unbearably miserable.

It’s so miserable that I want to stop breathing right now.

Even so, it cannot be.

Even if this place is a fantasy, I cannot tell my children such news.

I don’t want to place the curse on my life and the lives of Iris and the children.

And even if the breath is cut off, it can’t be because there is a curse again at the end.

They entangle me.

I can’t escape from this suffering.

There is no escaping this misery.

I just have to deal with them…

A sigh came out as I thought about it every day.

I let out a sigh, packed a lot of alcohol and headed for the office.

When I go back to the office, I can’t see the paperwork to be processed.

Seeing that scene brought back memories of being pickled in alcohol.

“Evan decided to take care of everything. Yes, it was.”

I remembered that my son, who had finished preparations for succession, was handling all the paperwork.

Do you remember that?

The fact that there is nothing I can do for my children now,

I was devastated that there was nothing that would make me forget, even for a moment, the thoughts that were eating me.

I returned to the room with a weak step.

Back in the room, empty bottles greeted me.

I laughed out loud when I saw that room.

“After all, me and Iris have become the same as my father-in-law.”

The person Iris and I admired the most.

And the one I was most disappointed with.

It was only when he put himself in the position of such a father-in-law that he understood everything about him.

Everyday drunk and ruined,

To say that I tried hard not to feel my daughter’s feelings,

I understood all the cries that seemed to vomit blood, saying that emotions were a curse.

The feeling of vomiting blood… I understood all the resentment toward me.

“When I get back… I’ll serve you a drink.”

I muttered that, but it was a story from a very distant future.

Another sigh came out of that reality.

I sighed and laid myself on the bed.

I just closed my eyes.

I fell asleep and closed my eyes, hoping that this painful time would pass quickly.

I couldn’t sleep, so I tossed and turned for a while when I heard her voice again.

“Alric.”

I closed my ears to that voice.

I know it doesn’t make any sense, but I covered my ears.

“Alik, wake up.”

weird. Her voice sounds quieter than before.

Normally, I could hear it clearly even if I covered my ears, but not now.

As I was thinking about that, I felt a warmth I hadn’t felt in too long.

The warmth warmed my heart.

I turned my head to that shudder.

So, the girl I love came into my eyes.

I couldn’t believe the sight and reached for her cheek.

I felt a clear warmth in my hand, and my heart fluttered violently.

“long time no see.”

Her words brought an indescribable feeling.

I was choked up with the emotion and couldn’t say anything.

just hugged her

Hope she isn’t an illusion.

I can feel the vivid warmth again.

The warmth I had forgotten for so long, now I can’t stand the rush of emotions.

Emotions rushed down his cheeks.

The feeling wet her shoulder, and the warmth embraced me.

“You’ve been through a lot.”

The warmth of those words permeated my rotten heart.

A heart without a single sound place, let go of the pain of the past.

her shoulders got wet.

She silently patted me on the back.

I let go of the pain endlessly, hoping that this moment would not be a fleeting dream.

I was able to open my mouth only after letting it flow for a while.

“Iris, is it really you?”

Instead of answering, she took my breath away.

I hugged her, longing for her warmth and breath.

I longed for her warmth and breath, and her lips left me.

The aftertaste remained thick, and I felt a deep thirst.

I wanted to covet her lips again with that thirst, but I held back because it wasn’t the situation.

“Is this enough of an answer?”

“It’s not enough, so I’ll get more later.”

“Yes, I’ll give you a solid answer later.”

she smiled.

New flesh began to grow in the heart that had rotted away from that smile.

“By the way, how did you get here?”

“I will tell you about that later. I can’t stay here for a long time, so I’ll just get to the point. After the ordeal, I transferred the right to go to the Blessing of the Beginning to you. So, you can stop trying. I don’t have to put up with it any longer.”

The words brought relief and joy. Then a handful of doubts came over me, but her smile and her warmth dispelled them.

Even a handful of doubts disappeared, I drew my dagger and stabbed my hand.

Then light erupted from the dagger, swallowing me and her.

After a while, the light disappeared, and the scenery I had never seen before unfolded.

A cave surrounded by soft blue light. A transparent lake of unknown depth at its center.

As I held the scene in my eyes, I felt the curse come back.

The happiness and warmth I felt when I met her again faded away. goes dry crumble

Unable to stand the feeling, she threw herself into the lake.

Then, a soft light hovered over the lake and enveloped me.

At that moment, the dry warmth began to come alive again.

Revived warmth, heralding the end of a painful period of patience and the damn curse.

Only then was I able to completely shake off the pain I had been harboring until now.

Feeling so moved, the light enveloped me once more and the scenery changed.

The first altar and the stone statue holding the stone slab, and she came into view.

As soon as he saw her, the desire he had been holding back exploded and he coveted her lips.

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Like that, I coveted her lips for a long time and filled my heart.

My heart was filled, and the tangled warmth fell.

“I’ll understand that you’ve lifted the curse.”

she said and smiled.

Her smile made me smile too.

And the time has come to say what needs to be said.

So I took her hand.

“Iris, I have something to tell you.”

“That’s a coincidence. I also have something to tell you.”

“Then do it first, I will listen.”

Her deep smile faded, and her eyes focused on me without wavering.

“You lived your life without losing your memory in the ordeal.”

Her heart fluttered as the thoughts she had imagined flowed out of her mouth.

“That life was painful. It was painful to have unrequited love that couldn’t be reached even if you spread it, and that no matter what you did, it wouldn’t come back.”

Water began to form in her eyes.

“Nevertheless, I did not give up. Even though I couldn’t reach it, I lived with hope. The end was cruel, but I loved it nonetheless. I wished you happiness.”

My heart fluttered as my life flowed out of her mouth.

“Even so, I regretted it a little. I regretted the life I loved you very little.”

Those words hurt so much.

“I died like that, and my memory came back. Only then did I feel the weight of my sins. I realized that the sadness I felt by this time was a selfish sadness. And I understand your life, and what you said touched me deeply.”

A single tear flowed down her cheek.

“It hurts because I love you.”

It breaks my heart as the words I said spill out of her mouth.

You said such cruel things to her.

“The days after you died, the days I loved you without regaining my memories, the days I regained my memories and soaked in guilt, the days you lost your feelings due to the curse, and the days I lived your life were all painful. It hurt so badly.”

Her cheeks were completely wet, and her hands trembled.

“It hurts so much, but I love you. I love you enough to forget all the pain. I love you enough to give you my all.”

Her hand moved away from mine and touched my cheek.

It wasn’t until the warmth touched my cheek that I realized I was crying.

“I have a lot to apologize for, but I won’t say it today. Today, I will only enjoy the happiness of having you back. I want to erase that pain So if you’re going to apologize too, don’t.”

At the words that seemed to penetrate my heart, I erased what I had to say. and wrote a new one.

“Now it is your turn.”

“Iris, I have lived your life too. It hurt so badly.”

It hurt enough to think that dying would be more comfortable.

“Through that time, I was able to understand you. I could understand everything you did and say and the world you lived in.”

I can fully understand the woman I once resented.

“So I decided to forget about it. I decided to forget all my pain. I decided to forget it because I knew you were the one who would have suffered the most. So don’t apologize not only today, but in the future as well.”

She lived my life and I lived hers, so apologies are superfluous.

“If you still want to apologize, tell me you love me instead.”

She smiled through her tears.

“Alik, I love you.”

“I love you too. Iris.”

We hugged each other and kissed each other.

So we quenched our thirst for a long time.

It signaled the end of the nightmare that had consumed my life.