She Returned as a Vampire - She Returned as a Vampire chapter 38

38 – Proving love is difficult, Niel.

“Did you really need to lock the door, Elena?”

“…Even if I didn’t lock it, you’re good enough to tell me not to make excuses.”

With a carefree smile, she… Ha.

The room is very spacious.

A room that could be twice as large as the living room of my house.

I couldn’t believe this sudden grandeur…

At her boil, she sat down in front of her desk, which was placed in the corner of her room, naturally as if it were her own home, and offered me a seat.

Those long legs were intentionally slightly twisted.

I still remember that soft yet elastic texture.

That bewildering smile that squeezed and squeezed me many times and made me laugh.

“It’s okay if you don’t look away. I’m asking you to look.”

Without hiding her intentions at all, she was rather intimidated by her attitude of quietly pushing herself into her inner face to enjoy her own body.

Even though I don’t want that.

I wish I could go a little farther.

With our relationship, I’m going to a higher place, a little more… Grander. I wanted to draw such pictures.

However, all of this collapsed at once.

After becoming blood relatives, everything went wrong.

In my body, in my love,

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In that fall, where I became the target of only one person, not the things I could do.

Maybe I just ended up being disappointed.

But if you ask me if I want these moments… I have no intention of denying my instincts.

She knows what she can do.

I have already felt it with my body several times, and I am the one who knows better than anyone else that I cannot resist it.

I clearly felt how sweet it was, and I also had a vague sense of what the ‘evil’ of my blood relatives was doing to me.

The whole body is covered with something like a drug… It’s tempting me.

Even now, this scent that approaches me tries to color everything in me.

To lose consciousness and make a doll that only moves according to her touch.

I couldn’t let it go like that. Of course.

That’s why I somehow managed to hold on to the spirit that was about to collapse, and sat down.

…If you knock on the door and cry out anyway, what you’ll find will be merciless rape.

Just when the red moon rose, the image of her forcing me to swallow her own standard of love by pushing against it has already left an indelible mark in a corner of my head.

And it was gradually blurring my baseline.

‘Wasn’t it fun? You were accepting that helplessness in a part of your heart.’

‘It was thrilling. It was so intense that her heart rang. The person you love will not leave your mind.

Wasn’t that the love you wanted?’

Something in her voice asks me.

From the other side of the darkness, a blurry figure reaches out to me with a smile.

‘Stop giving up. You know that you can’t escape

Don’t you remember what the guy you met said to you?

The desire to accept a lover who has become a monster is sincere.’

Yes, I definitely wanted to embrace her.

But that wasn’t what I was hoping for. Under oath.

I just want her to realize me once again… I wish…

‘Look at that.’

No, it can’t be.

Even if that were the case, it wouldn’t be like this. Yes, it had to be.

She couldn’t lose the person ‘me’ to her.

She collapsed on this pleasure of her, and I couldn’t lose this wish of her that I wanted to reach with her her utopia of her dreams.

A future where each other leads each other,

I wonder if I can no longer dream of her like this?

My breath was getting rough, and the heat was making my eyes hot and wet.

I was being swallowed up by emotions.

And she watched me without a word.

***

“What did you want, Niel?”

Her … Her With her in front of her, I straightened up and faced her, reflecting on my focus on her feelings.

I had to get my head together.

Because I can face her like this once again.

Isn’t it possible to spend the best opportunity of conversation with only tears like this?

“My, ugh, is that what I want?”

I put my words down one by one, forcing myself to feel like a liquid that was still flowing over a full cup.

Looking at me indifferently, she calmly continued her story.

“It’s what you expect from me. You didn’t always focus on mixing with me.

Leaving everything aside, even in the midst of lusting after each other like beasts, you didn’t let go.

Seriously, I did my best not to embrace me. I know that now.”

I couldn’t put down the words that I had to take out at the moment to the sharp words, but to the words that were not wrong.

Even though I had to answer her, I was embarrassed by her lips that couldn’t be easily separated, and I tried my best to answer her somehow, breathing in and out of her.

And when this brief moment of chaotic silence came to an end, a mess of pitch and tempo all came out of my mouth.

“Oh, no. I didn’t. I love you, and I still-“

“Don’t do that.

I know you love me. That’s already normal

It’s like the basic line at the very bottom of our relationship.

And calm down a bit. Niel.

I’m the one who wants to reconcile, and I’m the one who should feel sorry for you,

You shouldn’t be so frightened, right?”

It was as if she and I were completely reversed.

She was rather like me, and I was like her.

As if I had become a vampire,

It seemed like she was comforting me.

I was confused. From where to where… I couldn’t get a sense of what to correct.

But even in these dizzying moments, if there’s one thing that’s clear,

Now she was approaching attractively.

She’s not driven by instinct, when she was human she was the things she did when she and I first met.

When we were still awkward with each other, we exchanged thoughts – the days when we talked about our ideals.

The moments when we talked about each other’s dreams, subtly overlapped them, and dreamed about the picture that came out.

As if you recalled the past as it was and took it out and showed it as it is,

She looked at me calmly and struggled to make me feel comfortable.

As if to relieve the awkward atmosphere,

As if pulling out a tangled ball of thread one by one.

