The Blind Saint Who Can See - Chapter 41
Only Noblemtl
#41. After waking up from a dream (2)
Even if I had ten mouths, I would have nothing to say.
For the first time in his life, Cedric realized the precise use of that idiom. There could never have been a more appropriate time to use it.
“Youth.”
“…I have something to ask.”
Low, cold tone.
The pure-white woman with her eyes closed was holding the edge of the blanket so tightly that her slender hands turned pale.
My heart sank at the sight of her fleeting appearance, as if she might collapse at any moment.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Youth, I.”
“I knew it.”
I can’t read the expression.
Regret? Anger? Resentment? Shame?
At least it was clear that she didn’t look like the usual ‘saint’. Cedric felt a little guilty about being a little happy about that fact, wondering if she was being treated specially.
“You didn’t want to pretend to know me?”
“That’s not it.”
He opened his mouth and closed it again.
He wanted to be as selective as possible with his words. He wasn’t particularly good with words, and his feelings for her lately were just too complicated.
I was happy to be reunited with her, but I was also embarrassed to see myself so pitiful in front of her. I couldn’t bring myself to honestly confess these feelings.
So, by any means-
“…I’m kidding!”
But when Justinas wiped away his dejected expression and put on his usual masked smile, Cedric sensed something was wrong.
“I’m sure you had your own reasons. I was a little flustered, but… … I actually had some idea.”
She smiled brightly.
“Aren’t my eyes a bit dirty?”
“what?”
Where the hell are you?
In what context do you think that?
As Cedric’s eyes grew as big as pearls, Justinas still covered his closed eyes with a mechanical smile.
“I’m different now than I was when you remembered me. I fully understand why you feel awkward.”
“…What are you talking about?”
“Cedric. I’m not normal.”
She spoke calmly.
“The eyes that were blinded by the flames and the leg that was injured this time will probably never return to their original state.”
For a moment, Cedric shuddered as a pain stabbed deep into his lungs. All the flaws she had mentioned were related to him.
“Of course, if it means I can save people, I don’t mind sacrificing my body. However… … .”
Her smile faded.
“The moment the title of saint disappears, I, with my infirmities, will become nothing more than a useless human being. Perhaps that is why you avoid me.”
“Youth.”
“I was a little sad. … But don’t worry. It’ll be okay tomorrow.”
“Youth!”
He couldn’t bear it any longer and grabbed Justinas’ shoulder.
“You think it’s gross? Why would you think that? I’ve never felt that way when I look at you!”
It was true.
In the first place, he had never thought that Justinas would care about such trivial matters. She was too stubborn to be obsessed with superficial appearances.
And to begin with, above all else, Justinas was too beautiful to be hidden by her fixed eyes and scars. If she had not been blind, she would never have been able to tell the story she is telling now.
Because every day I will see the face of a unique beauty in the world in the mirror.
“Cedric, you are so kind.”
“You must be the kind one!”
He shouted nervously.
“And what do you mean by useless? What on earth were you thinking? That’s why I pretended not to know you in the first place.”
Her head rose, her eyes still closed.
Cedric tried to hold back his heart, which felt like it was going to burst out.
“You pretended not to know…?”
“That’s, that’s… … .”
Let’s just say it.
Just be honest. It’s not that hard. Really.
“I was embarrassed… … so I did that.”
Okay, I said.
Cedric spoke his heart out in a crawling voice.
“You’ve become such an amazing person without me even knowing it, but I… … When I stand in front of you, I feel like I’ve become that sloppy kid I was when I first met you.”
Now that I say it, it’s okay-
Instead, his face turned bright red. He felt like he wanted to die just imagining how hideous his current expression would be.
“I’ve always received from you. It was you who saved a kid begging in a back alley and turned him into a human, it was you who saved children from a fire, it was you who saved me from a foolish dream. In return, you… … lost a lot.”
The more I talked, the more the pain multiplied. Every time I looked at her closed eyes and scarred legs under the blanket, a thorn of guilt stabbed my chest.
Cedric finally couldn’t stand it anymore and knelt on the floor. Because of his large build, he was still roughly eye level with Justinas, who was lying on the bed.
He desperately held onto Justinas’s hand, which was rough from the wounds.
