The Returning Doctor Wanted to Live Quietly - Chapter 368



Only Noblemtl

Episode 368. Light and Darkness

Anencephaly.

It literally means having no brain.

Neural tube defects.

Failure to close the neural foramen.

Resulting nerve loss.

Ultimately, only the remnants of the brainstem could be left in the form of a shape, and the cerebrum and cerebellum were not formed properly.

It’s only been two days since I was born.

No, maybe I would die right away.

A saying that means living according to one’s fate.

It was a word I really hated, but in this case, it was something I couldn’t deny.

It is said that the fate of mortals is to be destined for death from the moment they open their eyes, but for this child, that time is far too short.

It was clear that the child would die the moment he was born.

* * *

The worship service was over before we knew it.

No one thinks of going.

They gather in groups of three or five and chat.

We were busy talking about this and that.

Korean churches are the center of the Korean community.

Perhaps it was only natural.

While we were laughing and talking like that.

A young couple who had been sobbing quietly left the place, and several people were seen following them.

Tap on the shoulder.

Those who comfort and hug.

Jinhyuk just watched this from afar.

That makes sense.

A situation where there is absolutely nothing a doctor can do.

I also thought that offering unnecessary consolation to someone I had never met before was an act that could be seen as a way to provoke anger.

Because anencephaly has no answer.

The moment I was about to go home with such a heavy heart.

Someone stepped forward to block the way.

“Excuse me, teacher. You haven’t eaten yet? You’ve worked so hard because of us. Why don’t you go eat together right now?”

When I came to my senses, I realized that the person I was dealing with was a pastor.

I couldn’t just ignore it.

Because he knew that I was starving while preaching about the side effects of drinking silver ion water.

In addition to that.

“That’s right, sir. You don’t know how much better it has become for us. German doctors. They’re really slow. So let’s have a meal together!”

The pastor didn’t stay still either.

“These days, even German children are flocking to the Plattenbau Hospital. If this isn’t a promotion of national prestige, what else is there? Everyone is proud.”

A handsome elder also stepped forward to block the retreat.

Well, there didn’t seem to be any special intention.

A situation where it has already been revealed that he is non-religious.

There was nothing to preach about.

Just an act of gratitude.

It seemed like nothing more, nothing less.

He even came to the church to take care of us so that no more victims would appear.

Because it seemed like he was asking how I could just let it go.

A situation where you suddenly end up having a meal.

Jinhyuk, who was moving to get into the car, hesitated.

‘Everyone should know the situation clearly… … Why didn’t anyone say anything?’

I had a vague suspicion that perhaps they were opposing abortion for religious reasons.

But soon.

‘I guess you prayed during the home visitation service.’

It was Jinhyeok who chased away distracting thoughts.

No one would dare say that an anencephalic child should not be aborted.

Because it’s a question that really has no answer.

* * *

The mansion of a businessman who runs a food distribution business.

It was so large that it could be called a mansion rather than a house.

As it is located in the suburbs rather than in the city center of Berlin, the garden was also spacious.

What is this?

At this point, it could be said that it wasn’t just a simple meal, but a garden party.

The meal started like that.

Because we talked about all sorts of things, I was able to hear all sorts of stories.

Someone said he was good at studying.

Who said they were moving to where?

Who said there was a divorce crisis?

Jinhyuk had to laugh bitterly as he watched these people know everything about other people’s family history.

Personal space.

The so-called psychological and physical distance.

The only people who were not protected were Koreans.

In the name of Jeong.

In the name of interest.

Because it’s my daily life to get involved and show curiosity in everything.

So it was perhaps natural that the story about the young couple came up.

“What did you decide to do?”

“I guess you’re still thinking about it.”

“Oh my. This is really unfortunate.”

“I have to decide quickly. I’m worried. I’m so upset I could die.”

“You said it’s the 9th week now? In Germany, abortion is illegal after the 12th week, so you can’t even get the surgery.”

“Isn’t it okay even if I have a medical certificate?”

