Novelist Running Through Time - Chapter 228



Only Noblemtl

Every time the tip of the sharp pencil brushed across the paper, a gray trail was left.

The gray lines formed dizzying curves, creating what An Ju-hee called “crooked writing.”

However, Moon Ji-seop used to call it ‘calculus’.

“Okay, you see? If you draw a graph like this without thinking too hard···”

“Ah, why is English in math?”

An Ju-hee opened her eyes wide and tossed her hair wildly, going crazy.

It was as if my brain was going crazy when I saw a ball of hair rolling around on a cafe table screaming, “I hate math!”

But since this scene had become quite familiar, Moon Ji-seop looked down at the suffering beings with a kind smile, like a Buddha who was well-versed in all things.

And I hope you gain another realization today···

‘Not everyone who wears glasses is smart…’

Indeed, while the foolish regard foolishness as suffering, the wise find new wisdom even in foolishness.

However, no matter how smart Moon Ji-seop was, it wasn’t easy teaching math to his ‘math dropout’ girlfriend.

Moon Ji-seop threw out some bait to take a breather.

“Should I order some more bread?”

“Would that be him?!”

An Ju-hee went to buy bread with a bright smile on her face, not knowing that her boyfriend was thinking to himself, ‘I thought all people who wear glasses were good at studying, but I guess not…’

Moon Ji-seop, left alone at the cafe table, let out a sigh mixed with laughter as he watched the back of An Ju-hee, the ‘bread girl’, who was excitedly going to buy bread.

“Ugh···”

The incident that became the most decisive factor in the relationship between Moon Ji-seop and Ahn Joo-hee developing into a romantic relationship was when Jo Jin Ahn Joo-hee asked Moon Ji-seop to tutor her during her midterm exam.

So the two met after school and studied separately, and after studying, they watched movies, took pictures, went to an art gallery near Gyeongbokgung Palace, and then held hands, and that’s how it ended up being.

Anyway, since the opportunity for all these relationships was the ‘study group’, Moon Ji-seop and Ahn Joo-hee continued ‘studying’ even after becoming lovers, but whenever he saw Ahn Joo-hee, who hated ‘studying’, Moon Ji-seop would sometimes feel complicated.

if···

An Ju-hee from the beginning···

Not studying···

‘Were you interested in me…?!’

Just as Moon Ji-seop realized much later that he had been ‘designed’, An Ju-hee brought over two cups of honey bread, butter cookies, and black sugar bubble milk tea, smiling contently.

Moon Ji-seop was shocked by the additional order that seemed to cost almost 20,000 won at first glance.

“No, why did you buy so much?!”

“I’m sorry. I just ordered one meal and sat in a cafe for a few hours.”

“For something like that, I think I ordered a lot just now···”

“If you say one more word, you’ll be a corpse.”

Moon Ji-seop, who did not want to become a corpse, quietly put the sweet honey bread in his mouth.

While the sweet night jelly song was playing through the cafe speakers and the sweet cream bun was tickling his tongue, Moon Ji-seop was too smart a kid to be intoxicated by that sweetness.

‘Joohee bought everything again···’

There was something that stuck to us like an inseparable shadow even in the sweetest moments of our lives, and eventually left a black blemish on us: poverty.

A child without a father, without a mother, without an inheritance, begins life in poverty instead of with parents.

Such poverty eats away at the body as well as the mind. Feelings of inferiority, helplessness, and victimhood…

Poverty, which had become a familiar disease that he had carried with him his entire life, gave Moon Ji-seop depression even during this time.

But Moon Ji-seop is a wise man.

So instead of bragging by saying, “I’ll buy it next time,” or pouring out her depression to others by saying, “I’ll buy it after discussing it next time,” she conveyed her most honest feelings.

“Thank you, I’ll enjoy it.”

There is power in truth.

An Ju-hee smiled brightly, as if that answer alone was enough to reward her.

Moon Ji-seop also smiled back at that smile, and the two of them forgot reality for a moment and were intoxicated by the brief sweetness.

However, strictly speaking, An Ju-hee’s money was not hers but her parents’, and it was not difficult for them to find out where their daughter was spending her money.

So ‘reality’ came faster than expected.

EP 14 – The Future

An Ju-hee’s parents easily figured out that their daughter was dating.

It was a simple task as I only had to check my check card usage history.

And most parents don’t like the sight of their precious daughters ‘dating at that age’.

An Ju-hee’s parents were no exception.

They were a fairly wealthy middle class family, and they were so involved in their daughter’s life that they were preparing her for her literary genius career and even sending her to an expensive art school starting in middle school.

They were so sincere to their daughter’s life that An Ju-hee, who was suffocated by their sincerity, secretly smoked a cigarette.

For those people, the fact that their daughter’s high school boyfriend was an orphan was not an easy reality to accept.

So at first there was a gentle form of advice.

Since you are still young, it was a bit of a warning to focus on your studies for now.

An Ju-hee ignored it.

This was followed by slightly more drastic recommendations.

It was a warning along the lines of, “Don’t hang out with bad kids.”

An Ju-hee protested.

He raised his voice at his parents, saying, “What on earth do you know? Why are you talking nonsense like that?”

Now no one can control it.

It’s the daughter’s first time being a daughter, and the parents’ first time being a parent.

Once an emotional fight starts, it turns a family upside down.

The level of language rose, the rift between them deepened, and they began to give in to increasing anger.

Moon Ji-seop watched all these fights from a distance, and was distressed as he tried to guess the conversations that must have gone on between the parents and children with his excellent intellect.

For Moon Ji-seop, who was suffering from such pain, the following offer was something he could never refuse.

– Let me see your face.

Moon Ji-seop showed his face despite An Ju-hee’s objections.