“That’s right… It’s okay. If you feel tired, you can take a break. When the time comes when we can talk again, would you like to do it again?

Do you want to lay down on the bed and rest for a while? It’s hard. Yes?”

Tak, tak.

Even at a glance, her charming face pats the bed, which looks so soft and cozy, and raises the corners of her mouth.

In my sight, I wanted to throw myself into her soft embrace, into her warm… Maybe even better than that bed.

Not only her body, but even her soul, was now calling out to her to kneel down completely.

Stop letting go, stop chasing illusions that won’t be useful anyway.

Maybe the things of her that I want are her little excuses for not accepting her.

It might be a low-level angst that I just wished she knew it a little more clearly because she was offended that she hadn’t acknowledged me until now.

It was good for her to quit if these things continued to make her suffer.

But, I wanted to tell a story.

Rather than giving up on her right away, I wanted to get to know her a little more now.

Things that you wouldn’t know if you didn’t express them, I hoped that now would be the time to honestly shake off everything.

Then, even if I give her my body, give her my heart and soothe her scars… It won’t be too late.

“Oh, no. That’s not it. It’s okay. I want to talk a little more now, Elena. A little more…”

When she heard my request, her eyes twitched slightly, and the sound of her fingernails clashing was heard.

It must have been an answer she didn’t want.

But she immediately corrected her expression and tried to reassure me.

He calmed me down with a sweet voice and slowly put his hand on the desk.

“Okay. Let’s do that.

So… Yes. Niel, what do you want to do?

Do you really want me to never even touch you?

This… ‘Poison,’ or should I say the blood of a blood relative?

If you don’t want to put even this on your body, I will.

A painkiller should be available now. Maybe it could be in this mansion.

The woman who studied vampires and blood relatives was the owner of this place.

I value you the most. I want you to know that.

Above all else, I want you to know that winning your love is now my goal in life.”

Yes, as expected, you were like that.

Since you changed, you have become irreversible.

“Is that so, so… Is that so.

You know, Elena. What is the love you speak of?

Simply getting me? Just… Being next to you, mingling with you, verbally whispering I love you, stroking your hair.

Now, while giving you blood, passing your time in a daze, drunk on your body… Is it love?”

I didn’t say it in a reproachful tone.

She simply asked her a question.

If this is really what she wants,

If we are now standing at a point of no return,

I didn’t want… Any more friction and collisions.

Continuously, she seduces, and I push away.

It would be right for me to give up if there is pain in it.

“You’ve been thinking more deeply than I thought, Niel.

I must have… Ignored that love was not that simple to you.

I’m sorry. I keep apologizing – I’d like to be a little, no, maybe a lot of disappointment.

I, I…

Hey, can I tell you all the things I feel for you?

Even at this moment, I am swallowing a mixture of many emotions.

I am proud, proud, thankful, happy, and lovable of you for not giving up on me and continuing to talk to me – Oh, yes. Except this is something I have to explain…

Happy, cute, cute, attractive, reassuring, erotic looking, keeps wanting to attack,

I want to be cute, I want to play a little prank,

I feel sorry, guilty, depressed, sick, angry…

Umm… Again,

The way you’re embarrassed, the way you’re happy, the way you’re worried because of me,

The sad look, the angry look, the despair look,

Everything I want to put in these two eyes.

Isn’t this all contained in the word love, Niel?

It’s difficult, how to express these things.

Of course, I have confidence in expressing myself through my body.”

“So… That’s how it is, Elena.”

“No, I’m not going to do that.”

She picked up the knife I had put down and put it in my hand.

She wants to surrender to me, she keeps fighting, she speaks, she can’t understand her. I open her eyes wide and look at her, she smiles bitterly and puts her hand closer to me. Put

“I really want you to fall for me.

Just like I’ve already fallen for you, I want you to dream only of a ‘love’ future for the two of us, putting down all worries and worries with me.

Not those grand goals you’re chasing after, not the things I threw away with her when I killed her.

I want to erase all the things that made you sick and live a life looking for things that can make you feel comfortable and smile.

And… It’s persuasion.”

“Persuasion.”

She persuaded me.

She is trying to make me understand.

She, who used to forcefully try to entice me by emphasizing only her body, now tries to coax me with her sweet words.

That’s why I’m afraid.

The girl who doesn’t choose any means and methods to make her put everything down.

“To be honest, I was just about to rape you again.

I was wearing tight clothes on purpose, just to seduce you –

I didn’t even think about how you feel.

I just tried to rely on your consideration again, the heart that you truly want me. I was getting farther and farther away from getting it.

That must be wrong, that is. If you keep pushing at someone who says you don’t like it, you’ll only get sick.

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It must be difficult to prove that I changed for you and to be loved by you. Maybe it will take a lifetime.

But I think that’s why I became like this.

Punishment to a woman who has never been sincere to you who has never been sincere to me.

And that none other than me got this chance to show you my appreciation for those moments.

So, let’s try it.

So I hope you will be much more careful than you are now.

I want you to teach me how much your love weighs.

That’s how I think I’ll cherish you while thinking about it.

How difficult it is to let the person you love truly feel loved.

And when that day comes, Niel.

I will never miss this one.”