The Villainess Whom I Had Served for 13 Years Has Fallen - Chapter 41



41 – The Secret of the Man She Sees -4-

He reluctantly opened his eyes.

Even in his unconsciousness, it seemed like he had cried, as his eyes were moist. He let out a sigh. He felt overwhelmed and his body felt heavy.

“Ah.”

The room reflected in his dim eyes was dark. It still felt like night.

He didn’t want to get up.

He didn’t know how to look at Ricardo’s face or what expression to make.

Should he laugh like a clueless person? Or should he look down with a gloomy expression and ask for forgiveness?

He didn’t know either.

What should he do? He knew he had to apologize, but he couldn’t come up with a suitable answer in his mind.

He had many questions he wanted to ask.

He wanted to ask if Ricardo was okay, if he was in pain, but when he saw Ricardo, he felt like he couldn’t say anything.

What should he do? He wondered.

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A suffocating feeling welled up in his eyes once again.

“Cough…. Cough….”

His throat was dry.

Maybe because of the change of seasons, it felt like he had caught a cold.

His head felt hot, and his nose was running.

His forehead was also hot.

He had a fever.

His heart felt complicated.

He was distraught in many ways.

“Cough…. Cough….”

He reached out his hand towards the bedside table to drink some water. But his hand only reached the doorknob and fell short, unable to touch the water cup on the short table.

He tried to roll over from the bed and slowly reach out his hand to the water cup, but his body quickly became exhausted, perhaps due to the cold symptoms. With a disappointed heart, he reached out his hand to the water cup again, but his hand still didn’t reach, and he brought his hand back to the bed.

“I just won’t drink it.”

Not drinking a glass of water won’t kill a person.

When I closed my eyes to sleep, I felt a warm touch on my forehead.

“Are you thirsty?”

A familiar voice echoed.

Warm and gentle.

Olivia’s eyes widened. It was an unexpected voice.

Despite feeling dizzy from the cold and drowsy from sleep, the man in front of her appeared vividly.

Her awkwardly smiling butler with red hair. Ricardo.

Ricardo had one hand on his forehead.

With one hand on his own forehead and the other on my feverish forehead, Ricardo, lost in thought, looked at me and let out a small chuckle.

I don’t know when it happened, but seeing the bucket of ice water and towel next to him, I could tell he had been here for a long time.

“…A ghost?”

Ricardo handed me a glass of water from the bedside table. Supporting his waist with his hand, he effortlessly stood up and handed me the cup. I lowered my head in response.

“Not a ghost. Just a handsome butler.”

I couldn’t speak.

In this fantasy shown by the blue window. I had prepared words of apology to say to Ricardo, but when I actually saw him, my mind turned blank.

“Have you woken up?”

“…”

I cautiously accepted the cup Ricardo offered. The coldness felt from the cup seemed to cool down my fever and eased my heavy heart even just a little.

“Gulp… Gulp…”

Ricardo watched as I drank and gave me an awkward smile.

“If you’re in pain, tell me. Weren’t you shocked?”

“…”

“Your forehead was burning like fire, and you were crying in your sleep, so I was really surprised.”

“…”

Ricardo pouted.

Just tell me if you’re in pain.

It seemed like he had been taking care of me since late evening. It seemed like he had been watching over me all night.

I felt sorry.

But at the same time, a sense of rebellion arose.

Not saying that you’re in pain when you are, because I’m the same. I held the glass in my hand and spoke bluntly.

“It doesn’t hurt.”

Ricardo let out a hollow laugh. He immersed the freshly warmed towel back into the icy water, murmuring, “I thought I would get burned, but it doesn’t hurt.” He wrung out the towel.

“Why were you groaning like that then? You couldn’t even drink water.”

“It was because of a nightmare.”

“A nightmare?”

Ricardo pondered for a moment, rubbing his chin. After a moment of contemplation, he smiled faintly and spoke to me.

“Did you dream of being chased by Mikhail again?”

Eek…!

I held the wet towel against my forehead. I was about to throw it at Ricardo, as I usually did, but the previous scene kept playing in my mind, and I stopped myself.

Ricardo looked at me with eyes full of concern.

His behavior was different from usual, and he seemed genuinely worried, maybe because he was in a lot of pain. He truly was a butler without talent in acting.

We spent time in silence.

Ricardo tirelessly changed the towel, and I entrusted myself to his touch.

It was currently 4 a.m.

It was still night, and it was the deepest time period of the night. I placed my hand on Ricardo’s forehead and checked for fever.

“Go.”

“Yes?”

“Go. You look tired.”

“I’m not tired.”

He wasn’t tired. Dark circles had formed under his eyes, and he was nodding off, hitting his cheek to stay awake. I saw that he was making an effort not to fall asleep.

And it felt awkward.

A brief silence filled the room.

Ricardo looked at my face, as if trying to read my thoughts, and I felt uneasy being in the same space as him.

Because I couldn’t find the right words.

It was difficult to speak.

I also felt bothered by the sudden apologies.

Ricardo sucked on the towel on my forehead again. He quietly changed the towel on my forehead and casually threw out words.

