Rockstar Again - Chapter 61



Only Noblemtl

Episode 61. 31 Years or 1 Year (2)

All things will go well.

Everything goes as planned, that’s what it means, but I interpret it a little differently.

Things go smoothly when Taeju hyung is around.

It was a matter of persuading Ahn Chi-seop, because the moment Tae-joo hyung showed his face, the game was over.

[My Pick’s Star PD Ahn Chi-seop’s next pick is a rock band!]

[PD Ahn Chi-seop’s belief: “This is not a simple competition for attrition, but we want to let people know that there are rock bands like this in Korea.”]

[Will Ahn Chi-seop’s choice be successful once again?]

[TH Enter A Fly, Rock Will Never Die Participation Confirmed!]

[JS, New Heart 7. TVK Rock Will Never Die join.]

It seems that CEO Yang Hong-soo is actively supporting Ahn Chi-seop.

PD Ahn Chi-seop seems to be moving with excitement. Just reading the press articles after our meeting, I can feel that things are progressing smoothly.

Although we were pushed back without much response, our team’s participation was also covered in the news.

[Cheong-A Ent. Rookie rock band Blue Porcelain. Rock Will Never Die participation.]

There weren’t many comments, and the ones that were there were mostly comments like, “Why don’t you show your faces when you see a picture of the four of us from the back?” and “If they’re a member of Cheong-A, they’re just a band in name only.”

Since it was material that was distributed directly by the company’s marketing team, I didn’t have any particular expectations.

In conclusion, it meant that the launch of the band competition program was approaching sooner than expected.

Blue Porcelain’s first broadcast stage was also captured.

Although many indie bands participate, it is different from when they were first selected because it is a competition program rather than an audition.

There is no such thing as a training camp or pre-level check.

Let’s just go straight to the stage and see who’s better.

That’s it.

It’s comfortable because the bands started seeing each other’s faces from the very beginning of the actual filming to show their true selves.

The competition format is… … similar to the World Cup.

Divide into groups and compete, and select a certain number of teams from each group.

The teams selected in this way compete against each other in a tournament format, with one team being eliminated or promoted one by one.

It’s good because it’s simple.

“You live so dynamically.”

The yellow one smiles, revealing its white teeth.

The winter wind blowing through the mountains rustles Nureongi’s few hairs.

I’m here. Please save me, it seems like he’s sending a distress signal.

As I take my eyes off the ground and look straight ahead, I notice the lights sparsely turned on below the mountain.

“what?”

“He suddenly disappeared, then suddenly appeared. He participated in an idol audition to find his hyungs. The PD beat him up for not keeping his promise, and after somehow finding all his hyungs, he started talking about competitions and stuff. It’s dynamic.”

“Are you jealous?”

“I’m jealous. He seems like a guy who does whatever he wants.”

“That’s funny.”

After grumbling for a moment, something like muttering came out of my mouth.

“Who wants to do auditions or competitions? It just happens. I was just planning to debut normally, do normal activities, get noticed normally, and then hit the top in Korea, and then go on a tour or something like that. What do I do if that doesn’t work out?”

“What a… ordinary, simple dream.”

“Right? But this time, you’re not so excited or anything?”

“Were you excited before?”

“Yeah. Pretty much.”

A year ago, that is… …31 years ago, to be exact.

I remember that at that time, I was quite excited about my debut.

I took the college entrance exam and was able to choose a university to attend. I was happily contemplating which one to eat first and which one to eat more deliciously, holding the rice cake in both hands: university and debut.

I had a thought that once the debut was confirmed, the freshmen would take a leave of absence.

Right now, I feel more fear than excitement.

I said it to my brothers as a joke, but they are my age too.

Having traveled through time once, I always have this vague anxiety in my heart about whether I can stay in this time zone forever.

That’s why I keep having those kinds of thoughts.

I want to run faster, I want to increase my speed… … .

So, Nureongi is a little more special to me.

“I didn’t know anything about alcohol back then.”

Beomseok snorted at my words.

“Originally, you learn how to drink from adults. You learned it a bit wrong. I’ll teach you properly.”

“Shit.”

“Have a drink.”

Beomseok held out a glass of wine that was clinking.

Instead of a clear, high-pitched sound, the sound of paper clinking reached my ears.

I still don’t know what alcohol tastes like, but I like these kinds of crisp sounds. The sound of glasses clinking when you’re drinking at a bar, the sound of meat crackling.

What people mistake for the taste of alcohol, isn’t it actually the taste of this sound?

“When an adult offers you a glass, you lower your glass slightly.”

