She Returned as a Vampire - She Returned as a Vampire chapter 53

53 – I can’t let go of my hands.

“f*ck – head…”

To the point where I can’t even figure out how many times I’ve lost my mind.

The feeling of being cut off with a ping after reaching the limit of physical strength was not worth experiencing again and again,

I can’t even feel that pleasant.

Above all, this weather was not refreshing.

Because there was her just staring blankly at me who woke up holding her head.

No laughter, no crying, no anger…

The girl who puts me in her empty eyes without any emotion makes it feel like she really gave up on everything.

I should have held her hand first,

Should…

“Helena?”

She tried to get away from me, trembling her body, hiding her own hands altogether.

She was barely able to find her feelings in her once again, but there was only terror and fear in her.

I pull her body a little closer to her as she creeps away from me, her eyes swaying violently.

As expected,

She’s trying to get away from me all the way to the bottom of her ass.

But she doesn’t try to run out of the room.

She doesn’t even try to take those eyes off me.

It seemed that his gaze was always fixed on me.

Even if I lean her body like this, even if I turn her head around-

That’s right. Her eyes follow.

“Elena.”

“Don’t call me that kindly.”

Her head flinched once at the sound of her voice, then she crouched down to the point where I couldn’t believe she was the kind of woman who had slaughtered the vampires.

Full of anxiety, what is she afraid of, her tear-soaked voice spilling out of her mouth?

“I don’t deserve your attention. I’m not worthy of your attention, and I’m not the kind of woman who deserves such warm glances.”

Her hand was raised, pointing out of her door.

“Was it Yuliana?

Because she suits you much better.

Forget about me.

I’d rather you leave ruthlessly.”

I could see how messed up that was.

To be precise, the inner thoughts she expressed while bringing out her words.

You could see how mangled it was.

“I know I’m lying if I say that.”

“No, no, no, not this time. Never.

Always I never spoke for you.

I’ve never acted like that before.

I’m a woman who can’t help you.

I understand now.

If you stay by my side, your heart will only be scratched and hurt.

I’ve never been of any help to you.

So get away from me – “

Looking at it now, she didn’t look normal at all.

Her hair is disheveled, and the shadows under her eyes are severe.

Even her skin lost its luster.

And she was talking.

“It’s only now that I can muster up the courage.

And now I think I can say it more clearly than ever.

I can’t be a good girl for you.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t reach you.

Every time it touches you, you get hurt and bounce off.

How dare I, how dare I love you?”

Again she grabbed her arm and started bleeding from her.

That day, just as she had bitten herself in her room, she-

No, you already did that.

I had already scratched her body so many times that her clothes were turning into rags.

“Stop it, Elena.”

“No, no. I must be sick more than you are sick.

Because the cursed body doesn’t even leave a scar, it must hurt more.

More wounds, more blood than you ever had – “

“I told you to stop.”

He set her blades on her fingernails and held her wrists tight as she tried to stab them into herself again.

Considering the power she possesses, it may not have been enough to stop her, but

At least her heart seemed to be sensitive enough to react greatly to each and every touch of mine.

“Huh…”

I wonder if she is the same woman who smiled brightly at me even after slaughtering countless vampires.

Now, a word from me, a gesture from my hand, makes me shrink and panic like this.

She morbidly tries to get away from me, but she is at a loss for fear that I will get hurt.

“Ha, please don’t do it, Niel, I-I made my decision after thinking a lot.

Don’t keep looking at me like that.

I am not a poor woman.

A terrible monster that should not be pitied.

The woman who hurt you and nearly killed you,

Why do you keep giving me such warmth, please, stop…”

Without struggling, unable to even startle a hand,

As I hugged her without saying a word, she collapsed.

“Huh, uhhh…”

My clothes were wet in an instant as tears poured out.

But she didn’t catch me.

As if the sunflowers were just regretting that the sun was going down.

Knowing too well that I had no strength to hold on,

Just staring blankly at the sun disappearing over the mountains or disappearing over the horizon…

I feel like I’ve become a plant like that.

