I Wish My Husband Were Dead - Chapter 139



Only Noblemtl

Servet and Grita
2024.03.18.

I thought he would at least shed tears of emotion when he heard my passionate confession. Yes, even if he didn’t go that far, I thought he would at least hug me and give me a big hug, but Leonard’s reaction was lukewarm. Instead, he was busy lifting Cordelia’s chin and examining her every move.

“Is this demon possessed?”

“Ah, Master! I’m confessing seriously, and you’re saying it’s a demon?”

Cordelia grumbled, pouting.

How could he give such a disappointing answer when he was expressing his sincere feelings? Cordelia, who had been very nervous, lost all her strength.

Leonard leaned in closer. His eyes were still suspicious.

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“Why did you suddenly change your mind?”

“Do you not like that I changed my mind?”

Cordelia asked back with a hollow laugh, and Leonard brushed his wet hair away and said.

“Honestly?”

“Yes.”

“I know it’s funny that I’m saying this, but I can’t believe you.”

“… … .”

Cordelia was speechless. No words could possibly express how she felt right now.

The first emotions that came to her mind were shame and regret. She knew why Leonard had said that.

“Who knows if you say you love me today and then act capriciously tomorrow?”

“That’s… … . I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I, I.”

Her flushed cheeks didn’t seem to cool down. She wiggled her fingers in embarrassment before soon looking up at Leonard. The results of her avoidance without a proper conversation were showing.

“I thought you were the devil.”

“What? Who?”

“Me. When the Master left that day after hearing the news that Elector Embly had awakened, Rani came. And that’s when I learned that I was suspected of being a half-demon.”

Cordelia tried to be as calm as possible, telling him what had happened to her. Leonard sighed, touching his forehead.

“Oh my god… … .”

“Isn’t that stupid? At that time, I was really possessed… … .”

“No. It was my fault in the first place. I shouldn’t have told Rani Ephio about that.”

He sighed as if reproaching himself, and Cordelia quickly waved her hand.

“No. You said that the Master didn’t believe it. Rani didn’t mean to tell me that on purpose, it was just

a slip of the tongue.” She mustered up a little courage and grabbed one of Leonard’s fingers. Leonard couldn’t shake off that weak touch. Just like the moment he first realized that he loved her.

“Anyway, that’s why I thought I wasn’t the right person for you, Master. I was suddenly scared, and I wondered if I was bothering you.”

“What on earth could you be bothering me?”

“Yes?”

“Even if you were a devil, would that tarnish my reputation?”

“I suppose so.”

Cordelia nodded. Leonard continued.

“What I’m saying is, Attila is much more powerful than you think, so even if you have devil blood in you, it doesn’t matter at all. If you even gossip about me behind my back, I’ll cut off your head and display it at the castle gates.”

“Behead you for saying a single word?”

“I can’t just ignore someone who dares to insult Attila’s mistress.”

Why did those casually harsh words sound so sweet? Cordelia knew she was being fooled, but she didn’t really want to take it off.

Leonard pulled Cordelia’s hand, which was only touching one finger, and intertwined them.

“What else do you have besides that stupid worry?”

“Yes?”

“Why else did you reject my proposal?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Yes.”

“Really nothing?”

Every time Cordelia nodded with an innocent face, Leonard’s expression gradually distorted and eventually became empty.

“Then was that really the only reason you rejected me? I thought about all sorts of things. All because of, all because of the devil… .”

“It was a very serious matter to me. And I keep thinking about what Maximilian said before he died.”

“What are you talking about?”

It had already been several days, but the words he left behind were still vivid in his mind. When Cordelia explained what she had heard from him, Leonard frowned.

“You pretended not to hear what I said, but you remember every single word that bastard Maximilian said.”

“That’s why.”

“Why don’t you listen to the person who loves you, but listen to the person who hates you?”

Cordelia stared blankly at him. Her clasped hands tightened.

“… … Master, you’re right.”

When she heard it, it was true. Why was that? As she tried to figure out the reason, a thought came to her mind.

“I’ve always been insecure. Master is someone who shines alone like the sun, but compared to him, I felt worthless. When you first accepted me as your disciple, and when you told me you loved me, I couldn’t believe it. I thought I was too lacking and stupid, and that you couldn’t possibly like me like this, that I wasn’t worthy of it.”

