The Hero Who Returned From Death Quits - Chapter 234



EPlast. Beyond the Journey

Several months passed. During that time, I continued to live with Grandis and enjoyed the peace I had long since lost.

Grandis and I lived together for several months, doing everything together. We were in a common-law relationship, you could say. However, she and I never got married. It was just because I was not ready.

However, contrary to my expectations that Grandis wouldn’t be able to hold out for long if this situation continued, Grandis didn’t say anything to me and just stayed still. And, even though I found her suspicious, I still hadn’t given her a clear answer.

I felt the pressure to answer her growing, but on the other hand, I was also burdened by the thought of having to answer and become someone’s everything, so I ended up in a double-edged state where I couldn’t say anything.

That dual state of affairs increasingly burdened me with mental pain and suffering, and in a way, I even began to feel indebted to Grandis.

Grandis treated me the same way as before. However, the only difference from the past was that we rarely made physical contact.

Although she would sometimes make physical contact with me first, it was only to the extent of shaking off my clothes, and she would show me affection by approaching me and kissing me like she used to, but it had decreased. No, it was safe to say that it had completely disappeared. It started the day after I returned home, after she drew a line with me.

I wish I was just worrying too much, but my senses were screaming that it couldn’t be true.

… As with my colleagues, I couldn’t help but feel that I was a complete idiot when I got involved in something like this.

Unable to bear the growing pains, I drank alcohol one night.

As I continued to drink without any side dishes, it seemed like Grandis’ face kept flashing through my mind.

…what am I doing now?

As I continued to drink, I felt like my inner self-loathing was only getting worse. Why am I suffering like this? Why am I hesitating to make a decision even though I know that I shouldn’t continue like this?

The reason, in fact, has been known from early on.

Because she is such a big presence in me. My other colleagues are also big presences in me and are objects of affection, but they are different from Grandis. Even without me, they have something else. They have status, they have family, they have goals.

However, Grandis is different. Compared to my colleagues, she occupies a greater place in me. It can’t be helped. The time we spent together was different. In fact, she has nothing. She has no one left, no status, no dreams.

That’s why she defined me as everything to her, and that’s why I have a hard time accepting her. If only there were other things left in her, other things left in her, not me.

While they can accept ordinary love, they cannot accept that they are everything to someone else and do not want to bear the weight of that responsibility. How selfish. How pathetic. How wretched.

With that thought in mind, I tilted my glass.

I felt so miserable that I couldn’t even describe it. I banged my head on the table and clutched my hair.

And then, while I was thinking that, I heard someone knocking on the door.

“…who?”

I opened the door and went outside. Then, Grandis appeared before my eyes.

“It’s nothing much, but if you’re awake, I was wondering if we could go outside and get some fresh night air together. Is that okay?”

I looked at her. There was nothing special about her. However, my intuition told me that there was something different about her now.

… I have never really relied on my intuition in my life. My intuition has always been very betraying, so I rarely follow it. But it was rare for me to have such a strong hunch, so I followed her advice.

The two of us walked and walked and walked, and finally we reached the top of a small hill near the village. The village was visible at a glance.

She and I looked up at the night sky. The moon was hidden behind clouds.

I struggled for a long time with what to say, then finally I spoke to her.

“…How is it? Living in our village.”

Grandis tilted her head with a hmm. And looked at me. With those red eyes. The moon was obscured by clouds, so I couldn’t see it well, but strangely enough, those red eyes were clearly visible.

“What do you mean by that?”

I was taken aback by her words and spoke hurriedly.

“Uh, uh? No, I mean it literally.”

Then Grandis closed his eyes, nodded, and said.

“Yeah, I see.”

I looked at her as she spoke, and for some reason I felt that the conversation should not end like this. So, I looked at her and said.

“…you?”

“uh?”

Grandis looked at me blankly and asked me a question. I looked at her and said,

“What about you?”

She seemed to think for a moment, then smiled and said.

“Just, it’s okay.”

“okay?”

I looked at her again and asked. Then she said without an inch of hesitation.

“Yeah, okay.”

I felt a sense of emptiness. Why am I so empty? Why do I feel like things are going so wrong?

The girl in front of my eyes looked as if she would disappear at any moment. Her appearance was so damn beautiful, and she looked like a glass sculpture, as if she would shatter if I touched her lightly.

I closed my eyes for a moment, then opened them again and looked at her.

And I realized. This is a crossroads. Now, depending on what I do and what I say, everything will change.

