Who threatened Cheonma Hara with a knife - Chapter 38



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Who threatened to call me Cheonmahara with a knife? Episode 38

compulsion

When I thought about it carefully, it was a more serious situation than what I had seen in my nightmare.

The reason I was showing symptoms of obsession now was because it was not the handwriting, but the martial arts itself.

Perfect your handwriting?

The standard of ‘perfection’ may vary from person to person, but most people have an ideal handwriting style that they imagine in their head.

From my perspective as a modern person, it would be one of the fonts that appear when writing documents, such as Gulim, Batang, or Gungseo.

Of course, it would take a lot of effort to create a font that is as sharp as the one on the computer.

‘Even so, it’s just a drop in the bucket compared to martial arts.’

In particular, the upper limit of the Talhonmujeonggeom that I was learning was extremely high.

The Talhonmujeonggeom consists of only twenty-two styles. In particular, the styles that I have currently learned are only fourteen.

However, the small number of herbivores was due to the unique nature of the Talhonmujeonggeom.

Each of the first steps of the Talhonmujeonggeom were nothing more than a ‘concept.’

For example, the one-second Talhonbigeom is a sword technique that combines offense and defense, attacking enemies with a sword strike or blocking enemy surprise attacks.

And the concept itself was the Talhonbigeom.

So, in the process of drawing the sword, if you step back and swing it horizontally, it is a Talhonbigeom, and if you step forward and attempt a stabbing, it is also a Talhonbigeom.

The stabbing sword Danhonilseom and Poreunggeom are also spicy.

The single-shot stab was a simple and quick stab, but the stab could be aimed at the head of the opponent, the feet, or the heart.

It’s the same stabbing, but the detailed movements are all completely different. In the first place, the movements when stabbing towards the head above and when stabbing towards the ground where the feet are cannot be the same.

That is, even if it is the same single-moon island, it can have dozens or hundreds of different movements depending on how it is applied.

In addition, the Po-ryeong-geom, which starts from the same position as the Dan-hon-il-seom, is a stabbing technique that utilizes the heo-cho, unlike the Dan-hon-il-seom. Although the speed is slower than the Dan-hon-il-seom, it is a technique that turns the sword path in the middle to take advantage of an opening.

As such, the Talhonmujeonggeom was not a martial art that forced a specific swordsmanship style, but rather a martial art that taught concepts such as stabbing, cutting, and defense, so each style could be applied in dozens of postures.

In addition, the real problem was the goal pursued by the Talhonmujeonggeom.

The sword technique that continuously continues with all the movements and slowly corners the opponent, completely draining their soul is the Talhonmujeonggeom.

All fourteen possible applications must be made to be continuous, even in the order of the applications.

If we take that into account, the number of possible cases exceeds tens of thousands.

But you want to make it all ‘perfect’?

‘It’s perfect for getting mentally ill.’

I thought maybe these side effects were designed to meet that ridiculously high bar.

By forcing them to pursue perfection obsessively, they are forced to complete that absurd sword. By force through mental illness.

But the most important thing now was not the true intention of the Talhonmujeonggeom.

The problem was that I was learning this and had reached a high level.

“Phew.”

I don’t know how many hours I’ve been obsessed with the sword, but my limbs are trembling.

“Are you okay, Your Majesty?”

Jin Ha-yeon, who had been watching me from the side, spoke to me, perhaps because I had finally stopped practicing.

“I think I should rest for today.”

“You’ve thought it through well. It’s already past 9:00 PM, so I think it would be best to rest now for tomorrow.”

Jin Ha-yeon, who answered like that, prepared warm water for bathing.

After receiving her cool interrogation and hot bath, the fatigue that had been building up in my body from swinging my sword while suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder began to surge fiercely.

My whole body was screaming at me to lie down on the bed and pass out right away.

“… … .”

Entering the room, I hesitated, not knowing what to do.

Like a dragonfly caught in a spider’s web.

My body wanted to go to bed, but my eyes wouldn’t move from one place.

– You should write a diary before going to bed.

– Isn’t that something you do every day?

– Shouldn’t the handwriting be perfect?

It was as if I was hearing that voice from somewhere in my head.

* * *

Early the next morning.

Jin Ha-yeon, who had prepared breakfast, asked with her usual blunt face.

“Your Majesty, are you okay? You look very tired.”

As she said, I was so tired right now that I thought I was going to die. I guess it showed on my face.

“It’s because I didn’t get enough sleep last night.”

I tried to sleep without paying attention to the weather. I actually managed to force myself to lie down on the bed.

If there’s just a problem.

“I couldn’t sleep because things I hadn’t done kept coming to mind.”

Eventually, I gave up and was forced to write a diary before I could go to sleep.