“Are you an adult?”

“On the face value, I’m more of an adult than you.”

“It’s good to be old.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Half?”

And then we laughed and cracked our glasses hard.

“Uh… … Seriously. What does this taste like?”

“Take it slow. If you already know the taste of alcohol, would that mean you’re twenty?”

Without responding to Beomseok’s words, he slowly turned his head.

As I turn my gaze to the valley between the ridges below in the darkness, the lights from people dazzle my eyes.

Maybe it’s because it’s dark in other places and I can’t see well, but my eyes keep going to those lights.

Looking at that, I said to Beomseok.

“The 21st century is really bright. It’s pretty good here too.”

“It’s a good place.”

“What kind of place is this? It’s so cold.”

“Hey, Imma Mountain, is it cold or hot in December?”

“Who would call you a doctor? You have the hair on your head like an adult, but your mouth is still twenty.”

There was some pretty harsh language exchanged, but they weren’t fighting.

Maybe we do this on purpose, to avoid acknowledging each other’s differences.

I have this fear that if we talk to each other calmly and politely as if we were adults, one day we’ll end up acknowledging each other’s true biological age.

“Does the candy taste the same? I don’t know, but you would know, right? Try one.”

I took a bite of the shrimp chips given to me by the old Beomseok.

“It’s the same. Isn’t it? Has it gotten a little saltier?”

“It’ll be the same. At least it’ll taste the same.”

“right?”

“of course.”

“Want to have a drink?”

“Okay.”

Then Beomseok filled our glasses with soju again.

And the two of us clinked our glasses in silence and poured soju into our mouths. As if we had made a promise, we started chewing on the shrimp chips.

A cold mountain breeze blows on a December night, making me shiver.

And the cold winter wind takes me back to that time.

Since I’m such an extrovert, the only person I could call a real friend was Beomseok, but I still had classmates.

-Good. I guess I’ll have to try again.

-Are you going to Korea University? What major?

-Do you want to go to the billiard hall together?

-There’s a meeting going on. Are you going to join? They told me to bring you, but… … You’re not going, are you?

-Hey, you can’t take Dong-ha with you. When he comes, the girls won’t even look at us. Are we going to have a squid party by ourselves?

It was just a little bit of chatter, but some people who knew I was into music congratulated me on my debut in advance.

It would have been nice if I had just debuted normally like that.

He wrapped his arms around Beomseok’s body and spoke to him again.

“Hey. I have so many grievances. Do you know what the biggest grievance is?”

“… … Tell me. I will listen.”

“dad.”

“… … .”

“I should have made meals for my dad more often. I should have told him I loved him more often. When I turned 20, I should have insisted on having a drink with him. All of that. In fact, my dad was the one who was trying to be successful. I thought that if I became successful early, my dad wouldn’t have to work anymore and we could eat meals together leisurely at home.”

“Is this fucking sad battle?”

“Oh. If you have something to say, say it.”

At my words, Beomseok filled his glass of soju again.

“It’s the same. My son, Dong-ha, not you. When my wife was worried because he was late in talking, I should have taken him to the hospital early. It wouldn’t have made much of a difference, but I should have done more. I shouldn’t have had a hard time raising my son. I think I hugged him a lot, but I should have hugged him even more. When I told him I was going to America, I should have just followed my wife… … . I should have put his toys away properly. I shouldn’t have left him alone… … . That’s unfair, just like you said, Yola.”

“Is there a God?”

“You must be a god or something since you’ve time traveled.”

Listening to Beomseok’s words, this time I pulled both knees toward my chest.

The cold is subsiding.

But it wasn’t just the cold that kept me curled up.

“Is that so? But if God really exists, why did he do that? He prevented me from seeing my father die. He did the same to you. Especially, if God really exists, isn’t that something he would never do to a human being?”

“This X guy is really… … .”

“I’m getting angry for no reason. Your hyungs have fine hair, but you don’t have a cover. Don’t you feel cold when you look at it like that? It would be colder without fur, wouldn’t it?”

We glared at each other, then clinked our glasses and laughed out of context.

“It’s a lot better than when I first saw it.”

“Right? It’s driving me crazy. I still feel wronged, but I don’t feel like I’m going to explode. I just curse and move on.”

“Okay, that’s fine. The world is like a dog.”

I thought about that.

Beomseok and me too.

I think that the reason we met as half-humans was so that we could lean on each other and stand up straight.

If even one of them had been whole, would they have been able to live together like they do now, filling each other’s empty spaces?

I don’t think so.

