Producer with no Regrets - Chapter 368



Only Noblemtl

Episode 368

Backstage, located one level lower than the stage that the audience can see. The stage can still be seen from there, because the stage light comes through curtains and cracks.

The stage, which had been darkened by the VCR screening, slowly began to brighten.

“Ara, come up.”

The director spoke to FOH over the walkie-talkie.

Judging from the way he nodded, it seemed like Jo Jin-man, who was in charge of the concert, gave the OK sign.

Joara stepped onto the iron stairs. Then suddenly she looked back.

The members who had finished changing their uniforms were seen scattered here and there. However, their eyes were all focused on one place.

To Joara.

“Go for it.”

Joara raised her fist and went up to the stage.

The metal stairs shake like when you came backstage. Now I know. It’s not the stairs that are unstable, it’s my legs that are shaking.

As Joara climbed all the stairs, she saw a passage leading to the stage. The light coming from there was getting stronger.

You have to go out before the lights come on fully.

Joara walked slowly but quickly.

Rika clapped Shin A-reum’s shoulder while making a fuss.

“Ara-chan, you look so confident!”

“I see.”

“It really is true that the sexiest thing in the world is confidence!”

Rika cheered for Joara as she advanced onto the stage, saying, “Ara-chan, sexy!”

Actually, Jo Ara didn’t have the presence of mind to hear that.

‘Come on, you crazy bitch… … .’

The stage she will perform is ‘Dance With Me’, a song by Jo Ara included in Girls’ League’s first mini album, Girl’s Craving.

Although the song was created for a dance performance, Joara did not plan on doing a dance performance.

The only thing that was shown in ‘Dance With Me’ was Jo Ara’s vocals.

‘Why would you do a vocal performance when you can just dance well? … .’

They did their best, but the audience’s reaction was not good. People don’t listen to Girls’ League’s songs because of Jo Ara’s vocals.

Even if Jo Ara goes on stage and shows off her vocal skills, how much of an impact will it have on those who already know Baek Seol-ha?

Joara held the microphone as if it would break.

‘Do your best… … .’

The lights turned bright and I saw Joara.

It’s a sight we’ve seen all along, but it looks completely different.

3,000 eyes looking at you.

It’s not just a glance.

This is the gaze of the truly loving fans who love the Girls’ League so much that they have come this far.

‘best…….’

Joara’s mind turned blank.

It flutters in the wind like a bleached shirt hanging on a clothesline.

* * *

When did I start thinking about wanting to sing well?

I don’t know the details, but Joara thinks it was quite a while ago.

Maybe it was before I debuted with Girls’ League. It wasn’t simply because I thought, ‘It’s cool if you sing well’ or ‘If you’re an idol, you have to sing well.’

‘If you can’t sing, you won’t get noticed.’

It was because of that sense of crisis.

Jo Ara became a trainee and started to take interest in idols.

Among them, I like the boy group called ‘C-Ace’. And among them, I wanted to choose the main dancer, Kyuyoung, as my role model.

First of all, since I was the main dancer, there was something that overlapped with me.

However, he had a small role in any song.

‘The main vocalist always takes the center stage.’

No matter how important dancing is to idols, the most important indicators are ultimately music charts and album sales.

It’s related to music.

Jo Ara thought, ‘Maybe I’ll become like senior Gyu-young later on.’

But it was different after debuting.

Girls’ League had the direction of being a performance group, and the main dancer Jo Ara had a fairly large role.

‘thank god.’

In that way, the desire to ‘sing well’ gradually sank below the surface.

I felt relieved.

Singing is important, but dancing is also important.

No, the teacher said that dancing is more than singing.

Rather than hone my mediocre singing skills, I should focus on my specialty, dancing…

‘The director cried.’

Ginger’s phone calls come in occasionally.

Ginger said this in the midst of idle conversation.

‘You shed tears while listening to my song.’

Ginger looked embarrassed, like someone who had no choice but to brag about herself at the urging of a friend.

But boasting is boasting, and there was deep pride in his voice.