“When we met again, I promised myself that I would protect you even at the cost of my life. But what am I doing now? Whenever I stand in front of you, I act like a fool, damn it, there’s nothing I can do but save you. Nothing!”
It was a miserable confession. Cedric roughly rubbed his cloudy eyes.
Justinas kept his mouth shut and said nothing, so the only thing that could be heard in the room was Cedric’s excited, still groaning for a long time.
How much time has passed like that?
“… … Cedric.”
Justinas stretched out his right hand.
Grope, grope.
The hand that had been wandering in the air as if searching for something very slowly touched his nose and soon moved to his left cheek.
Having found the right position, Justinas soon placed his left hand on his right cheek.
Hands that are scabbed over by wounds are rough.
But it’s warm.
His face was now perfectly still between both hands.
It was a weak force that could be shaken off at any moment. However, it was also a restraint that Cedric could never resist.
Cedric opened his wet eyes wide at the sight of Justinas in front of him.
The sunlight streaming through the window softly circled around her, and he was struck by the feeling that he was standing before a legendary holy painting.
Then laughter was heard.
“… Youth?”
“Sorry. I just thought it was funny.”
Cedric looked at Justinas with a blank expression. Unlike before, she was smiling with a completely ‘human’ face.
“I guess we’re still children in front of each other.”
She let out a sigh with a hint of laughter.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been this honest. As you know, a saint is not one to pour out her emotions, but to accept them.”
Cedric found great comfort and kinship in those words. He too had not been so sullen in ten years as he had been just now.
“so do i.”
“Yeah. I thought so. Cedric grew up to be a great swordsman.”
She smiled brightly.
“Just like I said 10 years ago, you’ve become a good adult. I’m glad.”
“…uh.”
For a moment, my throat suddenly closed.
Cedric looked back on his actions over the past ten years with horror.
‘You’ll be disappointed, right?’
To be honest, Cedric never once thought of himself as a ‘good adult’. Common sense dictates that a murderer who kills hundreds of people at a time should not be judged that way.
“Hey, Yus. Actually… … .”
I’m not that good of an adult.
Sorry.
Still, I’ll try. I can be anything you want me to be.
really-
The moment I was about to offer an apology.
“So you don’t have to feel sorry. If it means protecting Cedric, a good adult, I wouldn’t mind giving up my legs.”
Cedric took a sharp breath.
It was a lonely battle. After Justinas’ death (or not), his sleeping conscience came out and stabbed him, saying, “How dare you forget me?”
“Cedric? Why are you so nervous?”
“Oh, it’s nothing.”
He still struggled on Justinas’ hand, which was holding his cheek, with his eyes still dead black.
Wanting to be half-dead is a cancellation. If he had a conscience, he should have jumped out the window and died right now.
‘I’m trash.’
Cedric laughed glumly at himself.
***
‘hmm.’
Meanwhile, Justinas sighed happily as he looked at the gloomy Cedric.
The character of ‘a saintly woman who is strong on the outside but gentle on the inside, who shows her honest feelings to her first love when she meets him again, but never forgets her duty’ was a setting that contained its own philosophy.
The character she plays, Justinas, is a perfect adult. An adult who always maintains integrity and is willing to jump into a pit of fire for others.
However, she is by no means emotionless. She too is a weak human being who feels anxiety, fear, and despair.
However, the reason why ‘Justina’ is a saint is because she stood up to fulfill the mission given to her despite any hardships and trials.
… was the setting that Yuna Lee set in Justinas. In any case, the concept quality is helpful for the quest.
‘I never thought it would collapse like this so soon. This is a better result than expected.’
In fact, what she had hoped for was at best the effect of provoking Cedric’s guilt and increasing his loyalty. If the story went well, she was also planning to act as his lover.
Can’t I do anything?
If I could go back home.
“Yuna, you said you were going to get off work today, right? Should I have Mom pick you up from school?”
“Ahem. Daddy believes in our daughter.”
“… Well, if you’re my older sister, you’d naturally get a doctorate. Just be smart enough! It really annoys me when I’m compared to you.”
Tiring.
A status window is reflected in the frozen wall.
[Main Quest]
Save a billion people.
Current: 50,882,212
She looked at the quest progress that was slowly increasing, and thought with a blank expression while hugging Cedric.
‘Ah. I miss Mom.’