The Blind Saint Who Can See - Chapter 82
Only Noblemtl
#82. Regrets that go back (14)
I declined Cedric’s offer of a hug.
As for the hands and feet, the index finger and the index finger were starting to grow new skin. Of course, there was no problem walking like before.
Knock, taaak… … Knock, taaak… … .
Walking is a daily routine now.
Honestly, I had no regrets about the condition of my body.
Eyes? Looks like a skill.
Legs? It’s more comfortable if you hug me.
Frail body? For some reason or another, I was only studying and was weak.
Rather, thanks to my skills in maintaining dignity and cleanliness, I have a body that is healthier than modern people, with no scoliosis or turtle neck. I am perfect, except for the severed nerve in my leg.
“The weather is really nice in Hydrangea. Isn’t it?”
“… … Youth.”
Cedric seems to think differently, though.
I stopped walking at a suitable pavilion. The cool autumn breeze brushed my forehead.
It was a nice day.
“I wish you didn’t have to suffer. You, you… are too self-sacrificing. You’ve always been that way since you were little.”
“Cedric.”
“No matter how kind a person is, he or she won’t shoulder the misfortune of a complete stranger. Right? How is that any different from being foolish?”
Cedric, who had just finished talking, looked as if he was in shock. He hesitated when he saw my face.
“That’s it, Youth. I mean, it’s not that you’re stupid, it’s just… … .”
“know.”
I smiled faintly.
“You’re just being rude because you’re worried about me. I know that.”
Cedric licked his lips.
“But Cedric, this isn’t foolish at all.”
I know how I look.
But what if it’s not actually a foolish act?
I must return.
I have a precious family in Korea, and less precious, my PhD and friends.
I remembered the last moment.
[Mom: Yuna, are you okay?]
[Mom: He’s not answering my calls and he’s not coming home. I’m worried.]
[Mom: If you see this, be sure to call me. And eat well.]
My mother always worries about me.
My daughter is now in her late twenties, and I have put all the effort into raising her and raising the family to study on her own…
How devastated would that mother be if she found my body fallen from the hospital rooftop?
What about the father next to him? What about Dojun, who is just now starting college?
My hands are shaking just thinking about it.
Yeah, suicide was crazy.
It must have been crazy back then.
Because I thought that the end of my 14 years of hard work would be blindness and death.
But no.
6 years of high school, 4 years of college, and 4 years of graduate school.
The 14 years of hard work were never all suffering. The act of exploring and learning new facts was very enjoyable, and there were always good people by his side to support him.
Also, getting a PhD does not necessarily guarantee the end of hardship and the beginning of happiness.
Because in the first place, there is no ending to the game called life. There is only game over, which is death.
Before I died, I was so scared and hated the world that I momentarily forgot that important fact.
In that sense, the opportunity I got from ‘Justinas’ was more precious than gold.
Even if my mission had been ‘kill a billion people,’ I would gladly have become a mass murderer.
Of course, it’s better now.
The reason is. What.
“Life is the most precious thing in the world. If you could exchange that life for the suffering of just one person, who would refuse it?”
What he said to Cedric was pure sincerity.
Even that pain was an illusion.
How many people in the world would choose walking around for a few days with a bandage on their backs vs. the Black Death spreading throughout the country and causing mass deaths?
“Rather, it is a very efficient act.”
Cedric furrowed his brow.
“Efficiency without considering your pain?”
“I always say, it’s my duty to take care of it-”
“Who set that duty!”
He shouted.
As expected from the worst villain in the original work, he doesn’t seem to agree with good ideas.
Between wrapping up a bandage and killing a nation, he’d confidently choose the latter.
I explained kindly, raising my eyebrows.
“Because God chose me.”
“Your opinion was not reflected.”
“Do you really think so?”
“……what do you mean?”
As they say, raising a child is useless.
Still, I think it’s great that you’ve been staying by my side for months, keeping your temper in check, so I’ll give you a special mention.
“Everyone says that orphans from Kieto inevitably become criminals when they grow up. But that’s nonsense.”
“what…….”
“Even if we have nothing, even if we come from Kieto, the so-called garbage dump of the Western Continent… … it’s up to us to decide what kind of adults we become.”