‘I’m glad I kept practicing singing. It feels really good that there are people who cry while listening to my singing. Of course, I’m not that good! Don’t expect anything from me!’

Ginger didn’t know it, but Joara had taken her ear off the phone at that moment. Her expression was so complex and subtle that it was impossible to tell what she was thinking just by looking at it.

Joara closed her eyes to maintain her composure, but her frown spoke volumes about her emotions.

‘In the end, it’s a song. It’s something that can make people cry… ‘

Idols are dance singers.

The reason I’m not called a vocal dancer is probably because singing is fundamentally more important.

It’s something I realized a long time ago, but finally came to terms with. From then on, Joara put more effort into vocal practice, but compared to the other members, her results were embarrassing.

So Joara found another way.

As it turned out, I had a good role model.

‘Sister White.’

Jang Ha-yang chose to maximize her individuality rather than focusing on improving her vocal skills.

Her signature low, heavy, and sticky voice is well-received by fans.

Suddenly, Baek Seol-ha’s teachings came to mind.

‘There are two types of peak vocalists.’

Or reign over the song with technique.

‘Moving forward with song and individuality.’

Joara chose the latter.

* * *

Sungpil was looking at Jo Ara with his arms crossed. Jo Ara had just finished demonstrating ‘Dance With Me’, a song she had arranged herself.

Joara looked down at me as if she had committed a crime. Then she spoke as if making an excuse.

“Well, if you don’t like it, there’s nothing I can do. I’m the producer.”

Joara didn’t say, ‘I want to do it.’

That couldn’t be possible.

Because I made the same mistake a few times in the demo.

‘But there’s nothing I can do… … .’

When it came to performing in front of producer Seongpil, I became 100 times more nervous.

It was even more so because ginger came to mind.

‘You said Caius was your rival and all… … .’

Jo Ara couldn’t just sit still because she was embarrassed at the thought of being compared to Ginger, the owner of a vocal that made Sungpil cry.

While waiting for Seongpil’s answer, Joara ran her fingers through her bangs meaninglessly.

It was such a crazy gesture that it should be called “bangs messing up” rather than “bangs organizing.”

“Araya.”

Joara’s shoulders flinched. She slowly looked at Seongpil. Seongpil spoke expressionlessly.

“If you want to do it, do it.”

“… … Don’t say that. If you like it, say it. If you don’t, say it. Just say it.”

“If you think it’s better, do it.”

Joara was confused as to whether that was a reprimand or an encouragement. Was she being sarcastic? Or did she really mean to tell her to do it?

Joara shrank more and more.

It was a protective gesture, as if she was putting on more clothes to protect herself from the winter wind. Anyone who knew Jo Ara would have been surprised to see her passive attitude, which was not typical of her.

Joara looked like a child who had been scolded by her parents.

“Oh, no, just… … .”

On rare occasions, Joara even stuttered.

Seongpil, who saw that, cut her off as if he couldn’t listen to her anymore.

“If you can’t even come to that judgment, then it would be right not to do it.”

Joara felt like she had been hit in the head with a hammer.

I was confused and had a hard time coming to my senses.

“How can you go on stage if you’re not confident in yourself? Yeah, don’t do it.”

“… … .”

Seongpil’s words hit the nail on the head.

How can you go on stage if you don’t believe in yourself? Isn’t it disrespectful to the fans to show a stage like that?

I don’t know about other places, but this is a concert.

“… … .”

Only when Joara kept her mouth shut did Seongpil’s expression soften.

“Araya, what do you need to get on stage?”

“I have to practice… … .”

Yeah, I have to practice.

With such skills, she confidently sang in front of an old man, saying, “I tried to change things a little.”

What happened to your hair?

Joara was overcome with the urge to kill her former self from 10 minutes ago.

Seongpil was just looking at her, but Joara felt like he was scolding her. She was so embarrassed that her cheeks were red enough for anyone to see.

“Skill… … .”

Seongpil’s voice became much softer than before. Joara raised her eyes that had been slightly lowered.