…I don’t know what to say.

The person who needs to be comforted is

And I think I’m the one who should cry while receiving her apology,

It is she who is broken.

She didn’t do anything like reflection, she believed so.

Seeing her still in my arms, horribly broken in front of her, I couldn’t even argue with her.

Couldn’t hug me like before,

I couldn’t even boldly seduce her.

All she could do was bury her face in my arms and shake her body while shedding tears for a long time.

Without even touching my body.

***

“Now I can talk to you.”

I was able to formally greet Yuliana only after I laid Elena, who had fallen asleep from her crying, on her bed, and handed her a shirt that would have my scent on her.

She performed her miracle for her injured comrades, bandaged her, and was able to take a break.

For her tiredness, I gave her a ride in the car instead, then pulled out her chair and made her sit comfortably.

“The vampire servants don’t seem to know how to treat me. It shouldn’t be that hard.”

When she said that after turning her mansion upside down, she felt like she was about to lose once again what she had barely regained.

“Of course. I heard your miracle was so strong? You’ve changed a lot… And grown up, considering we haven’t met in just three years.”

My childhood friend who I’ve been spending time with since childhood has become a full-fledged ‘preacher’ before I know it.

Although it is called a ‘purifier’ among adventurers.

The church’s vanguard, clearing everything on its way with overwhelming light and white flames.

The fact that she came herself… Well.

Perhaps he came to tell Elena of her death,

The reason nothing has happened so far could be the friendship between me and her,

I thought so.

“I never thought meeting you would be so difficult… And in such a twisted form.

After three years and a little more since I hadn’t heard from you, I fell in love with a woman who didn’t seem to be an ordinary vampire, and…

When you’re tied up in such a lascivious and filthy way,

I went out without any countermeasures to the outside where it was snowing all by myself and came back with my life at stake.

I don’t quite understand what happened to you when I didn’t see you.”

She pressed both hands to her temples as if she was completely fed up,

She smiled awkwardly at her as she shot at me with her blue eyes.

“People change a little when they fall in love… Me or she.”

“Enough to casually attempt murder?”

…

Obviously she killed someone.

I also killed a lot of vampires without hesitation.

And… Maybe the people who got hurt this much too.

“You know, Niel. I don’t know the details of how you got involved with her.

But it’s easy to guess that it’s not in perfect shape.

And… I don’t think you’re normal either.”

I flinched once at the sharp stabbing words, then gently opened my mouth.

“If you say no…?”

“She heard everything from her.

They lined it up as if in desperation.

To be able to stay by her side even after being raped.

Are you insane?”

Are you talking about the night you were forcibly raped?

Of course, it wasn’t pleasant.

But on the other hand, I felt like I could understand it now.

Above all, if you had that guilt until now.

“At least you’ve realized that it was wrong. Seriously.”

Then she was busy justifying herself,

If she was now admitting her wrongdoing and was in remorse, it seemed enough that I would be willing to face her once again.

… If I can’t suffer from her guilt and become that kind of person, it might be right for me to forgive her quickly.

Before more problems arise.

“Her other people might have abandoned her because they got tired of her old work.

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No, she might have run away from her at the point she became her vampire in the first place. Is not it?”

“I’m not ordinary.”

The words just weren’t very good.

Her eyes are fierce, but when you frown, she looks even more frightened.

How come all the girls around me look so strong…

“Is her life worth loving her?

You know, Niel. If it’s normal love, we should embrace each other.

To protect, cherish, push and pull each other.

It is never right for one side to unilaterally exploit the other. And it’s like any relationship.”

With a click, the teacup was put down.

Her barely drunk tea showed how much she cared about my situation, not even enjoying her tea properly.

“Niel, my sincere advice, if it were me, I’d quit.

I am speaking for you.”

I definitely knew and understood what her eyes were saying.

If it’s that heart that worries about me, she has already received it to overflowing.

However, despite knowing that it will make her stifle her…

I couldn’t help but nod my head at her words.