Novelist Running Through Time - Chapter 235



Only Noblemtl

“Sometimes, I feel like what I do is meaningless.”

“There comes a time when giving people joy, receiving love from people, and all of this feels like a chore.”

“That’s when I stopped loving the audience.”

“When I realized that those below the stage were not as great as I thought, that they did not love me as much as I thought, and that even the weight of their love was lighter than a feather.”

“It was only then that I realized that I was not an artist, but a toy.”

EP 14 – The Future

The development direction of the ‘entertainment industry rumor’ incident that people commonly think of is as follows.

1. Shocking news breaks.

2. The public turns away.

3. The parties hold a tearful press conference.

4. The public returns or the party goes to hell.

This is the cliché of ‘scandal’ depicted in various TV dramas and movies.

In this, the public is often depicted as a field of swaying reeds, and the conclusions are always clear and neat.

That way, the viewers will also have a clean aftertaste.

But the reality is not like that.

The part that is the most unrealistic is the part where the ending is neat.

‘Rumors’ can never be neatly sorted out.

It sticks to the victim’s name like sticky tar, leaving a stain that can never be erased.

Why is that?

This is because, unlike in dramas, the ‘public’ is not a single group.

They have different interests, different attitudes toward these rumors, and even different perspectives on who should determine the truth of these rumors.

When faced with the controversy surrounding Kim Byeol, can’t we lump together those who immediately run to Kim Byeol’s fan cafe and shout, “What the heck is going on!” and those who say, “So who is Kim Byeol?”

However, they are grouped into the category of . This is why being a celebrity is not easy.

Therefore, the dishonor of being a ‘traitor’ would forever be attached to Kim Byeol’s name by the most vicious and ignorant people in the spectrum of the .

In the midst of internet news flyers.

In the vague guesses of those who just glance at such news and have no intention of looking into it in detail.

And, in the ‘Incidents, Accidents and Controversies’ section of the ‘Kim Byeol (actress)’ page on Wikipedia.

forever······

“Well. I guess there’s nothing I can do.”

Yes, this is something that cannot be helped.

What can we do about the world being like this?

Unless you have the superpower to hypnotize/brainwash people all over the world, you can’t be loved by everyone and solve all controversies.

I also think that the controversy that ‘the writer is not a real writer and the writing of that boy was actually written by someone else’ has not been completely resolved.

(Because of malicious commenters like Ahn Joo-hee.)

But fortunately, unlike me, who realized the truth of the rumor too late, Kim Byeol was someone who had already figured out the dirty truth of the entertainment industry.

“People believe what they want to believe.”

“······”

“People who hate me will believe in my dark side, and people who like me will believe in my bright side.”

Kim Byeol said that judgment takes precedence over evidence.

That sounded right to me too.

Those who support Kim Byeol will only look for information that is favorable to Kim Byeol, and those who want to discredit Kim Byeol will only look for information that is unfavorable to Kim Byeol.

There can be no conclusion in the debate between such people.

And the world was structured to extort money from such people by showing them advertisements through algorithms.

In this madness, no one sees ‘Kim Byeol’.

Everyone was just absorbed in themselves.

After all, the only thing a human being can possess is himself.

Therefore, this argument is meaningless.

All is vanity, all is vanity.

“It’s meaningless······”

“······Senior Kim.”

“I understand now.”

I saw Kim Byeol staring straight at me.

In those eyes,

A calm darkness descended.

“No matter what the world said about me, what really mattered was what I did.”

“······”

“No matter what the fans said, no matter what my mother said, it was all about what I filled my heart with···”

Strangely enough, even at this moment, in the waiting room on set, the clamor of staff members milling around outside the door could be heard.

An eerie silence seemed to linger between Kim Byeol, who was staring at me with empty eyes, and me, who had no idea what kind of expression she was making.

The silence did not disappear even as Kim Byeol spoke.

The reason is probably······

“Thank you, Munin. I learned it thanks to you.”

It must be because Kim Byeol, who is afraid of getting hurt anymore, has filled her heart with a creepy emptiness.

“I guess I shouldn’t be suffering anymore because of such meaningless things.”

“······”

“Acting is everything now. For me too.”

* * *

Online, they denounced the evil witch Kim Byeol, and offline, they praised the supernova Kim Byeol who would bring glory and success to the drama, but Kim Byeol considered all of this meaningless and continued acting day after day.

I watched the scene from one step behind.

“······”

At first glance, this series of events seemed to be without problems.

The controversy will die down soon, and once the drama airs, Kim Byul will either rise to stardom again, or she will build a reputation as an actress who gave great performances even if the drama flops.

And strictly speaking, the success or failure of this drama, which Im Song-yi is leading, could not have a big impact on Kim Byeol’s life.

Kim Byul is an actress who has already won the Cannes Best Actress Award.

She is young, youthful, talented and beautiful.

There is no need to worry about Kim Byeol’s future.

She will forever be admired by people, live in a big house, enjoy great wealth, and live a life of luxury.

Even the current conflict with my parents and the strange neglect from Baekhak Entertainment are problems that will be neatly resolved in just one year.

The moment Kim Byeol becomes an adult, she can completely free herself from her mother’s bondage, and the moment she moves to a new company, Kim Byeol can continue her stable life as an actress with complete support.

So strictly speaking.

All the pressure and difficulties that Kim Byeol is currently experiencing…

It’s nothing.