“Does it require skill?”

“……yes.”

“When you go on stage, is it okay if you only have skills? If you do that, will you be able to go on stage? No.”

Seongpil touched Joara’s shoulder.

Joara was convinced. Seongpil was not being sarcastic, but encouraging.

Although his expression was still almost expressionless and his speech was dry, it was encouraging.

“What’s needed for someone to get on stage isn’t skill. That’s… … .”

* * *

Joara stepped onto the edge of the stage.

The sun-like light pointed only at Joara.

‘What is necessary for someone going up on stage, what must be had at the very end.’

It’s courage.

Joara sang with her feet on the ground, rooted in courage.

But this was paradoxical.

Courage is knowing fear.

Wouldn’t it be inappropriate for a professional to go on stage with fear?

‘Why am I scared?’

Because I lack the skills.

Compared to Snow White, no.

Compared to Shin Areum, no.

Rika, no, even compared to Jang Ha-yang, Jo Ara’s own vocal skills are inferior.

Despite his lack of skills, he stood on stage with great spirit, throwing away all the techniques he had diligently learned.

‘The changed singing style is better. My original voice is better than my glassy voice without any individuality.’

He stood with such arrogant faith.

I’m not sure.

But faith will turn into confidence.

Courage is the root that transforms vague beliefs into solid convictions.

And now it was time to test that confidence.

Of course, I was still afraid.

Once again, Seongpil’s advice rang in Joara’s head.

‘What it takes to stand on stage is… … .’

courage.

‘And Araya, your song was really good. Huh? If you ask me what was good about it… … No, I’m not lying! Let’s see, huh, yeah. I can feel it.’

prime.

* * *

As soon as the performance of ‘Dance With Me’ came out, cheers erupted. Those cheers were a sharing of the same emotions.

‘It’s Ara’s dance performance!’

No matter what anyone says, Joa had the most outstanding dancing ability within the Girls’ League.

If I hadn’t become an idol, I might have become famous in the world as a dance player.

Even while he was a student, he was a talented person who participated in several domestic competitions and attracted the attention of the scene.

‘What kind of choreography is it?’

Ginger had already been talking to the members of Kaius about Joara. And she didn’t regret talking to them.

‘Ara-ssi will definitely show you something beyond your expectations! Everyone, open your eyes and look straight ahead!’

I focused on the stage while waving my Ginger cheering stick wildly. Jo Ara’s figure looked small, but I didn’t want to look at the screen or anything.

I wanted to see the real thing with my own eyes.

While she was very excited to see Joara’s solo dance performance, Ginger’s hands started to slow down a little.

The cheering sticks that had been shaking only showed the obligatory flickering. The entire audience was like that.

‘You’re not dancing…?’

Joara grabbed the microphone and sang.

The members of Kaius looked at Ginger as if demanding an explanation. She barely moved her rusty, creaking jaw to make an excuse.

“Ara-ssi is also a good singer! Everyone, listen carefully!”

Of course, such words would not have worked.

How many years has Kaiser been practicing singing? You could tell the vocalist’s ability just by listening to the first verse.

‘I had high expectations because I heard you dance well.’

Kim Min-ju briefly exchanged a few words with Ginger, who was unfolding a blood shield, and then watched the stage.

Rather than appreciation, it was the level of concentration that allowed me to briefly enjoy surfing the Internet during a break at school.

At that moment, Jin So-yu’s words, which were poking Ginger’s chest, came out.

“What kind of confidence do you have? What kind of confidence do you really have?”

Ginger had no answer, so she just looked at Joara sadly.

Since the entire audience was quiet, Jin So-yu didn’t say anything more to Ginger.

Kim Min-ju frowned slightly.

‘Joara, this girl’s stage is the icing on the cake of this concert.’

There are people like that sometimes.

A person who confuses what he is good at with what he likes.

‘If it’s your solo stage, of course people will expect you to dance. Are you not aware of reality because your fans are making you popular?’

Joara might have wanted to show that she’s “good at singing,” but no one came here to hear “good at singing.”