At this point, a refreshing smile.
“I want to be an adult who saves the world.”
Cedric opened his eyes.
“-I told you clearly when we first met. Did you forget?”
“No. I didn’t forget, though.”
“Everyone has at least one dream they had when they were young.”
It was the same for me too.
My real childhood, not the one I was acting as, 10 years ago, as Justinas.
“I’m going to build a maglev train!”
I saw a levitating train in a sci-fi movie and it was so cool that I really wanted to make one. Then I found out that commercializing that levitating high-speed train would require a room-temperature superconductor, so I thought, “Then I should become a physicist!”
Ta-da! I’m a graduate student.
That wouldn’t have been possible, f*ck.
Well. Uh. Anyway.
“I’m just living a dream. How is it, full of romance?”
“I don’t get it.”
Despite my strong persuasion, the villainous dream tree Cedric did not fall for it. He kept washing his face dry and muttering.
“I don’t understand.”
“… … I can’t help it.”
I started walking again.
It was exactly the opposite of the way I came.
Passing by Cedric, who still had his hand on his face, I spoke in a slightly bitter tone.
“Still, I hope you understand, Cedric.”
That way you can avoid the explosion ending.
Nuclear bomb, please stop!
“… … .”
Cedric didn’t answer either. I left him looking distraught and went back to my room.
‘Liliana is not here.’
Did you go out for a night walk?
It was annoying when our bathroom times overlapped, so I quickly washed up before she came and went to bed.
Then suddenly I realized.
‘I was half sincere in what I said just now… ‘
Despite that, I spoke similarly to my usual self. Is it because of the concept that became as natural as breathing?
It seems like the line between Yuna and Justinas is becoming increasingly blurred.
“……hmm.”
I’m not sure if this is a good idea.
As I was pondering, a blue status window appeared before my eyes.
[Cedric Neon feels an intense awe towards you.]
[Advance points +300]
‘You don’t know if XX is good? Are you kidding me?’
Points are copied in one concept!
I laughed to myself and then fell asleep feeling Do Hye-won’s fur digging into me.
It was a good night.
***
Meanwhile, in the men’s room.
“Why are you so late?”
Izumi, who was well-prepared, asked as the door creaked open late at night.
However, when Cedric returned, he just staggered around like a man out of his mind and didn’t respond. It wasn’t a very pleasant sight to see a man over six feet tall swaying like a balloon doll.
“Hmm.”
Izumi let out an awkward groan at her roommate’s sudden fluttering.
Empty eyes. A listless look. No answer when called.
What did they call this phenomenon when they studied psychiatry?
No matter how hard I tried, there was not a single bit of knowledge left in my head.
‘That’s why I said that ordinary people won’t do it!’
Izumi, who graduated from the bottom of the Tokyo University School of Medicine, thought that she was terribly unskilled at studying. It was a lie that most students would beat up if they knew about, but in this world, it is a meaningless assumption.
Another person who came over with me was also a genius without a conscience who was on the verge of getting his PhD after only four years of graduate school.
anyway.
Cedric was the first to speak, making it seem as if the experienced doctor had been thinking hard.
“hey.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“You must have someone precious to you, too?”
Izumi blinked.
Although we had been together for quite some time, this was the first time Cedric had approached me first.
“…there is.”
“If that precious person has a path they want to take, will you support them?”
“Of course, right?”
“Even if it’s dangerous?”
Izumi’s head turned.
“Can you cheer for that person even if it’s obvious that the path will be full of thorns, even if it just seems like they’re doing something good for others?”
“uh…….”
He was lost in thought for a moment.
Cedric couldn’t take his eyes off the young man who seemed to be thinking deeply, even crossing his arms and closing his eyes.
Izumi Polly.
He, who was chosen as the great warrior and saint along with Justinas, is incomparably upright and pure. If Justinas had grown up normally without losing his eyesight, wouldn’t he have been similar to this young man? Enough to make such an impossible assumption.
“Is that path harmful to others or a socially taboo evil?”
“No. Rather, I think it could be seen as the opposite.”
“Then yes!”
Izumi shouted cheerfully.
“If I were you, I would cheer you on!”