Producer with no Regrets - Chapter 792



Only Noblemtl

Episode 792

“……okay.”

Manabu answered everything with that one word. The door closed, and the light disappeared from one room.

One of them was filled with anger.

‘Yeah, you say?’

My daughter cursed me and that’s all you can say in response?

‘They don’t even see me as a daughter.’

Since he was not an important person in the first place, it didn’t matter whether he was cursed or sworn at.

‘It was the same when Mom left.’

Father, Manabu did not even try to persuade his wife, who was about to leave, and just stayed still.

Even though I was young, I still vividly remember my father’s cold attitude.

When I said I became an idol, I was met with ridicule.

‘This isn’t family. It’s because they don’t love me… ‘

One of them covered himself with the blanket again and sobbed with even more despair than before.

Outside the door, all I could hear were the very ordinary sounds of everyday life, like my father walking around, the sound of someone showering or opening the refrigerator.

And that was the end.

One was filled with self-pity. I felt so sorry for myself for being born in such a place that I didn’t know what to do.

‘rather…….’

Let’s go back to the idol training center and the filming set.

A vacation is of no use to you. What kind of vacation is this? It’s more like torture.

I’ll be taking the first intercity bus back early tomorrow morning.

One swallowed his anger and fell asleep.

And when I opened my eyes, I instinctively realized that I had woken up late. I hurriedly checked my phone and it was already past 12 o’clock.

‘I couldn’t sleep well at the filming location… … .’

I cried all day yesterday, so I must have slept late because I was so tired.

‘It’s better this way.’

Because there’s no chance of me running into my father at this hour.

One went out of the room with the intention of washing. No, eating came first before washing.

As I was about to go through the fridge, I found a plastic container on the table. Inside the transparent lid was a familiar-looking piece of food.

Tonkatsu.

“… … .”

The transparent lid was covered in water droplets and steam. It had been a long time since it was left there.

When I opened it, I felt the cold as expected.

One of them ran into the room and started hastily repacking the suitcase he had unpacked yesterday.

She herself couldn’t figure out why she was doing this. She was stuffing herself with clothes so hard that she was sweating even though it was winter weather.

After roughly tying up my hair and putting on my coat, I went outside carrying my carrier.

Then, a person who shouldn’t be there at this time appeared. He looked down at the tonkatsu lunch box on the table, then slowly turned his head towards Hana.

“Are you awake?”

“Why is Dad… … doing… … .”

“One, can I talk to you for a moment… … .”

Manabu’s lips moved like waves.

“Can I… tell you a story… ?”

“… … What are you talking about? I have nothing to talk about with Dad. I have to go filming.”

“Please. If you’re busy, I’ll give you a ride.”

One of them opened his eyes wide and trembled his lips.

“What, what, what are you talking about? Are you going to tell me to stop again? Stop it, I’m sick of it. I’m done with it. You don’t need Dad to help you anymore. You can stop worrying about me!”

“sorry.”

sorry.

It was the one word that one had been longing to hear so desperately.

Every time I fought with my father and cried under the blanket, I would imagine him opening the door and coming in to comfort me.

Dozens, hundreds of times.

But one wind always went astray.

But now, after cursing my father.

“Why are you saying that now, why until now… …!”

“… … .”

Manabu held onto the table and slowly sat down on the chair. It was a slow movement that one would expect of an old man who looked like he might collapse at any moment.

He fiddled with the front of his clothes and began to tell a story he could never tell in front of his daughter.

“I’m sorry, I… … .”

Manabu became an employee of a large company. Then, as if on cue, he received a blind date offer.

He was a typical bachelor who lived only for studying. And the person he met on a blind date was so beautiful that Manabu couldn’t even say a word to her.

If I could hug that woman every day, even if it meant giving my all, then my life would be meaningful.

He had such a ridiculous thought.

She was a mother. What she hoped for was Manabu’s future and the assets he would have.

So we got married.

“I am a worthless person.”

Manabu, who had been rising quickly as a promising prospect, fell off the rails toward success.

It was because I drew the wrong line in office politics.

He was reduced to the status of a dispatched employee of a subcontractor. Unable to stay in one place for long, without a chance to prove his skills, he lived a life of moving from place to place like a lice.

One mother left Manabu. She tore Manabu and Hana off like leeches from her arms and left.

Even after seeing Hana crying and holding onto her mother, Manabu was unable to stop his ex-wife.

“I had no ambition, no future, no wife, no money. Even now. Yes, money… … .”

Although he was an employee of a large company, he was dispatched to a subcontractor and received his salary from that company.

Less than half of the original salary.

