The Damn Family Is Back Again - Chapter 374



374. Yggdrasil Project (14)

Just a moment ago, his temper had been flaring.

He had been grinding his teeth, overwhelmed with humiliation.

However.

The question hit me, and my voice just caught.

-Ah. I guess you don’t even remember having a hair tie?

That word, “hair tie,” made my thoughts seize up, like they’d just frozen solid.

“…”

…Right. I’d been feeling a hollowness, for a while now.

There was this strange sense of something being missing, in my hair.

That emptiness, it wouldn’t just go away, not easily.

There was this nagging, frustrating feeling like something *should* be there.

Only now could Arina recognize that frustration.

The cause was the hair tie.

The one Karsein gave me.

It was gone.

It was strange.

Replacements were everywhere. I could have bought any number of decent hair accessories from the market.

Something that could enhance my elegance. Something that could convey a dignified air. Even things that went beyond mere decoration and had added functionality, the kind Claire sells at her boutique.

People around me knew this, and they’d even offered hair ornaments, on purpose.

Especially during gift-giving season.

But none of them felt right.

Once I felt that emptiness, I kept fiddling with my hair.

Even though I was wearing things that felt better, felt more secure, or were even better fashion-wise, I still did it.

I’d felt an inexplicable unease.

Even discomfort, creeping in.

Every time I tied my hair, it was like I’d forgotten something.

…Ever since that hair tie disappeared.

‘Why…had I forgotten about it?’

The one who gave me that hair tie.

It was none other than Carsein.

But even now, recalling that hollowness, doesn’t offer any answers to the question.

-Do you remember the day I gave you that hair tie?

“…”

The question comes again.

I couldn’t answer.

Even though Carsein gave me that hair tie, no matter how hard I tried to remember when it was, it wouldn’t come to mind.

When was it?

Why did Carsein give it to me that day?

Was it a special day?

What was the weather like? What was my schedule? What time did I receive this hair tie?

It’s all blank.

Just a complete white page.

I remember nothing.

One day. Two days.

One week. Two weeks.

One month. Two months.

And… until the year changed.

Not a single memory remained.

It was as if those memories had been completely erased from her mind.

“That kind of…! What does it matter that I don’t know about that kind of thing!”

Arina, unable to recall anything, huffed and shouted.

“If I don’t remember it, then it was a meaningless day anyway. It must have been a day that wasn’t even that important! What’s the big deal about you handing me just a hair tie?!”

It shouldn’t be strange that she couldn’t remember.

“Right. I get that you gave me a hair tie. But, didn’t you get rid of it yourself? You even tore it apart and ruined it with your own hands. And now you want me to remember it? That’s absurd!”

Absolutely.

It absolutely shouldn’t be strange.

“Heh.”

As soon as she said that, Karsein’s laughter could be heard.

Very loudly.

He laughed loudly enough that it could be heard over here.

“Ha. Amazing. You really think so.”

And it never deviates from what was expected.

Karsein added, his voice drained, then laughed loudly once more.

Strange.

Strangely, a bizarre emotion laced that laugh.

Why the hell?

It’s just mockery, that’s all it is.

If it goes on any longer, it’ll just be jeering at a loser.

So why does this uneasy feeling creep in?

‘No.’

That can’t be.

There’s no reason to get anxious.

It’s just going to be lies and─

“The day you gave me that hair tie was the day you tried to abandon me.”

“…What?”

“It was you, not anyone else, who tried to secretly leave me in the streets, on the Snow Festival day.”

Thud.

The moment I heard those words, one side of my chest caved in.

…Why, why had I forgotten this?

Vivid memories began to bloom within the gaping hole in my chest.

“I was quarantined for beating the hell out of some noble, that was my punishment, and I had to spend the day in another room, unable to enjoy the Snow Festival. But that door opened pretty quickly.”

It was *me* who opened that door.

“Little me, who loved playing outside, wanted to run around. But someone looked at me with a meaningful gaze and said, ‘Let’s go outside.’”

It was also her, who took Karsein away.

“The person who took me outside, to the street where the festival was happening, asked me, ‘The festival. You said you wanted to enjoy it, right?’”

The person who asked if she wanted to enjoy the festival.

It was her.

“Then, taking money from their wallet, they told me I could enjoy the festival as much as I wanted. To play as I wished. Even to me, who would definitely not have been able to enjoy this festival because of causing trouble.”

…300 pesetas.

Taking out that much money, they said that.

“When I asked if I could play even after being scolded so much, that person answered very firmly, ‘Yeah.’ Knowing nothing, I took that money and ran out into the snowy street. Yes. That hair tie, I got it there.”

A shiver.

Arina’s hand began to tremble.

“The ousted young master was no different from prey to the idlers. Because they were just waiting, naive and unaware they’d been ousted. Unlike now, I, a young child with no power, couldn’t resist. I just had everything taken away.”

As a result, Karsein was brutally beaten.

His whole body was covered in wounds. Dark, bluish bruises remained all over his skin.

