Time Mansour - Chapter 69
Only Noblemtl
Episode 69: Experiences become memories.
Food waste.
These are not words spoken after much thought.
No, it’s quite the opposite.
It was just my usual thoughts coming out unfiltered.
‘The only scary thing about punishment is in the movies.’
After all, reality is different.
It’s such common sense to me that a person with nothing to lose is more frightening.
I just blurted out what I thought without any intention.
however.
“What···what···do you want to say?”
Director Kim was frightened by a stone that was thrown without thinking.
Executive Director Kim cut off his words.
so.
‘··· I think there was some misunderstanding about this.’
I’m actually more confused.
Did I look like someone with nothing to lose?
That wasn’t my intention.
I looked into the mirror while thinking that.
I saw myself in the mirror smiling calmly.
‘Even I think he seems a bit crazy.’
Today, I found myself doing things I don’t usually do.
I think there’s something wrong with the processor.
Anyway, it’s all because of Director Kim. I hesitated for a moment, blaming others as if it were a habit.
Era. I don’t know.
Since it has come to this, just leave it at that.
“Let’s just be careful of each other. It looks like you have a lot to lose, Director…”
I decided to pretend to be crazy and keep the concept.
The ending of the sentence is vague, leaving a lingering impression.
Is that why my acting was so effective?
Executive Director Kim takes a step back.
He turned his back with a leisurely smile until the end.
I was trying to take steps like that.
‘Oh, dear. I think I spoke too harshly.’
I thought I spoke too threateningly.
That bothers me for no reason.
“What I’m saying is… let’s not fight. It’s not going to benefit either of us anyway.”
He added a follow-up sentence, saying that he was doing some training.
Then he wipes his hands on his pants.
A palm print left on the pants.
Leaving traces that will disappear with time.
So I walked slowly out of the bathroom.
I stepped on the tiles carefully and without rushing.
**
As the technical interview began again, Executive Director Kim became less talkative.
He suddenly became a quiet man.
Thanks to this, the interview atmosphere changed completely.
Unlike the first interview which was a stressful one.
The second interview proceeded somewhat normally.
“Do you have any experience with any other open source besides Kubernetes?”
While Executive Director Kim remained silent, Manager Choi began to speak more.
Since Manager Choi seemed to be good at asking questions, I followed suit and kept my words short.
It feels like I’m only asking the necessary questions here and there.
“You worked as a developer and then moved to being an engineer.”
“Yes. I worked as a backend developer for about 4 years when I was a newbie.”
In doing so, we gave extra points to those with development experience.
This is just my standard.
For platform engineers, program development is not an option, but a necessity.
Because in the environment I’ve been in, I thought that understanding development was also necessary.
But someone who has had different experiences will make different judgments.
Because each person’s living environment is different.
Just as Executive Director Kim highly regards the mental strength of those days.
I also submitted my resume based on my own criteria.
The slightly depressed atmosphere continued until the interview ended.
‘I’m losing all my energy.’
I had never done anything like this before, and I had to be mindful of Director Kim, so I was even more mentally exhausted.
Even though I tried to do a rough interview, I couldn’t do it because I was so nervous.
Unlike previous interviews where we just chatted because there was an insider.
It’s an interview where someone’s life is at stake.
I keep my ears open and keep scanning the resume up and down to make sure I don’t miss even the smallest thing.
‘You’re really out of your mind.’
I usually just lay around at home.
It’s been a while since I’ve been paying attention to this and that.
For the first time in a while, I thought about alcohol, which I don’t really enjoy.
so.
just.
I fiddled with my phone, thinking about having a cool drink.
**
As soon as the interview was over, I looked for Director Lee.
I also wanted to drink alcohol.
I have something to ask you personally.
I brought this manager to the chicken stew restaurant in front of the company.
“What’s going on? Youngjun asked me to finish drinking.”
“Just. I feel like having a drink today.”
As I sigh, the soup starts boiling in the pot.
I looked at the manager as I ladle the hot broth over the chicken.
“Director Lee, I definitely felt it this time.”
“What?”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to go to work from now on.”