It was a terrible experience.

-Fucking magic.

– I’m so tired I could die!! Why am I writing a diary at this hour!! With a body that’s so tired I could die!

– My arms are shaking so my handwriting is weird!! I have to fix my handwriting!!

– Get some sleep, you crazy bastard!

I’m writing a diary complaining about the side effects of magic, but that diary is actually written because of the side effects of magic.

It was a contradiction in itself. After struggling with my diary while stuck in a dilemma, I was finally able to close my eyes.

And it was just now that I woke up, having not slept for even two hours.

Jin Ha-yeon, who had been quietly listening to my grumbling that wasn’t really my grumbling, frowned and seemed to be thinking about something, then suddenly said something.

“How about asking the official for a moment?”

“Are you talking to the officer in charge?”

By official warrior, I mean Gwan Mu-yeol, one of the two warriors who recently became my bodyguard.

However, I couldn’t figure out why that human was here.

To my question, Jin Ha-yeon answered bluntly as expected.

“As far as the girl knows, the official is also learning a type of magic with side effects similar to yours.”

“!!!”

“Since the realm of the official is higher than that of Confucius, he probably knows some ways to control side effects.”

“What a wonderful idea!”

It felt like a rope had been lowered from somewhere while the sky was falling.

I quickly called Gwanmuyeol into the room.

“Is there any problem?”

I briefly explained to Gwan Mu-yeol, who asked in a tone just as blunt as Jin Ha-yeon, what had happened the night before and about the Talhonmujeonggeom.

“I heard from Lady Jin that the official is also suffering from side effects similar to mine. Is that true?”

“I also suffer from OCD, although it’s a little different.”

“If so, how can the official overcome the side effects?”

In response to my question, Gwanmuyeol frowned and asked back.

“Since that side effect can increase the achievement of the Talhonmujeonggeom, is there really a need to think of it so negatively?”

As expected, it was a mindset befitting of those crazy about martial arts.

In fact, as he said, obsession wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Perfectionism doesn’t always bring only negative thoughts. The obsession causes me a lot of stress, but on the other hand, the sense of accomplishment I get when I do something ‘perfectly’ is also enormous.

‘It was the same yesterday when I was practicing the Talhonmujeonggeom.’

When I felt something was wrong, I swung my sword compulsively, but it wasn’t always difficult.

The sense of accomplishment I felt when I succeeded in fixing the wrong parts was enormous. The only problem was that I became even more absorbed in the sword, and my obsession became even worse.

And I didn’t want to live like that. My dream was to just have fun and eat moderately.

But I couldn’t reveal my dream here, so I decided to beat around the bush.

“One, shouldn’t martial arts be viewed in the long term? If you stay up all night trying to quickly improve your level in one day, it will be difficult to move the next day. You need to start and end things appropriately.”

Guan Mu-yeol, who seemed to think my answer was logical, opened his mouth after a moment of hesitation.

“The simplest way is to create conflicting compulsions.”

“???”

When I made a face of incomprehension, he added an explanation.

“I heard from Lady Jin that even before the side effects of the Talhonmujeonggeom began, Confucius had been compulsively making and following a schedule.”

“… … .”

As a test taker, I thought it was natural, but there was a moment when I realized that others might see this as an obsession.

“So, if you really become obsessed with that schedule, you will be able to stop practicing swordsmanship without forcing yourself. The sense of accomplishment from keeping the schedule and the sense of guilt from stopping training will be mixed together, so even if it feels a little uncomfortable, you will be able to get through it somehow.”

He spoke as if he were sharing a story from experience.

‘Is this what Admiral Lee Dok-gae is?’

It seemed absurd, but plausible, to use compulsion to prevent compulsion.

Above all, because the person who said that was an experienced person.

I had obtained some useful information, but I still had some questions, so I asked Gwanmuyeol more.

“But what do you do when you can’t do it? When you can’t do it because of external reasons, when you can’t help but act as you are compelled to do?”

As I was asking, something came to mind, so I gave a specific example.

“Well. For example, the last time I visited Gochahyun and Hwajunghyun. You couldn’t train me as instructed by the Master, right? I was ‘injured’ so there was nothing you could do.”

As soon as I finished speaking, Gwanmuyeol’s expression crumpled as he remembered that time.

I used to think that the reason this guy was so cranky was simply because of his personality, but now I see that it seems to be because of his obsessive-compulsive disorder.

To be exact, it was a sense of guilt that came from not being able to perfectly follow the Master’s instructions. And it seemed like the cause of that sense of guilt was me.

‘Come to think of it, isn’t this none of your business?’

What if, while I’m swinging my sword like a madman due to the side effects of the Talhonmujeonggeom, someone intervenes and binds my limbs, preventing me from swinging my sword?