The audience seats are unusually silent compared to previous stages, which proves it.

‘Of course… … .’

There is no choice but to compare.

The comparison subjects were members of the Girls’ League.

The comparison was even more striking because I had heard Jang Ha-yang’s ‘Epitaph’ before.

Joara’s vocal performance has no eye-catching production, no flashy group dance, nothing.

There is only Jo Ara, who stands alone and speaks pitifully.

‘It’s different from the original song.’

The song ‘Dance With Me’ is easy to listen to and vocally, there are no flaws.

It was a song that was always pleasant to the ears no matter when I listened to it. However, Jo Ara’s vocals coming out on stage now were unstable.

‘Is your throat sore?’

It may be because of the band session, but Joara’s vocals were so different from the original song.

I almost thought it was an arranged version.

When the original song that was expected is not played in the concert, cheering is only possible in jazz performances where improvisation is common.

The audience seemed to be watching Jo Ara’s performance with a ‘so-so’ look on their faces, as if they were watching their niece’s talents.

And the audience slowly fell into silence. A deeper silence than before.

It was similar to a person being submerged in water and their eardrums becoming more and more blocked.

Layers of silence are building up.

Kim Min-ju also repeatedly wavered under the waves of silence that piled up. Every time Jo Ara’s voice rang out, an inexplicable sadness made her waver leisurely.

‘Shaking… … Huh?’

Kim Min-ju realized the strange phenomenon.

The audience was very quiet. People were listening to Jo Ara’s song in a comfortable position, holding the cheering sticks they had raised above their heads against their chests or next to their legs.

I’m focusing on Joara’s song.

Even Ginger, who was sincere in her cheering, read the atmosphere in the audience and quietly dropped her cheering stick.

‘Shaking.’

Joara’s song shook.

It was like a butterfly moving through a typhoon.

But it didn’t get swept away.

Unstable and shaky, but at the same time straight.

The roughness of the song is like a freshly broken branch.

The branches should be later sharpened and used as tools.

But the freshly broken branch retained its natural shape. It felt rough and pleasant when I ran my hand over it.

I feel like I want to touch the broken branches in their natural form forever, without putting them to use for my own purposes.

‘Rough, clumsy, unrefined… … .’

That’s why it attracts attention.

A voice without any unnecessary artifice pierces the ear straight in like a freshly sharpened awl.

A butterfly that enters a typhoon flies unsteadily and eventually reaches its destination. If you look at it broadly, it flew in a straight line.

And as soon as the butterfly touches your ear, it flies away in the wind again. It’s a sound that leaves no foreign matter in your ear.

‘I don’t feel like my ears are ringing… ‘

Kim Min-ju had already stretched her upper body forward. Jo A-ra’s precarious flight drew attention.

Joara’s song moves forward in a rough and refreshing way. It flies so straight and precariously that I worry that it might bend and fall.

When the sound finally settled in her ears, Kim Min-ju felt a sense of relief without realizing it.

And then we focus on the lyrics that come flying in.

* * *

Seongpil heard Jo Ara’s singing voice from the audience.

‘A song that discards sophisticated techniques and instead uses one’s own voice and individuality.’

An unstable sound that has not been refined yet.

As a song, it lacks depth and thought.

‘I can’t rate your skills as a vocalist highly.’

But Seongpil smiled warmly.

Joara’s songs are risky, rough, and sometimes unsteady, but they always move in one direction.

And the moment it reaches your ears, it disappears without a trace, as if it doesn’t regret the path it has traveled so far.

Songs that shoot out with raw passion evaporate cleanly from the ears.

The appearance resembles youth.

A hot start and a cold end.

‘This is Ara’s voice.’

The song is over.

On stage, applause erupted in support and sympathy for the youth.

People saw themselves in Joara’s songs.

A life that challenges uncertainty.

I picture myself struggling through the hazy fog.

Some people call it a dull vocal.

You don’t even have any decent technique.

It sounds like you just woke up and are calling.

In that way, you could belittle the song that Joara sang.

