Time Mansour - Chapter 18



Only Noblemtl

Episode 18: What a grand goal

I’ve been pushed around my whole life.

Development. Cloud. Data. Other projects.

If someone runs away saying they can’t do it because it’s too hard,

Before I knew it, I was being pushed and filled the gap.

-Tsk tsk.

Press the box to tear off the tape. It leaves an indelible mark on the box.

Bam.

Long time no see.

A box within a box.

Take the box containing the keyboard out of the shipping box.

Unfold the stand.

Plug in the power cord and slowly place both hands on the keyboard.

earth.

When I press the keys, they vibrate.

Try pressing the keys a few more times like that.

Land. Land. Ttatang.

My head is as white as a keyboard.

still.

The body remembers, and the fingers move on their own.

-The temple is quiet at night~

-Sometimes a broken syringe will grind your teeth~

-In the blanket piled high with layers of karma`

-I hear a sneeze~

Sing loudly, ignoring pitch and rhythm.

Move your fingers slowly and shout out loud.

-Put a hose in your nose~

-Smell the scent of Guanyin~

-Getting early enlightenment~

-Comforting the smile of a child who has gone to paradise~

Before going into the chorus, stop playing for a moment.

-The bright lotus flower has bloomed~

-The bright lotus flower has bloomed~

At the end, scream with all your might.

In line with Gukyeong’s vocal style.

In keeping with our band’s philosophy that louder sound means better music.

I press down on the keys and try to sing a song awkwardly.

like that.

Disorganized melodies fill the room.

**

good night.

After typing a bit on the keyboard

I just lay there in bed.

It was comfortable.

I just liked it right now.

I pull the blanket over me and close my eyes.

‘What do I really have to do?’

It’s not good to do something.

It was better to do nothing.

I’ve lived my whole life without any goals, just busy.

So even more so.

I didn’t want to do anything.

I wanted to live an average life without doing my best.

“Well, I guess it’ll work out somehow.”

My outward expression was calm.

A faint smile appeared.

“Gulp.”

I lay there blankly for a while.

A noise was heard from the boat.

Gulp. Gulp. The vibration in my stomach continues.

‘What was in the fridge?’

I open and close the refrigerator door repeatedly while lying in bed.

I close my eyes and recall my memories. Fresh water. Eggs. Tuna. Spam…

‘And… also… in the freezer…’

As I continued to think, ‘What happened?’, I felt my body gradually losing strength.

like that.

Before I knew it, my vision was darkened by the sound of snoring.

The world turns black like a keyboard.

**

ah.

When I opened my eyes.

I’m thirsty. My mouth is dry.

I went out to the living room, took some water out of the fridge, and wet my lips.

I’m still tired no matter how much I sleep.

I think I’ll feel better if I wash my face.

Thinking like that, I was about to go to the bathroom.

-Jiying.

The cell phone rang on the table.

-Daeyoung System Representative Chae Shin-ah.

I checked the LCD and tens of thousands of thoughts came to my mind.

It soon sinks again.

‘after.’

I let out a sigh and pushed the LCD to the side.

“hello?”

“Director Jeong. How have you been?”

Representative Chae’s voice rings out from the speaker.

A voice that is neither hot nor cold.

A lukewarm voice that is neither here nor there lingers in a corner of my heart.

“Well. It’s the same. What about Manager Chae?”

“Me too. It’s similar.”

Silence lingers. It’s always like that. It must be hard. How’s your project going these days? I’m sorry I had to leave first. Everything will be fine. Dozens of sentences linger in my mouth, unable to come out.

With my mouth open, I’m wondering how to continue speaking.

“I quit.

Agent Chae’s voice was heard first.

“Yes. You did well. With your skills, you should be treated better by a better company.”

I spoke in a slightly exaggerated tone without realizing it.

But my heart was sincere.

Because he was a person who was too precious to be there.

“thank you.”

“Really. You thought about it carefully.”

Really.

I think he is a person who can grow to the next level with just a little more effort.

We exchanged brief greetings like that for a while.

“Director Jeong, let’s meet up sometime. We’re both unemployed. We have a lot of time.”

Just as I was about to hang up the phone, Manager Chae asked.

I can hear Manager Chae’s laughter from the other side.

**

Flat noodles. Mushrooms. Enoki mushrooms. Shrimp balls. Squid balls. Squid balls. Mugwort.

Scan the text with your eyes.

The materials are submerged in water.

Even if I read the letters, I still don’t understand what’s what.

Ramen, dumplings, cabbage, etc. I naturally reach for familiar things.

“I wanted to eat it. Do you not like it that much?

“You know, there’s nothing I can’t eat.”

I shrugged.

Manager Chae nods his head with a grateful expression.

I wasn’t originally a picky eater.

My mother raised two children while working as a sewing machine.

There was no mother-in-law who noticed.