As she spoke, she realized that the anxiety that had been tormenting her was truly trivial. Leonard listened to her without interrupting her.

“That anxiety had been building up without me even realizing it, but when I heard it from Maximilian, it seemed to have become clearer.”

“Why?”

“You told me why I shouldn’t be around you, and you confirmed that I wasn’t a person who suited you. I think that’s why I was even more immersed in it.”

If you think about it, they were words that were incoherent and close to curses, but at that moment, they felt like the right answer to explain the true nature of anxiety.

“Are those thoughts gone now?”

“Not completely, but to be honest, I still think I’m lacking in many ways, but still, still.”

“Still?”

“You might call it greed, but I want to be by your side for the rest of my life. I want to grow old together, raise our children together, and be the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning.”

He relaxed his grip on her hand. Cordelia was startled and tried to forcefully grab his hand, but when she saw Leonard’s hand reaching for her cheek, she became quiet again.

“Then tell me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Tell me how much you love me, with all your heart.”

She laughed in vain, but Leonard looked very serious. Cordelia felt a little embarrassed at having to say such an unfamiliar thing again, so she lowered her head and mumbled.

“… … You’re the best in the world, Master.”

“What? I can’t hear you. Tell me louder.”

“Oh, you’re already deaf?”

“Oh. I can’t hear you because I’m deaf, so tell me again.” She

raised her head slightly and met the man’s eyes, who was snickering. Cordelia also laughed when she saw his face.

“This is a big deal, our master. You’re so young, and you’re already deaf.”

“So you’re taking good care of me. So what?”

“Ah, why do you keep trying to hear it again? I told you earlier.”

“Because it sounds like a lie.”

She thought their faces were too close, but she didn’t have the presence of mind to say it out loud. The rain still didn’t seem to stop. Cordelia couldn’t take her eyes off his as if she was under a spell.

“Then tell me when you started liking me.”

“I don’t know. Just, just.”

Cordelia tried to find the moment she fell in love with him, but no scene was clear.

“Then tell me why you like me.” “I don’t even know that.” “What on earth

do you know ?” Cordelia laughed without realizing it, because the tone of his speech was so blunt and unsuited to the current situation. She placed her hand on top of his hand that was cupping my cheek. Then, with her eyes half-closed, she whispered, “That’s right. How did I fall in love with you? He’s so mean and always harasses me.” “Why are you saying I harassed you? Just because you said one or two words.” He mumbled, avoiding her eyes slightly. There was almost no space left between them now, but Cordelia didn’t want to leave even that small space. So she took a step closer. “But that’s okay. I don’t know when it started and I don’t know why I like it, but this feeling is real.” She lifted her heel and brought her lips to his. She thought she should close her eyes, so she did. The feeling of their lips touching was strange, so she opened her eyes again and saw Leonard laughing with his shoulders shaking. It made sense. Her lips had touched his lips below his. When Cordelia felt very embarrassed and tried to step back, Leonard’s face came closer this time. “Close your eyes.” This time, their lips really touched. It was softer than she thought, and reminded her of the pudding she had first tasted at the Atili Townhouse. And it was incredibly sweet. In fact, she wondered if the Master was made of sugar. Her fingertips that held his shoulder tightened. The pouring rain occasionally wet her cheek, but she felt nothing. The only sensation Cordelia could feel was his hot lips. “Ugh.” She gasped for breath, and Leonard laughed and pulled away. “You have to breathe through your nose.”

The teacher, who seemed to be good at kissing, felt strangely irritated. Cordelia grumbled, twitching her nose.

“… … Why are you so good at this? You must have done it a lot.”

“There’s nothing I can’t do. Close your eyes again.”

He tilted his face and came closer again. Cordelia closed her eyes on her own and put strength into the hand she placed on Leonard’s shoulder.

Just before their lips touched, he whispered with his eyes closed.

“I don’t care what you are. Even if you have no arms, or if you’re blind, or if you can’t use your legs, or if you have three fingers, or if you have the blood of the devil, or if you’re not Vasquez.”

To Cordelia, that was a deeper confession than saying she loved him. The words that he didn’t care were like salvation to her.

Instead of answering, she hugged him tightly and kissed him.