But those who heard it directly all felt the same thing. It was a beauty that could not be expressed in words.

Joara’s songs were endlessly youthful.

* * *

Jo Ara, who returned backstage, had a desperate look on her face. She looked so dark that she seemed like she would die at any moment, and Shin A Reum, who was welcoming her, was worried.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“… … ‘What’s wrong with you’?”

“What the heck? What the hell are you trying to do now?”

“People outside… … .”

Joara’s tightly clenched fists trembled. Then, a tear she had been holding back fell.

“It’s quiet… … .”

How pitiful must it have been for them to only applaud without any cheers?

The moment Joara finished her stage, she ran away and greeted me, then went inside. She was so embarrassed that she thought she would go crazy if she stayed any longer.

“Oh, that.”

Shin A-reum smiled and tried to pat Jo A-ra’s head. However, Jo A-ra quickly pushed her hand away, so she couldn’t do it.

“Why are you acting like an older sister?”

“It’s so sharp that it’ll cut you. It’s just that it’s quiet and mysterious.”

“Are you surprised? Me? Like an animal in a zoo cage?!”

“No, it’s my first time hearing that kind of vocal.”

Shin A-reum was also surprised when she first heard Jo A-ra’s arrangement of ‘Dance With Me’.

Joa had learned a transparent vocal that blended well into the group’s songs. It was a voice that was clean but didn’t show any special characteristics, and could fit in anywhere without killing its individuality.

But that wasn’t Joara’s original voice.

“It’s amazing. That’s why I was surprised. It was much better than I expected.”

“……really?”

“Yeah. After the concert, you can search for reviews on Twitter.”

Shin A-reum stroked Jo A-ra’s hair. This time, Jo A-ra didn’t refuse.

Looking at the sight, Rika said to Baek Seol-ha.

“Doesn’t Arami seem like a leader today? I like how Arami always comforts me after we finish performing!”

“Uh, yeah. Okay.”

Shin A-reum took special care of the members today. She freely gave them warm advice and encouragement that she wouldn’t normally give.

Even Snow White was comforted by Shin Areum’s encouragement, so she said it all.

“I wonder what it would have been like if Areum was the leader!”

“… … Rika.”

“Hi (yes)?”

“Why do you keep doing that? Are you afraid that I’ll feel inferior to Arami?”

“Hey, Atashi (I) didn’t have any such thoughts at all! If the leaves weren’t shaking but they looked like they were shaking, then it wasn’t the leaves that were shaking, it was your heart!”

When Snow White scared this guy, Rika ran away laughing.

‘Araum works hard behind the scenes too.’

At a concert, you don’t have to do well alone. Shin Areum sees communicating with the members and stabilizing their mentality as part of the concert.

This was something that Baek Seol-ha, who was only focused on the stage, had never thought about.

‘It’ll be hard for A-reum too.’

Okay, this time I will encourage Shin A-reum.

Baek Seol-ha approached Shin A-reum with a promise… .

“Then I’ll go and come back.”

Shin A-reum went out onto the stage without looking back.

Joara waved at her. Then, when she turned around to go to the break room, she found Baek Seol-ha standing still in an ambiguous position.

“Teacher, what are you doing?”

“Huh? No… … That, Araya, you had a hard time on stage, right?”

“Yes, well. I guess so. I’ll go to the break room.”

“Ugh… … .”

Rika approached Baek Seol-ha, who was slightly depressed.

“Just by being there, Teacher, you give us strength! Not everyone can give us words of encouragement like Director Park! There are people like you, who are like big trees with deep roots!”

“……huh.”

Come to think of it, Shin A-reum is particularly good at speaking.

‘Is it because I’ve been with Director Park for a long time?’

Maybe, Shin A-reum will later charm a truckload of men with just words.

* * *

“How come you cry every ten minutes?”

Son Hye-bin laughed as if she could see all kinds of strange things.

Seongpil wiped away the tears that had formed in his eyes with his fingers.

“Because it’s good. The kids’ stages are all good.”

“Ara, the stage isn’t that… … .”

