Rockstar Again - Chapter 164



Only Noblemtl

Episode 164. Inspiration is filled with many things (3)

For creators, solitude is one of the sources of inspiration.

Besides that, there are probably many other sources of inspiration.

Emotions, experiences, all of these things have a huge impact on the creator’s work.

It’s not like someone who’s never been in love can’t write a love song, but it probably won’t be sticky.

There could be a song about the sadness of wanting to love but not being able to, or a song about unrequited love.

Anyway.

The overwhelming emotion that filled my childhood was loneliness.

-Your mom isn’t coming?

It was a sports day.

-What are you going to do with something like that?

Naturally, my answer was quite curt.

I still have a lot of rebellious tendencies, but I was more rebellious back then.

The darker it is, the more grateful people are for even a small fire.

The reason I was a rebellious child but didn’t go astray was because I wasn’t completely dark.

-I prepared some food for you. Eat it and go to school.

I had a dad.

-If you keep feeding it to me, it’ll get into the habit. I’ll eat it all.

Because I had an uncle who was like a friend and also like a brother.

Well… … Nevertheless, it is a great loneliness for a child not to have a mother.

I swallowed my loneliness from time to time, relying on the small light that illuminated me.

The love my father and uncle gave me kept me going.

Solitude… … made me an artist.

I became obsessed with music.

I started expressing myself through music.

I think it was because music… … didn’t necessarily have to pretend it wasn’t there.

-Ding ding ding ding! Whining, whining, whining! Jagyajangjang!

What I particularly liked about rock was that it was perfect for blowing away the gloom.

So… … I created my world.

On the outside, he smiles a lot and likes to joke around.

I have my own darkness inside.

As the gap between the two sides grew, my musicality grew stronger.

Frustration, failure, depression, and loneliness for artists.

These negative emotions are experiences that money can’t buy.

I didn’t really want to… spend money on it, but whatever.

If I think about it as a lucky accident, my life has worked out for me to become a world-class rocker… … I think… … .

But then again the darkness inside me deepens.

Because of my mother, who is inseparable from me and who drags me down.

“… …Eat.”

Beomseok put down the soybean paste stew and looked at me.

I can feel the worry on Beomseok’s face, but I can’t pretend like I’m okay like before.

Some things are hard to pretend to be okay.

“Beomseok-ah.”

“say.”

“Mom… …what kind of person is she?”

Beomseok sat down across the table and thought for a moment.

Perhaps, he is thinking about how to talk to me in a way that will comfort me.

After some thought, Beomseok opened his mouth.

“What? He is the one who gave birth to me.”

“Do you have a mother?”

As if his worries were over, Beomseok began to talk about his mother without any embellishment.

This is correct.

Even if you try to decorate it, it won’t work anyway.

“… … He was a good person. Well… … Our family has been a family of doctors for generations, right? But the eldest grandson is an idiot. What would my father and grandfather have been like? They must have felt really frustrated even though they didn’t say anything out loud? But my mother believed in me until the very end. If you want to play, play. If you want to study, you can do well. But believe in yourself. Something like that… … she said.”

“You’re a nice person. Well, when I go to your house to play, you always welcome me with a smile.”

“… … .”

“… … I’ve always been curious about the person who gave birth to me?”

“… … Yeah, well… … of course you were curious.”

“I imagined a lot when I was young. What could have happened to my mother that made her leave me? Did she get sick and pass away? Is my father hiding it for my sake? Or… … The family’s opposition? My mother was originally very rich, but she went against her family’s wishes and fell in love with my father, gave birth to me, and then was taken away. By her maternal relatives. So she was locked in the castle, unable to see me even when she wanted to. Would she miss me with tears in her eyes every day… … I thought.”

Beomseok frowned.

It’s not that you don’t like my story, it’s that you sympathize with it.

This is my story. At the time I imagined this, I was much younger than I am now.

So poor beggar.

The years that young boy lived comforting himself with such thoughts.

right.

That’s how I consoled myself, so I could pretend that everything was okay.

But of all the imaginations I’ve had, the one that comforted me the most wasn’t a fairy tale.

“I thought my mother would be a very poor, insignificant woman.”

“… … .”

“When I thought about it that way, I felt better.”

Beomseok still didn’t answer, but I moved my mouth as if I was talking to myself.

“She abandoned me for a very practical reason. She had an accident at a young age. She felt bad about getting rid of the child. So she gave birth to the child, but she didn’t know what to do because she was poor. So she left me with the child’s father and ran away. She was busy trying to feed herself, so she forgot about me and lived like that.”

The more needy my imaginary mother became, the greater the comfort I felt inside.

I understand that too.

If that’s the reason… … I hate it, but I won’t hold any resentment, I sometimes think like that.

But… … it’s not even funny.

I thought I was living better than anyone else.

Beomseok, who noticed the blush on my face growing bigger, grabbed my hand.

“Just don’t meet me.”

“Let go. It’s not like I’m going to run away right now anyway. Why are two men holding hands?”

“What are you going to say when you meet me? You can’t just say, ‘I’m your son.’”

The strength in Beomseok’s hand that covered my hand started to tremble.

“I’m going to lose.”

“Hey… … You… … If you really do that, you’ll be in big trouble… … .”

Beomseok was flustered and tried to stop me, but then stopped talking.

