I Wish My Husband Were Dead - Chapter 125



Only Noblemtl

My First and Last
2024.03.04.

Even though the owner of Embly collapsed and was on the verge of death, people’s lives continued as usual. The atmosphere was somewhat chaotic, but soldiers carried stones from the morning to repair the ruined castle, and the cook prepared meals by killing young piglets.

Leonard sat at the head of the table, but no food caught his eye. He often picked up his spoon and slashed the air without meaning. Cordelia said while eating warm pumpkin soup.

“Please eat something. You haven’t eaten anything since yesterday.”

“Cordelia.”

“Yes.”

He only called her name and remained silent for a while. In fact, he didn’t know what to say.

Leonard let out a long, painful sigh and soon ate the food she had recommended. However, no matter what he put in his mouth, it was as if he was chewing sand. He stuffed the food into his stomach without meaning, but he felt no taste or smell.

The meal ended in silence. Leonard eventually put down his spoon without even eating half of his usual portion. Instead, Cordelia cleaned the bowl cleanly without leaving a single bit.

“Ah. It’s delicious. The Atile Town House is fine, but the chef at Embly is really good.”

After wiping her mouth with a napkin, Cordelia stood up.

“Are you done eating?”

“Yes.”

“Then would you like to take a walk? Even though the flowers have fallen, the garden is still beautiful.”

Although they had only stayed at Embly Castle for a few days, Cordelia guided Leonard skillfully as if she were the owner

. The air of the summer night was humid and cold. Leonard found it extremely unpleasant. The sticky clothes, Cordelia smiling innocently, and himself helplessly unable to do anything.

After Anton collapsed after being attacked by Maximilian, he tried everything, but all he could do was barely keep him breathing. Even the old and experienced councilor at Embly Castle shook his head after examining Anton’s condition.

Leonard didn’t give up. He searched his office, hoping that he might have hidden the antidote to Tarcia somewhere.

“… … It’s not bad.”

“What?”

He walked absentmindedly and realized belatedly what Cordelia had said.

“My life. It’s not bad at this level.”

“Not bad, it’s really great.”

“Hehe. I was a disciple of Attila.”

But Lani. Why are you speaking in the past tense?

Leonard wanted to nitpick her words but held back. Cordelia stopped in front of the cutely decorated patio. She sat down first and then tapped the seat next to her.

Leonard pretended not to care and sat down next to Cordelia. A faint rose scent wafted from her hair. Leonard took a deep breath.

“Master.”

“Why?”

“It’s a nice day.”

It was just an everyday phrase, but he didn’t know why his heart suddenly ached. Leonard unconsciously grabbed his left chest in pain as if someone was squeezing his heart. Cordelia opened her mouth calmly.

“When I die, bury my body in Wilarth.”

“… … .”

“I hate Vasquez. I don’t want to go back to that cold, dark place. I hate Abrams even more. Yevo Delim was good, but I like Wilarth, where the magic alliance was, the best.”

Cordelia recalled the first time she had taken a boat to Wilarth. Even though it had been several months, it was vivid as if it had been yesterday. The endless horizon, the fishy smell lingering in her nostrils, and the dark, bottomless sea were etched into her heart.

“I wish it was a place where I could see the sea well.”

Cordelia, who had been speaking softly while looking into the distance, turned her head. The moment she saw Leonard’s face, she was a little surprised.

“Master… … .”

Leonard’s eyes were wet. Cordelia was a little embarrassed because she had never imagined that he would cry. Not knowing what to do, she reached out and caressed his cheek.

Leonard placed his hand over the back of her hand. The hot hand that touched hers felt like it was going to burn her.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing, Master?”

“If I hadn’t brought you from Abrams, if I hadn’t accepted you as my disciple, Maximilian wouldn’t have been after you. Also.”

All the past actions that were too much to list came back as regrets.

Leonard muttered while pressing his forehead against hers.

Would it have been different if he hadn’t said that she was his only disciple? If he hadn’t shown that he cared for her, if he had put down his arrogance and killed Maximilian in the first place? Even though

he knew it was a meaningless assumption, regret kept pounding on his chest.

Seeing his weak appearance for the first time, Cordelia lowered the hand she had placed on Leonard’s cheek and wrinkled her nose.

“Don’t say such terrible things. I’d rather die next to my master than live my whole life in that hellish Abrams.”

However, Leonard raised his voice when he heard that.

“Who would die? I will save you no matter what. You still don’t know how great I am, but I am the strongest magician in Ershe. I even became the youngest Sirius at the age of eighteen. Do you think I, the head of Attila, can’t save you?”

“That’s right. Our master is truly amazing.”

Her purple eyes were still wet, so her temper wasn’t that scary. Cordelia just laughed.