If Beomseok had a family, they wouldn’t have been able to live together, and they wouldn’t have been tied together as a father and son, even though they are only on the family register.

I think we met now because we’re halfway there.

Brothers too.

If your lives had been full, we wouldn’t have been able to become one, so there must be something unfilled in your hearts.

I time-slipped to this era so that I could fill that need.

I turned my back and looked at the plump, raised tomb.

When you gain something, you lose something.

I learned that through time travel I didn’t want to do.

“Dad. I’m debuting again. This time, I’m really going to debut. Since there seems to be a God, then there must be a heaven and a kingdom of heaven. Please watch from there. I’ll work hard.”

Beomseok, who had been staring blankly at me, also nods his head and opens his mouth.

“Sir, I will take good care of you, so don’t worry and just rest. I will create a human being, get you married, and show you grandchildren.”

“… … Ugh, gross. What about the grandson?”

“Stay still. I’m talking to you, sir.”

“… … .”

“Sir, but the kid is still good. It’s because he doesn’t act like a brat. If he just fixes this, he’ll be a pretty good adult, Dong-ha.”

Then we got up and shook our butts.

I folded the mat I had brought and put it under my arm, picked up the remaining bottle of soju, sprinkled it on my father’s grave, and put it in a bag.

“Let’s go down. It’s cold.”

“Okay then.”

“If you come down, I’ll buy you a fur hat.”

“Okay, then.”

“Oh. It’s not shaking.”

“I’m an adult. What can an adult do if he has to put up with it?”

As he was coming down the stairs, Beomseok tapped him on the shoulder for no reason.

“When I make a lot of money, I’ll buy you a car.”

“I have a lot of money. I have a car.”

“I’ll buy you a house too. Okay?”

“Why are you like this? How much do you plan on ripping off before that?”

“Oh, come on. Just say you understand if I say I’ll buy it for you.”

“Just earn it and spend it.”

He stood still.

Then Beomseok also stops walking and looks back.

“Why are you doing that?”

I became irritated at those words and opened my mouth to complain.

“Hey, sir… … I’ll just accept it thinking that my son did it for me, okay? It’s not that hard, right?”

“… … If that’s the case, then say so.”

“It’s ridiculous. It’s not that I think you’re my real father, it’s just… … When I earn money, there are a lot of things I want to do for you, but I don’t have anyone to do them for. Then why don’t you just accept some? How much would I spend if I spent it on you? I’m going to make a lot of money?”

“Okay, okay. Hey, that guy’s going through puberty really late. Let’s go down. It’s cold. Let’s go down and find a noodle place. You’ll get some warm-up time.”

He pretended not to win and started walking again with his hands in his pockets.

“I don’t like soup. Let’s go to my house. Let’s eat ramen together, even if it’s all the way to my nostrils.”

“Nostrils? That student Minjae?”

“uh.”

“Why do you keep harassing students who are studying?”

“Studying? Him? Quite a lot.”

“Why are you calling that student?”

“I don’t know. It just occurred to me.”

……I don’t know.

I don’t know what I don’t know, but I don’t know anyway.

I’m confused as to whether it was 1 year ago or 31 years ago that I tried to debut.

If what they were trying to do back then was debut, then the accident happened right before their debut, so should we consider that as debut or not debut? They didn’t do any broadcasts and they didn’t sell any, but they did make an album.

If that’s the case, will tomorrow’s competition stage really be a debut?

The album is still in production, and we stopped recording because we felt that the members’ skills had not improved enough.

Then isn’t this not a debut?

No, usually they debut by appearing on a broadcast, so they don’t release an album, but it seems right to debut with Blue Porcelain.

I can’t even tell if the bald eagle next to me is a yellow bird, a friend, or a father…

“Look at your face. What’s still not clear?”

A hideous hybrid and unidentified beast looks at me and asks.

“Let’s go with the fragrant yellow one. The fragrant yellow one? Ah… … This one doesn’t really give me the right feeling… … .”

“?”

“Just be yellow. That’s the coldest.”

There’s a lot I don’t know, but one thing is certain.

That there is at least one person next to me who can be called family.

ah.

Another one.

That somehow I’m moving towards my dream again.

“What are you guys doing on a day like today? You didn’t make me practice until today, did you?”

“Am I some kind of evil boss? I told you not to come out of the practice room, so you must be doing something.”

“really?”

“Have I been living a life of deception?”

“I was deceived. I thought you were dead for 30 years.”

“… … On the topic of yellow.”

I kicked his butt for no reason and ran forward.

Rockstar Again Episode 62