The Hero’s Brother Is Bound To Be Depressed - Chapter 453



454 – At the top

After unexpectedly obtaining the World Tree’s Spear, what I did next was extremely ordinary. I ignore Benedict’s words telling me what to do and leave the church. After putting the World Tree Spear, which I had received as a gift from Aili, into the space warehouse, I walked forward as if I was wandering, and then took a step back again.

I didn’t get the flash of enlightenment I was hoping for, which was the purpose of visiting the World Tree, but I got something much better than that. Returning to Modest satisfied is the very right thing to do, but… Some dark embarrassment made me hesitate in my steps.

The cold thought that there would be no one waiting for me even if I returned to Modest anyway caused a faint, bitter smile to be erased from my mouth and made again and again. Suddenly, out of habit, the club room that had always promised me coziness and comfort came into her mind, but it was a place I couldn’t return to. It is the happiest place for me, so I cannot dirty it with my hands.

Standing there in a daze, I came to my senses only when I felt the paladins leaving the church spot me and quietly return to the church. I have no intention of causing any inconvenience. I no longer have any desire to express my distraught feelings to anyone. I didn’t want to show weakness to get sympathy.

I’m sure I used to talk a lot, but the days I didn’t enter the labyrinth were more and more days where I didn’t say anything. It may be because there is no suitable person to talk to. I talked too much with Ellie, who was closest to me, in the labyrinth. If you don’t push it away, it will stick to your skin. I did not want to repeat the process of having permanent scars carved into my body again.

It is a miserable thing to feel depressed in front of the World Tree, which is beautiful, great, huge, and blessed, but I slowly walked towards the World Tree, not knowing if I was so dull or insensitive that I did not even feel it. As I walked without thinking, I was able to stop walking faster than I thought.

I leaned my back comfortably against the barrier that surrounded the World Tree where my steps stopped. Although I had obtained the best and most powerful weapon I could use very easily, I felt a strange flow of emotion that was not joy. I vaguely feel that it is a color created by a memory from some time ago, but all that comes to mind is the shape scattered like breath.

It feels like a fish that can no longer swim in the open sea because it is trapped in a narrow fish tank. A strange feeling of frustration that I had never felt before entered my chest, and the feeling of it rolling around with a crashing sound like a stone was itchy and felt like terrible motion sickness. It’s been quite a while since I’ve felt this way, so paradoxically I felt glad.

Not knowing the meaning of the lyrics I once heard, I just held my head high, humming the pop song I had listened to over and over again, intoxicated by the emotions conveyed by the singer. As she looked at the World Tree covering the sky, she quietly felt the traces of the sun fading away. For a moment, an impulsive action to escape the suffocating feeling flashed through my mind.

It wasn’t quite the sparkle I wanted and it was very weird, but I thought it would make me laugh, so I decided to just follow the impulse. The plan is simple. Reaching the top of the World Tree by repeatedly using space magic. Even though I knew that I would fall to my death if I ran out of magical power, I carried out the plan without any worries.

And finally, when I caught the world in my eyes from the top of the World Tree. I could see where this impulse came from. The memory of that day was so beautiful that it contained the scent and temperature of that moment, as well as the colors and emotions of the night sky.

“If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything. I was able to work hard like this all because you were by my side. Because I want to be happy with you. So please stay by my side forever. “Because I will never leave your side.”

What was said to Luna from the highest spire of the cathedral. Even though we were at the highest point of the capital, it felt like we had returned to the moment when we only looked into each other’s eyes, level with each other, without even looking down once. Without realizing it, I opened my mouth and looked blankly at the past.

I looked for Luna’s face in the city lights in the distance. The girl I saw in the labyrinth was not as intense or real as the Luna I could touch and feel, but I felt more like Luna than anything else. She was the same, even down to the fact that now she was so far away that even if she stretched out her hand, she couldn’t catch it.

“I love you Luna. “More than you can imagine.”

I saw Luna taking a breath as if she was having a hard time hearing those words, and opening her mouth to me with an expression that desperately wanted her true feelings to be conveyed.

“I love you Ross. “All seasons end, forever, even if no one remembers.”

The season never ends. The terrible winter is gone, and spring has finally arrived. But Luna is nowhere to be found. Until I give her back her spring, her seasons will always stay there.

From noble mtl dot com

It wasn’t until I wiped my face that I realized I was crying. As I wiped my damp palms on my clothes, I made no attempt to wipe away the tears that were flowing. I didn’t want to cry freely at all. Because I didn’t even feel that way.

It was just a vague sadness that turned into tears. Because I finally realized what I had truly lost, at the top of the tree with inexplicable powers named the World Tree. I don’t know if it’s my enlightenment or a gift from the World Tree… I am just thankful that I found what I had lost.

The voices of all the Lunas I’ve met so far were all different. The Luna in the fantasy, the Luna in paradise, and the Luna in my memories were all different people. How could that be?

The answer is simple.

Because I’ve forgotten what Luna’s voice really sounds like. That’s why they didn’t realize that each Luna had a different voice. Not even a few years. She had only been a few months since Luna’s death. The time it takes to forget what emotions and beauty the voice of the person you thought was everything in the world contained.

“… Was it a love that lasted less than half a year?”

Even though I mumbled to myself, no one answered. Even though there are so many me in so many worlds, no one answers. So, can I find the answer I desperately want through Quantum Jump? No, even if I were to find the answer to the question, it wouldn’t be the right answer for me.

Even if it is the same can, the contents will be different for each can.

I forgot Luna’s voice. The voice that sweetly whispered my name. Next time, you may lose the warmth and shared emotions. But the love Luna gave me will not flow and will remain in my heart. Because she’s already attached to every part of my soul. It would be correct to say that her temper has changed. Although it has faded, her color has colored my soul with a beauty I could not have dared to imagine.

Worn-out emotions may make you forget other things, but you will never forget your goal of finding the Holy Grail on the 10th floor of the labyrinth and reviving Luna. Like I said, if it wasn’t for Luna, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything. Even if you want to die, even if you want to give up… This is all possible only with Luna by my side.

I took out the letter from Saint Aili that I had kept in my arms. There would be nothing more foolish than rereading the contents of a letter you already knew, but I read the letter again. Because it was such a short article, it didn’t take much time. After reading the letter, I tore it into pieces so that it was unrecognizable and threw it away.

Like flower petals blowing in the wind, I sent Ailee’s heart into a piece of the letter that flew away into the darkness. I’m sure I made many lies to Ailee that I couldn’t keep. Since she failed to keep her promise to save her, ironically, I could have been her last loss.

That’s why lying isn’t difficult for me. Since I was born from lies, it was inevitable that I would have a job that makes a living based on lies. So I have no choice but to doubt myself. Was there really no lie in the sincerity I said to Luna, or was I ignoring the lie that had secretly crept in without my knowledge, hiding it behind the mask of sincerity? It’s funny how I endlessly doubt myself when I can’t figure out the answer.

“are you okay.”

Words that suddenly came out of my mouth. Since these words were said while thinking of oneself in a ridiculous way, they can only be obvious lies. But from the top of the World Tree, where I could see the whole world, I could understand why I said those words.

“are you okay.”

Because lies were reality to me. As if a false story made up of imagination had become reality to me. The skin on the old scar is all broken and bleeding, but it’s okay.

Because I want to be happy with you.