“No way. You have to do it before that.”

“Why twins… … .”

Jinhyeok, who had been listening for a while, was startled when he heard that she was pregnant with twins and joined the conversation.

“Twins?”

“Oh, teacher. Something that only we know. Yes, that is… … .”

“So, one of the fetuses was diagnosed as normal and the other as anencephaly?”

“Yeah, so, ah, what was that called… … .

“Elective abortion, elective miscarriage.”

“Yeah, yeah. I guess I have to decide whether to do that or not.”

“under…….”

As Jinhyuk sighed, the expressions on everyone else’s faces also became heavy.

Inserting a needle into the vagina to forcefully press on the fetus’s heart.

Elective abortion by removing amniotic fluid.

It was easy to take one life, but it was clear that they knew it could affect the other fetus.

A situation where a healthy fetus can be miscarried due to an unknown infection.

But if you have two children, one of them will die as soon as it is born.

It was clear that I couldn’t do anything.

* * *

“Has that happened?”

“yes.”

“Are you feeling unwell?”

“Not really.”

What happened outside.

Or stress from work.

They say there’s nothing more foolish than dragging someone home, but I couldn’t bear to not say anything.

That’s why I told every little detail to Hyuna Lee, who was lying next to me.

In fact, I had to hold back my questions to the pastor and came back.

If there is a God, why does he give humans these trials?

Even if we try to achieve spiritual maturity through trials and tribulations, isn’t that too harsh?

So Jinhyuk told everything with a gloomy expression.

Lee Hyun-ah leaned in even further.

“You saw me every day at the hospital, Asin.”

“… … .”

“Patients who die every day.”

“Yes, it was.”

“Are you still that upset?”

“It’s frustrating… … .”

As Jinhyeok trailed off, Lee Hyeon-ah leaned in even closer.

The reality is that even the hearts of new employees who were soft and fluffy become hard by the time they become managers.

Even with the specialist’s help, it was surprising that Jinhyeok was still so soft.

Still someone’s suffering and death.

I was suffering from sadness.

Although she knew this better than anyone else, Lee Hyun-ah consoled Jin-hyeok.

“You said we had to keep social distance.”

“What kind of social distancing?”

“Why, you know, the people who quit early.”

“ah…….”

“If you want to last long, you need to have more personal space, right? That way, you can last long. So… … . Huh?”

“why?”

“Suddenly my stomach… … . Ah… … .”

The pain started suddenly.

They both stopped talking and looked at each other’s faces.

* * *

The saying goes that time is like a flying arrow.

That was true.

Three weeks passed by in the blink of an eye.

I was so out of my mind about how I was able to conceive and give birth to a child.

Jinhyuk, who had filled his vacation days with work, headed straight to the station.

“It’s been a while.”

“Congratulations.”

“Oh, well. I guess so.”

“Are you embarrassed right now?”

“Rather than feeling embarrassed, I just don’t feel it.”

“I wonder if wringing my hands is really in my blood. Well, it is.”

“Yes.”

Jinhyuk answered with a bright face.

Germany has no postnatal care centers.

Since Lee Hyun-ah’s parents had difficulty moving, her own parents, who lived in Baekhyun-dong, came running.

Now we were living together in the same house.

For the purpose of helping with childcare.

This is something I couldn’t even dream of before returning.

It’s a miracle that he himself has a son.

When I saw my parents rejoicing over this, it really didn’t feel real.

I guess it’s just something.

It was good.

It was really good.

It may have been his own vain hope as a first-time father that his son would follow the same path, but just thinking about it makes his hair stand on end.

So I was able to see the patient for a long time while smiling.

I had completely forgotten the story of the young couple I had heard three weeks ago.

“Yanne, this patient. Please give me a three-way and mix it with anti.”

“Yes. What should we do with patient in bed number 3?”

“Are you talking about patients who came in complaining of COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease)?”

“Yes, my RR (respiratory rate) is popping.”