It’s not that I didn’t care. I endured it. I endured it through a painful time, even more than I did.

Even though I knew it, I couldn’t bring myself to say it. The time of choice that suddenly came was so harsh, like a winter that bites the flesh.

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I looked at her and asked.

“If I… if I say I can’t take responsibility for you. If I say I can’t be your everything, what will you do?”

What kind of mind was he asking such a thing? It seemed as if he could hear the voice crying out from a corner of his reason. But I had to know. Her answer.

She was still smiling calmly, like the moon reflected on the lake, as if nothing had happened. And, she still spoke in a calm voice.

“…well?”

Only then did I realize.

If not now, I’ll lose her forever.

As soon as that thought occurred to me, I made a decision. It was truly pathetic, but I couldn’t help it. I’m a human being who only makes the right decisions when I’m struck by fear.

I grabbed her wrist. That alone broke her expression, as if I had thrown a stone onto the surface of a lake.

“don’t go.”

A word that came out unintentionally. Grandis remained silent for a moment, as if she didn’t know what expression to make. She just looked at me with a slightly surprised expression, without even thinking about pushing me away.

“…What does that mean?”

After a moment of waiting, these were the words that came out of her mouth. I answered her.

“…No matter how much I worry, I don’t want to lose you.”

Grandis looked at me. Her eyes were filled with surprise. And, and, and… countless emotions that I couldn’t read were showing in her eyes.

I grabbed her head and kissed it. She froze for a moment, then turned to face me.

“I’m sorry for the delay in making the decision.”

When she heard what I said, she burst into tears. And so, she cried for a long time.

…

It was not surprising that Grandis decided to die.

Ainzel had not answered her questions for months. That was why he was at a standstill. That was why he had no intention of moving away from her or getting closer to her.

If it had simply been that way, it might have been okay. But she knew. For months, Ainzel had been struggling with the weight of her words and herself.

She doesn’t want to see him suffer because of her. If he suffers because of her, it means that she has denied him, her entire life. That’s why she wanted to die. There’s no use for a life that is denied by everything in this world.

A truly, truly terribly selfish love. A love that unilaterally asks you to be everything to her, makes you suffer, and tries to give up on life if you don’t say yes to her arbitrary expectations. It was a truly terribly selfish love, affection, and countless other emotions that were indescribably complicated.

Even though she knew it herself, she didn’t dare say anything. She was selfish. So, she didn’t want to accept an ending where she would obviously get hurt.

That’s why she stopped him from approaching her. She wanted him not to think of her as a simple emotion. She wanted him to cross this invisible line. That kind of expectation. She didn’t want to have a light-hearted affair with someone who denied her. She wanted him to love her. She wanted him to tell her that she had value in life, beyond this line.

However, he was distressed because he couldn’t handle her feelings. Her feelings as she watched him were even more distressed. After everything had disappeared, it was hard to endure the fact that he was suffering because of her, even the last thing he held in his hand.

Finally, when her emotions reached their peak, she decided to leave him. And face death alone.

I wonder how Ainzel will react. He will probably be in pain. However, I thought that if he doesn’t accept my approval, it wouldn’t be a bad idea for it to at least remain as a deep wound in his heart.

That’s why she called him out while he was drinking and suffering alone. In a sense, it was her last desperate attempt. Even though she knew he was suffering, and even though she knew he was burdened, she forced him to make such a cruel choice.

And, and, and…

…

I woke up to the feeling of my chest being pounded. When I opened my eyes slightly, a girl with black eyes and red eyes was pounding my chest with a mischievous grin on her face.

…it was my daughter. I managed to squeeze out a voice and speak to my daughter who was climbing onto my torso.

“Okay, Dad, I’ll wake up. I’ll wake up.”

Then, my daughter laughed heartily. When I looked at the time, it was just dawn. Where on earth did she get that kind of energy? I was astonished at the incomprehensible mystery, and slowly got up.

“Daddy! Daddy! Play with me!”

I had no choice but to play with my daughter, feeling like I was going to die from the morning. While playing like that, I suddenly felt aggrieved and asked my daughter.

“Mom is sleeping too, so why don’t you ask her to play with you?”

My daughter thought for a moment, then said with an innocent face.

“scared.”

I bowed my head when I heard that. Yes, I am easy, really.

Finally, after I had exhausted myself to some extent, I was able to eat breakfast prepared by Grandis and go out with my daughter.