‘… I don’t know now, but after I reach a higher level, I might foam at the mouth and have a seizure.’

As I thought about it that way, my perspective on Guan Muyeol changed.

‘You held it together well.’

If it were me, I would have either dragged him out forcibly and trained him, or I would have gotten angry and caused something to happen.

Originally, I couldn’t relate to it at all, but as I started to suffer from OCD, there were some things I could relate to.

A story often heard in modern times. Anecdotes of CEOs of foreign conglomerates known for being perfectionists acting like psychopaths to their colleagues and subordinates.

I used to just think those bosses were crazy, but now that I have OCD, my thoughts have changed.

Otherwise, it would probably be because he couldn’t stand it.

However, I didn’t mean to say that I wanted to become one of those people. That’s why I was even more curious about how Gwanmuyeol would deal with it.

When things don’t go his way and he feels like he’s going crazy from the self-loathing that comes from obsessive-compulsive disorder, how does he cope?

And then, looking into my eyes filled with anticipation, Gwanmuyeol, who had been thinking for a while with his face wrinkled, carefully opened his mouth.

“When I can’t stand the feeling of self-loathing, I punish myself.”

For some reason, as he spoke, Guan Muyeol had a hazy expression and a blush appeared on his face.

“!?”

As I looked at that disgusting sight, a scene like that naturally came to mind.

The sight of Kwan Mu-yeol shouting, “I’m a bad kid! Please punish me!” and a woman holding a whip.

‘Damn. As expected, the Demonic Cult is the Demonic Cult.’

He seemed to be fine, but he was still a demon.

“And, recently… Ah. No.”

Gwanmuyeol, who was about to say something more, hesitated and avoided answering.

“Ahem. There is a method that has been tried recently, but it is not a reliable method, so I will tell you about it later.”

“… Okay, I understand.”

For some reason, I felt like I would be discovering a secret about an adult male that I shouldn’t know, so I gave up digging into it.

* * *

In the end, it wasn’t very helpful, but I still gained something from my conversation with Gwanmuyeol.

‘Endure with conflicting compulsions.’

By being obsessed with the schedule, you avoid practicing the sword until your body aches.

It seemed like a useful method.

Of course, this is a stopgap measure, and a fundamental solution is needed. There may be situations where you cannot keep to your schedule, such as going on a business trip again.

‘Another solution that Guan Muyeol suggested… Let’s leave it as a last resort.’

I didn’t want to have that kind of sexual preference because I felt like it would cross a line that shouldn’t be crossed.

But right next to me, there was a beautiful woman who seemed ready to whip and spank me if I asked her to.

Anyway, after the morning class and external training with a woman who seemed to have a great talent for selling and whipping.

As usual, guests came to Pungamjeon during break time.

Seon-ah, Dae-sa-hyeong, and Hang-geon.

Following the usual trio, surprisingly, the third brother and Guyangmun also came to Pungamjeon together.

“Were you alive?”

“Yes? What do you mean, Confucius?”

When I asked a question without realizing it, Goo Yang-moon answered with a puzzled look on his face.

“Ahem. Nothing. More importantly, how did you end up here together?”

When I, who had something to worry about, changed the subject, the third death row inmate smiled darkly and answered.

“Haha. After hearing the priest’s story, I went to Guyang Sohyeop and talked to Moo-gong, and I found out that it was a very interesting Sohyeop.”

“Is that so?”

“No matter what I said, he always had positive things to say. He didn’t give me great solutions like a priest, but listening to him made me feel a little better.”

To the third death penalty explanation, Gu Yangmun added with a cool smile.

“Hahaha. How could I possibly follow Confucius? I am also in a position to receive advice from Confucius. Hahaha.”

“Haha. Now that I think about it, we did have that conversation too.”

When the third death row inmate, who was smiling darkly, elbowed Guyangmun in the side, Guyangmun suddenly made an awkward expression and started taking something out of his sleeve.

“Ahem. Ha-yeon! Last time, the princes were there so I couldn’t tell you, but this time I came back from a mission… .”

“After listening to my story, I realized that this was something that our Guyang Sohyeop had a hard time obtaining. Please take a closer look.”

Goo Yang-moon starts to flirt with Jin Ha-yeon, who has a cold expression on her face, and the third death row inmate provides support.

It must have been a truly bizarre sight.

‘What is it? Is it a combination of positive and negative?’

If those two were to become one, it would be like a perfect case of bipolar disorder.

“If it’s something that was so hard to obtain, it would be right for Guyang Sohyeop to use it himself.”

Of course, it seemed unlikely that the two of them could join forces to take down Jin Ha-yeon.

As expected, he was a master of selling and whipping.