“Take that back immediately!”

Of course, Joara’s stage didn’t feel overwhelming. However, it had a charm that drew people in.

Like Rika’s creativity and Jang Ha-yang’s determination, Jo Ara’s courage stood out.

Even though she was looking at the silent audience, which is unfamiliar to idols, Jo Ara finished the song without being discouraged.

The results were also good.

Because after Joara finished singing, everyone happily chatted about her changed singing style and her arranged version of ‘Dance With Me’.

‘It’s much better to show Ara’s individuality than to just sing well without any individuality.’

While watching Jo Ara practice, the members would say things like, “Ara-chan, are you sick?!”, “Araya, do you have a cold?”, and “Jo Ara, do you smoke?”

Eventually, I developed a refined style that I could show off to others.

‘I think about my past life… … .’

Although the current Joara sings much better than in her previous life, listening to her sing reminds me of the times we went to karaoke together.

“Okay, I’ll cancel. Of course I like Ara’s song.”

As Son Hye-bin was about to laugh it off playfully, the stage brightened again and a familiar sound filled the air.

It was so familiar to Seongpil and Son Hyebin.

“Hey see… … .”

Son Hye-bin pulled her hat down low, as if embarrassed.

At the same time, nursery rhymes spread here and there.

“What song is this?”

“This is the first time I’ve heard of it.”

“Is this the Girls’ League?”

“Is this a cover stage?”

At that time, a man spoke near Son Hye-bin.

“This is Son Hye-bin’s ‘Crown’. Don’t you know?”

“… … Ah! It’s a crown!”

The audience’s reaction was clearly divided.

Those in their mid-20s and above looked delighted to hear Son Hye-bin’s song after a long time. Those under that age were bewildered and just looked around at the atmosphere.

“Isn’t that Son Hye-bin? She used to appear on variety shows a lot.”

“Oh, that’s right. You used to be a dance singer.”

“That’s what happened.”

“You don’t know that I’ve been on Girls’ League’s iTube a few times?”

“I’ve only seen you on TV shows. Um, were you famous?”

“Of course I was famous! I was so famous! I even went to Japan and stuff!”

“I thought you were a professional entertainer.”

Son Hye-bin, who was wearing her hat pulled down so low that it almost reached her nose, laughed self-deprecatingly.

“Yeah, I’m an entertainer… … . Please don’t think of anyone… … .”

Son Hye-bin’s ‘Crown’.

This is her early work and her dark history.

[hello everyone!]

Shin Areum covers it.

[I prepared a cover stage! It’s senior Son Hye-bin’s ‘Crown’! You didn’t expect it at all, did you? I prepared it really specially. This song… . . ]

Shin A-reum pointed to the audience seats. Naturally, everyone’s attention was drawn there.

[Senior Son Hye-bin… … No. This is dedicated to Director Son Hye-bin!]

Son Hye-bin knelt down and bowed her head.

“Ara, I’m sorry… … .”

* * *

Concert planning period.

“Arum didn’t include her personal song in Girl’s Craving, so her repertoire is lacking one. Even if Seol-ha just hits the guitar solo with ‘Long Four’. What’s Arum going to do?”

Son Hye-bin asked.

Shin A-reum stared blankly at Son Hye-bin for some reason. At that moment, Seong-pil raised his hand excitedly.

“Michael Jackson Dangerous… … .”

“I’ve decided.”

Shin A-reum smiled faintly and leaned her upper body toward Son Hye-bin.

“I want to do ‘Crown’.”

“Huh? What? What are you doing?”

Son Hye-bin was completely flustered when she heard the completely unexpected name. Still, she was smiling, but she was so flustered that she didn’t have time to change her expression.

“Director Son’s song. Crown.”

The more Son Hye-bin was troubled, the more Shin A-reum’s smile grew brighter.

In the past, Son Hye-bin once singled out Shin A-reum in front of Seong-pil, saying, “You don’t have anything you want to express.”

Shin A-reum still hasn’t forgotten that.

“I’ll do that.”