My Servant System - #818 - 818 Chapter 817: Downtime (2)

In my spot near Anput’s forge, I used my time wisely as I went over everything I knew about Lust Mana, Pleasure, and my experiences with both of them as best as I could recall.

I took a deeper look at them, trying to understand just what I was gifted the chance of beholding during the fight against Tza’Orbias, trying to comprehend the powers that Cali wielded so freely and the powers that she promised were within my grasp.

If I was correct in my first assumption – that this was a type of magic that worked not on logical sequences and structure, but instead on emotion and willpower – then I would need to begin testing some theories in that regard as well, since that might be the key to unlocking just a sliver of Lust Mana to work with.

Having some would be monumental in learning how to gather more and utilize more, since I could replicate what I did to acquire it initially to begin stockpiling a higher quantity of Lust Mana.

My next assumption was one of my original ones as well; I needed Pleasure to unlock the ability to utilize Lust Mana.

Part of my deal with Cali so long ago had been that I would gather and accumulate Pleasure for her that was stored in the crest that bound us, and the reasoning she gave me for that was that the Pleasure was what allowed her to restore her previous quantity of Lust Mana, meaning there was a correlation between Pleasure and Lust Mana.

There had to be a way to transform Pleasure into Lust Mana easily, and that was where the words she had spoken to me during the fight against Tza’Orbias came back to the forefront of my hypothesis.

I had to desire something – well and truly desire something, anything at all, from sex to blood to love, anything worked so long as I desired it enough – to begin tapping into the ability to utilize the Lust Mana she imparted to me.

She had made me voice my desires out loud and confront them head on instead of as just fleeting thoughts; I admitted that I wanted Jahi, Anput and Leone to look at me and only me, that I wanted to be of use to them to the point that they never needed to look anywhere else.

I admitted that I desired to have a hand in killing Tza’Orbias, that I wanted to be the one to deal a significant amount of damage to this Fiend that had dared to cause harm to one of the women that I loved with my body, heart and soul.

When I had finally admitted that I had those desires, when I had accepted them and began to act on them, I was able to grasp and utilize the Lust Mana that Cali had left unlocked inside of my crest, the Arch Fiend allowing me to tap into the power that I was capable of so long as I learned how to wield it.

So, that meant that the key to wielding Lust Mana had to lie in a strong, all pervading desire to have or do something, to acquire something no matter what.

It lay with my lust to fulfill my sexual needs, my lust to spill blood, my lust to occupy the hearts and minds of my three lovers…

Tapping my pen against the pages of my notebook, I pursed my lips as I looked over everything that I had just written, reviewing it and trying to formulate a good place to start that would take what I think I knew and give me the ability to act on it properly.

There were a few ways I could go about this, since my lusts were varied enough; those three lusts I had, that I admitted and accepted were inside of me, where excellent places to start.

Each provided a different beginning for me to explore, and they were easily explored as well.

Sex was the simplest; I just needed to repeat my experiments that I had conducted during my first attempt weeks ago with Leone, where I harvested Pleasure from intercourse and used it to fulfill my lust for me.

Perhaps leaning into my kinks would provide a more significant yield of Pleasure, and as I indulged in said kinks, I could try to unlock my Lust Mana?

Last time, with Leone, I had rather tame sex as I tried to use the Pleasure I was acquiring and turn it into Lust Mana, which resulted in those heightened or lowered sensitivities to pleasure in general…

Then there was my bloodlust; if I wanted to kill again, wanted to bring something pain and agony, did that not provide its own sense of pleasure for me?

That man in Emor, the one that I had teased and played with for answers, was that not one of the ways I sought out to assuage my bloodlust?

Toying with my prey before pouncing and killing him after getting his mind all sorts of confused as I promised to use him to assuage my sexual appetite, only to kill him afterwards… that provided a large amount of Pleasure for me, and listening to his whimpers and gasps as I ended his life was rather thrilling as well…

Then there was the time that I had killed and killed the Cultists beside Adelina, using my Khopesh to butcher them and utterly tear them apart, ensuring they died a bloody, gruesome death…

That all provided me Pleasure, did it not?

And as such, it was something that I lusted after, something that was buried and more controlled now, but something that I used to crave, something that I needed for release outside of my time spent getting pounded into a bed…

Then there was the last of the three major lusts of mine, the lust to be of use to all three of my lovers, to the point that they would never need to look anywhere else for someone to fulfill their needs, to help take care of them, and to join them in battle; that there would be no need for them to ever even think about someone else that wasn’t me.

Was that not also something that I craved deep inside my soul?

That the bond between Jahi and I, the mark that Anput had made to my pheromone gland, and the mark that Leone had made to me in general when we first made love… was I not craving for those bonds to remain and grow even deeper, so that there was no feasible way to separate us?

Could I not act upon that lust to acquire Lust Mana?

After all, if I had Lust Mana at my fingertips, I could make them feel pleasures beyond their wildest imaginations, I could fight against Fiends for them, I could be stronger than anyone else we knew…

So doesn’t that mean I am lusting after Lust Mana itself?

Does that count as a source of desire; my desire to get stronger via the acquisition of Lust Mana, which is desire in magical form?

Could I make use of my lust for Lust Mana to pursue my lust for majority possession of my lover’s hearts and minds, which would further amplify my lusts?

Where did it stop..?

Or could I continuously lust for more and more, never finding an end for the power I craved?