I really have no confidence.
My smile is contained in the soju glass.
A face reflected on the waves.
I put it at an angle to my lips and let it flow into my mouth.
After emptying the glass like that, a bitter taste comes up.
The smile in the glass was a bitter smile.
He frowned and picked up the cucumber kimchi with his chopsticks.
“Considering what you say, Director Kim was surprisingly helpless. I heard from Manager Choi. He said he was completely subdued.”
“That’s the problem. I felt like I did something I shouldn’t have done. I acted like I was a little crazy.”
“You’re saying that’s all you got scared of? The world-class Executive Director Kim? Young-jun is quite talented, after all.”
“It was a coincidence. It wasn’t something that could be done twice in the first place. If it was the same company, it was something that should never have been done.”
Everything revolves around collaboration. There were many cases where pushing someone would not work.
This is especially true if you are working on a project together.
So even when I’m angry, I try to keep a certain line, but today I crossed that line. In effect, I threatened my colleague.
Since we only met once, I just did it without thinking, but I still felt a little uneasy.
‘It was something I absolutely should not have done.’
If you hadn’t been picking a fight over every little thing, it would have just passed quietly.
I couldn’t stand it anymore because I wasn’t the same as before, so I yelled.
Thinking about Director Kim made me feel irritated again. So I filled my glass again. My hands moved without me realizing it.
“What kind of ill will does Director Kim have toward me that he keeps picking fights with me about everything?”
“What is it? It’s a restraint.”
Don’t worry too much. Just be salty. The manager smiles and raises his glass.
Even as we clinked our glasses, I still couldn’t understand what the director was saying.
So I tilted my head and asked again.
“Restraint? Me? Why on earth?”
“All the executives in our IT affiliates are from Managing Director Kim’s line.”
“Huh? You’re not family. How can you do that if you’re not related?”
“No. We were originally an entertainment company. So, in the beginning, the only IT expert we could trust was Executive Director Kim. So my brother trusted him and pushed him hard.”
But the head is too big. The manager shook his head while using chopsticks.
“Uh… Okay. I understand that. But what does that have to do with me if Director Kim exerts some influence internally?”
“If Youngjun comes to our company, his position will be in jeopardy. Youngjun’s name has some value in the IT industry. I think he’s afraid that he’ll be pushed out. I think he’s just scared.”
It’s a bit sad to hear that. I guess he was just scared because he didn’t have confidence in his own abilities.
I had no intention of going to Ive in the first place.
If I had known in advance, I could have responded more flexibly.
Since I’ve never been in a position to be held in check in my entire life, I never thought about it.
He scoops up the red soup with a ladle and pours it into a bowl with a feeling of regret.
“Then, did Director Kim feel that he was in danger before that?”
“Yes. In fact, my brother was planning to cut off all of Director Kim’s limbs soon. I think the sparks from that may have flown to Youngjun.”
It’s common office politics. I’ve never experienced it myself.
I’ve only ever watched from afar.
to be honest.
“It’s so noisy.”
It was as jangling as the director said. It wasn’t something that unfolded refreshingly before our eyes like in a drama.
It was just a long, drawn-out fight, with no villain or hero.
“I should quit quickly. Seriously.”
The manager grumbled. There was quite a bit of sincerity in his annoyance.
“Come to think of it, I heard that Director Lee is staying at Ive for a while. Is that right?”
“That’s right. It’s because of you.”
“So you’re going somewhere else soon? Do you have somewhere in mind?”
“Why? Are you going to scout me?”
The manager jokes in response to my question.
Instead of lifting up the chicken leg, I looked at the manager with a dumbfounded expression.
“What kind of scout is scout? I just say that because I think it would be less boring if I had a friend who was unemployed.”
The manager said something ridiculous. I responded with a joke and finished tearing off the chicken leg with my hands.
“Why? Youngjun, you really don’t have any intention of starting a business properly?”
“Didn’t I tell you?”
“What?”
“We had a brief collaboration before the opening of the Gagao game.”
“But?”
“At that time, I was going around guaranteeing that I would fail. Do you think that was all?”
