Life Of A Nobody - as a Villain - #33 - 33 Beginning of his nightmares
Shiva stumbled out of his house, his mind consumed by the pain of Ria’s loss and the weight of everyone’s accusations. He had come home after her death, hoping to find some solace in the familiar surroundings of his childhood home. But instead, he found only anger, bitterness, and blame.
As he walked through the narrow streets of his neighborhood, he could feel the stares of his neighbors burning into his back. He could hear their whispers and their curses, their accusations and their taunts. They all blamed him for his sister’s death, and he couldn’t bear the weight of their judgment any longer.
_
He stumbled into a dark alleyway, his breath coming in ragged gasps. He could feel the rage building inside him, a burning fire that threatened to consume him entirely. He needed an outlet for his pain, a release for his anger, and he found it in the form of a young man who had been walking in the opposite direction.
The man looked drunk, as he saw Shiva, he said – “Ahh you’re the guy from the city huh. The one who got his sister killed. Man what were you _ _.”
His words were cut short as without thinking, Shiva lunged at the man, his fists flying in a wild fury. He beat him half-dead, not even stopping when the man was all bloodied and begged for mercy. All he could think about was his sister, the way she had looked at him with trusting eyes, the way she had smiled at him.
As the adrenaline faded and the rage dissipated, he collapsed to the ground, his body wracked with sobs. He knew that what he had done was wrong, that he had let his anger and his pain control him. He knew that he had only made things worse, that he had added to the weight of his guilt and his regret.
He knew that he would never be the same again, that his sister’s death had changed him in ways that he could not even begin to comprehend.
_
He stumbled back to his family’s home, hoping to find some measure of forgiveness or understanding. But instead, he found only more blame and more accusations. His parents turned their backs on him, his brothers looked at him with hatred in their eyes. Even his sister’s memory seemed to have turned against him, reminding him of his failure and his shortcomings.
Despite his attempts to move on, Shiva remains forever alone, trapped in his own pain and suffering. His family, who are also mourning the loss of their daughter and sister, are unable to provide him with any solace as they too struggle to cope with their grief.
_
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As the sun began to set and the streets grew quiet, Shiva found himself standing alone in a dark alleyway. He leaned against a wall, feeling the cold bricks against his back. He closed his eyes and tried to shut out the world, to block out the voices that had been tormenting him all day.
But then he heard a whisper, a soft voice that seemed to come from nowhere. “Shiva,” it said, “look at me.”
He opened his eyes and saw a ghostly figure in front of him. It was Ria, her face pale and ethereal. He gasped, unable to believe what he was seeing.
“Ria?” he whispered.
“Yes, it’s me,” she said. “I’m here to tell you something, Shiva. Something important.”
He felt a lump in his throat, his heart pounding in his chest. “What is it?” he asked.
“I forgive you, Shiva,” she said. “I know it wasn’t your fault. You have to forgive yourself too.”
He felt tears streaming down his face, his body shaking with emotion. “I don’t know how,” he said. “I don’t know how to live like this.”
“You have to try,” she said. “For me, and for yourself. You have to find a way to move on, to make a life for yourself. I love you, Shiva. And I always will.”
With those words, Ria’s ghostly figure began to fade away, her voice growing fainter and fainter until it was gone. Shiva was left alone in the alleyway, still crying.
_
Shiva’s world has been shattered since the loss of Ria. Every day is a struggle as he battles with his own emotions and the constant reminder of her absence.
His life became a constant battle, and he feels as though he is slowly losing the fight. He longs to be reunited with his sister, to hold her hand, and hear her voice once again.
He had started seeing her ghostly figure daily now, he hears her voice, and feels her presence everywhere he goes, making it impossible to escape the grief that consumes him.
He tried to continue living his life, but everything seems to be slipping away from him. Shiva’s life has become a living hell, and he sees no escape from his misery.
_
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After having one more fight at his home, today Shiva had decided to end it all by taking his own life, only to be stopped by Ria’s ghost, who appears before him, crying and begging him to stop.
Shiva: (holding a knife to his wrist) I can’t take this pain anymore. I’m sorry Riya, I truly am.
Ria’s Ghost: (appearing before him) No, please don’t do this. You don’t have to be sorry. It wasn’t your fault.
Shiva : (in tears) How can you say that? You’re gone because of me. I should have protected you, but I failed.
Ria : (gently) No, you didn’t fail. You loved me and cared for me. You did everything you could. It was just an accident, and accidents happen.
Shiva : (in disbelief) But how can you forgive me so easily? I caused your death.
Ria: (smiling) Because I love you, and I know you loved me too. You don’t have to carry this burden alone. I’m here for you, always.
Shiva : (sobbing) But how can I live with myself? I can’t face our family, knowing that I’m the reason you’re gone.
Ria – You’re not alone, brother. I’m with you, always.
_
As he walked, he heard the sound of crying, of wailing and mourning. He knew that it was for Ria, that some new relative must have come home. But he couldn’t bring himself to go back, to face his family and the people who had once been his friends. He felt like an outcast, like he had been banished from the only world he had ever known.
He walked out of the room, into the cool night air, feeling the weight of his grief and his guilt pressing down on him, as he slept on the roadside, looking up at the dark sky.
_
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Shiva: (holding a knife to his wrist) I can’t take this pain anymore. I’m sorry, sis, but I have to go.