I stayed up all night thinking about what to talk about, and headed to the meeting place with a trembling heart.

And what Moon Ji-seop encountered there was…

It was a meticulously crafted ‘hatred’.

– Is that you?

Hatred that has already entered the realm of loathing.

Hostility that stems from a desire to blame her for her broken relationship with her daughter.

And the traditional and popular contempt for orphans that justifies such hostility.

The extreme malice felt in language, tone, eyes, facial expressions, and gestures.

Just by looking at his own reaction when recalling the events of that time, it was easy to see how Moon Ji-seop’s heart was torn apart in front of him.

“······”

“······”

I was standing quietly on the balcony railing of the dormitory of Saebitneulbom Daycare Center with Magihoon.

Magihoon silently took a drag on his cigarette and lit it.

I was too busy worrying about whether someone was smoking next to me or not, so I just blankly stared at the sky.

The sky, filled with dark clouds, looked as if it would pour down rain, but it just stood still, blocking out the light.

As I was looking up at the gloomy sky, I heard Magi Hoon muttering next to me.

“Fuck, this sucks.”

Magihoon muttered that once and then remained silent without saying anything else.

Thanks to that, even in that quiet corner, the sound of Moon Ji-seop crying in Bang Jeong-ah’s arms could be heard clearly.

The voice of Director Moon Chung-jae, patting Moon Ji-seop on the back and reassuring him, “It’s okay, it’s okay,” could also be heard clearly.

Moon Ji-seop tried to continue his explanation even while sobbing.

But the resentment welling up inside him made it impossible for him to continue explaining.

How can I speak when I can’t even breathe properly because I’m sobbing?

However, Magihoon mutters as if he can understand everything without having to hear any explanation.

“This is why children in orphanages are not allowed to date children outside of the orphanage···”

I didn’t think that Magihoon’s words were overly insensitive, or light advice added belatedly, or bordering on bluff.

Because those words are not words that Magihoon just made up.

That was something I knew too.

When we discussed love at our daycare, this was something the seniors always talked about.

Don’t date kids outside of the orphanage…

“Tsk······.”

In fact, what Moon Ji-seop went through was not just Moon Ji-seop’s experience.

Romance between orphans and non-orphanage students usually unfolds like that.

There are classes in this world.

There is never equality between people.

If you forget the cold reality for a moment and become intoxicated with love, that’s what will happen in the end.

That’s the reality, that’s what we’ve always been taught.

“······”

But now that I think back, when did ‘reality’ become such a cold word?

People often say, “Think realistically,” or “It’s unrealistic,” or “Reality isn’t like that…”

Since when has reality become a word that refers to frustration, failure, and despair?

I partially admit it.

The weight of such reality was never easy to bear.

That’s because Moon Ji-seop’s work wasn’t completely someone else’s business to me.

– Mr. Moon···

– You’re from an orphanage? Huh······

– Do you really think you love Guyuna?

That’s right.

I, too, surrendered to reality like Moon Ji-seop does now.

But did you regain your freedom by waving the white flag?

no.

Trapped in a maze of time, I am still tormented by the past that occasionally comes flooding back.

This is because people do not live in reality, but live in their hearts.

The only thing that a human being can fully possess is himself.

Trying to grasp the world outside of it, trying to possess others, is nothing but greed.

so······

“ah.”

I realized too late that this was not the time to be sitting around in a corner feeling depressed.

Now is the time to do what needs to be done.

“Put out your cigarette.”

“huh?”

I put out Magihoon’s cigarette and went back into the dormitory.

There, a slightly calmed-down Moon Ji-seop was having a calm conversation with Director Moon Chung-jae and Teacher Bang Jeong-ah.

I interrupted them and ended the conversation.

And then he stood proudly in front of Moon Ji-seop, who was crouching, and spoke to him one-on-one.

“Hey, Moon Ji-seop.”

“······”

“Not everything adults say is right.”

Teacher Bang Jeong-ah and Director Moon Chung-jae flinched at the unexpected story. Perhaps they thought it was an insult to them.

But the ones I was cursing were An Ju-hee’s parents.

“Are An Ju-hee’s parents your superiors?”

Moon Ji-seop, who had been standing there in listless silence, slowly raised his head.

The expression engraved on his face was ‘bewilderment’.

“If those people say that you are a parasite who only cares about money and has no parents, does that make it true?”

“I, I didn’t say that······”

“Anyway, if those people say you’re such a piece of trash, does that mean you really become that kind of trash?”

Moon Ji-seop answered absentmindedly.

“No······”

I continued to persuade him, taking advantage of the momentum.

“Then why did you break up with An Ju-hee?”

“what?”

“Before and after hearing the curses from Ahn Joo-hee’s parents, they are both the same Moon Ji-seob, but one is qualified to date Ahn Joo-hee, and the other is not? Are Ahn Joo-hee’s parents determining who is qualified to date Ahn Joo-hee?”

It is not Gu Hak-jun, Min Chae-won, or Gu Yu-bin who decides who Gu Yu-na will love.

It was Guyuna.

“No, it’s up to An Ju-hee to decide who she’ll date. The person An Ju-hee has decided on as her lover is you.”

No one can own another’s life.

Life is yours alone.

“Did An Ju-hee tell you to break up? No. Then what’s the problem?”

“No, my parents···”

“You don’t even have parents, so you’re talking about your parents. Hey. What difference would it make if An Ju-hee’s parents said they didn’t like you?”

I realized this fact too late.

Even though they were Guyuna’s parents or her older sister, they had no right to interfere with my life.

All the more so if the reason is my insignificant birth, which I did not decide for myself.

“Even if you continue dating An Ju-hee, what can An Ju-hee’s parents do? Other than swearing and getting angry from afar, what can they do?”

“···!”