“Have a nice trip. Oh, by the way, I ran out of butter. Can you go get some?”

Grandis looked at me and said, I nodded in agreement and started heading towards the village.

Finally, after I got married to Grandis, I became independent and moved to a village near the village outside of the village. The reason was simple. After I had my first night, the villagers all knew about it. When the village elders gave me a thumbs up and called me the king of stamina, I wanted to die.

… Anyway, for that reason I left the village and lived with Grandis and had a daughter.

“Daughter! Don’t run!”

I thought for a moment and then shouted at my daughter who had run away from me. Where on earth did she get all that energy?

In any case, aside from her black hair and red eyes, her daughter didn’t have any particularly noticeable demon traits. Her growth rate was also the same as a human’s. However, that doesn’t mean she was an ordinary human. Anyone could tell that she had a genius talent for black magic. More than an ordinary demon.

Perhaps being of mixed blood was the reason for Grandis and my daughter, Alice’s, physical strength. Well, considering that Seindo, Feria, Lena, and Beatrice are all like that, it may not be their fault.

As I was walking hand in hand with Alice, thinking such trivial thoughts, before I knew it, we were in a village. Alice was jumping around in excitement.

I thought to myself as I walked through the market with Alice, sharing a piece of crispy toast. Really, I wish things could stay like this.

That day, after accepting Grandis’s heart, I did feel a sense of heaviness. But… what do you think? Aren’t you happy enough to not even feel burdened?

No, it’s not just Grandis. I…

I returned home with Alice on her horse. Then I saw children of various hair colors running towards me. A red-haired boy, a blue-haired girl, green-haired twins, and a silver-haired boy.

Alice got excited and started to play around, babbling in excitement. The kids ran up to me and said,

“dad!”

“Theon, Nunez, Larus, Lapis, Johan. I know you’re happy to see me, so give me daddy…”

Of course, my words were ignored, and I was led home by the children’s hands. Inside the house, the voices of Grandis and Beatrice were flowing out.

“Don’t you think you come here too often? It seems like you come once a week. And you don’t just come in groups, you come individually every once in a while. Isn’t that too much?”

“Hmm… Well, what does it mean for us to come see our loved ones?”

Even though I heard those voices, I was led by the children’s hands into the house. And I couldn’t help but notice that everyone was watching me.

Sein, Feria, Lena, Beatrice, their colleagues, and Grandis were gathered together.

And then, after a while, my colleagues spoke to me.

“““We’re here.”””

“We’re here.”

I answered their words with a smile.

“Welcome.”

…

Grandis sat on a breezy hill. There was a graveyard next to her seat. She smiled and said.

“I’m here.”

And still, there was no answer.

Grandis paused for a moment, sensing the silence, and then continued.

“Alice, how are you? She suddenly went to the land of the demons and said she was going to be the prime minister or something. She told them to choose their own leader, but the demons came up with a very unique method. And, as you know, Alice’s special constitution is still there. What demon can create horns at will and then destroy them? I used black magic.”

After saying that, Grandis soon lay down on the hill where he had been sitting. And then, Grandis continued speaking.

“…I wasn’t sure if I could be a good mother since neither my mother nor my father were good people, but seeing my daughter do such absurd things makes me think that I didn’t raise her too badly. Yeah… It’s all thanks to you.”

“Oh, the empire seems to be getting richer and richer. Your other children are also doing very well in their respective positions. The fairies are also well-integrated into the empire. To this extent, it seems like you’ve done a great job raising children, right, my husband?”

Grandis said so and caressed the graveyard. The gentle breeze gently caressed Grandis.

“Yeah, not only the kids, but I’m doing well too. Sometimes I feel empty, but it doesn’t matter now. I’m going to see you anyway.”

She closed her red eyes and continued to feel the breeze for a while before getting up from her seat.

“I’ll stay here for a while. It’s been a while since we last met, so it’d be a shame to just end it after one day, right? So… I’ll come back tomorrow.”

As he said that, Grandis brushed the dust off the tombstone and walked away from the cemetery.

The words written on the tombstone were now shining brightly in the evening glow.

-I have lived for a long time in pain, defying death and not knowing rest,

Finally, I reached the end of my suffering and adversity and lived a peaceful life,

Respected and loved, looking at the children with joy, and loving them with a burning passion,

Finally, he said that he was happy and rested in peace, free from illness and pain, with his loved ones by his side. –

Death Return Warrior, I’m hitting you.

EP10, Episode 234, Concluded after 275 days.