“I’ll beat you to death. What does it matter if you’re an old lady or an old man? I won’t even tell you why. Even if I tell you, you won’t believe me anyway, and even if you did, I won’t tell you. It must be incredibly humiliating to be beaten by a child at your age. You’d feel so humiliated that you’d want to die, right?”

“under…….”

My tears fell onto Beomseok’s hand as he let out a long sigh.

These are tears that flow because I feel wronged and angry.

The phone rang with tears.

[Author Moon Soo-hyun]

After a few beeps when I didn’t pick up, the message arrived.

[Writer Moon Soo-hyun: I guess you’re busy. Dong-ha has been confirmed for the new OST meeting. The production company was so happy about it that there was a fuss. It was like a pumpkin rolling in.]

[Writer Moon Soo-hyun: Since that’s also okay, you can come to the script reading. The time and place are… … .]

* * *

Moon Soo-hyun’s office.

After sending the text, Moon Soo-hyun burst into laughter.

“Ah, these days, every day is like a flower garden… … Kids… … .”

As Moon Soo-hyun spun around holding his cell phone, the eyes of Moon Soo-hyun’s two young writers lit up.

“Author… …Can you please take us with you to the reading?”

“Yes, please… … We also want to see Dong-ha once. Just looking at Dong-ha’s face in the drama makes me think I could come up with a script. Yes?”

Moon Soo-hyun smiled victoriously at the two people’s words.

“Well… … He’s really handsome. No, I’m a writer. Do I really have to use such short expressions? Our Lee Dong-ha’s face, what should I say… … It has all the emotions melted into it, but it also has a decadent charm. Is there something about it that shakes women’s hearts? He’s much more handsome in person. When I wrote the script for , I actually wrote it thinking of Dong-ha, not the main character.”

The first meeting was the last meeting.

It was shocking.

As a writer, I also feel sorry and wonder why she doesn’t make dramas with this face.

Everyone says that acting skills are important. Even if this face is used to act with feet, it creates expectations that viewers will dance.

It was the first time I thought it would be okay for someone in my drama to act with their feet.

Anyway, the production company said that the pumpkin rolled in on a vine. From Moon Soo-hyun’s perspective, it was like the pumpkin rolled in on a vine.

The person who moved is not the most popular person in South Korea today.

Rising Star is definitely here.

The uniqueness of the rock band and the uniqueness of the band members combined make them more than just a rising star.

Not only did that person contact me first, but he also asked me to participate in the OST of a drama that was about to be produced.

The pumpkin came to Moon Soo-hyun, not the production company.

It was also a huge hit that he wanted to help out as much as possible in the work through consultation rather than simply participating in one song like before.

“I’m up, right, guys?”

“Oh, teacher. You haven’t answered us yet… … .”

“Yes. We work under a star writer, so shouldn’t we enjoy that little privilege?”

“Oh my. It’s been a while since you guys have come to life. Do you think it’s okay to do some more research?”

“We too can enjoy the right to strike.”

“Yes, yes. Overwork is fine, but not being able to see the people when they have the chance to move is a valid reason for a strike.”

The two who are raising a new writer always support each other as if one is following along when the other speaks.

That was pretty cute.

The fact that the work hasn’t started yet means less stress.

The joining of Lee Dong-ha must have been a great joy.

“Okay. Promise. But if you make a fuss and embarrass me, you die, right?”

“yes!”

“thank you!”

After receiving confirmation from both of them, Moon Soo-hyun smiled with satisfaction.

Is it because the kids aspire to be drama writers?

I don’t have much selfish motives toward actors, but I go crazy for idols.

Maybe it’s because it’s close but far.

Of course, there is public opinion that it is right to classify Lee Dong-ha as an idol… … but these days, internet public opinion is putting all of Blue Porcelain in the idol category.

At first it was kind of a meme, but now I’m just taking it seriously.

“But you’re so motivated… … . You weren’t like this when you worked before… … ?”

Writer Moon Soo-hyun bit his fingernails for a moment at the strong request to come to the script reading site.

In fact, music is inseparable from dramas.

It’s almost impossible for singers participating in an OST to visit the reading site.

The scene where the script is matched is actually a place where the actors are introduced.

It’s a place to check character interpretation. There’s nothing for the singer to do there.

That was a bit questionable, but since the opponent was the opponent, the algorithm worked in Moon Soo-hyun’s favor.

“Well, that would be good. If the participation rate is high.”

Lee Dong Hara is also evaluated more highly for her abilities as a producer than as a singer.

I think maybe we could meet and get some help working on a song.

at that time.

Moon Soo-hyun picked up his cell phone again.

It’s not like the writer has any say in all casting.

That doesn’t mean he has no influence on casting.

The more successful a writer becomes, the more influence he has over casting.

Because the previous work was successful, writer Moon Soo-hyun quickly started producing a sequel. His own division… … is still small in scale. In any case, he cast the actors he likes.

Among them, senior actors contact each other directly like this to show respect.

“Oh my. You received it very quickly, teacher.”

-That’s what I told you not to do, teacher.

“Then, sister?”

-Tell me. It gives me goosebumps.

“I’m calling to let you know the script reading date. I also wanted to ask how you’re doing.”

The person on the other end of the phone let out a satisfied laugh at Moon Soo-hyun’s words.

Rockstar Again Episode 165