“I think I need to put you on a venti (artificial respirator). I’ll watch you for another 30 minutes and then call a respirator.”

“yes.”

Keep moving and moving.

Watching things like that for a while is also short-lived.

When a Korean couple came in late, Jinhyuk’s expression hardened as he recognized them.

The young couple I saw three weeks ago.

They came to the emergency room with no reason to go, still full.

* * *

“Me, teacher?”

“Oh, yes.”

“You should go quickly. It seems like there are other patients who came without a referral letter (Überweisungsschein).”

A route he created himself, taking a long time to prepare.

So, what I was saying was that the patient came to the emergency room for quick treatment.

So, he should have moved, but Jinhyuk just stood there blankly.

Because I knew their circumstances very well.

no.

‘If it was 9 weeks back then, it’s 12 weeks now… … If it’s like this, won’t abortion become illegal and more difficult?’

That wasn’t the issue now.

In Germany, a Christian country, abortion is illegal.

Special circumstances.

So, even if there was a medical certificate, an abortion could not be performed after the 12th week.

Jinhyuk approached them late.

“I wonder if you came here because you couldn’t make an appointment with your wife… … .”

“That’s true too.”

“yes.”

“Just in case… … . Just in case. I was wondering if you could look at it yourself.”

“ah…….”

“My child… … .”

“I know the story because I heard it at church at the time.”

“Oh, you heard me.”

My husband’s face immediately distorted.

A pained expression.

It was a face that had not yet made up its mind.

“How long has it been exactly? It’s almost time to go illegal.”

“There are two days left.”

“hmm…….”

“If you just take a look… … .”

“Okay. First, this way… … .”

First, assign a bed.

After laying the patient down, they immediately brought in the ultrasound machine.

However, a transvaginal ultrasound, which involves inserting a probe inside the genitals, could not be performed.

Because it can be diagnosed with abdominal ultrasound.

“It’s cold.”

Jinhyuk teased Probe after saying the usual things.

Click.

Click.

Continue pressing the probe handle and take pictures.

We were already watching it in real time on the monitor, but we wanted to show it to the guardians and patients after the examination.

It was truly painful.

That makes sense.

The brain is mute.

So, all I could see was a black shadow.

Bilateral ventricular separation.

There was none at all.

That’s not all.

The community was also visible.

The neural tube is clearly visible.

The place where the cerebellum should be is in low light.

Only a portion of brain tissue remained where the cerebrum should have been.

A situation where not everything is swept away.

But their eyes will bulge out enough to be called frog babies.

It was obvious that he would be born with an unclosed skull and no top at all.

This time, it’s the identification of another fetus.

Everything is normal, unlike the fetus on the left.

It was normal again.

* * *

The young couple sobbed.

I cried and cried again.

The attention is focused on him, but he doesn’t care.

We just hugged each other and continued to cry.

This time, make a sound.

10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes.

Jinhyuk spoke to them, who were crying even though they had no choice but to see other patients.

“When you have an elective abortion, the chance of a normal fetus being aborted is between 5% and 20%. Now is the time to make a choice.”

“If I ever go to Korea and do it.”

“That’s a good method, too. The sooner you do it, the lower the chance of miscarriage.”

“What if I miscarry?”

“But it doesn’t mean that I should just give birth to the child… … .”

Jinhyuk’s voice, which had begun to explain for a long time, was dry.

If you’re going to have an abortion, you should do it quickly.

Otherwise, I would have to give birth to both of them and then watch the anencephalic child die.

He also said that this would be painful.

A baby who howls like an animal immediately after birth.

It was a cry that was different from the usual howling and it was something I might remember for the rest of my life.

That’s not all.

Death report.

The birth had to be reported at the same time.

The explanation continued like that.

I felt like I was giving a terminal diagnosis to a patient who didn’t have much time left, so I forced myself to hold back my tears.

Yeah, maybe it was because his own son was born healthy.

They say that because there is light, there is also darkness.

No, life is a combination of ups and downs.

It was a very harsh ordeal for a young couple to endure.