There was no husband who complained.

So my mother’s cooking was closer to love than cooking.

I grew up eating love.

I was the type who ate everything with a smile.

After choosing the ingredients and paying, I sat down.

“Have you tried malatang?”

“No, I haven’t tried it. I’d like to try it this time.”

I scratched my head and laughed.

I wasn’t very interested in eating.

Just. I put it in my mouth to move like fuel.

“I wanted to eat together with everyone at work, but I felt embarrassed.”

“Why? Seoyeon didn’t have anything like that.”

“He’s a baby.”

“Hey. There’s not much difference between you two.”

I’m able to say things that I wouldn’t have been able to say if I were working at a company.

A sentence that I always thought about suddenly pops out.

“No, that’s not true. There’s a bit of a generation gap even among us.”

Then, Manager Chae smiled and shook his finger from side to side.

Here you go. Who wants spicy food? When the mala-tang you ordered arrives, you pick up your chopsticks.

Knock, knock. The spicy taste hangs on the pastoral.

It’s spicier than I thought. I should have just lowered the spiciness by one level.

While I was feeling a little regretful inside.

Manager Chae slowly raises his head.

“Can I do it? I don’t have a good education and I’m not good at English either.”

A random question.

He asks me with chili oil on his mouth.

“Yes. I went too.”

“Mr. Director. To be honest, you couldn’t go to college because of money. You were born with brains. I’m not like that.”

Yes? Me? I couldn’t help but laugh at Manager Chae’s words.

That’s what Manager Chae thought of me.

I had no idea.

When I step out of the company, the words inside me come out.

“Sir, didn’t I say I was in a band?”

“Yes? But?”

“Honestly, if I had studied hard, I wouldn’t have been in a band.”

At my words, Manager Chae tilted his head.

He looks at me with a question mark above his head.

Always at the bottom of the class.

Or somewhere nearby.

It was music that made it possible for me, a person with nothing and no brain, to dream.

If I had studied hard, I would have dreamed of becoming a doctor.

That’s what dreams were like back then.

“I was at the bottom of the class in my entire school. I was at the bottom of that class from middle school all the way through high school.”

“Then what about English? Did you learn it separately later?”

“Yes. I think I was twenty-eight. That’s when I started with beginner English grammar. I couldn’t get my work done if I didn’t know English. So I just forced it into my head. That’s all.”

But this is a bit spicy. I smile awkwardly as I pour water.

Manager Chae looks at me like that with a surprised expression.

“Then it’s not that I couldn’t go to college because of my family circumstances···”

“If I had studied hard, I would have gotten a scholarship and tried to go… right? I just couldn’t go.”

“I didn’t know.”

You could think of it that way.

I wasn’t very smart.

If I had any talent, it was earnestness and desperation.

“You can be confident. There are no technicians these days. We will hire them from foreign companies. It’s not like you can’t speak English at all.”

At my words, Manager Chae’s expression improved significantly.

“Thank you. Really. I’ll try to prepare properly.”

“Everything will be okay. Don’t worry.”

Manager Chae puts down his chopsticks.

There was only oil floating on top of the soup.

“What are your plans for the future, sir? Do you have any plans?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have anything I want to do.”

“Me too. As I get older, there are more and more things I don’t want to do.”

Again. Again. You’re just talking like an old man. Today, the things I’ve always wanted to say are coming out of my mouth smoothly.

“Director Jeong, you are right. Honestly, at our age, what? Is there a need to have a grand goal?”

“It’s not like we’re going to launch a spaceship now,” said Team Leader Chae, shrugging his shoulders.

I agree with what Manager Chae said a little.

That’s right. That’s right. Before I knew it, I was clapping and beating the drums.

**

On the way home.

I rest my chin on my hand and look out the window.

It’s not that I hate IT work.

I’m just tired of having complicated relationships with people in a corporate setting.

I don’t really have any grand dreams, and it doesn’t seem like I’ll have any in the future.

In that case, just do it.

I thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to try doing the work I’ve been doing on my own.

Development. Data. Cloud. Server network. There is no self-employed person who can handle it all.

Wouldn’t it be a little more competitive?

I listen to the sound of raindrops hitting the window and start to organize my thoughts little by little.

Since I have my sister’s room, I can do the work of several people by myself.

Also… since I have enough money… I should be able to buy some decent equipment…

So, focus on it and gradually try to make it concrete in your head.

-IT problem solver. -Digital detective agency. -We handle all your tasks.

All sorts of childish names fall, swept away by the sound of rain.

I’ve lived my whole life doing only what I’m told.

Rather than thinking about doing my own thing, I just wanted to stop doing what other people told me to do.

Even if I was doing the same job, I wanted to do it on my own terms.

Thinking like that

-This is An-gae-gong-won Station. This station is An-gae-gong-won Station.

I got up from my seat.