Raise Magical Girls and Leave Them With Eternal Regret - Raise Magical Girls and Leave Them With Eternal Regret chapter 55

55. This statement is not a lie

“I…”

“…”

After listening to Baiyu’s questioning, Youyu fell silent for a long time. Then, as if resigned to his fate, he spoke with a hint of self-mockery:

“If I really follow what you said… denying this promise would be equivalent to denying the words of the past.”

“Then, perhaps everything I’ve done has been a lie.”

As he spoke, he let out a deep sigh.

“…”

Upon hearing Youyu’s words, Baiyu managed to calm down a bit. After a moment of silence, she steadied her emotions, released her grip on Youyu’s collar, furrowed her brows, and continued:

“No, that’s not what I meant. Everything you did for Wuyue back then, I saw it all.”

“Your actions, your intentions.”

“Everything was… from the heart, not a lie.”

“…”

After saying this, Baiyu took another breath and continued:

“I was indeed a bit emotional just now… I’m sorry. What I really want to say, what I want to ask you is, are you really going to refuse her for this reason? Then what about the words you said back then? Why do you think differently now…?”

Baiyu hadn’t forgotten that this time, she had asked Youyu out for a purpose; the earlier “little conflict” was merely an accident.

Because what she truly wanted to do was to understand their situation and help them resolve their conflicts.

Arguing over these matters would only complicate things further, and emotions would run high.

So, she managed to control herself in time, preventing the situation from escalating further.

“…”

“The reason I refuse her, I’ve already made very clear just now.”

“However, you must be dissatisfied with my answer, right?”

“…”

Looking at the now-silent Baiyu, Youyu pondered for a moment before sighing and saying:

“Then, I’ll be straightforward about the fundamental reason.”

“Simply put… I’m scared.”

“……”

Hearing Youyu’s response, Baiyu was momentarily taken aback, then frowned, puzzled and surprised as she asked:

“You’re saying you’re scared? You can’t be joking, right? During those battles, whether it was to save Wuyue or to save me, you charged in without fear of death, and now you’re telling me… you’re scared?”

How could someone like Youyu, who was in some ways even more fearless than them, say such a thing?

It was truly a bit… unfathomable; she hadn’t even considered this possibility.

“Yes.”

“Then you…”

“Let’s sit down and talk.”

Nodding, Youyu returned to the bench and gestured for Baiyu to sit down as well, then continued:

“Because, unlike those previous events, this time, with Wuyue, the difference is… whether I’ve made a promise to her.”

“In the future, it’s likely that I’ll encounter situations like before several times. I can’t guarantee that I’ll always come out unscathed, nor can I guarantee that I won’t die each time.”

“So, I can’t easily agree to her request; I don’t have that thought, it’s impossible for me to have that kind of thought, to establish that kind of relationship with her.”

“Because… if I die, the harm it would cause her would be immense.”

“It might have a lifelong impact.”

“……”

“Then what you’re doing now, won’t it lead to that?”

Listening to Youyu’s words, an annoying emotion surged in Baiyu’s heart once again. She had to do her best to keep her emotions stable, but still questioned him in an angry tone:

“If you don’t establish that relationship with her, will you not die? Do you think that if you refuse her, she won’t be sad if something ‘unexpected’ happens to you in the future?”

“Stop deceiving yourself! Youyu! She’s not even afraid herself; what are you afraid of? You say you’re just afraid of dying? Afraid that your death will affect her? Let me tell you, she’s not that fragile, Youyu!”

“It’s more like, because of your refusal now, she has become this way!”

“You… are truly contradictory!”

“If you’re afraid of how your death will affect her, then why didn’t you just leave her side from the very beginning?!”

“……”

Back to square one.

Listening to Baiyu’s words, Youyu felt a mix of emotions.

To be honest, he hadn’t expected to be confronted by Baiyu after coming here… especially on this matter.

Does she really want him to agree to Wuyue that much? She seemed even more anxious than Wuyue.

However, it also indirectly confirmed one thing… Baiyu indeed cared about her companions more than before.

Knowing this was certainly a good thing.

But this time, he came here…

Not to argue.

“Indeed, as you said, I am a contradictory person, and I admit that myself.”

Nodding slightly, facing Bai Yu’s angry gaze, You Yu spoke without any evasion.

“On one hand, I want to treat Wu Yue well, and on the other hand, I do things that… might hurt her. Clearly, according to your method, distancing myself from her as soon as possible, not getting involved with her at all, might be the best outcome for her.”

“But… I can’t do it.”

As he spoke, You Yu shook his head and let out a self-deprecating smile.

“If you don’t understand… then let me tell you a story.”

“In the past, when I was in school, I often didn’t understand my parents. Even though the living expenses I earned from my part-time job were barely enough, they would still call me often, asking if I needed anything, if they should send me more money…”

“Every time, I refused them because our family was relatively poor, and our financial situation was difficult. I couldn’t let them spend money on me.”

“But… it was useless every time. They still directly transferred money to my account. When I asked them why, they just said to eat more meat.”

“Back then, with the pressure of school, I didn’t have much time to understand their situation until one time… my mom called and said my dad had fallen ill, and I rushed back to take a look.”

“After returning, it was only after my mom explained that I learned he had collapsed due to work.”

“Upon further inquiry… I found out that at that time, they were working very, very hard. They were worried about me, trying to ensure that I wouldn’t run out of living expenses while living alone at school, so they kept working tirelessly without telling me.”

“I was naturally very sad! And very… angry! I wanted them to stop, but they only said it verbally. When I wasn’t aware, they would still secretly do these things.”

With a sigh, You Yu continued.

“Later, after several attempts to dissuade them failed, I gave up. After giving up, I asked them a question: why did they do this?”

“They smiled slightly and told me it was because I was the one they loved.”

“At that time, I didn’t understand. Can loving someone lead to this extent?”

“Back then… I really didn’t understand.”

“…”

After a moment of silence, You Yu continued:

“But now, I understand.”

“…This must be a kind of ‘clumsy’ love.”

“Even knowing that my love might hurt both myself and the other person, I still have to continue doing it. Sometimes, to prevent the other person from getting hurt, I even have to hide the fact that I am hurt.”

“So… the reason I am like this now.”

“Is because this ‘love’ has inherited the clumsiness of my family, so… I can’t do what you said, to leave Wu Yue’s side.”

“Knowing full well that I might end up hurting myself and possibly hurting her, yet I still have to keep going.”

“Perhaps it’s because I… ‘love’ Wu Yue.”

Is that why it feels so contradictory?

After listening to the “story” that Youyu told, Bai Yu, whose emotions had mostly settled, thought to herself.

“……”

“You really are a… complicated guy.”

The words he spoke, the experiences he had gone through.

Were just like what she had experienced back when her “home” still existed.

“……”

Why inherit something that isn’t good?

Yet, it just had to be this…

Bai Yu smiled helplessly.

However, at least she understood now why he was like this.

And… at least the words he was saying now.

Were not lies.

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