“Miss.”

“Yes?”

“That…”

The obscuring words of Ricardo.

Ricardo let out a long sigh and spoke with his head bowed.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

Ricardo, spitting out a simple apology, caused a stir in my heart. I didn’t know why he was apologizing, considering it was something I should have done.

Looking at my perplexed face, Ricardo quietly confessed his wrongdoing.

“It’s about the hand.”

“…”

“I didn’t mean to hide it…”

Ricardo speaking about the secret of his hand.

I never expected Ricardo to speak first.

I put my hand into the blanket and clenched my nightwear with my fist.

I was restless. Worried about what Ricardo might say, I felt a suffocating sensation, as if I were imprisoned.

If Ricardo were to talk about that day, what should I do?

I couldn’t bear the thought.

Ricardo spoke.

He told me a bit casually.

“I hid it because I was worried you’d be concerned. As you can see, the scar on my hand is quite gruesome, so…”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to worry anymore, but isn’t it still quite horrifying to look at? hahahaha… I was going to say it after it faded a bit.”

Ricardo beat around the bush.

Within the truth Ricardo spoke, I could easily detect the lies.

Consideration for my feelings was real.

The “I’m all better now” was fake.

Now that I had unraveled all the secrets, Ricardo’s lies came at me like daggers.

I spoke in a cool and resentful tone.

“Shouldn’t I worry?”

“What?”

Ricardo’s startled reaction returned. I spoke to him again with a touch of coldness and an unjust feeling.

“Shouldn’t I worry? I worry too, you know.”

Ricardo lowered his head.

“Don’t worry; it’s my responsibility.”

Ricardo stated firmly.

I lowered my head.

“There’s no such thing.”

My emotions started to intensify.

“Where does that exist? If you’re in pain, say you’re in pain, if you’re hurt, say you’re hurt. You shouldn’t hold back, either.”

My heart ached.

I lashed out with strong words, knowing I couldn’t handle what was coming.

“We agreed.”

Ricardo bowed his head.

“I’m sorry.”

Many thoughts ran through my mind.

From that day when Ricardo faced death and how much he resented me, to the emotions I felt while searching for Mikhail with tears in my eyes.

It must have been a sense of shame.

The more I thought about it, the heavier my heart became.

I wanted to shut my mouth, which uttered words I couldn’t bear, but this trembling heart wouldn’t calm down.

My head involuntarily lowered. I couldn’t look directly at Ricardo’s face.

“Miss.”

Ricardo’s voice reached me…

This time, the kind voice of the maid who folded the towel neatly and placed it on my hot forehead resonated gently through the quiet dawn.

The maid asked,

“Are you very angry?”

I just looked at Ricardo without saying a word. Ricardo’s expression didn’t look very good. He seemed to be looking at me with a guilty expression, and it seemed like tears might come.

I clenched my nightgown tightly with my hands hidden under the blanket.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

That was my first thought. Why are you looking at me like that? I wanted to ask, and it hurt even more.

Ricardo held my hand hidden in the bed. Ricardo’s hand, filled with tough calluses, wrapped my unblemished, soft hand warmly.

“I was wrong.”

Ricardo’s soliloquy continued.

“Okay. You must have felt sad and betrayed. I think even I would have felt the same way.”

Ricardo touched my hand as if confessing a mistake to a priest, sharing one story after another.

“But, I didn’t want to show it. It’s not a pretty wound… What if it appears in your dreams, miss?”

My fist clenched.

It’s the wound I created.

I wanted to tell Ricardo that it’s a wound caused by me, but this frightened heart didn’t easily budge. What if I tell the truth and Ricardo ends up disliking me?

Because it’s unbearable. If now, she dislikes me. If she simply said it hurt too much back then and just let it go, selfish worries weighed heavily on my lips.

Even now, I’ve thought about it dozens, hundreds of times. How could I apologize to Ricardo? No, not an apology but how could I say ‘I’m sorry.’

Dozens of times pondering, but no answer emerged.

Ricardo said to me in such a moment, “Miss, this wound speaks for itself.”

There was force in his hand.

What words would come back as blades from Ricardo’s mouth?

The sigh before reluctantly spoken words. Frighteningly, it felt selfish.

“It’s a wound from the dungeon.”

Ricardo chuckled softly.

“Actually, when I went to the dungeon last time…”

“What did you just say now…?”

Tears welled up suddenly.

Why are you doing this? Why do you make that expression again when speaking?

“Why are you doing this?”

You know why.

“Why are you lying.”

You remember everything. Not me, forgetful like a fool, but you… you remember from that time. How could you say such a thing?

“Why are you lying.”

Ricardo smiled with a troubled expression.

“I’m sorry. I hid it as a tattoo…”

Anger burst forth.

“That arm…!”

The voice trembled.

“That arm. That….”

The voice did not come out. I was too shaken. Too scared. But if I didn’t speak out this maddening feeling, it felt like everything would crumble.

“It was me….”

I sobbed.

Tears flowed down my cheeks like a fool.

Ricardo awkwardly smiled.

“Did you know?”

Ricardo held my hand tightly and said.

“It’s okay.”