“······”

Nevertheless, I couldn’t easily shake off my worries about Kim Byeol.

Of course, both Kim Byeol and I know that the state of this world is meaningless.

What I’m worried about is not the world that’s tormenting Kim Byeol, but her own mind that’s tormenting her.

The emptiness that filled Kim Byeol’s heart.

The belief that humans cannot possess anything outside of themselves.

It seems as if only his art is everything···

I’m cynical, twisted and…

Looks like me.

It was that emptiness that was so worrying.

“ha······”

It’s funny how I live with that kind of mindset and worry about Kim Byeol changing into something like me.

Are you suffering from second-year middle school syndrome?

‘Ugh… Don’t be like me.’

What is this?

I don’t know.

I also wonder why I am like this.

Unlike ‘writing’, which can be explained in one sentence, ‘heart’, which cannot be explained in words, was extremely difficult.

“It’s difficult, it’s difficult······”

The mind is difficult, the situation is difficult, and life is difficult.

I sat on the veranda of my studio in the late afternoon, watching the clouds drift by slowly, and had this thought.

Even if you sip a cup of cocoa mixed with milk and pour sugar into your head, you won’t come to a proper conclusion.

What on earth can I do?

Should I go to the newspaper office and demand an apology?

Should I hire a lawyer with money to write the article?

It’s all nonsense.

Even so, it won’t be able to appease Kim Byeol.

After all, it was a problem that depended on one’s own heart, not the world.

“ha······”

As it got to this point, the scope of my worries reached me.

In the first place, was I qualified to give advice to Kim Byeol?

The answer to this question is obvious.

does not exist.

I am not even Moon In-seop. I am just a wretched soul that flew in from the future of a young boy.

No matter how much the world praises me, no matter how many books I sell, no matter how famous I become.

I am······

In a moment of mistake, I threw away everything I held dear like an old pair of shoes…

Even though I had countless opportunities to turn back the clock on that mistake, I tried to ignore it, thinking I was right…

Only after everything has come to a head, do you turn your back on life miserably···

He is just a miserable soul.

Even unable to ascend the path to the underworld, I am thrown into the maze of time, separated from my past, suffering in regret over never being able to correct my mistakes…

Is there anyone in the world more foolish than me?

“Ha, fuck······”

It’s a day when I feel like smoking.

But that can’t be the case.

I remember the embarrassment I felt when I met my younger self.

A young boy on the other side of the mirror at Saebitneulbom Daycare Center.

The child’s cheeks were so chubby.

The beauty and purity that I had pursued my entire life was there.

I was the one who ruined that beauty. I abused and ruined the young boy with alcohol, cigarettes, and depression.

······I wonder if it’s different now?

“······”

I looked in the mirror with a sudden surge of anxiety.

When I looked in the mirror, the little boy from back then was gone, replaced by a boy with gloomy eyes.

My hair is a mess, and I have dark circles under my eyes because I can’t shake off my bad habits and keep rolling my body around.

Her skin is flaky, and she bites her lips so much that the chapped lips never go away.

Above all, those eyes···

Those eyes, soaked in fatigue and gloom…

A soul that is helpless and unable to escape the pain of the past…

Those dark eyes made his impression look hazy.

“······”

In the end, despite the terrible shame he felt as soon as he ran back in time, this rotten man did not change at all.

“ah.”

Now I understand.

It was a delusion to think that I, who had become like this, could properly guide someone.

I don’t know anything.

It was an error for a person without parents to start talking about other people’s parental issues.

but······

We can’t give up here.

“······”

Beyond the mirror, a boy with a gloomy expression smiled.

The conclusion I came to was very simple.

Q. What if I don’t know?

A. Ask.

* * *

A house without any light. Inside, there was no sign of life.

Nevertheless, in the middle of the living room, a woman with long hair was sitting there, motionless.

The woman sitting on the sofa silently watched the front door in the darkness.

As if it were a stone monument waiting for someone.

“······”

But as is often the case with people who are completely absorbed in something, this woman looked more like a ghost than a person.

And that thought, too, was closer to that of a cursed spirit than a normal human.

“······”

Where on earth did it go wrong?

I don’t even have to worry about things like that.

That’s a very human emotion.

The thoughts that fill her mind are…

It was just a longing to disappear quietly, somewhere where there was no one.

“······”

But why on earth is she sitting quietly in a dark corner of the house waiting for someone?

This also matches exactly with the psychology of the possessed spirit.

The ego has already left this world, but the unresolved regret in this world still remains, holding on to the soul.

So, the mother waited quietly for her daughter.

Sitting on the sofa in a dark house, quietly······

Knock, knock, knock-

“···!”

Just then, a knock was heard.

My mother sat up from the sofa in a fit of convulsions.

Then he ran to the front door and hurriedly opened it.

My daughter… came to see me?

The thing she had been waiting for so long, her everything?

The mother opened the front door and desperately called her daughter’s name.

“Star!”

But unfortunately, it wasn’t her daughter outside the door.

He was just a boy with a gloomy look on his face, wrapped in a blanket.

“I’m sorry, but that’s not your daughter.”

“ah···”

“Your daughter’s friend.”

My mother’s eyes, which had briefly become lively,

By the time I was once again filled with a sense of deep despair.

“I came here because I have something to ask···”

The writer asked her a question.

“Why on earth did you do that to your daughter?”