“But you know. Even in that mess, there was exactly one thing I struggled to protect. There was something I tried to safeguard, hiding it in my arms no matter what.”

Building a stone tower all alone.

Being beaten to a pulp in that place.

Trying to protect it in a state where she couldn’t get any help.

“That’s the hair tie you received from me. It was the first and last gift from me, your younger sibling, to the person I wanted to give to, my big sister. And it was a gift filled with my sincerity, with my true feelings as someone who thought of you as family.”

That was the hair tie that Karsein had given.

It was the identity of the emptiness that had been forgotten for a while.

It was the only thread that held together the relationship called family.

– That crap…! What’s the big deal if I don’t know about that crap!

– If I don’t remember it, it must have been a meaningless day anyway. It couldn’t have been that important! What’s the big deal about you giving me a single hair tie?!

– Okay. I get that you gave me a hair tie. But didn’t you get rid of it yourself? You even tore it apart and ruined it with your own hands. And you expect me to remember that? What kind of twisted logic is that!

“…”

Something like that…

‘No. That’s not it!’

Family?

A gift with genuine feelings?

No.

It’s not.

That can’t be.

That can’t be!

“…Don’t say a word.”

“…”

“Don’t talk nonsense. You, you thought of me as family? Then why did you stain that sword with blood. Why did you put my mother’s blood, the one who took you in, on it, huh!?”

“Blood, you say.”

With a short sigh, Carsein looked at his sword, then asked Arina,

“You’re so consistent. You never even consider that it isn’t your mother’s blood.”

“…What?”

“Look clearly with your own eyes. Whose blood is on this sword.”

Karstein snaps his hand up, and someone tightly bound is dragged out from the hospital’s main entrance.

“That one is…”

“One of the soldiers extracted from the Bagrand Duchy, chasing after me. But why would he be in this hospital?”

“…”

She’d ordered that no soldiers from the Duchy were to be allowed into the hospital.

It was Arina herself who’d given that order.

With Karstein having infiltrated the Duchy, he might go for her mother. Therefore, she’d only ordered the soldiers to track Karstein, forbidding anyone else from entering the hospital.

Yet someone has come here?

There was only one answer to that question.

Someone who intended to harm her mother.

“Akshus Pelskrime. Family slaughterer. The master of disguise from Knight Royban’s memoirs, a mad killer who goes around ruining all sorts of family relationships. That’s him.”

“Wha… what?”

“Just so you know. Your mother is being well protected by Claire right now. The claim that she was in this hospital was a false rumor spread by Claire in the first place.”

That meant…

That blood wasn’t her mother’s.

‘Then Karstein was never going to harm Mother…’

A colossal wave surged in her blue eyes.

Her eyes, holding that giant wave, turn towards Karstein.

He stood there as if nothing were wrong.

He doesn’t thrash about in injustice.

He doesn’t shout to the heavens that it wasn’t his fault.

As if this is an ordinary occurrence.

He’s merely calm.

Just standing there, eyes locked on mine.

“If it had been Claire or Flora who came here, you wouldn’t have doubted them. You would have asked why they were here. Even with the bloodied sword, you wouldn’t have even considered it was our mother’s blood. Why? Because they’re your family.”

Karsein sheathed his sword.

“It would have been different from the moment I left that house. There would be no authorization for a kill order, no placing a wanted poster, not even a manhunt, it would have started as a search. They would start with an investigation into what happened, while simultaneously quelling the rumors. Why? Because they’re family.”

He breaks our gaze.

“The day you received those gifts? You would never have forgotten it. You would have remembered who gave you what, on what date, how you use them, and every single event that unfolded that day, in intricate detail. It’s only natural. Because they’re family.”

He turns his back on me.

“But I wasn’t. To you, I was just an outsider. A rolling stone that threatened your place. That’s why you couldn’t see me, the one who had nothing. You knew nothing about me, and you always just assumed I was in the wrong. And because of that, you felt inferior to me.”

He walks to the other side of my slumped form.

He drives a heavy wedge into my heart.

“Arina Vagrand. You never once thought of me as family.”

A razor-sharp dagger burrows deep into my heart.

The cold blade twists and turns within my chest.

The gaping hole inside, gradually floods with white.

-Clump, clump.

Karsein, having said his piece, walks away.

Even though we’re drifting apart… the heavy wedge remained, still lodged in my chest.

From noble mtl dot com

-You always think you’re right. You think what you see is the only answer.

I finally realized it.

That hair tie… was the only tether that could have made me family with Karsein.

Now that it’s been torn, we can no longer remain family.

Karsein… deliberately cut that hair tie, as if severing our family ties.

I could have held on.

I definitely could have held on, but.

This hair tie… it was broken.

And the one who made that hair tie break was…

No one else but…

“The one who didn’t think of him as family…”

-Ding!

[ The one who didn’t consider family to be family was, rather, me. ]

[ Shame: 100% ]

My hair felt so bare.