So I started to give a long explanation about my anus to this manager.
I was afraid that this manager would give me false hope, so I exaggerated my story even more.
“Wow. Really? Youngjun, your feelings aren’t human.”
“Excuse me? But that’s too harsh. You’re saying I’m not human?”
“Somehow. I knew it when you started tearing the chicken leg with your hands. People like us use tools.”
Then, this manager clacks his chopsticks. He clacks his chopsticks in the air for no reason.
Laughter went back and forth across the table. Laughter bubbled over the pot. They joked around for a long time, until the smiles all faded away.
Is it because I drank alcohol? Or is it because the chicken stew was spicy? I don’t know the exact reason.
Anyway, the stuffy feeling inside me slowly began to ease.
I didn’t feel too bad.
**
After the interview.
Time passed again as before.
The day of rolling around in the room continued.
I came out again after a long time.
Because it was because of the contact I received from Changseok a few days ago.
He told us all to gather together because it was important.
Because we knew exactly what was going on.
“You’re the only one who comes out every day.”
I was the only one who responded because I had time to spare.
“I should come too. But why do you seem to get kicked out so often?”
“It’s not that I was kicked out, it’s my husband’s consideration. You should have a baby too.”
Chang-seok strongly denied it. His father strongly denied it. I thought it was really great. He became a bit more lenient after becoming a father.
My wife’s friends are coming to the house to see the kids, so Chang-seok came out again. If he had been like his old self, this would have been unthinkable.
Before he became a father, Chang-seok had personality problems. That’s why we were the only friends he had.
“But why Bukhansan all of a sudden?”
“It just reminds me of old times.”
Actually, I also have a personality problem… I don’t have many friends.
I wanted to go to Bukhansan for the first time in a long time. Since Changseok said he had time, we are walking along the dirt road together.
While chatting like that, we walked up the trail with our backs bent.
“I used to come here a lot, do you remember?”
“There’s no way I don’t remember… Back then, I got paid at the ticket booth. That’s why I only came up at night every day.”
In the past, national parks also charged admission fees. Admission was free only at night when the ticket booths were closed. So we mostly took in the night views.
There is a village bus stop at the entrance of the hiking trail. If you climb up from there for just 20 minutes, there is a point where you can see the entire city.
It is a cost-effective hiking trail known only to locals. When I was a child, I was always short on money. There was no place like this where I could enjoy things for free. I used to go there often whenever I had the chance.
“Do you remember? Every time I heard a dog barking, you whined and said you were scared.”
“Because there were a lot of wild dogs back then.”
“You must have been scared, not the dog.”
“Hey, Inma. Then, when you go up the mountain at night, you hear the sound of a wild dog. Huh? It’s normal to be scared. Isn’t it?”
As we continued to bicker like that, we soon arrived at our destination, Madangbawi Rock. Rocks on the side of the mountain. The area surrounding the fairly wide open space was entirely made of rocks, so naturally, no trees grew there. As a result, the view was wide open in all directions.
“It’s still killing me here.”
“I’m telling you, there really is no place like this.”
As I stand blankly and look down at the world, the neighborhood I lived in as a child comes into view.
A gentle hiking trail that is easy to climb even if you drag your shoes.
Although the difficulty of the hike was low, the scenery was comparable to that of any mountain peak.
For a long time, we looked back at our childhood memories without saying a word.
suddenly.
Changseok said a word in a faint, sentimental tone.
“We seem to be getting old too.”
“What’s the big deal about being old? There’s nothing a young kid like you can’t say in front of your older brother.”
He was born two months after me. I asserted my authority as the older brother to Changseok’s hazy voice.
“What kind of brother are you?
Naturally, I was grabbed by the collar. When Chang-seok lightly grabbed my collar and shook it, I exaggerated and intentionally staggered more.
Perhaps because it is an open space, the spring breeze blows strongly.
In the future, in a life that is short if it is short and long if it is long.
I hope only good memories like this remain in my heart.
With that thought in mind, I blew away all the bad memories to the wind.
I’ll just drop everything down that mountain far away.