Ria: (appearing before him) No, please don’t do this. You don’t have to be sorry. It wasn’t your fault.
Shiva: (in tears) How can you say that? You’re gone because of me. I should have protected you, but I failed.
Ria: (suddenly changing her tone) Failed? You did more than just fail you idiot, you killed me! You’re the reason I’m not here anymore. You’re a failure and a coward.
Shiva – (in shock and pain) What are you saying? You’re supposed to comfort me, not hurt me more.
Ria: (laughing maliciously) Comfort you? You don’t deserve comfort. You deserve to die, just like I did. You’re pathetic, and I hate you.
(Shiva watched as Ria’s face and body turned all bloody, her head wounded badly)
Shiva: (crying) No, this can’t be happening. You’re not Ria, she wouldn’t say these things.
Ria : (screaming) Yes, I am your sister! And I hate you! Die! Die! Die!
Shiva : (sobbing and shaking) – You’re not real. you’re not real.
Ria : (disappearing) I’ll always be real, and I’ll always hate you.
(Shiva wakes up, sweating and crying)
Shiva : It was just a nightmare. She didn’t mean those things. She loved me.
(Shiva hugs a picture frame of Ria, crying)
“You would never hate me, right Ria.”
__
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Father: (sobbing) How could you let this happen, Shiva? Ria was your responsibility.
Mother: (wailing) My poor Ria! She was just a child! And now she’s gone because of you!
Vikram: (angrily) You didn’t care about her at all, did you? You were too busy with your own life to protect her.
Neighbor 1: (tauntingly) Shame on you, Shiva! You call yourself a brother, but you leave her all alone.
Neighbor 2: (disgustedly) You’re a heartless monster. You should be ashamed of yourself.
(Shiva just stands there silently, his head down in shame)
Father: (angrily) Answer us, Shiva! Why did you let Ria die?
Mother: (sobbing) We trusted you to take care of her, and you failed us!
Vikram: (shouting) Say something, damn it! You owe us an explanation!
(Shiva finally looks up, tears in his eyes)
Shiva: (barely audible) I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
Neighbor 1: (sarcastically) Oh,look, he’s sorry now. That makes everything better.
Neighbor 2: (coldly) Sorry doesn’t bring Ria back, you bastard.
Father: (sadly) Ria’s blood is on your hands.
(Shiva looks at his hands covered in blood as with a jolt of shock, he wakes up)
_
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Father: “How could you let this happen, Shiva? You were supposed to take care of her!”
Mother: “She was just a child, Shiva! How could you be so careless?”
Vikram: “You’re a disgrace, Shiva. You were responsible for her and you failed. You don’t deserve to be part of this family anymore.”
Father: “We trusted you with our daughter’s life, and you let us down. You’re no son of mine!”
Mother: “I curse the day you were born, Shiva! You brought nothing but misery to this family!”
Vikram: “You better not show your face around here again, Shiva. You’re dead to us now.”
__
Ria’s ghostly figure looked at Shiva with tears in her eyes. “Don’t listen to them,” she said softly. “it’s not real.”
“and you are.” Shiva said with a defeated smile on his face.
“It wasn’t your fault.” Ria said as she hugged him.
Shiva shook his head in disbelief. “How can you say that?” he replied, his voice cracking. “You’re gone because of me.”
Ria’s ghostly figure put her hand on his shoulder. “You couldn’t have known what would happen,” she said. “It was just an accident.”
Shiva’s tears fell down his face as he looked at his sister. “I miss you so much,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
“I know,” Ria’s ghostly figure said. “But you have to be strong. You have to live your life for me. Don’t let their blaming and anger consume you.”
Shiva nodded slowly, wiping away his tears. “I’ll try,” he said, his voice still filled with pain. “But it’s so hard.”
Ria’s ghostly figure smiled sadly. “I know,” she said. “But I’ll always be with you. Whenever you need me, just close your eyes and I’ll be there.”
__
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Shiva wakes up in the middle of the night, sweating and shaking from another nightmare of Ria’s ghost haunting him. Her voice echoes in his head, blaming him for her death and telling him that he should have done more to save her. He can’t escape her presence even in his dreams.
As he tries to calm down, he hears the wailing cries of his mother and father in the next room. He knows they are blaming him for Riya’s death too. His brother’s voice also echoes in his mind, accusing him of not taking care of Ria.
Feeling hopeless and alone, Shiva cries himself to sleep, only to wake up the next day to the same nightmare.
_
These recurring haunting nightmares were the reasons Shiva left his house, after the 32 days of mourning rituals*¹ were completed and never returned.
He didn’t want to live in that house and be reminded of her every moment. He didn’t want to watch the faces of the people he loved, filled with anger and hatred towards him – so he ignored them.
His family too didn’t stop him and let him go. Maybe they didn’t know he’ll never truly return or maybe they too didn’t want to see his face and be reminded of her again.
_
When Shiva left his village, and his family behind, he thought at least there was still someone who’ll be there for him. someone who knows the truth, someone who will understand him and support him, just to be further broken & disappointed – that she left him too.
But those are his nightmares for another time.
##
ğ�—”/ğ�—¡ – So with this his nightmare on the first day of Arcadia ends. Let’s wake him up now. shall we…
___ *¹ – In Indian culture many mourn their loved one’s death for 32 days continuously so there souls can rest in peace.
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