The company forced Manabu to leave. The people who kicked Manabu out probably never thought that he would stick around for more than ten years.

“When you said you wanted to go to Korea and become an idol, I was scared.”

There was no future for Manabu.

Even if you save up this much money for a hundred days, it won’t be enough to prepare for retirement. No, it’s too much to live on in the present.

But if we support one dream, the future, and even the present, becomes uncertain.

“It would have been better if you had said that things were bad.”

Manabu started to criticize Hana.

It’s the nonsense of a child who doesn’t know the ways of the world, the tantrum of a child who hasn’t learned anything yet, and proof that he’s stupid because he hasn’t studied.

Those years continued for a long time.

Even after Hana gave up on her dream of becoming a K-pop idol, Manabu continued to criticize.

“I’m sorry, I really… … .”

Manabu put his hand on his eye. The hand fell away immediately, but one could quickly see what he had wiped away.

It was something my father shouldn’t have let slip.

“I cursed at you because I didn’t want to admit that I was a worthless person, a person who had nothing… … .”

It’s not that one’s dreams are not fulfilled because one is lacking, but rather that one’s dreams themselves are stupid.

In that case, Manabu could cover up his own shortcomings. Not only that, but Manabu could also fill his self-esteem by criticizing Hana.

Outside, they live without being treated like human beings.

But there is someone in the house who holds his words up like a revelation. He is the person he can never escape from, his daughter.

By scolding his daughter as if she were smart, Manabu filled his torn self-esteem.

“I didn’t want to admit my incompetence… … .”

Manabu pressed his right eye with the back of his hand. Then he got up and turned his back on Hana.

“I have committed a sin against you that cannot be washed away… … .”

Manabu staggered and grabbed the hallway doorknob.

“I did it. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry… … .”

He turned the knob, opened the door, and left.

He ran away. Having finished his confession filled with disgust, he had no energy left to endure his daughter’s reaction that followed.

He couldn’t do anything with his heart already shattered into pieces. He ran away to live.

And the place where the head of a household ran away.

One was left standing alone. She slowly knelt down and touched the ground.

To a child, parents are complete beings. Parents do not need parents to exist. They can exist on their own.

It is overwhelming for a child to realize that such parents are beings with the same weaknesses, shortcomings, meanness, and evil as themselves.

One truth that can only be known by looking back on the past as an adult was heard directly from my parents.

“……hungry.”

One crawled to the table, holding on to the table, and pulled himself up.

She opened the cooled pork cutlet lunch box and ate it with her hands. It was cold, but delicious. She devoured the food as if possessed.

One person who had a mouth full of tonkatsu shed tears.

‘I am…….’

Have you been trying?

That was the first thought that came to mind when I heard my father’s words.

‘Have I been trying?’

That dance, that song, you can learn and master it all by yourself.

There are lectures by world-class dancers and world-class vocalists all over iTube.

If it didn’t work out the first time, it could have been learned through several, dozens, or hundreds of attempts.

It would have taken several times longer than learning it professionally, but I could have done it.

‘I haven’t done anything.’

Even though I wanted to become a K-pop idol, I didn’t apply to any company’s auditions.

There was an excuse for this indolence.

The fact was that he was immature. And the reason he was immature was because of his father.

It’s all because of my father…

‘If I really wanted to, I could have done it by myself.’

Why didn’t I do it?

The confession my father made earlier unfolded in a scene filled with tears.

‘I didn’t want to admit my incompetence… … .’

Finally I realized that one mind is the same.

I didn’t want to be destroyed when I collided with the real world. It was the same when I became an underground idol.

What she really wanted wasn’t to become a K-pop idol. What she truly wanted was…

‘The state of having a dream itself.’

One was that I wanted to remain a ‘potential self.’

If she were to face reality and break down, she would become ‘an incompetent and failed person’.

One of them didn’t even put in the slightest effort.

At first I didn’t have the courage to try.

“I’m just like my dad… … .”

Was that why I was happy when I met Seongpil?

Because it predicted the possibility of success without having to face reality and break down. That was no different from a person who goes to a tarot card and truly believes in it.

‘Nothing has changed for me… … .’

One of them wiped away tears while still having tonkatsu sauce on the corner of his mouth.

Light came into my eyes with clarity.

She had thought to herself after seeing Rika’s performance that she could never shine like her.

Then you have to wait for someone to put in the firewood and pour in the oil. That’s the only way.

‘It will shine.’

Three conditions for fire to start.

Oxygen. Fuel. And ignition point.

It has no fuel of its own, so it will continue to increase its temperature and absorb oxygen until fuel is supplied.