“I’m searching through the chambers of the Elector Count Embly. He must have made an antidote since he knew I was coming and he knows it’s been nearly ten days since you were poisoned.”

What about next?

Even if I get lucky this time, what about next?

Cordelia held back the words that came to her tongue. Unless Anton miraculously woke up, there was no change to the fact that Cordelia’s life had an expiration date.

When Maximilian stabbed Anton, Cordelia could not forget the satisfied smile he had made.

At first, she couldn’t believe it was real. She had imagined the end, but not like this. She

felt resentment toward the world, then a tidal wave of sadness hit her body, and finally gave up.

“It’ll be okay.”

“… … .”

“Everything. No matter what happens, I’ll be by your side until the end.”

Leonard reached out with both hands and hugged Cordelia tightly. She had hugged him several times already, but this time it felt a little different.

He held her back with one hand and the back of her head with the other. He hugged her so tightly that it was hard to breathe. She could feel his earnest heart. Cordelia rested her head on his shoulder in silence.

“I will save Elector Embly, find an antidote, and find a way to completely detoxify that damned Tarcia.”

It was more like a promise to herself than to her.

It didn’t matter if it was a lie. Instead of asking him if it was true, Cordelia put her hand on Leonard’s back.

“So don’t worry about anything. I will protect you.”

He kept mumbling. The desperation and affection she felt from his fingertips calmed Cordelia.

At some point, she had become too familiar with Leonard’s embrace. She felt a strange trembling whenever she met his purple eyes. Sometimes her heart would flutter like a freshly caught fish, and sometimes it would tremble as if she were alone at a graveyard in the middle of the night.

It wasn’t hard to find a name for this strange and unfamiliar feeling. She just couldn’t admit it. She was busy denying it. Compared to him, she had so little and was in a miserable state, and now what would I do if he gave her my heart? It was also a meaningless pride.

“The truth is, Master.”

Cordelia mustered up the courage to tell him her feelings, but then this thought suddenly occurred to her.

What difference would it make if she told him her feelings now?

“Why?”

If they were going to break up anyway, it might be better not to deepen their relationship any further. Rather than leaving Leonard with another burden, it would be better for him to just have one disobedient disciple and then disappear.

“Just. I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me.”

* * *

Leonard offered to accompany her to her room, but Cordelia declined. She wanted to walk alone. The sun was setting, so the servants were lighting the lamps on the wall.

Cordelia stood tall in the hallway, looking at the sunset. The day went by so quickly. I hadn’t even gotten to say hello to everyone yet.

As if he had noticed her feelings, Belluce suddenly appeared. Cordelia approached him and greeted him warmly.

“Belluce! Where have you been all day? I almost didn’t get to say hello.”

“What’s the greeting?”

“I can finally get this bracelet, Evrard’s treasure.”

“… … .”

“I only used this once. Isn’t it fortunate?”

“… … .”

“You have to come to my funeral.”

“I don’t want to.”

“That’s too much. But we’ve spent so much time together.”

Belluce, who had been looking down at Cordelia with a blank expression the whole time, spoke for the first time.

“Master will definitely find a way.”

“Please tell the Baron about my well-being, um. Greetings? Tell him that I was grateful for everything.”

Since the amount of well-being she could convey was limited, she changed her words mid-sentence. Belluce glared at her with sharp eyes and said.

“You don’t dare distrust your master, do you?”

“And, and who else was there? Oh, the Atilei Townhouse butler, Leila… … .”

“When people talk, please answer.”

“Belluce isn’t listening to me either.”

As Cordelia smiled, he chewed his lips again.

“Don’t you trust me, Master?”

“I trust you. More than anyone in the world.”

“… … .”

“Veluce. Thank you for everything. I’ll forgive you for being so mean to me in the beginning. So, so. Goodbye.”

Cordelia bowed her knees as gracefully as she could and said goodbye to him.

She heard Beluce calling her urgently from behind, but Cordelia didn’t look back. She had pretended to be strong in front of Leonard and Beluce, but she felt like she would break down if they talked any further.

“Sob.”

She fell onto the bed, covered herself with the blanket, and cried. Everything she had pretended to be okay all day came crashing down.

Why did I have to die? Why did it have to be me? It hadn’t even been a year since she had escaped that horrible Abrams.

She had held back her anger, afraid that Leonard would break down if she showed this side of herself, but she couldn’t bear it anymore.

In fact, after Anton collapsed, I visited his room several times. I desperately hoped for his recovery, but on the contrary, I had a cruel desire to see him die in pain.

Now, I wanted to trample on the remains of Maximilian, which were nothing but a shell, and throw them into the river, but I felt that it was ridiculous and unfair that he had to die after only living for twenty years.