Continuously at 100 degrees, 200 degrees, 1,000 degrees, up to 5,000 degrees, the temperature of the sun.

I will hug the oxygen on all sides with my small arms and endure until I die.

And finally, we wait for the fuel called luck to come. Coincidentally, that fuel is right in front of us.

“let’s go.”

One picked up the carrier and headed to the front hallway. As he opened the door, a slightly open door on the right caught his eye.

It was my father’s room.

One stopped in front of the door. Looking into the darkness through the gap, she steeled herself.

‘No one stopped me from becoming an idol. Not even my dad.’

One thing that was blocking it.

‘The delusion that my father and fate ruined my dreams.’

She opened the door.

Manabu was sitting on the edge of the bed. He slowly raised his head, which had been bowed down. His eyes, which had lost their color, gave the certainty that he was indeed a father.

However, those eyes were ones that one had in the past.

“dad.”

One eye shone with a light incomparable to that of the past. The eye, which contained a flashpoint beyond its limit, blew away the darkness-filled figure of the father.

“I (Watashi) will become an idol.”

* * *

“Thank you, Dad.”

One got out of the passenger seat and closed the car door.

I waved my hand until my father’s car drove away, then did half a circle.

The main gate of the idol training center.

One of them approached the door, dragging his carrier. No one stopped him as he jumped over the iron-barred door and went inside.

After unpacking in my room, I headed to the auditorium.

The auditorium was set up with expensive filming equipment. There were probably staff members from the training center there, but they didn’t seem to be paying much attention.

‘If PD Junpei sees this, there will be a big problem.’

One of them walked up to the camera. The red light was on. She smiled and waved at the camera.

“hello everyone.”

One was a few steps away from the camera.

“I will start practicing from now on.”

Like the thunder that everyone can see even when it is layered in thick clouds.

“To reach you all. Please watch over me, cheer me on. Me.”

Let him who has eyes see.

He who has ears, let him hear.

Oh world, it’s me.

“I am Kasei Hana, an idol.”

* * *

Miyoshi Ryusei desperately held onto the parallel bars to support his body.

Like that, I moved forward, one step at a time, very slowly, pressing down on the ground.

Next to him, a rehabilitation trainer constantly encouraged Ryusei.

“Good job! One more time… … .”

Just one step.

Ryusei had to risk his life doing something that even a child of just over a year could do without much burden.

The veins on his forehead were prominent, his face was red, sweat poured down like rain, and groans and screams of agony poured out of his mouth along with saliva.

“Yes, you did well! Now, let’s straighten our backs just a little bit, just a little bit more, and go all the way.”

Ryusei exhaled wildly. Soon his arms began to tremble like an aspen tree.

His back and waist seemed to straighten little by little, and at some point his movements stopped.

“Euuuugh… … .”

Ryusei burst into tears.

When the pain reached a critical point, she could no longer hold back her tears. Even so, her arms supporting the parallel bars did not collapse, and her back did not bend.

As it was, Ryusei took a step forward.

The rehabilitation trainer encouraged him with eyes filled with respect.

“You are doing well, really… … .”

Seongpil was looking at Ryuusei through the glass door outside the rehabilitation room. After a while, he took out his wallet from his bosom as if he was possessed.

I took out a photo that had been quietly sleeping inside my wallet.

It was a group photo taken with my Marine Corps comrades.

The figure of Seongpil, in his early 20s, standing on the right outer edge and holding up his thumb. Seongpil compared it to Ryuusei on the other side of the glass window.

‘what’s this.’

Are you a doppelganger?

Another difference was that Ryusei had a shorter chin and sharper facial features, giving him a more boyish look.

Also, the bridge of his nose was sharp and his eyes, with their double eyelids sunken in, were very distinct, which naturally made Seongpil think this.

‘Am I the parallel world me who became an idol…?’

If you add masculinity to Ryusei’s face, it will become Seongpil. If you add boyishness to Seongpil’s face, it will become Ryusei.

It might be extremely rude to think this way while watching someone else’s difficult struggle, but Seongpil felt an indescribable sense of discomfort.

“sorry.”

When Miyoko, standing next to him, said that, Seongpil was able to wake up from his thoughts.

“Thank you for taking the time for me.”

“Ah… … No. Just wait.”

Seongpil met the parents of all the Bugbug members.

Miyoko is the last. However, instead of letting her meet her parents, Miyoko showed her her brother.

It’s not like I don’t have parents.

Seongpil put the photo back in his wallet and clenched and unclenched his empty hands.

“I should have bought you a gift when I heard about the hospital. When will the training end? Even now… … .”

“Is the picture okay?”

“yes?”

“If we broadcast it, the picture will be okay, right?”